The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: minor super-villain

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 982: CAPTAIN MARS

    (The Funnies 062, 1941)

    “Rex, King of the Deep” is an adventure strip that ran in The Funnies 037 through to 063, the final issue. It stars titular King of the Deep Rex Withers, a wealthy young man who decides to put his money toward the betterment of humanity by funding the construction of a Super-Submarine designed by his friend Professor Bidoux. Over the next couple of years worth of comics he and his ever-expanding cast of associates (the Professor, second-in-command Tim and his own, less super submarine, former shipwreck victim Nan Barlow, young stowaway Butch, a large and mostly nameless crew of submariners) work to keep the seas safe for innocent travellers, at first independently and later on behalf of the Allied Powers. If you like comics about submarine combat I’m sure it’s perfectly thrilling but I personally find it to be a bit of a slog.

    Until, that is, The Funnies 061, in which Rex and his pals fend off a mysterious submarine attack on a convoy that they have been escorting across the Atlantic. They win handily and then follow the survivors with an eye toward discovering their base of operations, and are very surprised to find that it is an enormous, mobile undersea facility. This is the home of Captain Mars, who is not the commander of some Axis superweapon as they must have initially believed, but a highly ambitious and technologically proficient submarine pirate, which is possibly my second favourite kind of pirate after space!

    The centrepiece of Mars’ operation is his headquarters, which is frankly enormous. Not only can it easily accommodate the already huge Super-Sub in its docking bay, but there are frequent references to buildings and streets, and in The Funnies 063 Rex evades some pursuers by swinging on some vines that are hanging from what appears to be a full-grown oak tree in a courtyard and landing on the other side of a garden wall. They have so much extra space inside of this thing that they’re doing landscaping.

    Captain Mars has the classic Bad Boss and Bombastic Speechifying genes that are common to many super-villains, and which are almost certainly a necessity for anyone looking to set up shop as a submarine pirate. I would still recommend that he reconsider his policy of shooting his subordinates for “failures” such as disengaging from a combat engagement before their vessel was destroyed. If nothing else it must be terrible for morale.

    Despite the might of his base and the fact that he has cool holographic communication technology, Captain Mars is undone by Rex’s Underwater Tank, which was merely a useful tool in the first few of his adventures but which seems to also be an unstoppable war machine capable of defeating all barriers and attacks.

    Sadly, the cancellation of The Funnies brings with it a premature end to “Rex, King of the Deep,” just as Mars managed to bamboozle Rex out of the Underwater Tank and repurpose it as a coastal raider. While the original plan for the comic must have been for Rex to escape and reclaim his property and possibly even take the underwater base for his own, as it stands Captain Mars is forever ascendant. 

    Categorized in: Generica (Captains), Famous Figures (Mars), Theft (Submarine Pirates) 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 982: CAPTAIN MARS

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 982: CAPTAIN MARS

    (The Funnies 062, 1941)

    “Rex, King of the Deep” is an adventure strip that ran in The Funnies 037 through to 063, the final issue. It stars titular King of the Deep Rex Withers, a wealthy young man who decides to put his money toward the betterment of humanity by funding the construction of a Super-Submarine designed by his friend Professor Bidoux. Over the next couple of years worth of comics he and his ever-expanding cast of associates (the Professor, second-in-command Tim and his own, less super submarine, former shipwreck victim Nan Barlow, young stowaway Butch, a large and mostly nameless crew of submariners) work to keep the seas safe for innocent travellers, at first independently and later on behalf of the Allied Powers. If you like comics about submarine combat I’m sure it’s perfectly thrilling but I personally find it to be a bit of a slog.

    Until, that is, The Funnies 061, in which Rex and his pals fend off a mysterious submarine attack on a convoy that they have been escorting across the Atlantic. They win handily and then follow the survivors with an eye toward discovering their base of operations, and are very surprised to find that it is an enormous, mobile undersea facility. This is the home of Captain Mars, who is not the commander of some Axis superweapon as they must have initially believed, but a highly ambitious and technologically proficient submarine pirate, which is possibly my second favourite kind of pirate after space!

    The centrepiece of Mars’ operation is his headquarters, which is frankly enormous. Not only can it easily accommodate the already huge Super-Sub in its docking bay, but there are frequent references to buildings and streets, and in The Funnies 063 Rex evades some pursuers by swinging on some vines that are hanging from what appears to be a full-grown oak tree in a courtyard and landing on the other side of a garden wall. They have so much extra space inside of this thing that they’re doing landscaping.

    Captain Mars has the classic Bad Boss and Bombastic Speechifying genes that are common to many super-villains, and which are almost certainly a necessity for anyone looking to set up shop as a submarine pirate. I would still recommend that he reconsider his policy of shooting his subordinates for “failures” such as disengaging from a combat engagement before their vessel was destroyed. If nothing else it must be terrible for morale.

    Despite the might of his base and the fact that he has cool holographic communication technology, Captain Mars is undone by Rex’s Underwater Tank, which was merely a useful tool in the first few of his adventures but which seems to also be an unstoppable war machine capable of defeating all barriers and attacks.

    Sadly, the cancellation of The Funnies brings with it a premature end to “Rex, King of the Deep,” just as Mars managed to bamboozle Rex out of the Underwater Tank and repurpose it as a coastal raider. While the original plan for the comic must have been for Rex to escape and reclaim his property and possibly even take the underwater base for his own, as it stands Captain Mars is forever ascendant. 

    Categorized in: Generica (Captains), Famous Figures (Mars), Theft (Submarine Pirates) 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 981: IVAN SHARK

    (The Funnies 057, 1941)

    Ivan Shark is the arch-enemy of Captain Midnight, direct from the Captain Midnight radio show. He is the head of a nationwide network of spies and gangsters dedicated to overthrowing the US government.

    The threat of Shark and his organization is so great, in fact, that it is the impetus for the formation of Captain Midnight’s Secret Squadron, and so efficient that he is aware of the clandestine meeting between Midnight and a heavily-disguised FDR that marks the Squadron’s beginning and is able to get there in time to attempt a presidential kidnapping. 

    Like Captain Midnight, Ivan Shark has an extensive supporting cast that has been sourced from the radio show and appear as shorthand versions of themselves in the comic, including henchmen Wolf, Fang and Gardo, the latter of whom finally appears in The Funnies 061 after being mentioned in every previous issue.

    The greatest of Shark’s minions is his daughter, the amazingly-named Fury Shark. In practice she is just a standard femme fatale espionage type, but she and her father make for a very entertaining evil scheming duo.

    Like his foe Captain Midnight, this version of Ivan Shark is but a pale shadow of his radio counterpart, doomed to live out an incomplete story due to the brief duration of the Dell adaptation.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 980: THE WERE-WOLF

    (Four Favorites 001, 1941)

    Lash Lightning is one of those characters who is so very powerful that he outclasses all regular human opposition, barring some extraordinary circumstance. That’s why a movie-style, immune-to-all-harm werewolf is a perfect foil for him!

    The story of the Were-Wolf begins c.1921 (or possibly 1911 – accounts vary!), when Sumter Military Academy student Adolph Krimetz, sick of being bullied and nicknamed “Wolf” because of his unusual appearance, attacks a fellow student and accidentally kills him. Fearing official reprisals, Krimetz flees into the wilderness, where he remains for the next twenty (or thirty!) years. 

    Eventually, Krimetz decides to get revenge on the men who bullied him at school, as he blames them for his exile from society. He is emboldened in his quest by the fact that at some point in the intervening years he discovered that his childhood nickname was ironically close to the truth, because he is in fact an actual werewolf!

    Krimetz’s particular style of lycanthropy is worth noting here: he transforms into something approaching a fully canine form, but only in his upper body, meaning that he technically remains humanoid. It’s a wild look, particularly when paired with his homemade fur kilt and footwraps. As the Were-Wolf, Krimetz is super strong, able to travel long distances in a series of super-jumps and is completely immune to all harm – presumably excepting harm caused by silver, but this is never really brought up.

    Starting with his old classmates Generals Andrews and Johnson (and Johnson’s daughter Joan, filling the role of damsel in distress), Krimetz proceeds to kidnap at least sixteen people. Like fellow revenge-seeker the Master, he seems to be compelled to assemble all of his potential victims before killing any of them, and like the Master this ultimately backfires on him. Krimetz, at least, has a motive beyond revenge for doing so, as he plans on torturing military secrets out of his enemies so that he can sell them to the highest bidder.

    Before doing any of that, however, Krimetz sets out to destroy Sumter Military Academy, the scene of his childhood humiliations. Since he has captured Lash Lightning and is thus leaving him alone with all of his prisoners, this is effectively a recipe for their escape. Having freed everyone, Lash rushes off to prevent the bombing.

    While Lash might be incapable of harming the Were-Wolf, it turns out that a big old lightning bolt can compel him to turn back into a human, and a human is very vulnerable to, for instance, being punched headlong onto a barrel of TNT and exploding.

    REVENGE KILLER SCORE: either 0/16 or 0/216+ if we’re including all of the military school kids he also failed to murder.

    BUT WAIT:

    Even though the Were-Wolf is clearly exploded at the end of his first appearance, he does not in fact die. He returns in Four Favorites 002, still obsessed with revenge but directed against the US military in general, rather than the specific people and institutions who harmed him in his youth. To that end, he derails a troop train that is travelling across the Midwest, and goes on to attempt similar acts against an army convoy and some troop-transporting aircraft

    A lot of the dramatic focus of this issue is taken up by the plight of Old Mike Jasper, the railway switchman who Krimetz frames for the derailment and who is almost convicted for the crime a mere one day later despite the fact that a) the case against him is extremely circumstantial and b) much of it is based around a general skepticism of his claim that a werewolf did it, never mind that a werewolf just kidnapped more than a dozen high-level army officers and is currently out there sabotaging military transports. Old Mike has a terrible lawyer, is what I’m implying.

    Krimetz is jailed for the mass murdering, but he will return for a further two appearances in 1942! 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 979: PROFESSOR OCTOPUS

    (Four Favorites 001, 1941)

    Professor Octopus was honestly due for a trip to the next Problematic Update, but that is a place for characters who I feel should be acknowledged but who I don’t want to talk about too much. Who could resist talking about a guy like Professor Octopus, even if he is a weird sinister Asian spy caricature?

    Prof Octopus comes to the attention of Magno when his men round up Magno’s sidekick Davey for defending a too-inquisitive reporter named Ferren from their tender attentions. He cuts quite a figure, with his seven-foot frame, four arms, claws and fangs (plus a really innovative choice of clothing – seldom do you see the multi-armed go with Big Sleeve rather than a more intensive but presumably less accommodating tailoring choice). Sadly, this is all mere window dressing that serves to make him an example of the evil Asian = inhuman monster trope. The “Octopus” part of his name might as well refer to the fact that he operates out of a submarine as that he has six limbs, for all that he uses them.

    Octopus is also quite easily defeated in his two major interactions with Magno and Davey, first by a mere chair to the dome while he is strangling Ferren (and note that he is using all four arms to do it in the only exception to my earlier complaint) and then by the two of them despite his big sword (that he only uses two hands to wield – why not add a couple of shields or some daggers to that loadout?) that is of course magnetic and thus easily countered.

    Though Professor Octopus’ submarine ends up on the bottom of the ocean, the man himself escapes to fight another day, only not really because as far as I can determine this is his only appearance. Still, better to survive an encounter with a super-hero and then fade into obscurity than die in a sinking submarine, as I always say.

    This is the second octopus-themed villain to face Magno – will there be another?

    Categorized in: Animals (Octopodes), Ideologies (Pseudo-Japanese Fascists), Powers (Extra Limbs)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 978: THE BLACK LEGION

    (The Flame 007, 1941)

    The Black Legion is a mysterious cult who recruit members by sending them a sternly-worded letter through the mail. Presumably they have some way of researching their potential inductees to screen for susceptibility to peer pressure and so forth, because the initiation process involves carving a large letter D into your own chest while swearing fealty to the cult’s leader, the skull-masked Master of Death.

    The Black Legion takes its vows seriously, as member Graves finds when he tries to leave and is brutally murdered. Even Linda Dale, the niece of Black Legion co-leader Emma Dale, is almost killed when she asks a few too many questions about the secret ceremonies taking place in her basement on a regular basis. Lucky for her, then, that she has just become a member of the Flame’s supporting cast, as has Pug, the newest prospective member of the cult.

    So just what is the deal with the Black Legion? What ethos they espouse or dark deity they serve? What, in short, is the point of all this? As the Flame learns after busting the place up, it’s all a huge scam. Emma Dale and the Master of Death have been recruiting gullible fools to the organization and then pocketing the mandatory membership fees, and making even more money off of sales of the mandatory green velour robes. It’s a shocking indictment of the state of comic book cults.

    Categorized in: Colours (Black), Fraud (Con Artists), Misc (Cults)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 977: THE HOODED MEN

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 977: THE HOODED MEN

    (The Flame 006, 1941)

    The Hooded Men are a cult of Tibetan fire worshippers who show up one day and kidnap the daughter of the Flame’s friend Doctor Roy. This is a huge coincidence, as the Flame (as I’m sure you all remember) is also a member of a sect of Tibetan fire worshippers! How lucky for Doctor Roy and his child, No First Name Given!

    The Flame is able to follow the cult back to Tibet thanks to the fact that he, like they, can teleport himself through fire. Once there, he engages them in thrilling hand-to-hand combat and sends them all plummeting to the bottom of a cliff to explode, and while history tells us that attempting to settle which religion is best through violent conflict is a net negative proposition there is something very satisfying about this in a strict Fire Worshippers Power Ranking kind of way.

    So just why did the Hooded Men show up to steal Nameless Girlchild Roy anyway? Turns out that the Hooded Men offered Dr Roy shelter while he was backpacking around Asia in his youth and he had to promise that they could have his firstborn child in order to not be sacrificed himself, and he subsequently just… failed to mention this to either the child in question or his good friend who might be able to offer some crucial insight. Father of the year, folks.

    Categorized in: Misc (Cults), Origin (Ancient Tradition Followers), Powers (Elemental Teleportation)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 976: DOCTOR DROOL

    (The Flame 004, 1941)

    Doctor Drool* is a medical doctor who was recently executed for an unspecified crime. He has, however, planned for this eventuality, and his assistant Scully is on-hand to collect him from his mausoleum at the earliest opportunity so that he can administer a revivification treatment to him. Thus restored, Doctor Drool swears revenge on the Judge, District Attorney and jury who convicted him, a fourteen-person death list that would eventually grow to include the Flame as number fifteen.

    Doctor Drool’s real distinction is that his story is serialized over three issues, namely The Flame 004 and 005 and Big 3 003. Sadly, this is not the bold departure from the rapidly-solidifying episodic formula that it could be.

    *his actual surname. Heavy contender for the worst name in comics. 

    Perhaps the best aspect of this extended story is the fact that Drool is able to make many more on-panel attempts at revenge than is typical. This really drives home the terror of the situation for his victims, particularly given his method of murder: sending threatening notes, etc to drive them into a frenzy of fear and then firing a gun loaded with blanks at them to incite a heart attack (a method of murder not without its risks, as two strong-hearted jurists do survive). Please also note the signature on the notes is a stylized representation of Drool’s own tombstone.

    The repetition doesn’t work quite as well in all aspects of the story, alas. For instance: the Flame knows that Drool is operating out of his old home (the unnervingly-named Drool Mansion) though he cannot find his secret lab for most of the story. This leads to him searching the place on five separate occasions, and on three of those he falls for the same trick in which Drool has set up a dummy of himself that sets off a deathtrap when the Flame attacks it.

    (that said, there is a charming bit in which the Flame finds two mice in the mansion’s cellar on his first visit there and reports on the status of their growing family every time he revisits the place, until Drool Mansion is finally destroyed and the now eight-strong mouse family move house en mass. There’s also a recurring bit in which the Flame scares a pair of cemetery workers that is not quite as charming but still fun)

    After maybe a month in-comic, Drool is eventually stopped after he falls off of a building and ironically dies of fright despite being caught by the Flame before he could hit the ground. And since the police never really believed that Doctor Drool was behind the killings, the Flame just tosses him back into his coffin as if he had never went on a killing spree at all. I reckon that there is a pretty high chance that he would’ve been brought back again at least one more time if the next issue didn’t mark the start of the New Look Flame under a different creative team. Scully is still at large, after all, and we never learn where those mice end up!

    JUDGE AND JURY REVENGE KILLER SCORE: 5/15

    Categorized in: Accessories (Calling Cards), Doctors and Professors, Origin (Faked Own Death)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 975: THE SMILER

    (Fight Comics 016, 1941) 

    The Smiler! A grody-looking gang boss with a permanent crooked smile thanks to a facial scar! I can’t actually figure out where this scar is actually supposed to be – I suppose that it must be there, but the Smiler’s face is so covered in seams and divots that it doesn’t stand out.

    The Smiler is such a ruthless and dastardly crook that he accepts a commission from Nazi agent Blitz to steal the engine-killing ray that local inventor Professor Adams is developing for the US government. Any qualms that he might have about betraying his country in this way are smoothed over by the fact that Blitz is paying him a cool one million dollars to do it.

    As is so often the case, the Smiler appearas to have come up with at least three viable plans to steal the ray but rather than committing to any one of them he just does them all at once. The first and second plans are similar in nature: the Smiler disguises himself as a mysterious figure called the Countess and moves into a mansion near Professor Adams’ house, while his gang replaces the entire police force of Freeville, Maryland. Having successfully infiltrated Freeville society (twice!), the gang are now in a perfect position to acquire the ray via subterfuge, perhaps by arresting Professor Adams on trumped-up charges or arranging for the Countess to have a tour of the lab.

    Instead, the fake police round up the entire adult population of Freeville and kill anyone who resists and then threatens to kill everyone if they don’t give up the Professor. In addition to invalidating the effort that was put into the stealth-based aspects of the plan – the Countess part in particular is now just an excuse for a cheap laugh – this gives Adams time to make a fake ray that is in fact a time bomb to hand over and potentially sacrifice himself in the process to save the town.

    It never actually comes to that, however, because Freeville is the home of patriotic super-hero Captain Fight, who teams up with Adams’ son Yank to beat the absolute tar out of both the Smiler and Blitz (and possibly drown the latter?).

    The Smiler returns in 1942’s Fight Comics 017, but thanks to a change of artists has lost his signature crooked grin in favour of a more generic one. This time out he’s stealing British supply ships to sell on to the Axis and gets beaten up for his trouble once more.

    Categorized in: Accessories (Distinctive Scars), Body (Mouth), Misc (Gang Bosses)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 974: TYRANNUS

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 974: TYRANNUS

    (Fight Comics 015, 1941)

    I sniffed at the chronal implications of Super-American coming back in time to help out 1941 America, but it’s very possible that it is only by his intervention that his future comes to exist at all. By the time he arrives, Tyrannus, leader of an unnamed organization perhaps a couple of levels tougher than your average group of bundists, has already managed to install himself in the Oval Office. Senators are being machine gunned in the streets!

    Despite the fact that he seemingly has control of the entire apparatus of American government, Tyrannus is concerned with the formalities: he wants Congress to formally hand over the reins of power to him. Under the barrels of several machine guns, sure, but what regime change hasn’t come with a little ultra-violence?

    Tyrannus, no fool, legs it while Super-American is saving an off-model FDR. Will we see him again? Yes, right now.

    Fight Comics 016 sees Tyrannus in Europe working for the Hitler-alike dictator Vultro. It’s unclear if the implication is that he was already Vultro’s agent in America or if this represents a career setback for Tyrannus – their swastika-adjacent insignia are different, if that means anything. 

    Even if Tyrannus is no longer his own boss, he still gets to do what he loves, as Vultro is just as interested in the military subjugation of the United States as he is. Amd thanks to the insidious Dr Bund and his freshly-perfected aerial torpedoes he is ready to begin the process!

    Super-American takes a dim view of this scheme, and beats the holy hell out of Vultro’s forces until he is able to corner the dictator himself and bully him into promising not to do war any more. He does essentially say “I’m a little stinker” and scamper off the instant that Super-American’s back is turned, but it’s a noble effort nonetheless.

    As for Tyrannus, he murders Dr Bund in order to secure the only escape plane for himself and is then almost immediately captured by Super-American and returned to the US to face trial for all the crimes he did in his previous appearance.

    Categorized in: Generica (Ends in -us),  Ideologies (Crypto-Fascists), Supercrime (Attempted Conquest of the United States)