The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: world domination

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 608: KING KELPA

    (Fantastic Comics 005, 1940)

    Sub Saunders needs to investigate a series of sunken ships, so he has his fiance Peg given the same treatment as he got from the great “oceantalogist” Professor Foama so that they are both amphibious and can go on missions together. This is wildly progressive for a Golden (or Silver, or a lot of Bronze) Age comic book hero! They’re usually more likely to toe the “this is too dangerous for a woman” line – it’s probably because Sub Saunders is from the year 10 000.

    Somewhat predictably at this point, the problem stems from an irascible undersea ruler with a vaguely nautical name, in this case one King Kelpa. Unlike the rest of the sub-oceanic peoples from earlier Sub Saunders stories, Kelpa and the inhabitants of his unnamed city are actually amphibious, a huge advantage to people living at the bottom of the ocean! Flush with feelings of superiority, he has decided to invade the surfave world, where his people will have no advantage over regular soldiers. Problem is, he doesn’t actually know anything about the surface world and so has been sinking ships in hopes of getting intel, but up until Sub and Peg showed up all he got was a bunch of drowned sailors. What luck for him to encounter the only two amphibious surface dwellers!

    Only not so much. Sub Saunders defeats Kelpa’s pet swordfish, snaps off its bill and stabs him to death with it, then bombs his city for good measure.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 605: EELO THE FISH MAN

    (Fantastic Comics 005, 1940)

    I guess I have some initial sympathy for Eelo the Fish Man. It can’t be easy being a whatever-he-is in regular human society, let alone a resort island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. He might even be a sympathetic villain if literally his first act wasn’t to kidnap three women as breeding stock for his proposed new amphibian master race.

    Eelo’s plans also confound me: are they long or short term? He gasses on about creating a perfect amphibian race but that’s gotta take at least twenty years (setting aside unpleasant speculations about how one would scale up production in such an endeavour) but meanwhile he’s sinking entire resort islands for his own use. Is he merely counting on surface world society to not look for their island?

    A lot of my confusion about Eelo’s plans stems from the fact that the story never really goes into what exactly he represents. Is he a member of an underwater civilization and his henchmen (somewhat boringly called “the Amphibians” throughout) the same? Then why does he need to kidnap all those wives? Is he a human mutant? Then what are the Amphibians – costumed goons? Mutated goons? If they all stem from the same mutation source then why not just get a bunch of guys and run them through it?

    Regardless of his plans, origin or disposition, Eelo the Fish Man ends up just like so many Samson foes do: dead via the force of a big punch.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 600: KILGOR

    (Fantastic Comics 004, 1940)

    Kilgor is a roboticist with a simple 5-step plan for success and world domination:

    1. develop a giant super-robot on an isolated Pacific island.

    2. ally with generic fascist dictator Rigo in order to acquire the industrial might required to manufacture your robot en mass.

    3. Once Rigo decides that you are surplus to requirements and tries to eliminate you and claim the robot army for himself, turn the tables on him and take the reins of power from his cold dead hands. Kilgor is now the dictator.

    4. March your robot army across Europe in a bloody wave of conquest until they are destroyed by Samson. Hold on, wait.

    5. Get the tar whaled out of both you and your master robot by Samson, then make a minor miscalculation while attempting to rebuild your creation that results in it crushing you to death.

    I feel like this plan needed a failsafe in case of super-heroes.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 594: RIP-THE-BLOOD

    (Fantastic Comics 002, 1940)

    As weird as Fletcher Hanks stories are, sometimes the hardest thing to parse are the seem-like-they-should-mean-something names. Take Rip-the-Blood here: is this just a weird way to present a fellow named Rip with the nickname of “the Blood” or does his name mean something more? Is he so tough he’ll “rip the blood” out of you? I never know with this guy.

    Whatever his name means, Rip-the-Blood is a bad dude: through his influence over US politics and control of the munitions industry he plans to push the world into total war and become the most powerful man alive. 

    EDIT Jan 2026: I just learned about New York underworld figure Harry Horowitz, aka “Gyp the Blood” and can only assume that Rip here is named in reference to him.

    The inciting incident that will start the big war is the kidnapping of FDR by a foreign-looking plane. This is not a bad plan! I have no notes on the big “plunge the world into war” scheme! 

    EXCEPT. Rip-the-Blood knows about Stardust the Super Wizard. He knows what Stardust did to the Spy Army (not covered here but they got messed up) and that he will probably be targeted as well – it should be no surprise to him when FDR is rescued from his kidnappers almost immediately. It shouldn’t, but it really seems to mess up Rip’s whole day/world domination scheme.

    Rip’s big anti-Stardust plan is to use a wind generator to blow him into something called a “glue pit” which I put in quotes only because I don’t know what it actually is – it gets name-checked several times during the course of the story but never actually comes into play. Given Golden Age naming conventions I’m not willing to just assume that it’s a literal pit full of literal glue – it could be anything from that to a cave with a giant slug in it.

    Rip-the-Blood’s associates get off surprisingly lightly for Stardust foes, being sent to some sort of private prison near Polaris, but the man himself is tossed from a cliff to his death. I personally would have involved the much-discussed Glue Pit, but who am I to judge a weird enormous spaceman?

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 593: THE INVINCIBLE FIVE

    (Exciting Comics 006, 1940)

    The Invincible Five (good name!) are a mysterious group of hooded men who have been kidnapping skilled mechanics across the US in order to construct a fleet of vehicles known as Submaplanes.

    If you guessed that a Submaplane was either a submarine capable of flight or and airplane capable of operating underwater then give yourself a pat on the back because it is the former. Submaplanes also have some sort of electric forcefield, an electric ray cannon and appear to be remote controlled from a central location.

    Having seemingly done away with John “Son of the Gods” Thesson, whom they view as their only credible opposition, the Invincible Five proceed with their master plan: world conquest through intimidation and mass destruction. Various governments are given the opportunity to surrender peacefully then given the business when they refuse.

    (side note: these are some good hoods on the Invincible Five. The simple faces sketched on the front are a nice change from all of those regular-style hoods we usually see)

    Unsurprisingly, the leader of the Invincible Five is Burton, the sour-faced industrialist who turns up to advise FDR to surrender. Presumably at least some of his companions are also in on the scheme.

    It turns out that it was a good idea to try to kill John Thesson, because he ends up single-handedly taking down the entire operation by the simple expedient of punching people and things until the Submaplanes are grounded and the Invincible Five are in hand. Remember: if the only thing that stands between you and complete world domination is one person and you’re pretty sure that they’re dead: double check.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 579: COLOSSUS

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 579: COLOSSUS

    (Colossus Comics 001, 1940)

    I included this cover here in order to indulge in a little personal nostalgia but instead I feel like I am going a bit mad. See, I know this cover very well, from somewhere. I thought it was from Jeff Rovin’s Encyclopedia of Supervillains, which I read through about one million times as a youth, but when I decided to check out the entry on Colossus in that book I could not find one. Ditto for the Encyclopedia of Monsters and even the Encyclopedia of Superheroes. As far as I can tell the oldest book I own with this image in it is Jon Morris’ the Legion of Regrettable Supervillains, and that came out when I was 36 years old – will I ever learn where I encountered it as a young skeleton?

    But enough of my memory crisis. The real important thing to note about this cover is that That’s Not What Colossus Looks Like, or at least Dresses Like. Perhaps if this issue weren’t his sole appearance he might have adopted something closer to the… well, I can only really describe it as a metal bondage outfit. The metal bondage outfit that he’s wearing on the cover, then

    Colossus is originally Richard Zenith, a humble lab assistant of the year 2640. He works for scientist Doctor Blitzmann, who is a good enough boss to know that Zenith’s secret wish is to be a burly six-foot tall man like their colleague Bryn Hale (rather than *squints* his current burly five-foot-ten or so) but also a terrible enough boss that he says this in a shitty and humiliating way while injecting Zenith with growth serum.

    Blitzmann’s daughter Eve also works at her father’s lab and it seems like she might not have gotten the job on merit because when she prepared the syringe of Hyper Catalyst VII growth serum for Zenith so that he would stop referring to himself as a “short king” she mixed it roughly 20 000 times stronger than needed. 

    The serum seems to be more than merely biochemical in nature, as Zenith grows to thousands of times his original size without collapsing into a pile of viscera and broken bones. Plus, his clothes grow with him!

    The power inherent in being a big big man immediately goes to Zenith’s head and he declares himself “Colossus, Ruler of All the Earth!” and sets out to extract a surrender from Gregory Graves, head of the Tri-Planetary Federation’s Solar Patrol, by threatening to destroy the Federation capital of Urbania. It’s your classic case of a nerd being given power and immediately turning into a fascist.

    In a fortuitous coincidence Earth’s old enemies, the very cool Plantaliens, are also attempting to conquer the planet at the same time as Colossus and so there is a bit of a turf war that is handily won by the unstoppable 2000 foot tall man. Too bad, Plantaliens! Try again in another 60 years!

    Colossus Comics was reportedly a test by Sun Publications to see if it was worth getting into this crazy new industry, and if that was indeed the case then the answer was “no” because this is the only appearance of Colossus (next month, i.e., never, “Colossus over Europe”!)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 552: BARON VON KAMPF

    (Speed Comics 001, 1939) 

    Baron von Kampf! Major recurring Shock Gibson villain and aspiring world conqueror. He’s exactly the sort of evil, sneering gloating villain that I love to see vex the heroes of yesteryear, and due to the fact that his appearances are concentrated in the early days of the super-hero medium that’s about all the characterization he gets. He wants to rule the world and he’s a dick about it.

    But who needs characterization when you’ve 1. got the appearance of a weird little goblin man and 2. employ the services of what are possibly the greatest henchmen of the Golden Age: the Zombies!

    “This Better Not Awaken Anything In Me”

    According to Baron von Kampf, the Zombies are radio-controlled creatures made out of animal parts. Just why they’re called zombies is a mystery – the idea of the zombie as a resurrected corpse or corpselike drugged (or mystically enthralled) person was very much in the cultural ether in 1939, so who the heck knows?

    Naming conventions aside the Zombies look terrific, particularly in a huge group – they’re like something that Steve Ditko might draw swarming out of a portal to beat up Dr Strange.

    Baron von Kampf’s second appearance in Speed Comics 002 sadly does not involve the Zombies but does feature that old favourite gizmo, the engine killing ray, which von Kampf is employing to bring down airplanes in order to conquer the South American nation of El Matador. 

    The real interesting thing about the Baron in this issue is that he still has on what I previously assumed to be some sort of surgical cap but might just be the top of his head? Like it’s a metal plate or something? Like all aspects of the Baron’s appearance it goes unmentioned in the text so we can only speculate on why exactly he is Like That.

    Baron von Kampf shows up maybe half a dozen times total but the real attraction is the Zombies, who get a bit weirder as time goes on. We”l be seeing them again, I assure you.

    UPDATE: Baron von Kampf 1940

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 552: BARON VON KAMPF

    (Speed Comics 001, 1939) 

    Baron von Kampf! Major recurring Shock Gibson villain and aspiring world conqueror. He’s exactly the sort of evil, sneering gloating villain that I love to see vex the heroes of yesteryear, and due to the fact that his appearances are concentrated in the early days of the super-hero medium that’s about all the characterization he gets. He wants to rule the world and he’s a dick about it.

    But who needs characterization when you’ve 1. got the appearance of a weird little goblin man and 2. employ the services of what are possibly the greatest henchmen of the Golden Age: the Zombies!

    “This Better Not Awaken Anything In Me”

    According to Baron von Kampf, the Zombies are radio-controlled creatures made out of animal parts. Just why they’re called zombies is a mystery – the idea of the zombie as a resurrected corpse or corpselike drugged (or mystically enthralled) person was very much in the cultural ether in 1939, so who the heck knows?

    Naming conventions aside the Zombies look terrific, particularly in a huge group – they’re like something that Steve Ditko might draw swarming out of a portal to beat up Dr Strange.

    Baron von Kampf’s second appearance in Speed Comics 002 sadly does not involve the Zombies but does feature that old favourite gizmo, the engine killing ray, which von Kampf is employing to bring down airplanes in order to conquer the South American nation of El Matador. 

    The real interesting thing about the Baron in this issue is that he still has on what I previously assumed to be some sort of surgical cap but might just be the top of his head? Like it’s a metal plate or something? Like all aspects of the Baron’s appearance it goes unmentioned in the text so we can only speculate on why exactly he is Like That.

    Baron von Kampf shows up maybe half a dozen times total but the real attraction is the Zombies, who get a bit weirder as time goes on. We”l be seeing them again, I assure you.

    UPDATE: Baron von Kampf 1940

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 526: THE DICTATOR

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 526: THE DICTATOR

    (Blue Ribbon Comics 013, 1941)

    I had two surprises coming to me when I read the first appearance of this fellow: 1) though there are a fair few Golden and Silver Age comics that posit some sort of supernatural element to the evils of the Axis power – deals with the Devil, influence by one or another god of war, etc – but this is the earliest example I’ve seen of one of their leaders actually being a supernatural evil.

    If I had previously said that the Dictator’s Shadow was about as close as you could get to someone being a Nazi without actually dipping over the line and just saying it, this comic has somehow elasticized the line and dragged it way over to the other side. The Dictator is Hitler in all but name, and they don’t even go to the trouble of replacing the swastika with another symbol or making up new names for the countries he invades. There are such a small number of changes, in fact, that I will list them now: Germany is referred to as Mitteleuropa (which is a term for Central Europe fairly closely associated with the German imperialism of both World Wars), the Bavarian Alps are instead the Vabarian Alps, and Goebbels is instead called Deenbee (a maddening name because it feels like I should be able to work out a meaning behind it).

    (later there are look-alike analogs of a lot of top Nazis, seen here)

    Mr Justice demonstrates the even-handed political neutrality that comics of the past were always known for and bursts into a staff meeting to give Hitler the Dictator “the most vicious beating a man ever experienced”, as you do.

    Again, this is all politically neutral stuff.

    This conflict continues for a few issues: first, the Dictator arms his nameless Himmler-analog with an anti-ghost potion and sets him the task of killing Mr Justice. This ends in not-Himmler’s  death but also in an important realization for Mr Justice: that the Dictator wields only temporal power in the world, that he can only act through agents. Accordingly, the net two Mr Justice stories concern him killing off analogs of Goering, Goebbels and von Ribbentrop t erode the Dictator’s power base.

    And that’s where it ends, kind of. After Mr Justice strikes, the Dictator returns fire by sending future entry the Green Ghoul to attack America. It take three issues to deal with that guy, and by the next time he shows up the Dictator is just the Devil again – whether or not he is still cosplaying as Hitler is not addressed. I guess that this is going to continue to be a thing when the villain in question is a cosmically evil being, right? They just pack up and go home at the end? A bit unsatisfying from a narrative perspective.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 505: MARTO

    (Blue Bolt v1 006, 1940) 

    Blue Bolt is a fine comic book character in the classic setting of a vast underground world full of sci-fi/fantasy concepts but 100% the best thing about him is that 10 or so of his first dozen appearances were by Jack Kirby and Joe Simon and boy does Marto here show it. Just look at this classic Kirby creation!

    Marto was originally Martin Hall, a scientist who accidentally bombarded himself with the very cosmic rays he had been studying and found himself mutated into your prototypical future human: big brain, tiny shrivelled body and compulsion to change his name to something short that sounds like an Australian gave him a nickname. 

    “Martin Hall” doesn’t sound like a Voltoran name to me (they trend more to things like Count Gorth, Major Kadronin and Captain Drogar), so Marto presumably made his way to the Green Sorceress’ underground kingdom from the surface in his little chair-bot.

    Marto’s initial offer is to help the Green Sorceress in her quest to conquer the underground world but he pretty swiftly reveals that he is a little incel creep and his real plan is to either stick his head on Blue Bolt’s body or to merely transfer his mind into Blue Bolt’s head. Either way, his next step is to mate with a mind-controlled Green Sorceress, create a super-race and subjugate the world (and the way that he says this makes it clear that he is racist against everyone). 100% creep, in other words.

    Luckily for literally everyone, Marto failed to factor “armed resistance” into his plans and he is crushed by rubble during an attack by Doctor Bertoff’s air force.