The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: minor super-villain

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 804: THE MAD SCIENTIST OF HELL’S KITCHEN

    (The Flame 003, 1940)

    The Mad Scientist of Hell’s Kitchen is a, you guessed it, mad scientist who has developed one of the classic serums, giving him the option to turn into a huge and super strong ape-man with a simple injection. Of note is the fact that this is not a Jekyll and Hyde situation, as the Mad Scientist and his alter ego the Beast appear to be merely physically and not mentally distinct. Also of note: though the Beast is described as “shaggy” at least once, he appears to in fact be completely hairless.

    After the Beast murders the eminent surgeon Doctor Brown, the Flame takes the time to check in on Brown’s only known enemy, the Mad Scientist of Hell’s Kitchen, and spots the Beast emerging from his warehouse/laboratory.

    Though the Beast hands the Flame’s ass to him and then goes out and kidnaps a young woman while Our Hero lies senseless in the gutter, he picks himself up, dusts himself off and continues the investigation. The Mad Scientist of Hell’s Kitchen does a really phenomenal job of deflecting the Flame’s immediate suspicion with his “I’m the only one here and I’m certainly no beast” routine, but then goes and spoils it all by injecting Beast Serum and transforming into the creature directly in front of a window.

    (just a little demonstration of both the Beast’s level of super strength and the Reverse C panel structure, popular in the early Golden age and always infuriating)

    Ultimately, though the Beast proves tough enough to shrug off the Flame’s fists, and walks away from a collapsing building, he isn’t quite invulnerable enough to resist the force of an extremely tall bit of public art. Once caged, the Beast quickly reverts to the form of the Mad Scientist of Hell’s Kitchen and the city is once again safe for its doctors.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 803: THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN GANG

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 803: THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN GANG

    (The Arrow 002, 1940)

    It’s an occupational hazard for the costumed adventurer: eventually someone is going to dress up like you so that they can do crimes and get away with it while you take all the blame. And when the hero in question is a mysterious and half-legendary figure like your typical masked cowboy tends to be, why, it must be all the more tempting, as Betty aka the Headless Horseman learns to her dismay when she learns that her own alter ego has been tearing up the Mesa County countryside in a crime spree even though she is attending college in Chicago.

    Returning on the first available stagecoach, Betty wastes no time in tracking down the real crooks, then she simply substitutes herself for the convenient her-sized dummy that has been playing the part of the Headless Horseman during the gang raids and leads the whole gang into a corral and the waiting arms of the town sheriff.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 802: HAMMERFIST

    (Target Comics v1 011, 1940)

    Hammerfist is a good old-fashioned gang boss-with-a-gimmick, in his case an iron ball in place of his missing right hand. He’s on a mission to take over the night club scene in New York City by the simple expedient of shooting up clubs until business gets so bad that everyone is willing to sell cheap rather than go bankrupt.

    More importantly, Hammerfist is the person responsible for framing Niles “the Target” Reed’s brother Bill for murder, which leads to Bill’s death and then to the creation of the Target and the Targeteers. I really want to say that he’s also the one responsible for the protection racket that left the Targeteers homeless orphans to be taken in by Niles, but while this is plausible it’s never quite explicitly laid out. 

    More importantly, even though Niles/the Target battles and captures his brother’s killer in this issue, he never learns that Hammerfist is the one who framed Bill! Which is actually a very interesting contrast with Bill “supposedly escaped murderer but actually dead in a shallow grave” Reed, with the law seeking a dead but innocent man and the Target looking for a man who has already been captured. I’m sure that someone could really do something with all of this if the Target were still a going concern!

    Hammerfist and his gang do pretty well against drunken nightclub patrons, but ultimately their role is to serve as punching bags to show just how good the Target and his Targeteers are at beating up crooks. And they’re great at it! Don’t worry though: even though he’s hung up for the police to find, Hammerfist will return in 1941 for what is hopefully a more illustrious appearance.

    (almost forgot to include Hammerfist’s amazing entrance)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 801: GENERAL Z

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 801: GENERAL Z

    (Target Comics v1 007, 1940)

    Boystate is under attack! At first, it’s a relatively innocuous disruption of the power supply, which from what I’ve been able to glean is broadcast power derived from cosmic rays, but it swiftly escalates until all contact with the rangers operating outside of the Boystate boyborders is lost.

    And just in case there’s any confusion, this disruption attack is swiftly followed by a barrage of poison gas missiles, and the Boystate child army must be rolled out to deal with them using flamethrowers.

    The culprit behind these dastardly attacks turns out to be General Z, who in turn is revealed to be the former Captain of Boystate, who was dismissed from his post for selling the Skipper’s inventions on to ne’er-do-wells and is now back for revenge. This is one of those times that something seems like a hoary old trope (the new villain is actually a disgraced former holder of a heroic position) is probably still fairly fresh.

    General Z’s minions are called the Z-Men and I must say that they’re terrific: they have a great name, they are dressed in a kind of junior version of Z’s own outfit, they seem like they’re a little dumb, they’re roughly equivalent to the Boystate Rangers… it’s like a checklist of all the things I want to see in a group of henchmen, plus they have death ray guns. All that’s really missing to really make the experience complete are one or more lieutenants with code names and/or slightly distinctive uniforms.

    I said that the Z-Men are roughly equivalent to the Boystate Rangers, but there is one missed opportunity here: though they do have a kind of slouchy adolescent look the Z-Men appear to be adults, and it would be much more symmetrical and satisfying if they were also troubled youths but instead of the benevolent arms of Boystate they had been taken in by General Z and turned to a life of crime.

    Perhaps the reason for this is that the Skipper’s first plan is to simply blow up General Z’s whole compound, Z-Men and all, and it might not reflect well on him as a saviour of the at-risk youth were he seen to be okay with murdering them en masse. In any case, he is prevented from doing so when General Z kidnaps Jerry, the grandson of the Skipper’s old friend Colonel Richey. Instead, while the Z-Men and the Boystate Rangers engage in deadly hand-to-hand combat, the Captain and M-4 (formerly Pretty Boy, and one of the few Rangers to make even a second appearance) infiltrate Z’s compound in order to rescue Jerry and shut down the signal-damping device that is keeping the Boystate air force grounded.

    Jerry is found in this absolutely awesome looking cryogenic chamber in which General Z freezes his enemies and then sticks them in little oubliettes. Not particularly important to the plot but certainly sick as hell.

    The Captain also manages to trash the power plant, and once the Boystate bugplanes start joining the fight, General Z legs it (knocking his subordinate to the ground in the process just to underscore what a wretch he is).

    Also please note that young Jerry is completely traumatized by the experience, which is a real change of pace from the usual plucky kids in these kinds of stories. 

    General Z returns in Target Comics v1 011, but as the real meat of that story takes place in issue 012, in 1941, I’m going to cover both together once we get to that batch of issues.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 800: BRAINO

    (Target Comics v1 009, 1940) 

    Braino, a circus mentalist with sufficient actual psychic power to control the minds of animals, is looking to take over the circus that he works for and is make a play to do so while the circus train has been stranded by a storm and is being helped out by the boys of Boystate. This isn’t a bad idea – take advantage of the chaos and confusion to bump off the boss and then swoop in to lead the circus in the aftermath! Classic stuff!

    The problem with this plan is that it doesn’t quite work on Braino’s first attempt and rather than bide his time and wait for another opportunity down the road, he just keeps on trying, to the point that he is just walking up to Cristo the gorilla here and giving him mental orders while the entirety of Boystate watches him. It’s a sufficient level of hubris that Braino should be grateful to have only ended up with a sock on the jaw from the Captain, rather than, say, getting mauled to death by an enraged ape.

    Braino also marks our 800th minor super-villain! A huge honour for a terrible little man!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 800: BRAINO

    (Target Comics v1 009, 1940) 

    Braino, a circus mentalist with sufficient actual psychic power to control the minds of animals, is looking to take over the circus that he works for and is make a play to do so while the circus train has been stranded by a storm and is being helped out by the boys of Boystate. This isn’t a bad idea – take advantage of the chaos and confusion to bump off the boss and then swoop in to lead the circus in the aftermath! Classic stuff!

    The problem with this plan is that it doesn’t quite work on Braino’s first attempt and rather than bide his time and wait for another opportunity down the road, he just keeps on trying, to the point that he is just walking up to Cristo the gorilla here and giving him mental orders while the entirety of Boystate watches him. It’s a sufficient level of hubris that Braino should be grateful to have only ended up with a sock on the jaw from the Captain, rather than, say, getting mauled to death by an enraged ape.

    Braino also marks our 800th minor super-villain! A huge honour for a terrible little man!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 799: GLORK

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 799: GLORK

    (Target Comics v1 009, 1940) 

    Glork here is a candidate for election to the post of King of Mars who manages to lose despite massive political interference on his part. This is probably because he is a very unpleasant and transparently evil person.

    Despite some recent real-world examples, Glork might still reign supreme as the worst-ever loser of an election. He immediately settles upon a plan to pull the moon Phobos down to the surface to destroy the entire Martian civilization, while he flees the planet in his personal spaceship to seek glory in the wider Solar System. 

    It can’t be a surprise at this point: Spacehawk does not take this kind of thing lying down. He busts into Glork’s secret lair disguised as a Martian, reverses the polarity on the device so that Phobos returns to its normal orbit, and when Glork makes a run for it Spacehawk uses the attractor machine to crash his spaceship in his own pit full of man- Martian-eating beasts. 

    Special shout out to this guy, who I completely thought was being set up to murder Glork in a fit of pique later in the story but who I guess was just an object illustration of what a jerk Glork was.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 798: DR DEATH

    (Target Comics v1 008, 1940) 

    Dr Death’s initial outing, in Target Comics v1 008, is a pretty typical late-1940/early 1941 plot about trying to draw the US into WWII by attacking shipping and throwing blame for it on an enemy of the unnamed fascist nation that Death is working for. Notably, Dr Death does not appear in the issue and works through various minions whom he directs via loudspeaker.

    Probably the most interesting thing about this first appearance is the fact that Dr Death has a few White Streak contingency schemes in place, including the addition of a coating of anti-electricity glass to his submarine-cum-torpedo superweapon. Despite this, and despite the fact that the White Streak is trapped inside the thing when it sets out to explode a portion of the US fleet, it is destroyed by the Streak because he simply left some electricity outside the sub before boarding, and not only was he able to direct its actions from inside but it was able to shove the submarine onto some rocks for him, disabling it and freeing him (the White Streak’s power level has been ramping up pretty significantly as his series has continued – at this point he’s basically magic).

    Dr Death returns in Target Comics v1 009, and this time he’s not just prepared for the White Streak but actively trying to kill him. He sends one of his minions to lead the Streak into a trap by murdering his captured agent Messer with a cool knife and then returning to Death’s base at an easy-to-follow pace. This turns out not to work due to the fact that Messer was at the FBI’s New York HQ and there was a considerable amount of competition between the White Streak and various law enforcement officials who were on hand.

    (this seems like the place for an aside about Dr Death’s choice of costume and all I really have to say is that it’s great. Seven foot-tall green man with a radio speaker voice? Terrific stuff, no notes)

    The White Streak picks up Dr Death’s trail again when he visits his friend Dr Simms’ lab for some assistance and finds the villain there murdering Simms’ niece Betty. Dr Death comes out on top in this encounter thanks to a very specific ray gun that “dissolves” the Streak’s electron vision but merely stuns the android himself.

    Even a ray gun-wielding megacrook with steel-lined gloves is ultimately no match for an ancient super-powered Mesoamerican android, and Dr Death is eventually tracked down and unmasked beheaded to reveal that he is really… Dr Simms!? This is completely wild, friends. Simms, if you don’t recall, is the archaeologist (later rounded up to all-around super scientist) who discovered the White Streak in his volcanic cocoon, and he has been basically the only member of his supporting cast ever since – contextually, this is like Batman pulling off Clayface’s mask to reveal that he is actually Commissioner Gordon.

    I can only assume that Carl Burgos had gotten tired of Simms and took the thirdmost direct way of getting rid of him (after having him be murdered and just never using him again), because this is some real off-the-wall behavior on Simms’ part. Was he already Dr Death when he met the White Streak? If so, what a terrible decision to keep hanging around with the avowed and deadly enemy of all warmongers, and even moreso if he made the decision to take up the Dr Death mantle as the White Streak’s friend, like meeting and befriending and hanging out with and helping a prominent environmentalist and then getting really deeply invested in dumping toxic waste into the ocean.

    And on top of everything else, why suit up and challenge your super-human acquaintance to a head-to-head battle rather than just sneaking up behind him and bashing him on the head with something when he was not expecting it? Do you reckon that this was a mid-life crisis thing?

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 797: JARK AND ZORG

    (Target Comics v1 007, 1940)

    Jark and Zorg, an alien duo of unknown provenance, continue the trend of Spacehawk villains who could broadly be described as space pirates. They also a) have a very hard pair of names to remember without accidentally mixing up some of the letters and b) are possibly the most phallic-looking alien designs that weren’t just ambulatory ding-dongs that I have ever seen.

    Jark and Zorg’s plan is… not simple, per se, but it doesn’t have a lot of steps. It goes like this: 

    1) get a planetoid and fit it with propulsion devices 

    2) fly around until you are in the path of a space freighter 

    3) use a tractor (bumper) beam to ensure that the freighter only crashes a little, so that the precious cargo is okay

    4) unleash a bunch of creatures called Snurls to wipe out the passengers and crew

    5) loot and profit

    It’s a solid enough plan, albeit one which requires a lot of advance effort and advanced technology, and Zorg even adds a step 6) kidnap a lady off of the first ship they bring down and transform her into an attractive phallus-alien for a little non-Jark companionship. Unfortunately for him, this particular lady is the same one who Spacehawk rescued from Grovak the Martian not two issues prior, and he seems to have some sort of Superman/Lois Lane ability to sense when she is in mortal peril, as despite Zorg’s certainty that their planetoid will never be discovered by the hero he is in fact already in orbit.

    Jark makes a go at taking care of Spacehawk with his atom rifle but it’s simply not enough firepower and he ends up mashed to a pulp.

    Zorg, building on his deceased partner’s efforts, seems to succeed where Jark failed, and further managed to unmask the Spacehawk to reveal that he was a robot the whole time!

    OR WAS HE? No, he wasn’t. Instead, the Spacehawk turns out to be a man with a collection of robot doubles that can substitute for him or otherwise aid him in his crusade against evil. Zorg ends up joining his partner in whatever afterlife that ding-dong aliens get and Spacehawk gets a smooch.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 796: GREBO

    (Target Comics v1 006, 1940)

    Grebo is a simple guy, even if he is a Mercurian. He’s on Venus with his pal Gogg hunting a lost stash of Mercurian platinum that was spirited away by the losing side of a long ago war in which Rogg and Grebo’s ancestors were the victors. And heck, that’d be simple treasure hunting if the underwater city that the swag was in were uninhabited, right?

    Sadly, it turns out that the defeated Mercurians (or the Draxions, as they call themselves) are very much in residence, having adapted to a watery existence as a way to hide from their ancient enemies. And it seems that their caution was entirely justified, as Grebo’s first response to discovering that the platinum might in fact not be up for grabs is to shoot Draxion leader Tuok.

    This little demonstration ensures that Grebo and Rogg have little trouble with the remainder of the peaceful Draxions, and they make their way to the platinum vault with little trouble. At which point Grebo makes some trouble, by murdering Rogg rather than split the loot with him. Classic villain stuff!

    All good things must come to an end, however, and that includes reigns of terror: having been summoned by his friends the Draxions, Spacehawk soon arrives and sends Grebo rocketing into space to his doom. Would Grebo have survived the encounter if he had, say, a second person to back him up? Probably not, but it surely couldn’t have hurt his chances.

    I have to say that the real star of this story were the Draxions. The contrast between their goofy Wolverton faces and the deadly action is surprisingly evocative. Googly-eyed weirdos can have hopes and aspirations too, after all.

    Once the danger is over, Spacehawk helps the Draxions re-adapt to land dwelling forms and I can’t choose between the goofy pointy-headed aquatic Draxions and the more businesslike clearly-enjoying-all-the-air-breathing land Draxions. I love them both dearly.

    Shout out as well to Grebo’s ship full of different types of Mercurians (plus some Saturnian pilots), not only for being great little designs but for (intentionally or not) preemptively shutting down any nit-picking about alien designs not being consistent between Spacehawk adventures. It’s because there are all kinds of different phenotypes, losers!

    (the crew panics when Spacehawk shows up and ends up flying the ship into a mountain, if you were wondering where they were during that final confrontation)