The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: Marvel Mystery Comics

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 267: THE SHARK

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 012)

    The Shark is a submarine pirate, a thing that is fairly common in comic books and as far as I can tell has never actually happened in real life. He’s a bit more ambitious than most such guys, and at the beginning of this particular story is trying parlay a successful streak of piracy into a general toll on shipping. He’s also a pretty snappy dresser.

    The US, of course, does not take an extortion attempt at such scale lightly, and Professor Zog is brought in to send Electro after the scoundrels, leading to the Shark learning the second rule of having a hard-to-access undersea dome HQ (the first rule being that it rules): if a giant super-robot gets into your dome, there’s nowhere to run.

    The third rule of having a hard-to-access undersea dome HQ is that YOU NEED TO EVACUATE AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE. Don’t try to capture the giant robot and put it in the atom-smasher. Do make a run for the submarine while your more expendable minions distract it. Otherwise you could end up like the Shark: smushed into jelly by the pressure of the ocean depths.

    BONUS HONOURS: Professor Zog gets a Congressional medal of some sort from FDR! They’re not just telegram pals anymore!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 266: DR BRUNO VAROZ

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 010, 1940) 

    I like this guy. This guy is the fun kind of mad scientist with a lot of fun details. First of all he lives in a castle roughly the same size as the island it sits on, off the coast of Cuba. Secondly, he follows the rules of Mad Scientist Grooming, which state that they must either be impeccably groomed or, as with Dr Varoz here, look like they woke up in a compost heap.

    Varoz’ great discovery is a formula for artificial blood, which he uses to bring the dead back to life. Like aerial torpedoes (missiles) and airplane detectors (RADAR), artificial blood as something that both real-world and comic book people were trying to perfect in the 40s, but unlike the former we still haven’t quite gotten the handle on artificial blood, probably because it always seems to turn people into draculas or monsters or, as here, a bunch of skull-faced science revenants.

    And there’s a lot to like about these guys! They look great for one, they’re seemingly unstoppable for two, even though there’s nothing stopping them from being killed again – I guess they’re just too scary to stop.

    They’re also intelligent, which rules, and which is why they’re science revenants and not science zombies. They talk, fly planes, fire guns… Dr Varoz can stay forgotten as far as I’m concerned, but I would love to see his Corpse-Beings BRUNG BACK in some capacity.

    (I really like that the animated corpse is afraid of Electro)

    Dr Bruno Varoz’ other two claims to fame are this excellent two-headed monster and a pretty cold-blooded death via being thrown by Electro into the same acid pit pictured above; The monster, unaccounted for at the end of the story, would also be a welcome sight in a modern comic, if only in one of those crowd shots on Monster Island or in the Mole Man’s tunnels.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 266: DR BRUNO VAROZ

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 010, 1940) 

    I like this guy. This guy is the fun kind of mad scientist with a lot of fun details. First of all he lives in a castle roughly the same size as the island it sits on, off the coast of Cuba. Secondly, he follows the rules of Mad Scientist Grooming, which state that they must either be impeccably groomed or, as with Dr Varoz here, look like they woke up in a compost heap.

    Varoz’ great discovery is a formula for artificial blood, which he uses to bring the dead back to life. Like aerial torpedoes (missiles) and airplane detectors (RADAR), artificial blood as something that both real-world and comic book people were trying to perfect in the 40s, but unlike the former we still haven’t quite gotten the handle on artificial blood, probably because it always seems to turn people into draculas or monsters or, as here, a bunch of skull-faced science revenants.

    And there’s a lot to like about these guys! They look great for one, they’re seemingly unstoppable for two, even though there’s nothing stopping them from being killed again – I guess they’re just too scary to stop.

    They’re also intelligent, which rules, and which is why they’re science revenants and not science zombies. They talk, fly planes, fire guns… Dr Varoz can stay forgotten as far as I’m concerned, but I would love to see his Corpse-Beings BRUNG BACK in some capacity.

    (I really like that the animated corpse is afraid of Electro)

    Dr Bruno Varoz’ other two claims to fame are this excellent two-headed monster and a pretty cold-blooded death via being thrown by Electro into the same acid pit pictured above; The monster, unaccounted for at the end of the story, would also be a welcome sight in a modern comic, if only in one of those crowd shots on Monster Island or in the Mole Man’s tunnels.

  • CREEPS OF THE WORLD: GHOULS

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 010, 1940)

    If there’s one thing you can say about just about any given super-hero universe it’s that any given cave, canyon or unguarded parking lot will have its own little group of creeps who lurk in it and are just spoiling for a chance to get up to mischief.

    Our inaugural creeps are the Ghouls!

    Hailing from volcanic caverns beneath the Blue Ridge Mountains, Ghouls just love to gather up hot ladies for volcanic sacrifice. They love big fur underwear and big rag shoes and hate when a super-hero like the Angel shows up to foil their religious observances. Good job, Ghouls! 

    There are also what seem to be giant ghouls in the same cave system. Not nearly as interesting, but still creeps.

  • HONOURS – PROFESSOR ZOG

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 009, 1940) 

    Professor Zog is made an Honorary Knight of Ligra for his services in the war between the Lion-People and the Dragon-Men. If the Lion-Person in the background looks a bit disgruntled it is perhaps because Zog was originally coerced into fighting on the Dragon-Men’s side and really did a number on the Lion-People’s army before getting free. This is possibly why he only gets to be an honorary knight.

  • HONOURS – PROFESSOR ZOG

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 009, 1940) 

    Professor Zog is made an Honorary Knight of Ligra for his services in the war between the Lion-People and the Dragon-Men. If the Lion-Person in the background looks a bit disgruntled it is perhaps because Zog was originally coerced into fighting on the Dragon-Men’s side and really did a number on the Lion-People’s army before getting free. This is possibly why he only gets to be an honorary knight.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 265: THE MAD DOCTOR

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 009, 1940)

    This one, while not being particularly spectacular as a whole does contain a lot of fun elements. Let’s count them off!

    We open on our hero one a one-issue trip to Europe (1) where he pooh-poohs the local superstitions (2) about a castle full of vampires who steal young women (3).

    The Angel – for it is he who pooh-poohs – quickly gets mixed up in an attempted vampiric abduction and, surprise surprise, the guy isn’t actually a vampire at all (4). A shame, because I love it when vampires are wretched little weasels instead of cool guys in evening wear.

    It turns out that the supposed vampire clan is actually a front for an unnamed mad scientist – “Mad Doctor” is a captions-only unofficial name (5) – who is kidnapping the young women for use as test subjects (6) in his mind-swapping machine (7) and he intends to place his latest victim’s mind into the body of a gorilla (8).

    Lucky for the hapless fraulein, the Angel shows up, there is a fracas and the whole place ends up exploding (9).

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 264: THE VOICE

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 006, 1940)

    The Voice! Mysterious drug kingpin of San Francisco! Nobody has seen his face, not even his henchmen!

    The Voice! Using loudspeakers and radios, he coordinates his operations from a hidden place of safety!

    The Voice! Is a street-level supercrook who has the misfortune to be operating in a story about Electro, Marvel of the Age! All his precautions are as nothing against the giant remote-controlled robot! Adding insult to injury, he isn’t even the main focus of the story, as Electro is on a nation-wide anti-drug crusade. Poor the Voice.

    BONUS HONOURS: Professor Zog gets a telegram of congratulations from FDR!

  • MINOR SUPER-HERO 034: ELECTRO

    (Marvel Mystery Comics 004-019, 1940-1941) 

    Hey look, it’s Electro, Marvel of the Age! I love that guy!

    Or rather I love Electro’s creator/ mental pilot, Professor Philo Zog (later amended to Zogolowski because heaven forfend that someone have a weird name). It’s not often that a weird nerd with a scraggly beard gets to be the hero.

    I also love Zog’s plan: hire a bunch of husky young men to act as his agents in various parts of the US, who then call in Electro as necessary. They eventually get phased out in favour of more Zog-time but I love them while they last. Also, in their first appearance they’re referred to as Zog’s “Machine of Righteousness” and that’s what I think of them as because as a name, it rules.

    Zog later shows up in a period piece or two, but it’s Electro who eventually gets brung back by J. Michael Straczynski in The Twelve, making this the inaugural edition of THE TWELVE REPORT, a review of just how our pals fared in that book.

    Electro got done somewhat dirty by J. Michael: The incident that put the other eleven heroes in suspended animation also severed the mental connection required to drive the robot. and Zog subsequently died of mental withdrawal. It might have taken a while though? His daughter Elizabeth shows up in the series and she is definitely not drown or styled as the 60+ year-old she would have to be if Zog kicked the bucket in 1945.

    As for Electro itself, it was basically a narrative device in the book, acting as a combo murder weapon and witness. Ultimately it ends up being driven around the Middle East by the Laughing Mask. Ho hum.

    Maybe I’ll work out a 1-12 scale of how well I reckon the characters in The Twelve ended up being treated but it’s hard to do with only one of them, you know?

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 263: BUTCH

    (Marvel Mystery Comics 004, 1940)

    Probably the least of the Superstrong Giant Henchman types we’ve seen so far, Butch is very briefly the scourge of an unnamed city under the command of gang boss Brink, until he gets dropped off a building by the Angel. 

    Nothing specifically bad about this guy – there’s just not much that’s specifically interesting about him. It might be fun to see him get brought back as an example of an early mutant but that’s about it.