The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: world domination

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 722: DR DOOM

    (Science Comics 003, 1940)

    Flashback to my times in the Fiction House content-recycling mines of Planet Comics! What we have here is a Dr Doom story nestled snugly into an issue of Science Comics just where Dr Doom stories always go, but it’s not the right Dr Doom! Was this a story about a different science villain that was renamed to fit the space, or did “Richard Crater” (Dick Briefer, possibly) just kind of freestyle a fill-in gig and go wildly off-model? Who can say?

    What I can say is that this Dr Doom is a villain both more entertaining and more ambitious than our regularly scheduled one. Instead of tormenting a handful of people for his own entertainment, this Dr Doom is blowing up buildings as part of a campaign of terror designed to put him in charge of the world, and he shows off some fantastic bombast while expositing all of this. “Fools! Fools! Fools!”

    Of course this sort of thing can not allowed to go on, and since this Dr Doom is very much not a future-man, J Edgar Hoover sends the rough and tumble Bob Steele to take care of him.

    Bob doesn’t have much trouble making his way to Dr Doom’s lair – he merely hops out of his plane and into the remotely-piloted one that Doom uses as a relay for his destructive ray, and after that it’s just a matter of waiting to be flown back to a mountain full of costumed goons and then beating all of those goons up. Simple stuff.

    Bob and Dr Doom provide an object lesson on the limits of bombast as a tool in everyday life, as it proves ineffective in convincing Bob not to punch Dooms lights out and smash up his laboratory. So long Dr Doom, it’s neat that there are two of you (and more to come).

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 709: RACKO

    (Prize Comics 002, 1940)

    Though he went unnamed in his first appearance, this tonsured fellow is Racko, alien magic man Jupiter’s most enduring foe at a whopping three encounters. Racko’s first outing involved a classic pyramid scheme structure as he sent mutated green humans with horn noses out into the New York streets to kidnap more humans to turn into more minions, and so on until he controlled the world. Ironically, this might be a slightly more ethical version of the typical pyramid scheme, as his minions were under no illusions that they might eventually become wealthy if they sold enough tights or what have you.

    A bunch of what turns out to be fairly dim-witted minions is just not enough to contend with a magic-using alien super-hero, even when bolstered by a paralysis ray cannon, and Racko is forced to restore his henchmen to human form before seemingly taking his own life via some handily exposed wires.

    Racko fans need not despair, as it turns out that he survived! His new plan: drain all of the reservoirs that supply NYC until the Governor of New York is forced to bow to his demands for some ray gun plans and the Governor’s daughter Joan.

    (just why the Governor has these plans is not explored in the text, so we must assume that they are associated with the office. A gubernatorial death ray, as it were)

    Perhaps in an overreaction to the poor showing that his monsterized henchmen put on in his last scheme, Racko uses the death ray on his own men after they secure it for him. They probably wouldn’t have offered much assistance when Jupiter and his pal Jim Johnson show up at the volcano base immediately afterward, but even a useless henchman can serve as a distraction. As it stands, Racko ends up falling to his death in the depth of a volcano that is subsequently blown up by Jupiter. Gone for good, I’d say.

    racko

    I have called it too soon, as Racko is in fact not dead yet again and is taking another pass at world conquest, this time by launching “boulder storms” from his hideout at the South Pole, and here I think that I have some constructive criticism for him: mad science or no, attempt to conquer the world or no… stop attacking New York City first. You’re sitting at the South Pole, man – chuck a few boulders at Australia to test out your equipment before you do the thing that you know will attract Jupiter’s attention because he live in New York.

    Jupiter sails through Racko’s defenses as easily as ever, despite the best efforts of some unaligned ice dragons, and the third time proves to be the charm as far as blowing him and his entire operations to smithereens with alien magic goes. Good by Racko;

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 709: RACKO

    (Prize Comics 002, 1940)

    Though he went unnamed in his first appearance, this tonsured fellow is Racko, alien magic man Jupiter’s most enduring foe at a whopping three encounters. Racko’s first outing involved a classic pyramid scheme structure as he sent mutated green humans with horn noses out into the New York streets to kidnap more humans to turn into more minions, and so on until he controlled the world. Ironically, this might be a slightly more ethical version of the typical pyramid scheme, as his minions were under no illusions that they might eventually become wealthy if they sold enough tights or what have you.

    A bunch of what turns out to be fairly dim-witted minions is just not enough to contend with a magic-using alien super-hero, even when bolstered by a paralysis ray cannon, and Racko is forced to restore his henchmen to human form before seemingly taking his own life via some handily exposed wires.

    Racko fans need not despair, as it turns out that he survived! His new plan: drain all of the reservoirs that supply NYC until the Governor of New York is forced to bow to his demands for some ray gun plans and the Governor’s daughter Joan.

    (just why the Governor has these plans is not explored in the text, so we must assume that they are associated with the office. A gubernatorial death ray, as it were)

    Perhaps in an overreaction to the poor showing that his monsterized henchmen put on in his last scheme, Racko uses the death ray on his own men after they secure it for him. They probably wouldn’t have offered much assistance when Jupiter and his pal Jim Johnson show up at the volcano base immediately afterward, but even a useless henchman can serve as a distraction. As it stands, Racko ends up falling to his death in the depth of a volcano that is subsequently blown up by Jupiter. Gone for good, I’d say.

    racko

    I have called it too soon, as Racko is in fact not dead yet again and is taking another pass at world conquest, this time by launching “boulder storms” from his hideout at the South Pole, and here I think that I have some constructive criticism for him: mad science or no, attempt to conquer the world or no… stop attacking New York City first. You’re sitting at the South Pole, man – chuck a few boulders at Australia to test out your equipment before you do the thing that you know will attract Jupiter’s attention because he live in New York.

    Jupiter sails through Racko’s defenses as easily as ever, despite the best efforts of some unaligned ice dragons, and the third time proves to be the charm as far as blowing him and his entire operations to smithereens with alien magic goes. Good by Racko;

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 707: PRINCE BLAGA DARU

    (Planet Comics 005, 1940) 

    Gale Allen was a long-running feature of Planet Comics, which meant that she was a creation of many absent-minded hands. She is always an officer in a gendered space organization, but whether that is the Women’s Space Battalion, the Girl’s Patrol, the Girl’s Squadron and so forth varies from issue to issue. The story is set in the far-off year of 1990 but drifts farther into the future over time. She turns blonde eventually. You get the picture. 

    Early Gale Allen stories feature spaceman Jack North as a real pill of a sidekick who spends much of his on-panel time carping on about how women don’t belong in the space military. They also feature Prince Blaga Daru, a space pirate-turned-world conqueror who has the hots for Gale, possibly because she is semi-secretly a Venusian princess but possibly just because he likes a strong woman.

    In his first appearance, Daru has already conquered Europe and set his eyes on invading North America, with Step I of his plan involving taking control of the the Sub-Oceanic Transit Tube, aka the Trans-Atlantic Subway. Gale Allen and her Falcon Squadron set out to stop him, and shockingly don’t succeed! That is, they do succeed in driving off the initial attack and then get captured by the Prince’s special Gale Allen task force, for you see he loves her and wants to marry her. She of course tells him to go screw and gets away with the help of Jim North.

    (the Prince’s world domination scheme is kiboshed in the subsequent issue and Blaga Daru himself is punched in the eye for his trouble)

    Prince Blaga Daru makes two more spends his next two appearances, in Planet Comics 009 and 011, and in both he has shifted his focus almost entirely to the pursuit of Gale Allen’s hand in marriage. But not by reforming and being a cool guy and courting her on her terms, no. Prince Blaga Daru is a space pirate, and space pirates kidnap their love interests and marry them against their wills. It’s a real culture clash, and it ends up with the Prince unceremoniously falling out of a spaceship door to his demise.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 707: PRINCE BLAGA DARU

    (Planet Comics 005, 1940) 

    Gale Allen was a long-running feature of Planet Comics, which meant that she was a creation of many absent-minded hands. She is always an officer in a gendered space organization, but whether that is the Women’s Space Battalion, the Girl’s Patrol, the Girl’s Squadron and so forth varies from issue to issue. The story is set in the far-off year of 1990 but drifts farther into the future over time. She turns blonde eventually. You get the picture. 

    Early Gale Allen stories feature spaceman Jack North as a real pill of a sidekick who spends much of his on-panel time carping on about how women don’t belong in the space military. They also feature Prince Blaga Daru, a space pirate-turned-world conqueror who has the hots for Gale, possibly because she is semi-secretly a Venusian princess but possibly just because he likes a strong woman.

    In his first appearance, Daru has already conquered Europe and set his eyes on invading North America, with Step I of his plan involving taking control of the the Sub-Oceanic Transit Tube, aka the Trans-Atlantic Subway. Gale Allen and her Falcon Squadron set out to stop him, and shockingly don’t succeed! That is, they do succeed in driving off the initial attack and then get captured by the Prince’s special Gale Allen task force, for you see he loves her and wants to marry her. She of course tells him to go screw and gets away with the help of Jim North.

    (the Prince’s world domination scheme is kiboshed in the subsequent issue and Blaga Daru himself is punched in the eye for his trouble)

    Prince Blaga Daru makes two more spends his next two appearances, in Planet Comics 009 and 011, and in both he has shifted his focus almost entirely to the pursuit of Gale Allen’s hand in marriage. But not by reforming and being a cool guy and courting her on her terms, no. Prince Blaga Daru is a space pirate, and space pirates kidnap their love interests and marry them against their wills. It’s a real culture clash, and it ends up with the Prince unceremoniously falling out of a spaceship door to his demise.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 686: COUNT ZONGARR

    (Pep Comics 003, 1940)

    Someone has been using super-fast jet planes to mine New York Harbor and the Shield wants to know why, and not just because he happened to be on one of the ships that was exploded as a result. He manages to grab onto one of the planes the next time they come around and finds out first hand that they are not only super fast but able to convert into submarines as well. And that their home base is a very cool Art Deco-ish city in an underwater cavern!

    The mastermind of this whole scheme turns out to be Count Zagnarr, exiled munitions manufacturer. Just why he has been exiled (and from where) is left unexplored, nor do we learn why he is believed dead. We do however learn the reason for his mining campaign: he is attempting to draw the US into WWII in the hopes of swooping in and taking over once all sides have sufficiently weakened one another. A classic scheme for a reason, even if we in retrospect can see where it would have had a pretty slim chance of working.

    Despite being plausibly dead, Count Zongarr acquits himself well when confronted with a patriotic superhuman and manages to take the Shield down using a poison gas gun. The weakened Shield (this issue marks the first Pep Comics indication that he powers are not all suit-based but internal but we’ll have to wait for my read of Shield-Wizard some time in early 2025 for the full retcon) is then loaded into a huge mine and dropped off near a shipping lane to be blown to high heaven.

    Here is where other technologically -inclined crooks could learn a couple of lessons from Count Zongarr. Lesson 1: Don’t leave even a weakened and bound enemy somewhere where they have access to wires or other delicate components. Or buttons or switches, for that matter.

    Lesson 2 is a bit specific but I reckon you could extrapolate. If your plan hinges on the use of sound-activated explosives then don’t for example keep them in a room where the sound that activates them can reach them, such as an open radio connection to the outside world. This is where the loosey-goosey Libertarian nature of a lot of super-villain operations comes into play – a proper OSHA audit would have those mines disarmed when not in use and stored in a soundproofed area.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 686: COUNT ZONGARR

    (Pep Comics 003, 1940)

    Someone has been using super-fast jet planes to mine New York Harbor and the Shield wants to know why, and not just because he happened to be on one of the ships that was exploded as a result. He manages to grab onto one of the planes the next time they come around and finds out first hand that they are not only super fast but able to convert into submarines as well. And that their home base is a very cool Art Deco-ish city in an underwater cavern!

    The mastermind of this whole scheme turns out to be Count Zagnarr, exiled munitions manufacturer. Just why he has been exiled (and from where) is left unexplored, nor do we learn why he is believed dead. We do however learn the reason for his mining campaign: he is attempting to draw the US into WWII in the hopes of swooping in and taking over once all sides have sufficiently weakened one another. A classic scheme for a reason, even if we in retrospect can see where it would have had a pretty slim chance of working.

    Despite being plausibly dead, Count Zongarr acquits himself well when confronted with a patriotic superhuman and manages to take the Shield down using a poison gas gun. The weakened Shield (this issue marks the first Pep Comics indication that he powers are not all suit-based but internal but we’ll have to wait for my read of Shield-Wizard some time in early 2025 for the full retcon) is then loaded into a huge mine and dropped off near a shipping lane to be blown to high heaven.

    Here is where other technologically -inclined crooks could learn a couple of lessons from Count Zongarr. Lesson 1: Don’t leave even a weakened and bound enemy somewhere where they have access to wires or other delicate components. Or buttons or switches, for that matter.

    Lesson 2 is a bit specific but I reckon you could extrapolate. If your plan hinges on the use of sound-activated explosives then don’t for example keep them in a room where the sound that activates them can reach them, such as an open radio connection to the outside world. This is where the loosey-goosey Libertarian nature of a lot of super-villain operations comes into play – a proper OSHA audit would have those mines disarmed when not in use and stored in a soundproofed area.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 668: THOTH

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 668: THOTH

    (Jungle Comics 011, 1940)

    We begin with a very comic book (or monster-of-the-week TV show) setup. Camilla notices and comments on the ancient Magician’s Pool and then is almost immediately compelled to enter that same pool and disappear from the realms of man.

    Camilla’s aide/paramour Sir Champion turns to local wizard Warlock (not that Warlock the Wizard, but it is wild that there are two of them) for help and learns that the Magician of Magician’s Pool fame is Thoth, an evil jerk who the people of the Lost Empire tossed through the pool to another dimension hundreds of years earlier. Also, it turns out that the pool links to another dimension on nights of the full moon.

    Meanwhile, Camilla has also learned these things from Thoth himself, who has been spending his time in the unnamed dimension taming weird monsters and is now ready to use them to conquer the Earth. Camilla is of course having none of this but her attempts to prevent it using violence are thwarted as Thoth and all others in his presence are immune to mundane weaponry. On an unrelated note, did I mention that Warlock the wizard gave Sir Champion a magic sword and shield?

    This is a pretty Sir Champion heavy episode overall – he encounters a cute girl who turns out to be a less attractive green assassin and so is okay to slay and then is taken to the home of a cool nude giant dude who I wish we knew more about! As it stands, Sir Champion gets directions and a guide from him and we never see him again.

    Sometimes I get a bit lazy and just do a bullet point summary as my first draft of these entries and what I had here was simply “MAGIC SWORD, ASSHOLE” an I think that stands. Thoth (asshole) gets a magic sword to the heart and ceases to become a threat to the world as a whole and the Lost Empire in particular.

    Camilla and Sir Champion make their way home, accompanied by the giant naked laughing guy’s little beaƒt friend, which would be significant to later plots and stories in a different time, but this is the Golden Age and an extradimensional creature of unknown nature and provenance coming to Earth has no further impact.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 664: THE DEVIL

    (Jungle Comics 007, 1940)

    Camilla, Queen of the Lost Empire, having made the transition from capricious villain to noble hero and staved off a couple of attempts on her throne and her life, is getting ambitious. She is determined to descend into the Cave of Sighs, a local portal to Hell, and banish the Devil from her lands.

    Together with the reformed assassin Caredodo, Camilla passes the Copper Gates of Hell after a brief encounter with one of my favourite things: an anthropomorphic personification! Specifically, they encounter Temptation, who almost ensnares poor Caredodo with her wiles and mug of delicious-looking potion before Camilla sends her packing.

    Also there to greet them is Mephistopheles of Faust fame in a much more charming turn than comic book demons usually get to be, probably as a deliberate contrast to the main attraction, the Devil himself, in a wildly more grotesque form than one usually sees in comics before the late Sixties. Ordinarily, your Devils and Satans are a lot closer to Mephistopheles there than this soggy lump of flesh and even the more monstrous of the bunch are still red humanoids along the lines of MLJ’s Devil.

    The Devil wants Camilla’s help to escape into the world of man and take over the place. Ambitious, sure, but a bit pedestrian for Satan himself. What use is temporal power to the Lord of Hell?

    In a slightly odd turn of events, Camilla defeats the Devil by hewing a cross out of stone and holding him at bay with it. Since Camilla originally worshipped Thor and the other Norse gods and later restored her empire with the aid of the pantheon-unspecified god Bal, I had assumed that the Lost Empire was established some time before the conversion of the Norse to Christianity. I’d be tempted to blame that pill Jon Dale for converting her but she has engaged in some paganism since his departure from the strip, so I am forced to conclude that Camila subscribes to some sort of syncretic faith that incorporates elements of many religions. Fun!

    (This is also the mission that ends with the Angel of Faith rewarding Camilla by transforming Caredodo from a Nottie to the Hottie Sir Champion, in case you were curious about when that happened)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 657: THE SCIENTIST

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 657: THE SCIENTIST

    (Jungle Comics 004, 1940)

    The Scientist (no other name given) is a man with a very comic book plan: develop a serum capable of giving gorillas superhuman intelligence, do so to a population of the particularly huge Gorgon Gorillas, and use the resulting army to conquer the world, presumably after a period of rapid gorilla breeding.

    Though the Scientist is a compelling villain in his own right (he is a world-class asshole, for example, like all the best bad guys), the stars of this adventure are absolutely the Gorgon Gorillas, who for example respond to a gorilla call by marching single-file through the jungle beating their chests until they just kind of topple into a pit trap.

    The post-enhancement gorgons are even better, as they exhibit a range of amazing facial expressions from “benignly intelligent” to “absolutely fucking mental” depending on input from the Scientist.

    As is her prerogative, Fantomah waits to step in to the situation until the crisis point, in this case the Scientist ordering his gorilla army to scour human life from the face to the jungle. Alas, he learns too late that the old adage is true: you live by the army of demonized gorillas, you die by the army of demonized gorillas.