The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: scientist

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 027

    A series of cautionary tales for budding young scientists.

    Orid Dass:

    Orid Dass is your standard jungle scientist: he’s out there making apes into men and men into apes, all for the love of the ape-man game. He also has the distinction of being the only foe faced by Fantomah the one post-Fletcher Hanks adventure in which she is still kind of a jungle demigod rather than a jungle hero who knows some magic.

    In that capacity, Fantomah does a little man/ape transformation of her own, turning both Dass and his ape-men into little green monkeys until he reverts his latest victim (a white guy) to human form, though why she couldn’t just do it herself is not explored.

    Dass briefly gets one over on Fantomah by dropping her into a pit lined with radioactive ore, as this is also the one issue in which her powers are neutralized in the presence of radiation, but is subsequently crushed when his entire base collapses on top of him – the downside to the convenience of building your science compound on top of a huge radioactive cavern system, I guess. (Jungle Comics 016, 1941)

    Doktor Teufel:

    Doktor Teufel lives on the aptly-named Death Mountain and spends his time enslaving passing US aviators and building advanced radio-powered technology, implicitly in service to some nefarious plot against the United States. He’s a prime example of the kind of villain who is perfectly positioned to achieve all of his goals but who has not planned for the fact that a radium-powered super-hero – specifically Radior, the X-Ray Powerman – is going to walk fly a convertible through his front door and dismantle his entire operation in twenty minutes. (Key Ring Comics, 1941)

    Dr Dietz:

    We meet Dr Dietz after he has successfully stolen a high-powered experimental aircraft, and he spends so much time bragging about this and about how great a weapon it will make once he has mounted his disintegrator ray cannon (or “death-beam”) on it to Federal Agent Steve Crawford* that he never actually gets around to mentioning whether he intends to use it for espionage or for personal gain. He himself is disintegrated before he gets a chance to clarify. (Liberty Scouts Comics 002, 1941)

    *Referred to as “Steve Crawford, Undercover Man” despite the fact that in this, his only recorded adventure he is operating under his own name and openly as a lawman.

    the Mad Scientist:

    The aptly-named Mad Scientist has been setting forest fires as a way of capturing strapping young firefighters from the nearby CCC* base as fodder for his experiments. He is aided in this by his mind-controlled niece Nancy and a huge goon named Gaston (who wears a very cool-looking protective suit while traipsing through the burning forests).

    And just what is the radical theory that has driven the Mad Scientist to both the fringes of society and the outskirts of scientific ethics? Why, he believes that if he electronically incinerates a human body just right then it will become “solid gas.” Exactly what does this mean? I cannot really say, but going by the available evidence from his eventual successful creation the result is a living, tangible human with a massively decreased density and a radically different metabolism. 

    *the Civilian Conservation Corps, a New Deal work program.

    As I said, the process is eventually successful, turning a CCC firefighter named Jim into the mighty Fire-Man, but while the Mad Scientist was able to conceptualize and bring into existence an entirely new form of life he was not as visionary about the benefits of proper lab safety and both he and Gaston were fatally exploded in Fire-Man’s subsequent attempt to escape his captor. (Liberty Scouts Comics 002, 1941)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 027

    A series of cautionary tales for budding young scientists.

    Orid Dass:

    Orid Dass is your standard jungle scientist: he’s out there making apes into men and men into apes, all for the love of the ape-man game. He also has the distinction of being the only foe faced by Fantomah the one post-Fletcher Hanks adventure in which she is still kind of a jungle demigod rather than a jungle hero who knows some magic.

    In that capacity, Fantomah does a little man/ape transformation of her own, turning both Dass and his ape-men into little green monkeys until he reverts his latest victim (a white guy) to human form, though why she couldn’t just do it herself is not explored.

    Dass briefly gets one over on Fantomah by dropping her into a pit lined with radioactive ore, as this is also the one issue in which her powers are neutralized in the presence of radiation, but is subsequently crushed when his entire base collapses on top of him – the downside to the convenience of building your science compound on top of a huge radioactive cavern system, I guess. (Jungle Comics 016, 1941)

    Doktor Teufel:

    Doktor Teufel lives on the aptly-named Death Mountain and spends his time enslaving passing US aviators and building advanced radio-powered technology, implicitly in service to some nefarious plot against the United States. He’s a prime example of the kind of villain who is perfectly positioned to achieve all of his goals but who has not planned for the fact that a radium-powered super-hero – specifically Radior, the X-Ray Powerman – is going to walk fly a convertible through his front door and dismantle his entire operation in twenty minutes. (Key Ring Comics, 1941)

    Dr Dietz:

    We meet Dr Dietz after he has successfully stolen a high-powered experimental aircraft, and he spends so much time bragging about this and about how great a weapon it will make once he has mounted his disintegrator ray cannon (or “death-beam”) on it to Federal Agent Steve Crawford* that he never actually gets around to mentioning whether he intends to use it for espionage or for personal gain. He himself is disintegrated before he gets a chance to clarify. (Liberty Scouts Comics 002, 1941)

    *Referred to as “Steve Crawford, Undercover Man” despite the fact that in this, his only recorded adventure he is operating under his own name and openly as a lawman.

    the Mad Scientist:

    The aptly-named Mad Scientist has been setting forest fires as a way of capturing strapping young firefighters from the nearby CCC* base as fodder for his experiments. He is aided in this by his mind-controlled niece Nancy and a huge goon named Gaston (who wears a very cool-looking protective suit while traipsing through the burning forests).

    And just what is the radical theory that has driven the Mad Scientist to both the fringes of society and the outskirts of scientific ethics? Why, he believes that if he electronically incinerates a human body just right then it will become “solid gas.” Exactly what does this mean? I cannot really say, but going by the available evidence from his eventual successful creation the result is a living, tangible human with a massively decreased density and a radically different metabolism. 

    *the Civilian Conservation Corps, a New Deal work program.

    As I said, the process is eventually successful, turning a CCC firefighter named Jim into the mighty Fire-Man, but while the Mad Scientist was able to conceptualize and bring into existence an entirely new form of life he was not as visionary about the benefits of proper lab safety and both he and Gaston were fatally exploded in Fire-Man’s subsequent attempt to escape his captor. (Liberty Scouts Comics 002, 1941)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 026

    If we criminalize mad science then only criminal scientists will be mad.

    Mauser:

    Mauser is the second of two foes battled by two-fisted chemist Guy Gorham and also the second rogue biologist. Was this comic setting up some sort of biologist/chemist beef that never got a chance to pay off? Mauser’s plans are never really spelled out, but he’s got a colony of vampire bats that he seems to be training to attack human targets, which isn’t great but which spells his undoing when he steals Gorham’s food concentrate formula for use as vampire feed – presumably for when human blood is in short supply. 

    A couple of other things about Mauser: he has a pretty decent uniform which he shares with his underlings, and despite his name (and the name of his henchman Herr Klotz) he does not appear to be a fascist. (Great Comics 002, 1941)

    Dr Berchtoldt:

    All Dr Berchtoldt wants to do is peacefully develop his robot army (and then take over the world). They won’t let him do it on land, so he moves under the sea, where he still gets hassled by the Man, in the form of Navy Jones. And all he did was kidnap Princess Coral and threaten to marry her against her will: is that any justification for hounding a man from his undersea fortress and then blowing up him and his super submarine alike? (Green Mask v1 006, 1941)

    de Moire:

    De Moire and his pal the Skipper have come to the part of Africa that Kaänga hangs out in to do unethical human experiments on what they assume are expendable people. After transforming one guy into a huge green killing machine, de Moire becomes obsessed with doing the same to Kaänga to make an even more beefy creature. This obsession leads him to neglect his original creation, and it wanders off and gets a look at itself in a pool of water and realizes that it is now ugly, which in turn leads it to slay de Moire. The Skipper is likewise killed, leaving Kaänga to battle the monster to the death. (Jungle Comics 013, 1941)

    Zalov Varno:

    Zalov Varno has been sending teams of men out to attack the oil fields of Debra-Tabuk, prompting Tabu, Wizard of the Jungle to pay him a visit and see just what his deal is. Though he captures Tabu with surprising ease given the latter’s vast magical power, Varno never actually explains just what he wants the oil for, which is in my opinion one of the greatest of villainous sins. I don’t even feel bad for him when he gets killed with his own Devitalizer Beam.

    The most interesting thing about Varno is what exactly is going on with his right eye. As far as I can tell, he wears some sort of semi-spherical black monocle, but just why he might care to do so is left as an exercise for the reader. (Jungle Comics 013, 1941)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 026

    If we criminalize mad science then only criminal scientists will be mad.

    Mauser:

    Mauser is the second of two foes battled by two-fisted chemist Guy Gorham and also the second rogue biologist. Was this comic setting up some sort of biologist/chemist beef that never got a chance to pay off? Mauser’s plans are never really spelled out, but he’s got a colony of vampire bats that he seems to be training to attack human targets, which isn’t great but which spells his undoing when he steals Gorham’s food concentrate formula for use as vampire feed – presumably for when human blood is in short supply. 

    A couple of other things about Mauser: he has a pretty decent uniform which he shares with his underlings, and despite his name (and the name of his henchman Herr Klotz) he does not appear to be a fascist. (Great Comics 002, 1941)

    Dr Berchtoldt:

    All Dr Berchtoldt wants to do is peacefully develop his robot army (and then take over the world). They won’t let him do it on land, so he moves under the sea, where he still gets hassled by the Man, in the form of Navy Jones. And all he did was kidnap Princess Coral and threaten to marry her against her will: is that any justification for hounding a man from his undersea fortress and then blowing up him and his super submarine alike? (Green Mask v1 006, 1941)

    de Moire:

    De Moire and his pal the Skipper have come to the part of Africa that Kaänga hangs out in to do unethical human experiments on what they assume are expendable people. After transforming one guy into a huge green killing machine, de Moire becomes obsessed with doing the same to Kaänga to make an even more beefy creature. This obsession leads him to neglect his original creation, and it wanders off and gets a look at itself in a pool of water and realizes that it is now ugly, which in turn leads it to slay de Moire. The Skipper is likewise killed, leaving Kaänga to battle the monster to the death. (Jungle Comics 013, 1941)

    Zalov Varno:

    Zalov Varno has been sending teams of men out to attack the oil fields of Debra-Tabuk, prompting Tabu, Wizard of the Jungle to pay him a visit and see just what his deal is. Though he captures Tabu with surprising ease given the latter’s vast magical power, Varno never actually explains just what he wants the oil for, which is in my opinion one of the greatest of villainous sins. I don’t even feel bad for him when he gets killed with his own Devitalizer Beam.

    The most interesting thing about Varno is what exactly is going on with his right eye. As far as I can tell, he wears some sort of semi-spherical black monocle, but just why he might care to do so is left as an exercise for the reader. (Jungle Comics 013, 1941)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 025

    I feel like we could avoid some of this unpleasantness if we made the Mad Arts a required part of the curriculum again.

    Unnamed Sorcerer:

    The Golden Knight and Alice are up to some good old-fashioned adventure, as they travel into the land of Kongola to seek out the cause of mysterious disappearances of people in adjoining Kooran. Just where are Kongola and Kooran? I’m going to say somewhere in what is now the United Kingdom since that that is where the Golden Knight is headquartered, but they could literally be anywhere given that he has started visiting his supernatural brothers in-law on the Moon and the Sun and thus has an interplanetary range.

    Kongola turns out to be a good place for adventure, as it is filled with magical and monstrous threats including:

    – hypnotic illusions

    – carnivorous trees hiding behind those illusions

    – club-wielding minotaurs

    – giant bats

    – ape men, who manage to carry off Alice

    Pressing on, the Golden Knight arrives at a huge tower that he says has been built by the enslaved people of Kooran, but I never see them.

    So just who is responsible for the kidnappings, the tower and the monsters? Why, this insane magician, who claims to have done it all so that he can be safe from floods and then promptly jumps off the tower into a… lake? and drowns. More importantly, why is he listed here in the space reserved for low-rent mad scientists? Because while comic book magic users fill a very similar ecological niche as super-scientists they don’t have as great a population and consequently a far lesser rate of one-note losers, and I had to put him somewhere. (Fantastic Comics 019, 1941)

    the Professor:

    The Professor is a hypnotist of some stripe who uses his powers to turn lawmen into agents of his gang. He meets his match in detective Spencer Steel, who as a comic book protagonist is of course immune to such feeble things as mind control and quickly turns the tables on his would-be master. (Fight Comics 011, 1941)

    Unnamed Scientist:

    Though this unnamed scientist talks a bit like a kindly mentor who gives you super-powers in order to save mankind from aliens etc, in practice he just has a kid tied up in his jungle compound who he feeds potions to. Perhaps he had some sort of important plan that would justify this behaviour but if so it is lost to the ages when he wanders out into the jungle to get hilariously killed by an extremely jumpy snake.

    The poor kid, meanwhile, grows into a giant and aimlessly wanders the countryside battling various world militaries until Power-Man shows up and tosses a bomb at his gut. It’s a bummer ending that wouldn’t happen in most comics and I kind of respect it. (Fight Comics 012, 1941)

    Dr Moluk:

    Dr Moluk and his assistant Scorpo have developed a machine that takes germs and bacteria and assembles them into multicellular organisms that resemble golden dragon-dogs. He intends to use these creatures to sow mass panic and ultimately take over the world. An evil plan, but a cool one. 

    Unfortunately for Moluk, his assigned heroic enemy is Guy Gorham, who is billed as the World’s Greatest Chemist but acts like the World’s Most Thorough Ass-Kicker. He busts in, beats ten kinds of hell out of Moluk and Scorpo, and ends up feeding the former to his own dragons. It honestly feels like bullying by the end. (Great Comics 001, 1941)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 024

    Let’s spare a thought for all the mad lab assistants who do so much for so little credit. 

    Rokula:

    Rokula’s plan is simple: kidnap inventors and then use his mind control machine to force them to work for him. Hey, it’s a classic for a reason, but it’s also a plan with a high chance of attracting super-heroic attention such as that of Zongar the Miracle Man.  

    Rokula might be a fan of the classics but like so many of his peers he is no as into workplace safety, and he meets his end when Zongar sends him careening into his own equipment with a forceful punch. (Silver Streak Comics 007, 1941)

    Quislor:

    Quislor is a fellow who has developed technology that turns aircraft into remote-controlled drones, and is using it to send bombers out to destroy airfields across the US, thus reducing its ability to field an air force. Though he never quite gets around to saying just why he’s doing this it is presumably in service to some sort of fascist plot.

    Like all air-based crooks within Cloud Curtis’ flight range, Quislor soon learns that the only reward for messing with the sanctity of the wild blue yonder is a sock to the jaw and a trip to the hoosegow. (Silver Streak Comics 014, 1941)

    Professor Giess:

    Professor Giess, a crypto-fascist scientist with some very interesting eyebrows, has developed a fuel additive called Thanotane (great name) that causes vehicles using it to give off deadly fumes in their exhaust. His plan to distribute this fuel throughout the US to spread terror is stymied somewhat when the test shipment is hijacked by gangsters, but the plan is still on track until John Thesson, aka the Son of the Gods, gets involved and beats everyone up. This must be especially galling for Giess, who noted that Thesson was going to pose a challenge but put off dealing with him for too long. Live and learn, I guess, until you’re shot as an enemy agent. (Exciting Comics 007, 1941)

    Doctor Mord:

    Dr Mord is, like, the Platonic ideal of the comic book mad scientist. He lives in a castle that he explicitly just kind of found in the South African jungle and is attempting to scientifically extract the human soul and place it into a big jar of acid by electrocuting people’s brains. He claims that this will make him a god among men, but fails to lay out how, exactly.

    The old storytelling rule of Chekhov’s Unsealed Vat of Acid comes into play here and Doctor Mord ends up doused in the stuff before being chucked out a window by Captain Kidd. (Fantastic Comics 014, 1941)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 024

    MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 024

    Let’s spare a thought for all the mad lab assistants who do so much for so little credit. 

    Rokula:

    Rokula’s plan is simple: kidnap inventors and then use his mind control machine to force them to work for him. Hey, it’s a classic for a reason, but it’s also a plan with a high chance of attracting super-heroic attention such as that of Zongar the Miracle Man.  

    Rokula might be a fan of the classics but like so many of his peers he is no as into workplace safety, and he meets his end when Zongar sends him careening into his own equipment with a forceful punch. (Silver Streak Comics 007, 1941)

    Quislor:

    Quislor is a fellow who has developed technology that turns aircraft into remote-controlled drones, and is using it to send bombers out to destroy airfields across the US, thus reducing its ability to field an air force. Though he never quite gets around to saying just why he’s doing this it is presumably in service to some sort of fascist plot.

    Like all air-based crooks within Cloud Curtis’ flight range, Quislor soon learns that the only reward for messing with the sanctity of the wild blue yonder is a sock to the jaw and a trip to the hoosegow. (Silver Streak Comics 014, 1941)

    Professor Giess:

    Professor Giess, a crypto-fascist scientist with some very interesting eyebrows, has developed a fuel additive called Thanotane (great name) that causes vehicles using it to give off deadly fumes in their exhaust. His plan to distribute this fuel throughout the US to spread terror is stymied somewhat when the test shipment is hijacked by gangsters, but the plan is still on track until John Thesson, aka the Son of the Gods, gets involved and beats everyone up. This must be especially galling for Giess, who noted that Thesson was going to pose a challenge but put off dealing with him for too long. Live and learn, I guess, until you’re shot as an enemy agent. (Exciting Comics 007, 1941)

    Doctor Mord:

    Dr Mord is, like, the Platonic ideal of the comic book mad scientist. He lives in a castle that he explicitly just kind of found in the South African jungle and is attempting to scientifically extract the human soul and place it into a big jar of acid by electrocuting people’s brains. He claims that this will make him a god among men, but fails to lay out how, exactly.

    The old storytelling rule of Chekhov’s Unsealed Vat of Acid comes into play here and Doctor Mord ends up doused in the stuff before being chucked out a window by Captain Kidd. (Fantastic Comics 014, 1941)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 935: PROFESSOR BLANKHORNE

    (Silver Streak Comics 013, 1941)

    Dickie Dean, Boy Inventor has a new invention: the Photo-Lightning Machine, with which he can cause a bolt of lightning to crash down on anyplace he pleases, like the deserted house across the road from him that nobody was planning on using, hopefully. The only catch is that he hasn’t yet figured out how to get the lightning to strike a target that is in water.

    Dickie and his pal Zip Todd take the plans for the machine to Dickie’s lawyer to have it registered at the patent office, only to find a new face ready to take his business. This is C.B. Wolf, a foreign agent who has infiltrated the firm specifically to steal Dickie’s inventions for his home country. Wolf wires the plans home to the laboratory of Professor Blankhorne, the second greatest inventor in the world, barring Dickie (and how that must rankle Professor Skinn), who decides that rather than using them to construct his own machine he will save time by travelling to Castleton to acquire the original.

    Dickie is of course unwilling to sign over his shiny new weapon of mass destruction to an Axis agent and capable of defeating the Professor’s crude attempt to mug him for it, which forces Blankhorne to establish a Stateside volcano lair to operate out of.

    Blankhorne’s second attempt at obtaining the Photo-Lightning Machine involves sending a storm of remote-controlled and explosive model planes down on Castleton, Pennsylvania and presumably just kind of hoping that they will kill Dickie but leave his invention intact. This attempt is foiled by a patented Dickie Dean lightning storm that brings all of the planes down safely outside of town.

    It is at this point that I must question Professor Blankhorne’s motives for confronting Dickie Dean. As mentioned above, he claims that stealing the machine will be quicker than building one, yet between the trans-Atlantic journey and the time spent in preparing his drone fleet, this effort has taken Blankhorne at least three and a half months so far. Is this the sunk cost fallacy at play, or is the Professor trying to prove that he is not merely the second-greatest inventor on Earth?

    Blankhorn (along with the surprisingly hands-on CB Wolf) are seemingly handed victory on a platter when Dickie’s pal Zip Todd sets out to confront them with a baseball bat and is promptly imprisoned and – both inexplicably and importantly – tied up and suspended in a big tub of water.

    Thanks to the aforementioned flaw in the Photo-Lightning Machine’s targeting, Dickie is able to blast Blankhorne’s entire base without hitting Zip Todd, and when the villains attempt to escape in the Sky Bug he blows them out of the air with a complete lack of remorse. 

    Astonishingly (considering the fact that he was blown up on-panel), Professor Blankhorne manages to return in Silver Streak Comics 015. He infiltrates Dickie Dean’s new high-tech laboratory in the guise of an old flower seller (and gruesomely murders Dickie’s head of security in a vat of lye) as part of a scheme to loot the place of all of its technological wizardry. A solid plan, though I will note that he does so on the first day that the lab is in operation and so his haul is mostly made up of the stuff that Dean had already created.

    Though the law is no match for Dickie Dean’s lightning cannon (a distinct invention from the Photo-Lightning Machine), Blankhorne is no match for a couple of teenaged boys in a smoke screen, and he is captured with much greater ease than in his first appearance.

    Categorized in: Accessories (Drones), Doctors & Professors, Ideologies (Crypto-Fascists)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 935: PROFESSOR BLANKHORNE

    (Silver Streak Comics 013, 1941)

    Dickie Dean, Boy Inventor has a new invention: the Photo-Lightning Machine, with which he can cause a bolt of lightning to crash down on anyplace he pleases, like the deserted house across the road from him that nobody was planning on using, hopefully. The only catch is that he hasn’t yet figured out how to get the lightning to strike a target that is in water.

    Dickie and his pal Zip Todd take the plans for the machine to Dickie’s lawyer to have it registered at the patent office, only to find a new face ready to take his business. This is C.B. Wolf, a foreign agent who has infiltrated the firm specifically to steal Dickie’s inventions for his home country. Wolf wires the plans home to the laboratory of Professor Blankhorne, the second greatest inventor in the world, barring Dickie (and how that must rankle Professor Skinn), who decides that rather than using them to construct his own machine he will save time by travelling to Castleton to acquire the original.

    Dickie is of course unwilling to sign over his shiny new weapon of mass destruction to an Axis agent and capable of defeating the Professor’s crude attempt to mug him for it, which forces Blankhorne to establish a Stateside volcano lair to operate out of.

    Blankhorne’s second attempt at obtaining the Photo-Lightning Machine involves sending a storm of remote-controlled and explosive model planes down on Castleton, Pennsylvania and presumably just kind of hoping that they will kill Dickie but leave his invention intact. This attempt is foiled by a patented Dickie Dean lightning storm that brings all of the planes down safely outside of town.

    It is at this point that I must question Professor Blankhorne’s motives for confronting Dickie Dean. As mentioned above, he claims that stealing the machine will be quicker than building one, yet between the trans-Atlantic journey and the time spent in preparing his drone fleet, this effort has taken Blankhorne at least three and a half months so far. Is this the sunk cost fallacy at play, or is the Professor trying to prove that he is not merely the second-greatest inventor on Earth?

    Blankhorn (along with the surprisingly hands-on CB Wolf) are seemingly handed victory on a platter when Dickie’s pal Zip Todd sets out to confront them with a baseball bat and is promptly imprisoned and – both inexplicably and importantly – tied up and suspended in a big tub of water.

    Thanks to the aforementioned flaw in the Photo-Lightning Machine’s targeting, Dickie is able to blast Blankhorne’s entire base without hitting Zip Todd, and when the villains attempt to escape in the Sky Bug he blows them out of the air with a complete lack of remorse. 

    Astonishingly (considering the fact that he was blown up on-panel), Professor Blankhorne manages to return in Silver Streak Comics 015. He infiltrates Dickie Dean’s new high-tech laboratory in the guise of an old flower seller (and gruesomely murders Dickie’s head of security in a vat of lye) as part of a scheme to loot the place of all of its technological wizardry. A solid plan, though I will note that he does so on the first day that the lab is in operation and so his haul is mostly made up of the stuff that Dean had already created.

    Though the law is no match for Dickie Dean’s lightning cannon (a distinct invention from the Photo-Lightning Machine), Blankhorne is no match for a couple of teenaged boys in a smoke screen, and he is captured with much greater ease than in his first appearance.

    Categorized in: Accessories (Drones), Doctors & Professors, Ideologies (Crypto-Fascists)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 923: PROFESSOR SKINN

    (Silver Streak Comics 007, 1941)

    The Skinn family is being killed off – at least seven of them have been murdered on their birthdays, leaving only the odius Mortimer Skinn, and he soon follows, despite police protection. 

    Boy Inventor Dickie Dean hasn’t been idle while this campaign of murder has been going on: thanks to a surveillance balloon he raised over the town for the purpose, he and his pal Zip Todd are able to track the culprit to his home. There. they learn that he is a blind beggar whom they had prevented Mortimer Skinn from beating some months prior, and that he is in fact Mortimer’s brother and the sole surviving member of the Skinn clan.

    Professor Skinn (unsettling name. unsettling family name) reveals that Mortimer and his other brothers attempted to kill him for his life insurance some years back but had only succeeded in blinding him and leaving him for dead. He spent at least some of the intervening time creating his frankly amazing looking cybernetic eye/helmet and planning a revenge that with the death of Mortimer is complete. And now he’s ready to put his skills to use in the world of crime!

    Dickie rebuffs Skinn’s attempt to recruit him as a partner, so out comes the scalpel, the bone drill and the brain injection fluid, because Professor Skinn is not one to take no for an answer. Dickie Dean is promptly evilized and turned on to the benefits of a life of crime.

    The new super-science criminal duo proceed to create a precious metal-attracting magnet and go ham on the town’s gold supply.

    Fortunately for Dickie’s long-term viability as the lead character in a comic strip, Zip Todd gets himself free after days (weeks?) of imprisonment and turns the tables on Skinn thanks to some lax lab safety procedures that mean there’s just vials of nitroglycerine lying around to grab. Skinn reverses the evilization procedure with a handy ray and is hauled away… FOR NOW.

    (also Skinn is vulnerable to attacks on his enormous weak point, like a video game boss)

    Professor Skinn returns in Silver Streak Comics 008, where he escapes prison with the help of his assistant Blubber’s berserker strength. Please not that the Castleton PD saw fit to take away Skinn’s helmet when they locked him up, thus rendering him blind – I’d call that cruel and unusual punishment.

    Dickie, rightfully concerned about Skinn being on the loose, works on an invention that he can use to counter anything that the Professor throws at him, while Skinn does the same and then forces a confrontation by kidnapping Dickie’s parents.

    It’s a tehnological showdown: disintegrator ray vs invisibility ray, and Dickie’s invisibility gives him just enough of an edge to free his parents and destroy the disintegrator, though he himself is captured in the process.

    Professor Skinn next sets out to loot Castleton again, this time with an army of remote controlled robots, but between Zip Todd (overlooked in the scuffle) leading the entirety of the Castleton PD back to his base and a still-invisible Dickie getting loose and causing a ruckus he and Blubber are ultimately forced to zipline down the mountain to freedom.

    This is enough for Professor Skinn: he challenges Dickie to settle things with a war of inventions via singing telegram.

    Silver Streak Comics 009: the war of inventions kicks off after both parties have had a couple of months to prepare, in a fairly horrific fashion as Professor Skinn shells the Castleton High School.

    After putting some distance between them and their surviving classmates, Dickie and Zip Todd wait out the initial shelling in an impenetrable fort before sallying forth in a similarly impenetrable tank equipped with a force ray cannon. They are accompanied by a squadron of small but mighty robots to counter Skinn’s own robot forces. Skinn, in addition to his mechanical infantry, has an air force comprised of trained, bomb-dropping birds, and is conducting his artillery barrage from a base concealed behind a waterfall. 

    I must say that I was disappointed by Skinn’s use of fairly conventional artillery, but he won me back with the robot army and sea gull air force.  

    Professor Skinn is extracted from behind the waterfall when Dickie uses his force ray to bounce a few artillery shells back to their source, and then makes a bid for victory by having his birds carry off Dickie and Zip while he and Blubber steal Dickie’s super tank. It all ends badly, however, as Professor Skinn and Blubber blow themselves up while trying to activate the force ray. Professor Skinn has finally joined the rest of his family in Hell.

    OR HAS HE? 

    No, it turns out, because Silver Streak Comics 011 features a final appearance in which he attempts to chase Dickie and his pals away from fixing up an abandoned theme park that he has been hiding out in. This is a definite step down for the Professor, from legitimate threat to Scooby-Doo villain.

    Skinn’s main Teen Removal tool in this issue is a very Silver Age vehicle called the Gadget Octopus that is equipped with various gag tentacles (boxing glove tentacle, kicking foot tentacle, net tentacle, kid spanking tentacle etc) as well as a fire cannon for when things get serious.

    Once Dickie gets in a room with him, Professor Skinn is easily captured, as befits his fallen status. He’s taken off to jail once more (hopefully with a better lawyer who can successfully argue against eye confiscation this time) and is never seen again. Did he wisely retire or did the fact that Pennsylvania – where “Dickie Dean, Boy Inventor” is plausibly set – is a death penalty state and Skinn is a multiple murderer come into play? 

    Categorized in: Accessories (Various), Murder (Familicides), Origin (Blind Characters)