The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: minor super-villain

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 859: TOKO THE TERRIBLE

    (Whirlwind Comics 001, 1940)

    In the far future of 1980 CE, Earth is under threat of conquest from space. A mysterious ray has dissolved the nation of Slovania, and now a being called Toko the Terrible, Emperor of Saturn has issued an ultimatum: surrender to him or the entire Earth will suffer the same fate.

    This of course will not stand, and Earth sends their best guy (Bruce Barlow), to deal with the threat of Toko.

    Barlow, being a man of action, immediately attacks Toko and calls him insane, getting himself thrown into the very cool-sounding Prison of Invisible Bars for his trouble. This proves not to be a terrible, species-ending blunder by a real meathead as it might have originally appeared but instead a masterstroke of strategy, as while stewing behind (invisible) bars, he meets Professor Jenkins, first human on Saturn and the original inventor of the Ultra-Dissolvo-Raygun, bane of Slovania. Together, they bust Bruce out of jail, prevent the dissolving of Earth and turn the ray on Toko himself, which has the knockon effect of freeing the citizens of Saturn from his vile influence. Plus he had already conquered the rest of the Solar System, so they all get freed too!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 858: THE FROST

    (Wham Comics 002, 1940)

    Just after Blue Fire gets his powers and vows to use them to beat up “criminals, racketeers and foreign spies” he is served a chance to do so on a silver platter when his local newspaper carries an account of a ship at sea being sabotaged by a very cold man who just stood around in the engine room until everything broke. 

    Making his way to the ship in question, Blue Fire uses his intangibility power to invade the passengers’ privacy by searching every stateroom until he finds some orders written in “a foreign language” that prove the saboteur’s identity, just in time for the man himself to make an appearance. One hastily-gulped-down pill later, the man is revealed to be the Frost, which is a very good name for a cold guy. More importantly, the Frost might just be the best look for a cold-based character that I have ever seen – the heavy shading combined with the thick coat of clear ice is dynamite.

    Since Blue Fire is not actually a fire guy but an intangibility guy, he and the Frost are purely thematic and not elemental opposites, and it in fact turns out that thanks to the always-on nature of Blue Fire’s powers they are hilariously unable to do any harm to one another (though thanks to the Frost’s motor mouth we do learn his precise weight, a bit of a rare occurrence in the days before the likes of the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe). 

    Blue Fire ends up retreating after the fight drags on long enough that he is at risk of becoming tangible again, and the Frost is able to make a getaway while his foe is rounding up the ship’s crew to deal with him. And since Blue Fire never makes another appearance, the Frost is yet another super-crook left at large by default. Damn you, whims of the early comics industry!

    (someone should absolutely steal the Frost’s look for another cold cguy. It’s dynamite, I tell you!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 857: THE KING

    (Wham Comics 001, 1940)

    In what is sadly the final appearance of Speed Centaur, he and his pal “Reel” McCoy travel to the Arctic ruins of the City of Centaurs to explore Speed’s birthplace. Almost immediately upon setting foot inside, they are ambushed and captured by wild-eyed men who escort them to their leader, a man called the King, who unusually has gone with an eccentric hair choice in every available part of his face but the mustache zone, and is also some sort of insane tyrant.

    The King decrees that Speed Centaur must provide entertainment to the assembled inhabitants of the city via gladiatorial combat with three polar bears, a challenge that the super-powered centaur rises to with ease. The next trial that the King decrees is a kind of extended electrical torture that is designed to go on until it kills Speed, only he chooses to take the other way out: beating the daylights out of everyone within reach. 

    It turns out that the King and his men were the survivors of a lost Arctic expedition who were in the grips of some kind of extended group blizzard madness and that getting their asses kicked by a centaur was just what they needed to break them out of it. The King turns out to be Professor Dillon, the leader of the expedition, and denies all knowledge of what has been happening in Centaur City for the last five years. I suppose you have to take him at his word, though I personally wouldn’t put him in a position of authority again. It’s like learning that someone is a mean drunk, you know? 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 857: THE KING

    (Wham Comics 001, 1940)

    In what is sadly the final appearance of Speed Centaur, he and his pal “Reel” McCoy travel to the Arctic ruins of the City of Centaurs to explore Speed’s birthplace. Almost immediately upon setting foot inside, they are ambushed and captured by wild-eyed men who escort them to their leader, a man called the King, who unusually has gone with an eccentric hair choice in every available part of his face but the mustache zone, and is also some sort of insane tyrant.

    The King decrees that Speed Centaur must provide entertainment to the assembled inhabitants of the city via gladiatorial combat with three polar bears, a challenge that the super-powered centaur rises to with ease. The next trial that the King decrees is a kind of extended electrical torture that is designed to go on until it kills Speed, only he chooses to take the other way out: beating the daylights out of everyone within reach. 

    It turns out that the King and his men were the survivors of a lost Arctic expedition who were in the grips of some kind of extended group blizzard madness and that getting their asses kicked by a centaur was just what they needed to break them out of it. The King turns out to be Professor Dillon, the leader of the expedition, and denies all knowledge of what has been happening in Centaur City for the last five years. I suppose you have to take him at his word, though I personally wouldn’t put him in a position of authority again. It’s like learning that someone is a mean drunk, you know? 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 856: THE PANTHER

    (Famous Funnies 067, 1940)

    The Panther is a no-nonsense Western gang boss who actually avoids a lot of the common missteps of the average super-villain by running an extremely tight ship in her munitions-smuggling gang. Is maintaining workplace discipline with a bullwhip the best idea? No, but it is better than workplace explosions.

    The Panther’s downfall starts when she puts a little two much trust in her lieutenants, Luis and Ramon, and they immediately go out and do some unsanctioned train robbing. Trouble is, the robbery was somehow pinned on Lone Rider, who ends up escaping the law and stumbling around in the desert until he passes out on the Panther’s front door. It’s hardly the most efficient way to infiltrate a gang, but it works.

    The Lone Rider (going by the name Lightnin’, which is his horse’s name) proves his worthiness to join the gang by beating all of the Panther’s specialists: he out-shoots Tex the gunhawk and out-fights Santos the strong man and then as a bonus because Santos is a poor loser the Panther gets to show off the fact that she can pick a knife out of the air with her whip.

    Luis and Ramon eventually decide that they could do a better job at running the gang than the Panther (despite all evidence to the contrary) and rally the rest of the men to join them. The Panther proves them all wrong of course, when she deploys the knockout gas system that she had put in place outside of her fortified chambers for this very reason. The only unexpected variable turns out to be Lightnin’, who reveals himself to be the Lone Rider and turns her over to the authorities.

    Ultimately the Panther doesn’t really get enough room to shine – she has sick whip skills, a pet panther, special lieutenants, a secret mountain base and good (criminal) business acumen – the conflict with Luis and Ramon is over expanding their purview to include kidnapping, and she is right to tell them no! They’re running a clandestine smuggling operation, while kidnapping is by its very nature a very attention-getting crime! It’s a hard life out there for a competent villain.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 855: GORE

    (Weird Comics 009, 1940)

    Gore, a mad scientist, has just escaped from an unspecified facility in an unnamed city in whatever part of Africa that Marga the Panther Woman hangs out, and while I appreciate how he looks like a little scamp while he’s stealing an airplane from Marga’s pal Ted, this young fellow would be heading straight to the next Mad and Criminal Scientist Round-Up if not for two fun things that he does and that I want to highlight:

    1. while siccing a gorilla on Marga isn’t the most original thing a villain has ever done I appreciate both that he has trained apes littering the jungle around his compound and that the ever-resourceful Marga just goes ahead and tears out its throat with her teeth.

    2. And speaking of jungle compounds, Gore has one and it’s surrounded by an acid moat, and unlike a lot of other acid moats out there this one actually sees some use, as Gore uses it to gruesomely dispose of his assistant Travers. 

    Gore’s real goal in escaping was to take revenge on that unnamed city for having the gall to lock him up. It’s no acid moat, but his long-range water evaporation ray is pretty fun, and stealing the city reservoir is a both more restrained and effective a way to harm a city than many we’ve seen.

    Acid, gorillas and ray cannons or not, Gore is still a weedy little nerd, and there’s only so long that he can get away with not being beat senseless by Marga the Panther Woman and shipped back to the Unnamed City Insane Asylum. 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 855: GORE

    (Weird Comics 009, 1940)

    Gore, a mad scientist, has just escaped from an unspecified facility in an unnamed city in whatever part of Africa that Marga the Panther Woman hangs out, and while I appreciate how he looks like a little scamp while he’s stealing an airplane from Marga’s pal Ted, this young fellow would be heading straight to the next Mad and Criminal Scientist Round-Up if not for two fun things that he does and that I want to highlight:

    1. while siccing a gorilla on Marga isn’t the most original thing a villain has ever done I appreciate both that he has trained apes littering the jungle around his compound and that the ever-resourceful Marga just goes ahead and tears out its throat with her teeth.

    2. And speaking of jungle compounds, Gore has one and it’s surrounded by an acid moat, and unlike a lot of other acid moats out there this one actually sees some use, as Gore uses it to gruesomely dispose of his assistant Travers. 

    Gore’s real goal in escaping was to take revenge on that unnamed city for having the gall to lock him up. It’s no acid moat, but his long-range water evaporation ray is pretty fun, and stealing the city reservoir is a both more restrained and effective a way to harm a city than many we’ve seen.

    Acid, gorillas and ray cannons or not, Gore is still a weedy little nerd, and there’s only so long that he can get away with not being beat senseless by Marga the Panther Woman and shipped back to the Unnamed City Insane Asylum. 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 854: THE BEAST

    (Weird Comics 009, 1940)

    The Beast is the Eagle’s first and perhaps only recurring foe, and it’s unfortunate that he makes his first appearance at the very end of the 1940 run of Weird Comics because I really want to highlight the similarities between the Beast and his fellow Luis Cazaneuve creation the Rook, but danged if I have enough material for a real compare-and contrast on them yet. For now, we’ll just hit the obvious, such as the fact that they look very similar, right down to their staring eyes. Not the hair, though.

    The Beast’s focus in this story is on stealing a treasure map that just happens to be concealed in an ornamental box owned by Bill “the Eagle” Powers, which is as easy a way to involve the hero in the story as comics has come up with. His criminal tools of choice in this endeavour are a fairly gnarly clawed prosthetic hand from which he presumably derives his name and a poisoned blowgun which I am very interested to see if he keeps on using.

    The second point of comparison between the Rook and the Beast is the fact that they both have a criminal antagonist, in this case a gang boss known as the Gimp, who the Beast hires to retrieve the box initially and then double crosses once it’s time to pay for his services. The Gimp really comes into his own in 1941, when he starts using his signature weapon, an artificial leg with a knife on the end. For now we must simply assume that he’s kicking the Beast with a wooden foot.

    I’m calling this one based on very little evidence, but I reckon that the third commonality between the Rook and the Beast is going to be Seemingly Dying at the End of Each Adventure, based on the fact that the Beast does just that at the end of this one. See you next year, Beast!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 853: GOBI, SUPER-WIZARD OF THE DESERT

    (Weird Comics 009, 1940)

    The Sorceress of Zoom is enjoying herself by tormenting people in the desert one day when she is suddenly confronted and challenged for possession of her victims by Gobi, Super-Wizard of the Desert! Is he some sort of heroic magic-user looking to free the people from their torturous servitude? Of course not! He’s looking for food for his pet vultures! 

    (aside: the Sorceress of Zoom is never the good guy in these situations, but this might be the one in which she is the most the bad guy. Sure, Gobi wants to feed the people to his critters, but here’s a list of just what the SoZ gets up to in the first few pages of this comic:

    -harness a bunch of guys to a platfrom (definitely not a sled) covered in treasure and force them to haul it through the desert while whipping them

    -when they complain about being thirsty, create an illusory oasis to tempt them into greater effort

    -once they realize the trick, abandon them in the desert to die

    -ambush and enslave a caravan to replace the first bunch of guys

    -petrify most of those who fight back and leave others trapped in a circle of eternal flame

    -make the rest haul that platform through the desert and when someone complains of thirst, turn him into a skeleton

    -force another complainer to climb a ladder to nowhere, while whipping him

    -turn everyone else into camel centaurs

    It’s all a bit much) 

    (2nd aside: though Gobi is of course named after the famous Asian desert, I’m pretty sure that this comic takes place somewhere in North Africa) 

    Gobi manages to get the upper hand early on with a surprise shrink spell, but just before his vultures start to chow down she reappears at full size and max strength to initiate an old-fashioned  magical duel.

    As always, there is a best part to any such duel, and in this case it is when Gobi completely dissolves the Sorceress of Zoom with magical acid. This of course does not kill her, but does leave her as a disembodied spirit for a while.

    As usual, the duel eventually turns into something closer to a child’s game in which the Sorceress merely goes “nuh-uh” in response to every attack by Gobi. This supports my theory that all of this is in aid of alleviating her boredom. Was she tormenting those guys in an area that Gobi was known to haunt in order to pick a fight? It’s entirely possible! All good things must come to an end, however, and once the Super-Wizard of the Desert ceases to entertain he is unceremoniously transformed into a desert spring.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 853: GOBI, SUPER-WIZARD OF THE DESERT

    (Weird Comics 009, 1940)

    The Sorceress of Zoom is enjoying herself by tormenting people in the desert one day when she is suddenly confronted and challenged for possession of her victims by Gobi, Super-Wizard of the Desert! Is he some sort of heroic magic-user looking to free the people from their torturous servitude? Of course not! He’s looking for food for his pet vultures! 

    (aside: the Sorceress of Zoom is never the good guy in these situations, but this might be the one in which she is the most the bad guy. Sure, Gobi wants to feed the people to his critters, but here’s a list of just what the SoZ gets up to in the first few pages of this comic:

    -harness a bunch of guys to a platfrom (definitely not a sled) covered in treasure and force them to haul it through the desert while whipping them

    -when they complain about being thirsty, create an illusory oasis to tempt them into greater effort

    -once they realize the trick, abandon them in the desert to die

    -ambush and enslave a caravan to replace the first bunch of guys

    -petrify most of those who fight back and leave others trapped in a circle of eternal flame

    -make the rest haul that platform through the desert and when someone complains of thirst, turn him into a skeleton

    -force another complainer to climb a ladder to nowhere, while whipping him

    -turn everyone else into camel centaurs

    It’s all a bit much) 

    (2nd aside: though Gobi is of course named after the famous Asian desert, I’m pretty sure that this comic takes place somewhere in North Africa) 

    Gobi manages to get the upper hand early on with a surprise shrink spell, but just before his vultures start to chow down she reappears at full size and max strength to initiate an old-fashioned  magical duel.

    As always, there is a best part to any such duel, and in this case it is when Gobi completely dissolves the Sorceress of Zoom with magical acid. This of course does not kill her, but does leave her as a disembodied spirit for a while.

    As usual, the duel eventually turns into something closer to a child’s game in which the Sorceress merely goes “nuh-uh” in response to every attack by Gobi. This supports my theory that all of this is in aid of alleviating her boredom. Was she tormenting those guys in an area that Gobi was known to haunt in order to pick a fight? It’s entirely possible! All good things must come to an end, however, and once the Super-Wizard of the Desert ceases to entertain he is unceremoniously transformed into a desert spring.