The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: world domination

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 784: THE GREEN MASK

    (Sure-Fire Comics 001, 1940)

    The Green Mask is after one thing: world domination, and he’s looking to achieve it by capturing the Shock Ray, a weapon capable of paralyzing hundreds of people at a time, and which has been deemed too terrible to use by the US government (just why this is it unclear – my only idea is that it is either a fatal paralysis or a permanent one).

    The thing about the Green Mask that is very compelling is his hood – I’m always harping on about those characters who make the choice to have a nose cutout in their evil villain hood, and how that choice is a perfect one if you want comfort and also don’t mind looking bad, and while the Green Mask has chosen to have ear cutouts – very similar – he has also gone with nostril holes instead of the full nose, and I have to say that that strikes me as both bad-looking and immensely impractical/uncomfortable. His minions all look terrific in their Halloween demon masks, though.

    Another thing I’m always yapping on about is the long stretches of pointless action in the middles of Golden Age stories, and in no story is that more evident than this one. The Green Mask gets ahold of the Shock Ray plans on the first panel of the second page, and the much of the rest of the fifteen-page story involves his attempts to kill or capture various people tangentially involved in the theft for no stated reason, while X gathers more and more evidence toward his eventual capture.

    And speaking of that capture, once it happens the Green Mask is revealed to be… Sam Barkley! And let me tell you that when I first read this story I was a little tired and so I figured that the fact that I had no idea who Sam Barkley was meant that I hadn’t been paying enough attention, but no, Sam Barley is a “famous sportsman” who made a one-panel, non-speaking appearance, six pages earlier and that was it. It’s the most out-of nowhere reveal in comics history.

    Anyway, much beloved ancillary character Sam Barkley turned to a life of crime because he was mixed-race, and his American father abandoned his probably-Malaysian mother (based mostly on the fact that his henchmen are all or mostly Malaysian), leading him to hate all Americans and ultimately embark on a life of costumed crime. If his motivations were more nuanced than that then they will sadly go unexplored, as once captured he immediately chugs some prussic acid rather than be taken alive.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 770: GOLI

    (Startling Comics 004, 1940)

    We open on a world in turmoil! The tides are going crazy! New York City is trashed!

    The world’s leaders turn to the mysterious Dr X for help, and he immediately recognizes that the problem must be Moon-based, and further that the solution will require his niece’s fiance Bob to go beat someone up. This is the second and final Dr X story of the Golden Age, and I really wish that there were more. Wizened scientists sending burly aides to beat up crooks is entirely in my wheelhouse

    Bob and Cynthia are promptly teleported to the Moon in their finest protective beachwear, and Bob gets to fight an excellent moon-beast.

    Bob and Cynthia are captured by Moon-Man forces who do indeed turn out to be the ones messing up the tides. This Moon-aggression is technically happening under the command of the unnamed Moon King and his tall horny daughter, but it becomes clear that the real architect of the plot against Earth is the Head Scientist, Goli. Never one to waste a couple of good prisoners, Goli has plans to stick some Moon-Man brains in Bob and Cynthia’s bodies in order to use them as spies in the post-apocalyptic Moon-Man invasion of Earth.

    In a lucky turn for Bob, Cynthia and the Earth, the Moon Princess is so horny for Bob that she sets the prisoners free. Goli is killed by Bob in a move that also smashes the tide machine, and one short teleporter ride later everyone is safely back in Dr X’s secret laboratory in the Andes.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 768: THE PURPLE PLAGUE

    (Startling Comics 001, 1940)

    Shortly after acquiring his super powers, Andrew “Captain Future” Bryant uses them to sniff out a criminal conspiracy to rob a gold shipment from the nation of Finvania and then use that capital to finance a bid for world domination by someone called the Purple Plague. Exactly the sort of thing that a fledgling super-hero is going to be against!

    Captain Future spends the bulk of the issue in a back-and-forth tussle with the Purple Plague’s henchmen (called variously the Purple Plague Mob, the Followers of the Purple Plague and the very cool Knights of the Purple Plague), and also with the not-very-genre-savvy police, who keep thinking that the brightly-dressed superhuman is doing the crimes instead of the horde of concussed gangsters littering the landscape around him.

    Future does eventually locate the actual Purple Plague himself and at that point it’s just a case of one übermensch versus a room full of regular guys plus one older guy in a robe. Even a gang of moderately cool-looking killbots barely slows down the inevitable mass pummelling.

    As a side note, one of the Knights of the Purple Plague is Andrew Bryant’s boss, Mr Devlin, who fires Bryant as a cost-cutting measure and thus inspires him to pursue the reckless line of research that ends with the accident that turns him into Captain Future. Was Devlin cutting costs in order to funnel profits from the Pacific Electrical Corporation to the Purple Plague, or was the Plague’s brand of villainy just an attractive prospect to a small-minded capitalist like Devlin? Either way this is a classic case of the villain inadvertently creating the hero who would destroy them.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 759: THE IRON HAND

    (Master Comics 006, 1940)

    While monitoring the world for trouble one day (using his Troublescope, natch), Master Man spots, in quick succession: an auto-gyro creating green rainclouds, a collection of mysteriously paralyzed wildlife, a full-fledged paralysis epidemic dubbed “the Living Death” in a nearby city, and the news that the preeminent scientist working to cure the plague has been murdered. He takes what I would say is a surprising amount of time to put two and two together and determine that these events might just be linked.

    The culprit behind all of these occurrences is the arch-criminal known as the Iron Hand, due to his iron hand. He has been dispensing the Living Death disease into the city’s reservoir using the green rain, and plans on expanding his operation world wide if he is successful in bringing the unnamed city under his heel. It’s a real shame that much of the rest of the story involves the Iron Hand’s minions vs Master Man in a series of retreat actions because the Iron Hand himself is barely present and he’s just the kind of bombastic jagoff villain I love.

    Master Man eventually works his way through all of the Iron Hand’s low-level doofuses in time to crash his auto gyro in a lake and drown him. There’s a teaser that suggests that maybe the drowning wasn’t quite enough to defeat such a cool villain, but as this is the final Master Man comic, it has to stand.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 759: THE IRON HAND

    (Master Comics 006, 1940)

    While monitoring the world for trouble one day (using his Troublescope, natch), Master Man spots, in quick succession: an auto-gyro creating green rainclouds, a collection of mysteriously paralyzed wildlife, a full-fledged paralysis epidemic dubbed “the Living Death” in a nearby city, and the news that the preeminent scientist working to cure the plague has been murdered. He takes what I would say is a surprising amount of time to put two and two together and determine that these events might just be linked.

    The culprit behind all of these occurrences is the arch-criminal known as the Iron Hand, due to his iron hand. He has been dispensing the Living Death disease into the city’s reservoir using the green rain, and plans on expanding his operation world wide if he is successful in bringing the unnamed city under his heel. It’s a real shame that much of the rest of the story involves the Iron Hand’s minions vs Master Man in a series of retreat actions because the Iron Hand himself is barely present and he’s just the kind of bombastic jagoff villain I love.

    Master Man eventually works his way through all of the Iron Hand’s low-level doofuses in time to crash his auto gyro in a lake and drown him. There’s a teaser that suggests that maybe the drowning wasn’t quite enough to defeat such a cool villain, but as this is the final Master Man comic, it has to stand.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 744: PROXOFF

    (Smash Comics 009, 1940)

    Proxoff is an example of a Kind of Guy that you see in Golden Age Comics: he came through the chaos of the Great War and said to himself “if this ever happens again then I’m going to come out on top.” Together with his aides van Damm and Count Trini, Proxoff has established secret airfields and fortresses in Siberia and presumably elsewhere and is waiting for his moment to swoop in and conquer the weakened nations of the world once they’ve fought one another for a while.

    Proxoff’s scheme hinges on his army of men who do not fear death, as exemplified by this would-be assassin who, having failed to kill Black X, bumps himself off using a cool skeletonizing drug (in-universe, the skeleton thing is not really for any reason, but on a meta level it points the Black X to its point of origin in Siberia).

    The “no fear of death” thing eventually proves to be Proxoff’s downfall. Firstly, they’ve been so heavily conditioned that Black X’s aide Batu is able to mesmerize an entire submarine without even trying, and secondly, the impulse to die rather than submit to capture overtakes them when Batu drops his concentration during some depth charge action and they all kill themselves rather than, say attempting to take back the ship.

    Things get even worse once Proxoff’s men see actual combat, as they don’t even see the point of returning enemy fire and prolonging their own existences. Truly this is an indictment of the trope of the henchman loyal unto death.

    Proxoff himself meets an ironic end: as Black X closes in on him he must resort to his own skeleton drug rather than being captured, and the caption makes sure to emphasize that he, unlike his men, does not particularly want to die.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 539 UPDATE: THE CLAW (1940)

    (Silver Streak Comics 002, 006)

    As you may or may not recall, when I covered the Claw’s sole 1939 appearance I concluded that taken on its own, it read like one of those stories where a villain holds sway over an area by means of a fake monster and that if the Claw had never appeared again that’s what I would assume he was: just an illusion composed of papier mache and maybe a balloon or an image projected on a cloud.

    Well, surprise, surprise, because that wasn’t the only appearance of the Claw and in fact the vary next issue of Silver Streak Comics features him joining up with an unnamed but very recognizable Adolf Hitler in return for control of half of Europe following a Claw/Nazi victory.

    The first part of the Claw’s plan involves attacking allied shipping using his very cool underwater train/tank. Next, using super-powered artillery cannon to shell civilian population centres… somewhere. I mean, the cities all look pretty Western hemisphere but as the Claw’s original HQ on the island of Ricca was in the Pacific and he’s still close enough to there that the ships he sinks are being transported back to be used in Riccan munitions factories, so maybe he’s attacking the West coast of the United States? Not sure how that helps the Nazis, honestly, but it’s either that or his artillery is really really super and he’s bombing Europe.

    The Claw eventually gets impatient with just blowing things up and proves me wrong yet again by growing enormous and using his weird powers to set up a whirlpool so mighty that it not only draws in and dooms ships from across the ocean but also changes the world’s weather patterns, causing the tropics to freeze over. Bad!

    Our old pal and original Claw foe Jerry Morris is of course not going to take this, particularly after his previously-unmentioned younger brother Tad is lost at sea in the Claw’s oceanic chaos. He combines one of his signature astonishing super-science inventions – in this case a special bulb that emits light rays that instantly freeze water – with some cars stored in the hold of the ship he is on to create vehicles that are able to fabricate a sheet of ice to drive on across even the deepest water. And since the ice goes all the way to the bottom, these vehicles are able to neutralize the Claw’s maelstrom by creating a series of concentric ice walls around it.

    There ensues what is actually a pretty neat battle between ice-road cars and the submarine tank/train, with the cars attempting to hem in the train with walls while the train fires its artillery cannons upward – I would enjoy playing a video game about this! The Claw is ultimately killed in an explosion when the munitions on his train explode… OR IS HE?

    He is not! And despite the assertion at the end of the previous story, Jerry Morris seems to have foregone taking the Claw’s body back to the US for dissection, perhaps because it was not technically a legal thing to do. Whatever the circumstances, the body ends up falling into the hands of a group of “devil worshippers” somewhere in Asia, but whether the Claw was the devil in question or not is hard to say (though in leaping back to life just as his body was consigned to the funeral pyre he certainly must have inspired some supernatural awe).

    Also, for this story alone, the Claw is referred to as the Green Claw and his claws are indeed coloured green for the occasion.

    The (Green) Claw’s opponent in this case is Major Carl Tarrant, who is either a soldier of fortune or a member of the local colonial police, but either way he simply must investigate the possibility of the Claw’s return. Tarrant manages to avoid the Claw’s cultists but is tracked down by the villain himself with some high-tech devices, then shrunk via magic and stuck in a metal box to gruesomely expire when the shrink spell wears off.

    The Claw then reveals his latest plan to take over the world: a kick-ass robot army! No notes, 10/10, a classic for a reason, just look at those cool robots.

    Tarrant of course has to spoil everything by getting out of the box before he gets squished. He destroys the robots by taking advantage of the Claw’s metal-destroying anti-bullet force field and then does one better by bombing the entire fortress/city to smithereens. But though the Claw is thwarted, HE YET LIVES. What horrors are we in store for in 1941?

    (just had to feature this cover from Silver Streak Comics 006, which I spent an inordinate amount of time being creeped out by – those hands! – as replicated in Jeff Rovin’s Encyclopedia of Super Villains)

  • PROBLEMATIC ROUND-UP 004

    Get ready for a collection of MLJ’s finest racially-problematic villains.

    Yen Fat Sing: 

    Yen Fat Sing’s deal is that he knows about a treasure buried on Fu Chang’s charity farm and, in an effort to grab that treasure for himself, has been murdering the workers using man-eating plants. He’s a pretty standard type of minor super-villain but because he is a Fu Chang foe he is of course a generic Yellow Peril character on top of that. A couple of remarkable things about Yen Fat Sing: 

    1. after all the effort to run everyone off the farm, once Fu Chang is closing in he just sneaks onto the grounds and digs up the treasure, suggesting that he could have done that all along and particularly so because nobody knew about the treasure at all until he ran his mouth about it.

    2. Yen Fat Sing is killed in the course of the story but, unlike virtually every other comic book villain to have anything to do with carnivorous plants, he is not eaten by a tree but rather dies in a car crash.

    I do rally like that the man-eating plants only attack in the dark. That’s a fun detail. (Pep Comics 005, 1940)

    Joodar the Evil:

    Joodar the Evil starts out as an evil equivalent to Fu Chang, only instead of accessing his power via supplication to an ancestral god with a tonsure, Joodar worships the Great Genii of the Water Demons, and instead of a very eclectic set of animated chess figures…

    … Joodar is granted the services of – you guessed it – water demons. Though his stated plans involve world domination, Joodar has a lot of trouble with step 1: destroy Fu Chang, to the extent that both the Great Genii and his Water Demon crew end up destroyed. (Pep Comics 006, 1940)

    Joodar returns in the next issue, potentially because “summoning water demons” isn’t a crime in San Francisco. This time he is without his demon pals and so he turns to the next best things: bacteria and mosquitoes! Specifically, he has mixed up a big batch of different harmful bacteria and stuck ’em in some mosquitoes in order to create havoc in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Why does he do this? It’s not entirely clear. Generic revenge? Mass chaos? Joodar doesn’t really deliver a coherent thesis statement I’m afraid.

    Joodar’s greatest creation is this enormous mosquito, which almost takes out Fu Chang and his fiance Tay Ming but ultimately cannot contend with those pesky magic chessmen. Joodar, as far as I know, just absconds into the night – perhaps mosquito-crime is also not illegal in San Francisco. (Pep Comics 007, 1940)

    Dr Wang:

    Dr Wang is a Yellow Peril villain in the true Fu Manchu mould, a sinister genius who strikes at the security of the US for no stated reason. It’s possible that we are meant to read Asian villain = Japanese, but if I’m honest an evil mastermind who plots against the United States for the sheer cussed challenge of it it quite a bit more evocative.

    Dr Wang is so threatening to the secuirty of the country, in fact, that we are introduced to him in media res ad the Shield attempts to murder him by dropping a boulder on his car. This is that proactive super-hero action that we al1 wanted in the late aughts!

    Dr Wang has two things going for him: the first is his mask, which looks great. Terrific style of mask, particularly with a hat. The second is his plan to disrupt US war production, by rounding up a bunch of guys who are afflicted with cholera and hypnotizing them into getting jobs in arms factories, thus starting a targeted cholera epidemic. And the very fun thing about this is that cholera is mostly spread by contact with infected feces, so these factories must be disgusting.

    The Shield cannot of course let this stand, and goes back for another try at solving the Dr Wang Problem, and you know what they say: the second time is the charm – plus it’s a bit more narratively satisfying for the Shield not to do a premeditated murder! (Shield-Wizard Comics 002, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 726: PROFESSOR MEIER

    (Science Comics 005, 1940)

    Professor Meier, a scientist, seeks to conquer the world by unleashing an ever-growing horde of mutated life forms from his jungle HQ. This is all pretty regular stuff and he probably would have been tossed into the regular science round-up, only there are a couple of fun things that Meier brings to the table that I would like to highlight.

    First off, the mutated beasts themselves are a pretty fun design, a sort of lion/monkey/caveman/eagle chimera, plus green. What really sells them for me, though, are the dramatic shadows that they are covered with, and which usually obscure their face like they’re in a 50s horror comic and have visages too terrible for the human mind to comprehend (*CHOKE!*). Plus, they all have fun little bowl cuts.

    Professor Meier also has a fantastic look. Like, yes, most of the characters tagged “scientist” and/or “mad science” here are wearing some sort of labwear, but the whole 1940s surgical outfit complete with head mirror and black rubber gloves is a real banger of a costume. And he wears it to bed in his Safety Bedroom. Armed, of course.

    New Power Alert: Marga the Panther Woman is already too mutated to be turned into a creature by Meier’s janky serum but she does get even stronger than she already was.

    And finally, once Marga and Homer (the one friendly beast) get Meier out of the way, all of his creatures are given an antidote and turn out mainly to be small animals like rabbits and ducks – shades of Sonic the Hedgehog! – which is pretty fun. Homer turns out to be a German Shepherd, and it looks like Marga will have a fun canine companion going forward but sadly he never returns. Professor Meier’s fate is a bit more ambiguous, but I reckon he’s dead.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 726: PROFESSOR MEIER

    (Science Comics 005, 1940)

    Professor Meier, a scientist, seeks to conquer the world by unleashing an ever-growing horde of mutated life forms from his jungle HQ. This is all pretty regular stuff and he probably would have been tossed into the regular science round-up, only there are a couple of fun things that Meier brings to the table that I would like to highlight.

    First off, the mutated beasts themselves are a pretty fun design, a sort of lion/monkey/caveman/eagle chimera, plus green. What really sells them for me, though, are the dramatic shadows that they are covered with, and which usually obscure their face like they’re in a 50s horror comic and have visages too terrible for the human mind to comprehend (*CHOKE!*). Plus, they all have fun little bowl cuts.

    Professor Meier also has a fantastic look. Like, yes, most of the characters tagged “scientist” and/or “mad science” here are wearing some sort of labwear, but the whole 1940s surgical outfit complete with head mirror and black rubber gloves is a real banger of a costume. And he wears it to bed in his Safety Bedroom. Armed, of course.

    New Power Alert: Marga the Panther Woman is already too mutated to be turned into a creature by Meier’s janky serum but she does get even stronger than she already was.

    And finally, once Marga and Homer (the one friendly beast) get Meier out of the way, all of his creatures are given an antidote and turn out mainly to be small animals like rabbits and ducks – shades of Sonic the Hedgehog! – which is pretty fun. Homer turns out to be a German Shepherd, and it looks like Marga will have a fun canine companion going forward but sadly he never returns. Professor Meier’s fate is a bit more ambiguous, but I reckon he’s dead.