The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: world domination

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 256: MORGAN CROOKES

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 256: MORGAN CROOKES

    (Hit Comics 001, 1940)

    Hey, it’s Morgan Crookes, a retired man of great wealth! He tries to take over the world and gets stomped by Neon the Unknown in his first adventure! It’s probably one of the most racist comics of the Golden Age! Which is saying something!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 246: KARVAC

    (Flash Comics v1 014, 1941)

    Karvac himself is strictly ho hum territory: a would-be world conqueror who leads his army of heat ray-toting goons on a path of destruction before being beaten up by Hawkman. Snoresville, man.

    BUT: the method by which Karvac managed to acquire his army of heat ray-toting goons, now that’s the kind of comic book nonsense that we love around here.

    Karvac, you see, unearthed rites and rituals connected to Scorio, Alligator God of the Phoenicians, and established both a temple and cult of worshippers to Scorio in the Eastern US, in order to cast ancient ritual magics and bring Scorio to him.

    AND IT WORKS! Korvac summons a god! And that god promptly tells him how to make heat rays for his army of goons to tote! (it’s not exactly clear in the text whether the army of goons are also the Scorio cultists that Hawkman sees performing rituals at the temple earlier in the story, but it’s narratively satisfying to think so)

    Scorio eventually gets banished back to the otherworldly swamp that he usually hangs out in, and as far as I know has never made a return appearance. But he should! Korvac might’ve been a dud, but an ancient and vengeful alligator god who can hand out secret knowledge to evil men is a really neat foe for a guy like Hawkman, particularly once his reincarnation bullshit really gets going – Katar Hol might not know Scorio from a hole in the ground but Scorio knows a soul no matter how many times it’s been reborn. BRING BACK Scorio!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 246: KARVAC

    (Flash Comics v1 014, 1941)

    Karvac himself is strictly ho hum territory: a would-be world conqueror who leads his army of heat ray-toting goons on a path of destruction before being beaten up by Hawkman. Snoresville, man.

    BUT: the method by which Karvac managed to acquire his army of heat ray-toting goons, now that’s the kind of comic book nonsense that we love around here.

    Karvac, you see, unearthed rites and rituals connected to Scorio, Alligator God of the Phoenicians, and established both a temple and cult of worshippers to Scorio in the Eastern US, in order to cast ancient ritual magics and bring Scorio to him.

    AND IT WORKS! Korvac summons a god! And that god promptly tells him how to make heat rays for his army of goons to tote! (it’s not exactly clear in the text whether the army of goons are also the Scorio cultists that Hawkman sees performing rituals at the temple earlier in the story, but it’s narratively satisfying to think so)

    Scorio eventually gets banished back to the otherworldly swamp that he usually hangs out in, and as far as I know has never made a return appearance. But he should! Korvac might’ve been a dud, but an ancient and vengeful alligator god who can hand out secret knowledge to evil men is a really neat foe for a guy like Hawkman, particularly once his reincarnation bullshit really gets going – Katar Hol might not know Scorio from a hole in the ground but Scorio knows a soul no matter how many times it’s been reborn. BRING BACK Scorio!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 241: KING JUPO

    (Flash Comics v1 009, 1940)

    King Jupo is the leader of the Kogats, a race of water-breathing caveman types who live beneath New York Harbor and have a fun mix of technologies, being armed with either stone axes or laser pistols. They’ve decided to invade the surface world, for no substantial reason other than that it seems like a good idea, and immediately run afoul of Hawkman. Needless to say, this does not end well, and the entire Kogats race, Jupo included, are destroyed when Hawkman collapses their city into an undersea trench, because genociding nonhuman races is okay in comics.

    I really like the Kogats – the contrast between the regular caveman guys and enormous Jupo is fun, plus Jupo himself – 10 feet tall, flaming red hair, ram’s horns – is visually striking. So what if their actual plan is ho hum regular comic stuff? I’m surprised that Roy Thomas never brought this guy back to fight the All-Star Squadron, but since he didn’t, they’re ripe to be BRUNG BACK, if only as part of the weirdly extensive network of subsea communities that Atlantis is part of. I wanna see Aquaman try to do diplomacy with this dude!

    This issue also features Hawkman meeting Poseidon who gives him the power to breathe underwater. I can’t actually figure out if he ever used this power again – it certainly doesn’t come up again in any Golden Age stories I’ve read, but it seems like the sort of thing your Roy Thomas or Geoff Johns would just love to incorporate into a story. Problem is, the fact that Hawkman has this power seems to be a mid-tier popular bit of trivia and finding out whether everyone is just talking about this story or not is a bit more effort than I care to expend.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 241: KING JUPO

    (Flash Comics v1 009, 1940)

    King Jupo is the leader of the Kogats, a race of water-breathing caveman types who live beneath New York Harbor and have a fun mix of technologies, being armed with either stone axes or laser pistols. They’ve decided to invade the surface world, for no substantial reason other than that it seems like a good idea, and immediately run afoul of Hawkman. Needless to say, this does not end well, and the entire Kogats race, Jupo included, are destroyed when Hawkman collapses their city into an undersea trench, because genociding nonhuman races is okay in comics.

    I really like the Kogats – the contrast between the regular caveman guys and enormous Jupo is fun, plus Jupo himself – 10 feet tall, flaming red hair, ram’s horns – is visually striking. So what if their actual plan is ho hum regular comic stuff? I’m surprised that Roy Thomas never brought this guy back to fight the All-Star Squadron, but since he didn’t, they’re ripe to be BRUNG BACK, if only as part of the weirdly extensive network of subsea communities that Atlantis is part of. I wanna see Aquaman try to do diplomacy with this dude!

    This issue also features Hawkman meeting Poseidon who gives him the power to breathe underwater. I can’t actually figure out if he ever used this power again – it certainly doesn’t come up again in any Golden Age stories I’ve read, but it seems like the sort of thing your Roy Thomas or Geoff Johns would just love to incorporate into a story. Problem is, the fact that Hawkman has this power seems to be a mid-tier popular bit of trivia and finding out whether everyone is just talking about this story or not is a bit more effort than I care to expend.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 240: PROFESSOR KITZOFF

    (Flash Comics v1 008)

    Professor Kitzoff makes me sad because he is categorically not the Sunspot Wizard. Oh sure, someone at DC or in the fan community went back and assigned titles to all the untitled Golden Age stories and they called this one “the Sunspot Wizard”, but that’s nothing. I love an unofficial name as much as (probably more than) the next guy, but they have to a) come from the text of the story itself and b) can’t just be replacing the actual name by which the character is actually referred!

    So, yes, sad. Professor “Boring Name” Kitzoff has followed the popular criminal scientist path of making an astonishing breakthrough based on junk science – in this case the idea that sunspots affect world events. He has a cool ray that supposedly allows him to affect these sunspots and thus the fate of humanity, but luckily for humanity, Hawkman and his pal Doctor French are on the case and Kitzoff is hounded from New York to the Andes until being accidentally shot by one of his own henchmen. Ho hum.

    My depression is only lifted by the fact that this is the adventure in which Hawkman is seemingly killed and his seeming corpse is nailed up in a coffin with lots of gaps between the boards for some reason, leading to one of the best images of the Golden Age:

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 237: CZAR THE UNKILLABLE MAN

    (Flash Comics v1 007, 1940)

    Like Echo or Hugo Strange’s Monster Men before him, Czar the Unkillable Man is arguably less a super-villain than a tool created by a super-villain, but where’s the fun in listing a buncha guys named Dr Samuels and Professor Tompkins or in this case Boris Nickaloff?

    Nickaloff is a bit of a mystery – he creates Czar by sculpting a complete human body – inside and out – out of “plasm-clay” and then shocking it to life with a shot of adrenaline. Is this meant to be mad science? Magic? A modern day Pygmalion story? No clues are given. Probably science if the adrenaline is any hint, but I prefer to think it’s reality-bending mad art.

    Nickaloff gets Czar to rob some banks and kill a bunch of people, and it’s here that he maybe turn out to be a bit less of a tool than old Echo after all, as he sets about his rampages with  a bit more gusto than is required. He also kidnaps Shiera Sanders in a fit of man-monster horniness, which is both telling and gross.

    Hawkman of course can’t let such wanton killing and reallocation of funds stand, and he eventually stumbles upon the Unkillable Man’s weakness: he still has to breathe. To be clear, he stumbles upon it because Nickaloff repeatedly states that it is Czar’s only weakness in a loud, clear voice, which favour Hawkman repays by killing the both of them via a set of bolas to the neck.

    (as seen above, Hawkman initially thinks that he is dealing with a vampire rather than a living statue and I must say that I love this kind of thing much much more than when the hero jumps to a wild conclusion that is correct. Keep up the dumbass guesses, Hawkman!)

    As an addendum, an honour! Hawkman gets a vote of thanks from the banks!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 237: CZAR THE UNKILLABLE MAN

    (Flash Comics v1 007, 1940)

    Like Echo or Hugo Strange’s Monster Men before him, Czar the Unkillable Man is arguably less a super-villain than a tool created by a super-villain, but where’s the fun in listing a buncha guys named Dr Samuels and Professor Tompkins or in this case Boris Nickaloff?

    Nickaloff is a bit of a mystery – he creates Czar by sculpting a complete human body – inside and out – out of “plasm-clay” and then shocking it to life with a shot of adrenaline. Is this meant to be mad science? Magic? A modern day Pygmalion story? No clues are given. Probably science if the adrenaline is any hint, but I prefer to think it’s reality-bending mad art.

    Nickaloff gets Czar to rob some banks and kill a bunch of people, and it’s here that he maybe turn out to be a bit less of a tool than old Echo after all, as he sets about his rampages with  a bit more gusto than is required. He also kidnaps Shiera Sanders in a fit of man-monster horniness, which is both telling and gross.

    Hawkman of course can’t let such wanton killing and reallocation of funds stand, and he eventually stumbles upon the Unkillable Man’s weakness: he still has to breathe. To be clear, he stumbles upon it because Nickaloff repeatedly states that it is Czar’s only weakness in a loud, clear voice, which favour Hawkman repays by killing the both of them via a set of bolas to the neck.

    (as seen above, Hawkman initially thinks that he is dealing with a vampire rather than a living statue and I must say that I love this kind of thing much much more than when the hero jumps to a wild conclusion that is correct. Keep up the dumbass guesses, Hawkman!)

    As an addendum, an honour! Hawkman gets a vote of thanks from the banks!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 235: THE ORDER OF ASSASSINS

    (Flash Comics v1 005, 1940)

    It’s another version of the old Order of Assassins, this time as a revival founded by a supposed descendant of Hassan-i Sabbah, the original Assassin of yore, though since he died in 1124 AD there’s a decent chance that anybody is his descendant. 

    Legitimacy aside, this buncha yahoos operates out of a city-fortress called Alamut (but somewhere in the vicinity of Egypt rather than Iran) and is engaged in a somewhat nebulous plot to conquer the world by assassinating various leaders, including that of the very delicious-sounding nation of Frappe. Hawkman foils this scheme with a few well-placed sling bullets, but even though their leaders are killed, the bulk of the organization survives, possibly as part of the next iteration of the Order, whenever that crops up.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 235: THE ORDER OF ASSASSINS

    (Flash Comics v1 005, 1940)

    It’s another version of the old Order of Assassins, this time as a revival founded by a supposed descendant of Hassan-i Sabbah, the original Assassin of yore, though since he died in 1124 AD there’s a decent chance that anybody is his descendant. 

    Legitimacy aside, this buncha yahoos operates out of a city-fortress called Alamut (but somewhere in the vicinity of Egypt rather than Iran) and is engaged in a somewhat nebulous plot to conquer the world by assassinating various leaders, including that of the very delicious-sounding nation of Frappe. Hawkman foils this scheme with a few well-placed sling bullets, but even though their leaders are killed, the bulk of the organization survives, possibly as part of the next iteration of the Order, whenever that crops up.