The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: Breeze Barton

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 040

    Weird humanoids as far as the eye can see!

    Demon People: 

    The Demon People are seemingly native to the dimension that Breeze Barton travels to in his first adventure and are in conflict with Miracle City and its population of immortals. Even though their major goal is to get through the dimensional aperture and invade Earth, I would have a lot more sympathy toward them (eternal neighbours really must be the greatest test a people could have, after all) if they weren’t also huge slavers. I do really like the one big wing/fin that they have on their back, even if I can’t figure out what it could be for. (Daring Mystery Comics 003, 1940)

    Jupiterians:

    The Jupiterians, or more specifically the South Jupiterians, are a peaceful, swamp-dwelling people who want to live somewhere other than a swamp and have thus decided to enter into a colonial relationship with Earth. And it works! Against all historical precedent, the South Jupiterians are soon the proud owners of a new city called New Washington! No strings attached!

    The real threat to South Jupiterian sovereignty comes in the form of a diplomatic envoy of lop-eared North Jupiterians under the command of Princess Eelo (whose own long ears are presumably concealed under that kicky headscarf). They represent the bad kind of colonialism, in contrast to the warm fuzzy colonialism of Earth under Captain Nelson Cole, and it takes a plague scare and the complete destruction of New Washington to shift them. Back to work, South Jupiterians! (Planet Comics 009, 1940)

    Link People:

    Comics and other genre fiction are of course chock full of speculative missing links, but the key thing about the missing link concept is that it represents the bridge between ape and human. The idea that the missing link is instead some sort of humanoid reptile that just kind of ignores the existence of mammalian evolution and instead posits (I think) a chain of reptile -> reptile-man -> ape -> human is very weird!

    This being a comic book, such a wild speculation by a collection of white-haired scientists is of course 100% accurate, down to the location and architectural style of the Link Person community. Among other things, this means that the Descent of Man image is going to have to be heavily revised, and also that diver Kinks Mason is immediately sent in to bother this untouched society.

    Fearing that a mere photograph will not be believed, the scientists opt to kidnap one of the Link People, thus completing their introduction to humanity via a whirlwind of violence, death and loss (okay, they do try to sacrifice some of the scientists to their gods, but I think that they might have been justified). (Fight Comics 005, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 040

    Weird humanoids as far as the eye can see!

    Demon People: 

    The Demon People are seemingly native to the dimension that Breeze Barton travels to in his first adventure and are in conflict with Miracle City and its population of immortals. Even though their major goal is to get through the dimensional aperture and invade Earth, I would have a lot more sympathy toward them (eternal neighbours really must be the greatest test a people could have, after all) if they weren’t also huge slavers. I do really like the one big wing/fin that they have on their back, even if I can’t figure out what it could be for. (Daring Mystery Comics 003, 1940)

    Jupiterians:

    The Jupiterians, or more specifically the South Jupiterians, are a peaceful, swamp-dwelling people who want to live somewhere other than a swamp and have thus decided to enter into a colonial relationship with Earth. And it works! Against all historical precedent, the South Jupiterians are soon the proud owners of a new city called New Washington! No strings attached!

    The real threat to South Jupiterian sovereignty comes in the form of a diplomatic envoy of lop-eared North Jupiterians under the command of Princess Eelo (whose own long ears are presumably concealed under that kicky headscarf). They represent the bad kind of colonialism, in contrast to the warm fuzzy colonialism of Earth under Captain Nelson Cole, and it takes a plague scare and the complete destruction of New Washington to shift them. Back to work, South Jupiterians! (Planet Comics 009, 1940)

    Link People:

    Comics and other genre fiction are of course chock full of speculative missing links, but the key thing about the missing link concept is that it represents the bridge between ape and human. The idea that the missing link is instead some sort of humanoid reptile that just kind of ignores the existence of mammalian evolution and instead posits (I think) a chain of reptile -> reptile-man -> ape -> human is very weird!

    This being a comic book, such a wild speculation by a collection of white-haired scientists is of course 100% accurate, down to the location and architectural style of the Link Person community. Among other things, this means that the Descent of Man image is going to have to be heavily revised, and also that diver Kinks Mason is immediately sent in to bother this untouched society.

    Fearing that a mere photograph will not be believed, the scientists opt to kidnap one of the Link People, thus completing their introduction to humanity via a whirlwind of violence, death and loss (okay, they do try to sacrifice some of the scientists to their gods, but I think that they might have been justified). (Fight Comics 005, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-HERO ROUND-UP 086

    In contrast to the last group of minor super-heroes, 3/4 of these guys have a teeny-tiny chance of appearing in a modern comic. Like, 5% more.

    Mister E: 

    Mister E, aka “wealthy sportsman Victor Jay,” is a masked vigilante of the suit-and-cape type, and is remarkable mainly for the fact that Marvel Comics doesn’t really have that many of those kind of guy. In his one recorded adventure he battles the very entertaining Vampire to a stalemate. After this singular adventure, Mr E is not seen again until J. Michael Straczynski’s The Twelve, in which he mainly exists to be emotionally crushed as an object lesson in how being a super-hero can have an impact on your real life, you guys. (Daring Mystery Comics 002, 1941)

    Categorized in: Alphanumeric (E)*, Day Jobs (Wealthy Socialites), Generica (Misters)

    *we’re up to 12 out of 26 letters! 

    the Laughing Mask:

    Dennis Burton, assistant district attorney and latest in a long line of Burton lawmen, is also one of the many, many comic book law officers who adopt a costumed identity in order to enact justice via fist and gun. Burton’s real spin on the concept of vigilantism is in his choice of costume: a simple red-and-yellow number topped off with a theatrical comedy mask. Eerie! 

    The Laughing Mask is a calling card leaver of the ominous school, and while this is not exactly groundbreaking stuff I do enjoy seeing how he sets it all up. Someone like the Blue Beetle must be doing all this creeping around in crawlspaces to achieve this kind of effect too, but we never get to see it. (Daring Mystery Comics 002, 1940)

    Categorized in: Accessories (Calling Card Leavers), Activities (Laughing), Day Jobs (Assistant District Attorneys) 

    the Purple Mask:

    Nothing gold can stay, as Ponyboy, or possibly Sodapop, said, and quirky Golden Age super-heroes are no exception. For the second and third of his three appearances, Dennis Burton sets aside his golden mask to adopt a far more generic costume. At least it’s a new mask colour for us. (Daring Mystery Comics 003, 1940)

    Categorized in: Colours (Purple), Objects (Masks) 

    Breeze Barton:

    Breeze Barton is more of a science fiction adventurer than a super-hero, but the particulars of his story are weird enough that I want to talk about them. Breeze is a US soldier fighting in World War II, only not our World War II but a near future version of the war (1945 CE) in which American and Japanese forces are clashing in South Africa and the US Army Air Force has instituted a furry-shouldered look in their pilots’ uniforms. Shot down while on a scouting flight, Breeze crashes his plane in the Sahara Desert (a truly staggering distance to travel between being shot down and crashing – the entire length of Africa, essentially!). 

    While wandering around the desert, Breeze then falls through a dimensional portal called the Spot and finds himself in Miracle City, which is populated by people from across the breadth of human history who have fallen through the Spot and who now do not age thanks to the properties of the Spot Dimension. There are also dinosaurs running around, plus the hostile Demon Folk, who are native to the dimension and who want to invade the Earth for some reason. To finally know death, I guess? 

    Breeze eventually figures out the trick to going back through the Spot and returns to Earth to find that it is now 1995 and that the war has been going on for the entire 50 years that he was away. Thanks to the relentless grind of the war humanity has reverted to a state ranging between medieval and stone age. The exception to this is a small remnant of the military forces, who have now banded together as the last bastion of civilization. This is all very interesting, especially if you consider the intermediate period in which society is starting to stagnate but the military is still organized and powerful enough to maintain the former state of things within its ranks. Now, as the military forces finally start to fall, Breeze Barton emerges to rally them and rebuild a non-war-based society.

    In conclusion, Breeze Barton is a fellow from a near-future alternate history and then a moderate-future alternate history (but both in the past as far as we’re concerned) with a bit of dimensional travel in between. Also he is eventually and inexplicably brought back to die in a 2012 Marvel Zombies book. (Daring Mystery Comics 003, 1940)

    Categorized in: Day Jobs (Military), Origin (Heroes of the Future)

    the Phantom Reporter:

    The Phantom Reporter is actually Dick Jones, smart alec cub reporter for the Daily Express, and like his fellow news-themed super-hero the Press Guardian I really must stress that making such a clear link between your secret and public identities is a bad idea in the long run. Why, if Clark Kent had chosen “Super-Reporter” as his nom de geurre, Lois Lane would’ve been on him like a hawk.

    There are no shortage of suit-wearing mystery men in comics (though as mentioned in the Mister E entry, not so many in Marvel Comics) and they all trend toward the mildly superhuman in their physical prowess. The Phantom Reporter goes a bit farther than that, with a punch so powerful that he straight-up kills his first three opponents with his bare mitts. There was only the one Golden Age adventure for the Reporter, so we cannot say if this trend would have continued or not but it definitely would have set him apart from the regular vigilante crowd.

    Dick “the Phantom Reporter” Jones is of course eventually brought back in The Twelve just like Mr E and the Laughing Mask, in his case as the audience surrogate. One thing that falls by the wayside in the course of this is the fact that newspaper reporter Dick “the Phantom Reporter” Jones is also a wealthy socialite named Mr van Ergen, with the implication being that van Ergen is the real, original guy and that Jones and the Reporter are both alternate identities. Interesting, but not particularly conducive to being an everyman character. (Daring Mystery Comics 003, 1940)

    Categorized in: Day Jobs (Newspaper Reporters), Professions (Journalism), Supranormal (Phantoms)