The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: Simba

  • CATALOGUE OF WOUNDS 012

    If I keep at this long enough then we will find the super-hero with the most comically-long list of wounds sustained in the course of their adventures. Currently in the lead: the Green Mask! Unless we’re talking about head traumas, in which case I must direct your gaze to the Blue Beetle.

    Domino the Miracle Boy:

    Shot in the right shoulder by Dr Moru while heroically leaping in front of a gun to save the Green Mask. (Mystery Men Comics 029, 1941)

    the Green Mask:

    Slashed on the left side of his head by the Manx’s weird wrist-claw. (Mystery Men Comics 026, 1941)

    Mr Justice:

    Mr Justice is a ghost-type super-hero, so his origin involves a gruesome death, in this case being hacked to pieces by some historically-questionable Englishmen. (Blue Ribbon Comics 009, 1941)

    It’s not quite as universal a trait, but Mr Justice also maintains a human form for times when he is not engaging in super-heroics, and since he’s already dead it doesn’t matter how often he sustains mortal wounds, such as this instance of him being riddled with bullets. (Blue Ribbon Comics 009, 1941)

    Or here, when he is fatally blasted by a beam. (Blue Ribbon Comics 010, 1941)

    (and again a few minutes later)

    Or just plain shot in the head. It’s just a shortcut to the emergence of Mr Justice from his mortal shell. (Jackpot Comics 002, 1941) 

    Sergeant Spook: 

    And speaking of ghostly super-heroes and their fatal origins, here’s Sergeant Spook blowing himself up with his poor lab safety. (Blue Bolt v1 001, 1940)

    Simba:

    Simba, newly-reformed nemesis of Dick Cole, gets his skull creased with a bullet by Dr Karno (Blue Bolt v2 006, 1941)

    Sub-Zero:

    Sub-Zero also gets his skull creased, but since he’s so cold he’s bulletproof Professor X has to use a white-hot bullet to do it. (Blue Bolt Comics v1 005, 1940)

    the Wraith: 

    Finally we have the Wraith, who becomes a ghost thanks to being riddled with bullets during a drive-by.  (Mystery Men Comics 027, 1941)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 513: DOKTOR KARNO AND SIMBA

    (Blue Bolt v2 001, 1941)

    Twelve issues into the story of Dick Cole, Wonder-Boy, a wrinkle is introduced: another Wonder-Boy! And rather than the usual thing where an evil lab assistant etc. steals Professor Blair’s research for his own use, this story introduces the concept of the double-thought wave. This is a theory that all the times in history that two people have had the same idea at the same time are not as a result of coincidence but rather some sort of psychic connection and thus when Professor Blair had his idea to raise a perfect boy the villainous Doktor Karno in Vienna had it too, and while Blair raises Dick to be a paragon of virtue, Karno is raising his Wonder-Boy Simba to be the perfect criminal.

    This would be a parable of nurture over nature if Simba wasn’t also specified to be the orphan child of two convicted murderers by the very chatty nun that Karno gets him from. As it stands we have two Wonder-Boys, ignorant of one another, one min/maxed for physical prowess and one with a more morality-heavy build.

    Eventually, Karno and Simba hit the Big Apple and are immediately made aware of Dick’s exploits. Simba has an immediate hatred for Dick so they hit upon the idea of doing some robberies while dressed as him – frame your rival/ make a few bucks at the same time!

    The first hint of a rift in the Doktor Karno/ Simba team come when Simba is so taken with Dick Cole’s military school uniform that he insists on joining the school himself.

    Meanwhile, Dick is subjected to torture by the local idiot cops until they bother to check his alibi and learn that it is watertight. His initial effort having failed, Simba settles in at Farr Military Academy in what amounts to a bully role with occasional forays into crime with Doktor Karno. In both capacities he regularly gets beaten up by Dick Cole.

    Eventually, one of those beatings must have knocked something loose, because Simba realizes that what he really wants is not to destroy Dick Cole but befriend him. 

    To that end, Simba tries to reform but Karno blackmails him into one last job, with the clear implication that this will continue ad nauseam. Simba confesses to Dick who helps him go straight – he’s put on probation in the school’s care and Karno is arrested. A happy ending for all!

    BUT HOLD ON KARNO GETS OUT and uses brain surgery to return Simba to his former amoral state!

    Simba is almost doomed to be Karno’s criminal tool forever but lucky for him Dick gets word, stops him from stealing a mess of radium and forces Karno reverse the operation. Karno is sent packing and the next time he’s heard from it’s because he’s died. Finally a happy ending for everyone! Except Doktor Karno!

    Going forward in the Dick Cole strip, Simba is just part of the gang – I just checked and he’s in Blue Bolt v10 002, the final issue of the series. Just a second super-powered boy palling around with the first one, though given Novelty Press’ commitment to removing all elements of unreality from their comics Simba is eventually just a regular guy with a very weird backstory. Still, it’s all very wholesome, although my Been On the Internet Too Much sense tells me that if it were a thing today I’ll bet the shippers would have their filthy mitts all over its unintentional homoeroticism.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 513: DOKTOR KARNO AND SIMBA

    (Blue Bolt v2 001, 1941)

    Twelve issues into the story of Dick Cole, Wonder-Boy, a wrinkle is introduced: another Wonder-Boy! And rather than the usual thing where an evil lab assistant etc. steals Professor Blair’s research for his own use, this story introduces the concept of the double-thought wave. This is a theory that all the times in history that two people have had the same idea at the same time are not as a result of coincidence but rather some sort of psychic connection and thus when Professor Blair had his idea to raise a perfect boy the villainous Doktor Karno in Vienna had it too, and while Blair raises Dick to be a paragon of virtue, Karno is raising his Wonder-Boy Simba to be the perfect criminal.

    This would be a parable of nurture over nature if Simba wasn’t also specified to be the orphan child of two convicted murderers by the very chatty nun that Karno gets him from. As it stands we have two Wonder-Boys, ignorant of one another, one min/maxed for physical prowess and one with a more morality-heavy build.

    Eventually, Karno and Simba hit the Big Apple and are immediately made aware of Dick’s exploits. Simba has an immediate hatred for Dick so they hit upon the idea of doing some robberies while dressed as him – frame your rival/ make a few bucks at the same time!

    The first hint of a rift in the Doktor Karno/ Simba team come when Simba is so taken with Dick Cole’s military school uniform that he insists on joining the school himself.

    Meanwhile, Dick is subjected to torture by the local idiot cops until they bother to check his alibi and learn that it is watertight. His initial effort having failed, Simba settles in at Farr Military Academy in what amounts to a bully role with occasional forays into crime with Doktor Karno. In both capacities he regularly gets beaten up by Dick Cole.

    Eventually, one of those beatings must have knocked something loose, because Simba realizes that what he really wants is not to destroy Dick Cole but befriend him. 

    To that end, Simba tries to reform but Karno blackmails him into one last job, with the clear implication that this will continue ad nauseam. Simba confesses to Dick who helps him go straight – he’s put on probation in the school’s care and Karno is arrested. A happy ending for all!

    BUT HOLD ON KARNO GETS OUT and uses brain surgery to return Simba to his former amoral state!

    Simba is almost doomed to be Karno’s criminal tool forever but lucky for him Dick gets word, stops him from stealing a mess of radium and forces Karno reverse the operation. Karno is sent packing and the next time he’s heard from it’s because he’s died. Finally a happy ending for everyone! Except Doktor Karno!

    Going forward in the Dick Cole strip, Simba is just part of the gang – I just checked and he’s in Blue Bolt v10 002, the final issue of the series. Just a second super-powered boy palling around with the first one, though given Novelty Press’ commitment to removing all elements of unreality from their comics Simba is eventually just a regular guy with a very weird backstory. Still, it’s all very wholesome, although my Been On the Internet Too Much sense tells me that if it were a thing today I’ll bet the shippers would have their filthy mitts all over its unintentional homoeroticism.