The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: Zambini the Miracle Man

  • PROBLEMATIC ROUND-UP 007

    Damn their problematic hides!

    Rango: 

    A former Vaudeville magician who employs a magical gem and some rubberoid mask blackface to establish himself as medicine man/bandit chief in Africa, Rango aka Harrigan is ultimately unmasked by Yarko the Great. (Wonderworld Comics 015, 1940) 

    Unnamed Witch Doctor: 

    This unnamed Haitian witch doctor has a very unusual scheme: blind entire American cities with a floating vision of some of his men and then loot those same cities of all of their diamonds. Why diamonds specifically? No clue. He is also notable for giving Zambini the Miracle Man a harder time than Satan himself, before eventually being killed, just like Satan himself. (Zip Comics 005, 1940)

    War Hatchet: 

    Fascist spies striking at the US by inciting Native American tribes to violence is unfortunately going to crop up more than a couple of times as we make our way through the comics of the Forties (and I reckon that the same plot will be recycled with Commie spies in the Fifties and Sixties, alas). This time, the plot is spearheaded by a fellow who calls himself War Hatchet, a European ex-pat turned bandit chief who has returned to the fold to do some espionage work for the dear old unnamed fatherland. 

    As is often the case, War Hatchet makes an okay argument for the colonized to rise up against their oppressors, only with a bunch of murder appended and the unspoken coda that there will be new oppressors later on. Spy Smasher not only stabs him to death but chucks him into a fire afterward. (Spy Smasher 001, 1941)

    the Yellow Horde: 

    The Yellow Horde is a gang of guys in cool looking yellow suits who break into defense plants and shoot poison gas balls everywhere. They turn out to be Chinese, and while the name is arguably in reference to the cool suits I just can’t bring myself to trust 1940s America not to get a little bit of racism in for fun.

    The Yellow Horde’s boss turns out to be an unnamed costumed Nazi who is pretending to be Chinese but also forcing the Horde into doing his bidding. why both? Who knows. Ultimately he gets beaten up by the Hood. (Cat-Man Comics 005, 1941)

  • PROBLEMATIC ROUND-UP 007

    Damn their problematic hides!

    Rango: 

    A former Vaudeville magician who employs a magical gem and some rubberoid mask blackface to establish himself as medicine man/bandit chief in Africa, Rango aka Harrigan is ultimately unmasked by Yarko the Great. (Wonderworld Comics 015, 1940) 

    Unnamed Witch Doctor: 

    This unnamed Haitian witch doctor has a very unusual scheme: blind entire American cities with a floating vision of some of his men and then loot those same cities of all of their diamonds. Why diamonds specifically? No clue. He is also notable for giving Zambini the Miracle Man a harder time than Satan himself, before eventually being killed, just like Satan himself. (Zip Comics 005, 1940)

    War Hatchet: 

    Fascist spies striking at the US by inciting Native American tribes to violence is unfortunately going to crop up more than a couple of times as we make our way through the comics of the Forties (and I reckon that the same plot will be recycled with Commie spies in the Fifties and Sixties, alas). This time, the plot is spearheaded by a fellow who calls himself War Hatchet, a European ex-pat turned bandit chief who has returned to the fold to do some espionage work for the dear old unnamed fatherland. 

    As is often the case, War Hatchet makes an okay argument for the colonized to rise up against their oppressors, only with a bunch of murder appended and the unspoken coda that there will be new oppressors later on. Spy Smasher not only stabs him to death but chucks him into a fire afterward. (Spy Smasher 001, 1941)

    the Yellow Horde: 

    The Yellow Horde is a gang of guys in cool looking yellow suits who break into defense plants and shoot poison gas balls everywhere. They turn out to be Chinese, and while the name is arguably in reference to the cool suits I just can’t bring myself to trust 1940s America not to get a little bit of racism in for fun.

    The Yellow Horde’s boss turns out to be an unnamed costumed Nazi who is pretending to be Chinese but also forcing the Horde into doing his bidding. why both? Who knows. Ultimately he gets beaten up by the Hood. (Cat-Man Comics 005, 1941)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 023

    Perhaps we should make ethics a mandatory subject for the sciences again.

    Kruger: 

    While tooling around in the desert one day, Diamond Jack encounters a young woman named Ruth West, whose physician brother has been captured by the diabolical scientist Kruger and taken to Terror Valley in order to help in Kruger’s work turning men into hybrid creatures called Vulture Men, with the ultimate goal of using them to take over the world. If that plot sounds at all familiar, it’s because it is almost exactly the same as the one in Wonderworld Comics 015, featuring the Flame and Dr Belos, right down to the name of the valley, the colour of the Vulture men and the fact that the scientist has his own private hydroelectric dam.

    Just how did this happen? Three distinct possibilities spring to mind:

    1. The Diamond Jack writer (Gus Ricca? He’s got the generally accepted art credit) just plain old cribbed the story off of the Flame adventure, which came out about six months earlier

    2. Gus Ricca and the Flame writer (unidentified) knew one another and came up with the idea for the story together in the reasonable expectation that nobody would notice. Alternately, the same person might have written both stories for two different artists.

    3. The biggest coincidence in the history of mankind.

    Whatever the reason for it, we are left with two very similar stories to compare:

    Kruger’s Vulture Men are much more appealing to me than Belos’ – particularly their weird pawlike hands. While Belos’ version does look a bit more like something you could do to a person via surgery (except for the part where they have functional dragon wings coming out of their backs of course), the lack of humanity in the bird heads of Kruger’s really drives home the horror of their being transformed against their wills. I also appreciate their seemingly organic feather kilts.

    Kruger also has a better look than Belos – his having a bit of the vulture to his look makes a lot of aesthetic sense! I do miss Belos’ one long tooth, though.

    The one place where Kruger loses out to Belos is in means of destruction. Being drowned by your own bursting dam doesn’t hold a candle to getting fatally beaned with the skull of one of your own failed experiments (though “I’m drowning – AAAGH!” are pretty good last words). (Wow Comics 001, 1940)

    Categorized in: Animals (Birds) 

    Professor Stargaze: 

    Professor Stargaze is a mad astronomer (nominative determinism) who discovers that the wandering and flaming planet Inferno will soon pass near Earth and wipe all life from its surface. Not only does Stargaze decide not to share this information with the world (possibly a morally neutral act) but he is so convinced that it is the right thing to happen that he tags along with Zambini the Miracle Man and tries to prevent him from stopping it (actively evil).

    Stargaze is ultimately fried to a crisp when he attempts to assassinate Zambini with a flaming spear, then reincarnated as a rat by magic, then restored to his human form back on Earth once it is saved. Has he learned a lesson from all this? Unclear. (Zip Comics 002, 1940)

    Categorized in: Day Jobs (Astronomers), Doctors and Professors

    Doctor Igor:

    Doctor Igor is a scientist with a vision: to develop a method of creating giant men via electrical stimulation of the pituitary gland, and to use an army of these men to take over the world. To that end, he has taken over a remote island (probably because it already has a castle on it) and used its inhabitants as guinea pigs.

    Igor probably saw the fact that the island had a copra plantation on it as a plus, since it provided a supply experimental subjects for him, but what he failed to anticipate was that an interruption of commercial product is likely to draw the attention of an adventurer such as Lance Rand to investigate just what the heck was going on. Igor is ultimately undone when his own creation trips over some equipment and blows up the castle. (Cat-Man Comics 002, 1941)

    Categorized in: Accessories (Castles), Doctors and Professors 

    Borcia:

    Borcia (also called “Garcia” one time which is probably an editorial oversight but possibly means that his name is either Garcia Borcia or Borcia Garcia) is a formerly-famous scientist whose mind cracked due to overwork and who now dreams of world conquest. And how better to achieve that dream than by stealing the magic gem owned by small-time super-hero Dr Diamond?

    Once both the gem and Dr Diamond are in his clutches, Borcia reveals his world domination plot: let loose a moderately cool-looking giant robot called Najar to just kind of indiscriminately rampage through the nearby town of Verez, Mexico. Presumably there will be more robots later on. As for the magic diamond: it seems to play no real role in the plan. Borcia just wanted it, I guess.

    As so often happens, Borcia is betrayed by his own step-daughter Elena, who just wants a normal, non-evil life and resents being part of a super-villainous household. Dr Diamond proves more than a match for Najar, and despite some typical super-villain bluster as he is lead off to jail, Borcia is never seen again. (Cat-Man Comics 003, 1941)

    Categorized in: Accessories (Gems (Magic), Giant Robots), Location (Mexico)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 023

    MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 023

    Perhaps we should make ethics a mandatory subject for the sciences again.

    Kruger: 

    While tooling around in the desert one day, Diamond Jack encounters a young woman named Ruth West, whose physician brother has been captured by the diabolical scientist Kruger and taken to Terror Valley in order to help in Kruger’s work turning men into hybrid creatures called Vulture Men, with the ultimate goal of using them to take over the world. If that plot sounds at all familiar, it’s because it is almost exactly the same as the one in Wonderworld Comics 015, featuring the Flame and Dr Belos, right down to the name of the valley, the colour of the Vulture men and the fact that the scientist has his own private hydroelectric dam.

    Just how did this happen? Three distinct possibilities spring to mind:

    1. The Diamond Jack writer (Gus Ricca? He’s got the generally accepted art credit) just plain old cribbed the story off of the Flame adventure, which came out about six months earlier

    2. Gus Ricca and the Flame writer (unidentified) knew one another and came up with the idea for the story together in the reasonable expectation that nobody would notice. Alternately, the same person might have written both stories for two different artists.

    3. The biggest coincidence in the history of mankind.

    Whatever the reason for it, we are left with two very similar stories to compare:

    Kruger’s Vulture Men are much more appealing to me than Belos’ – particularly their weird pawlike hands. While Belos’ version does look a bit more like something you could do to a person via surgery (except for the part where they have functional dragon wings coming out of their backs of course), the lack of humanity in the bird heads of Kruger’s really drives home the horror of their being transformed against their wills. I also appreciate their seemingly organic feather kilts.

    Kruger also has a better look than Belos – his having a bit of the vulture to his look makes a lot of aesthetic sense! I do miss Belos’ one long tooth, though.

    The one place where Kruger loses out to Belos is in means of destruction. Being drowned by your own bursting dam doesn’t hold a candle to getting fatally beaned with the skull of one of your own failed experiments (though “I’m drowning – AAAGH!” are pretty good last words). (Wow Comics 001, 1940)

    Categorized in: Animals (Birds) 

    Professor Stargaze: 

    Professor Stargaze is a mad astronomer (nominative determinism) who discovers that the wandering and flaming planet Inferno will soon pass near Earth and wipe all life from its surface. Not only does Stargaze decide not to share this information with the world (possibly a morally neutral act) but he is so convinced that it is the right thing to happen that he tags along with Zambini the Miracle Man and tries to prevent him from stopping it (actively evil).

    Stargaze is ultimately fried to a crisp when he attempts to assassinate Zambini with a flaming spear, then reincarnated as a rat by magic, then restored to his human form back on Earth once it is saved. Has he learned a lesson from all this? Unclear. (Zip Comics 002, 1940)

    Categorized in: Day Jobs (Astronomers), Doctors and Professors

    Doctor Igor:

    Doctor Igor is a scientist with a vision: to develop a method of creating giant men via electrical stimulation of the pituitary gland, and to use an army of these men to take over the world. To that end, he has taken over a remote island (probably because it already has a castle on it) and used its inhabitants as guinea pigs.

    Igor probably saw the fact that the island had a copra plantation on it as a plus, since it provided a supply experimental subjects for him, but what he failed to anticipate was that an interruption of commercial product is likely to draw the attention of an adventurer such as Lance Rand to investigate just what the heck was going on. Igor is ultimately undone when his own creation trips over some equipment and blows up the castle. (Cat-Man Comics 002, 1941)

    Categorized in: Accessories (Castles), Doctors and Professors 

    Borcia:

    Borcia (also called “Garcia” one time which is probably an editorial oversight but possibly means that his name is either Garcia Borcia or Borcia Garcia) is a formerly-famous scientist whose mind cracked due to overwork and who now dreams of world conquest. And how better to achieve that dream than by stealing the magic gem owned by small-time super-hero Dr Diamond?

    Once both the gem and Dr Diamond are in his clutches, Borcia reveals his world domination plot: let loose a moderately cool-looking giant robot called Najar to just kind of indiscriminately rampage through the nearby town of Verez, Mexico. Presumably there will be more robots later on. As for the magic diamond: it seems to play no real role in the plan. Borcia just wanted it, I guess.

    As so often happens, Borcia is betrayed by his own step-daughter Elena, who just wants a normal, non-evil life and resents being part of a super-villainous household. Dr Diamond proves more than a match for Najar, and despite some typical super-villain bluster as he is lead off to jail, Borcia is never seen again. (Cat-Man Comics 003, 1941)

    Categorized in: Accessories (Gems (Magic), Giant Robots), Location (Mexico)

  • MINOR SUPER-HERO ROUND-UP 067

    Something for everyone* in this one.

    *not really. 

    Zambini the Miracle Man: 

    Zambini the Miracle Man, aka Zambini the Great, is your fairly typical comic book magic man, albeit a bit more flamboyantly dressed than even that crowd normally are.

    Though Zambini has a lot of the regular magic abilities of his peer group his signature trick involves his magical Boomerang Amulet, which causes evil to rebound on its sender. This takes forms as diverse as a cobra returning to the one who released it to bombs flying back up to the plane that dropped them to magic spells rebounding on their casters. 

    (please also note the final panel above, in which Zambini is being made a Knight of Ritania, which I here recognize as an honour)

    Finally, while I generally do enjoy when a magic user has a weakness to counter their nigh-omnipotence, Zambini might just have the worst one in comics: the touch of a human hand renders him completely powerless and unable to resist, to the point that this Hundanian spy is able to gently lead him to their headquarters and he is only saved when her boss gets jealous – thank heavens that Hundania doesn’t have a robust anti-workplace romance policy. This weakness kind of falls by the roadside as time goes on but does occasionally crop up now and then in horrible ways. (Zip Comics 001, 1940)

    Perhaps the most interesting thing about Zambini is his magical system: for his first two appearances he casts spells by spouting nonsense words (as far as I can tell), but from Zip Comics 003 onward, he uses a version of Ubbi Dubbi that involves inserting the syllable “ab” instead of “ub”. I don’t know if it’s strictly better than speaking backward, Zatara style, but it certainly is unique.

    Atom Blake, Boy Wizard **UPDATE**:

    I had read the 1940-1941 issues of Wow Comics before embarking on my great comics-reading project, so I already knew going in that Atom Blake would essentially speed-run the process of getting tired of living among mere mortals and heading off into space, Dr Manhattan style, but I had forgotten that he is doing so in order to look for his long-lost father. Also, while I did remember that Blake duplicated himself before setting out I had misremembered it as him leaving behind a non-super version of himself on Earth while the superhuman part set off for adventure. What I’m saying here is that the version of Atom Blake that I had remembered is way more interesting than the actual character. (Wow Comics 002, 1941) 

    the Hunchback: 

    The Hunchback is in actuality wealthy playboy Allan Lanier, who became obsessed with the figure of Quasimodo after seeing the 1939 film version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame (or possibly a literal picture of the character – the text box isn’t 100% clear) and combined that with his interest in wiping out crime to become a weird spectre of the night, Batman-style.

    Lanier is refreshingly up-front about his interest in criminology, to the extent that he is seen droning on and on about it before a date with his fiance Betty Brenton. I don’t know if I’d like every fellow with a secret identity to abandon the “disaffected socialite” act, but it is nice to see the odd one do without it and just be a weird eccentric.

    The Hunchback really leans into two specific aspects of his inspiration: he is absurdly acrobatic, and he metes out insane and terrifying violence to his foes. The latter has git to be one of the better justifications for the dread a masked figure of the night inspires among the criminal fraternity.

    We’re on a bit of a run of characters who share their secret identity with their love interest and Alan Lanier is one of them: his fiance Betty has to be told before she will let the Hunchback help her (this might be the downside of the whole “reputation for insane violence” thing). (Wow Comics 002, 1941)

    In the Hunchback’s second adventure, in Wow Comics 003, Lanier switches to a slightly more conventional super-hero outfit. It’s a generic but not terrible design, and I always appreciate a character making a bold hat choice, but I think that it is perhaps a bit too twee for a character who is supposed to be some sort of rampaging engine of madness and destruction. The old uniform came back out of the closet for the Hunchback’s remaining appearances.

    Pinky the Whiz Kid: 

    Pinky the future Whiz Kid (not technically called that until 1942, but whatever, we’re loose and goosey around here) is already a fan of Mr Scarlet before he is rendered a crime orphan by the villainous Mr Hyde (upcoming), who seemingly randomly murders his mother.

    Pinky ends up at Oaklawn Orphanage, which just so happens to be run by Mr Hyde’s alter ego, Dr Jelke. When Hyde/Jelke and Mr Scarlet inevitably clash, Pinky is right there in his homemade sidekick costume to help out.

    Pinky is adopted by District Attorney Brian Butler, ostensibly to keep him out of trouble, but since Pinky has worked out that Brian is secretly Mr Scarlet he is able to blackmail him into becoming his sidekick. It sounds more sinister than it reads, honestly.

    The real downside to Mr Scarlet getting a sidekick is that Miss Wade, formerly a romantic sparring partner for Brian and occasional daring assistant in her own right, is relegated to the role of scolding caretaker as she sensibly attempts to prevent a teenager from flinging himself into danger. It’s a real loss to the comic.(Wow Comics 004, 1941)

  • DIVINE ROUND-UP 021

    DIVINE ROUND-UP 021

    Just scads of gods.

    Yum Chac: 

    These Mayan priests have tied a recent drought to some archaeological excavations in the Yucatan and have decided that the only thing for it is to revive the practice of human sacrifice to Yum Chac, aka just Chac, god of rain. They of course do this just in time for Zambini the Miracle Man to show up and wreck their whole operation.

    The really interesting thing about this whole episode is that it takes place at a site called “Hichen-Citza” and let me tell you that it’s this sort of thing that really shakes my confidence with regard to my knowledge of just when and why Golden Age comic book creators did these cute little place name substitutions. Surely there was no concern that an ancient or present-day Mayan might get upset by this depiction of their city but not, say their god? Or maybe I should just look back on the whole Egyptasia thing and conclude that “Zambini” scribe Joe Blair just really liked making up silly names for real places.

    (also the high priest is named “Macchu Pacchu,” which again seems to just be Blair having fun with names)

    El Castillo, the temple of Kukulcan also features, and evidently drawn from an old reference photo from back when the sides were still covered in vegetation. 

    God Style: Idol (Real Pantheon) (Zip Comics 008, 1940) 

    the Moon Orchid:

    I frequently like to point out when Golden Age explorers are just blithely waltzing into religious sites and stealing their sacred relics even in the face of stiff and reasonable resistance from the faithful, but this one is pretty beyond the pale. While most of the others at least attempt to adopt a pretense of respectability by claiming to be thieving for anthropological or other scientific reasons, Congo Bill and his pal Professor Kent are explicitly heading into the jungle to steal the Mesabi tribe’s sacred Moon Orchid so that they can sell it for big bucks.

    And steal it they do! And what’s worse: they blow up the entire Mesabi village in the process, so it’s not just sacrilege but mass murder. Worth it for that sweet orchid money, I guess.

    God Style: Animist (More Fun Comics 066, 1941) 

    Ozaz: 

    Adventurer Steve Conrad is on vacation in Egypt when he stumbles upon a weird cult looking to do a blood transfusion from a living woman into a mummy queen in order to bring her back to life and usher in a new age of the Pharaohs. Presumably this bunch worship all of your standard Ancient Egyptian gods, but they don’t name-drop any specific ones, until Steve fumbles his rescue attempt and is slated to be sacrificed to… 

    OZAZ THE FIRE GOD! Possessed of a pretty good name and nothing else, Ozaz is a made-up god who seems to have the head of a bird and whose statue is perfectly placed to topple over and kill the cultists when Steve’s assistant Chang opens the trap door underneath it. Too bad for Ozaz (no sacrifice today) and the Pharaoh cult (crushed to death).

    God Style: Idol (Real Pantheon) (Adventure Comics 063, 1941)

    Pyro:

    Worshipped by the Center People of Asteroid Djung, Pyro is a simple god: he hungers for sacrifice and he wants it via his sacred lava pit. 

    God Style: Invoked (Master Comics 019, 1941) 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 876: THE CULT OF ANKKAMAN

    (Zip Comics 006, 1940)

    Zambini the Miracle man is visiting his old friend the archaeologist Professor Lorenz when he learns that Lorenz is potentially filled with curse-energy thanks to an ancient tomb he violated. The Professor is dismissive of these concerns, even though both his daughter Greta and Zambini himself reckon that there might be something to them.

    Sure enough, the very instant that Zambini has left the Lorenz house, two members of the Cult of Ankkaman show up and kidnap Professor Lorenz, making use of the magical Doorway of King Ankkaman (one of the items that he brought back from his travels/ that the cult are angry about him making off with) to spirit him away. 

    Sensing trouble, Zambini returns and finds Greta Lorenz in a state of hypnotic paralysis thanks to the cultists’ magics. He frees her and they use the Doorway to follow.

    Now. There are exactly two things that got me excited about this particular entry, which is otherwise a pretty standard tale of a group objecting to the theft of their cultural objects from back when that was seen as unreasonable and villainous thing to do. The first of these is the fact that the Cult of Ankkaman comes from the country of Egyptasia, which I am 90% certain based on context clues is a country exactly like Egypt, only in Asia. Why set a story that could so very easily take place in regular old Egypt in this unnecessary new country you ask? Beats me, but it’s exactly the sort of weird comics thing that I love.

    The second thing is simply that Saki, the Cult’s magic user, does his spells Zatara-style, by speaking backward, and that the close proximity of this to Zambini’s “abbi dabbi” style of spellcasting really highlight just how silly both of these affectations are.

    Prof Lorenz is weirdly calm about being sacrificed to Ankkaman, which he rationalizes as some sort of extremely visceral research. Fortunately for the field of anthropology, Zambini shows up in time to ensure that he is able to publish this experience rather than perish due to it.

    Zambini, the Professor and Greta make their way back through the Doorway of Ankkaman, which Zambini then seals by the simple expedient of adding a door to the frame. The Professor is saved! Unless the cultists make their way back to his house via conventional travel, of course. 

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 023

    A fine batch of aliens for ye this day, sor! 

    Inferians: 

    The wandering planet Inferno threatens to destroy the Earth with its heat, and the magician Zambini (plus some lady and the mad astronomer Professor Stargaze) travel to its surface in an attempt to cool it down. There they find the Inferians, charmingly can-shaped aliens made out of heat-resistant glass.

    We learn more information than usual about this alien culture from a handy text box: the nearby Inferian city is called Cinderburg, and the tap-based language is called Clink. From an Inferian tranformed into a human we learn that the king of Inferno is known as the Great Glassblower, plus the fact that Inferians can be horny.

    The Great Glassblower is implied to have made the Inferians somehow, so I had expected him to be some other manner of being but instead he is just a slightly better-dressed Inferian with a hostile attitude and a bowl full of molten glass that he’s not afraid to throw at intruders. Zambini nonetheless manages to seal up the huge volcano that is the source of Inferno’s great heat (and hopefully not important for maintaining the lives of the Inferians somehow) and thus Earth is saved! (Zip Comics 002, 1940)

    Etherians and Rodongees: 

    After helping the Barrangees move back to the surface of their world and defeat the giant insect species that had driven them underground in the first place, Captain Tornado and his fellow Earthicans were probably ready for a bit of a break from inter-species combat. Well, tough luck, because upon closer inspection, some of the giant insects flying around the surface of Barrang were not insects at all but insect-shaped vehicles piloted by four-armed, blue-haired guys with fragile constitutions and a bad attitude, and Tornado, his friends and a whole bunch of Barrangees are rounded up and taken prisoner by them.

    Their jailers turn out to be called Etherians, and the Etherians turn out to be jerks who have already enslaved a race called the Rodongees and now propose to do the same to the Barrangees. Tornado and his party fall in with a group of freedom-fighting Rodongees and pledge to help them overthrow the Etherians once and for all… and that is the end of the “Captain Tornado” feature. I sure hope they managed to complete their mission without having any more alien trouble on Barrang! (Popular Comics 056, 1940)

    the Evil Gods: 

    Ted Hunt and Jane Martin, the Star Rovers, are making an exploratory stop on Venus when they are captured by a tribe of post-apocalyptic Venusians, but just what exactly was the apocalypse that made them so? They soon find out when they witness a Venusian hunter being chased down and seemingly eaten by a robot referred to as one of the “Evil Gods.”

    And just what are the Evil Gods? Once Ted beats up the Venusian king he gets the story of how his people found six of them deep underground in some sort of suspended animation and how once they were accidentally revived they enslaved the former Venusian civilization and reduced the few free members of the species to starving in isolated swamps. Ted, now king of the Venusians, vows to free the people from the tyranny of the Evil Gods.

    Ted and Jane set out to find food and are immediately captured and transported back to the Evil Gods’ seat of power, where they learn that the tyrant beings are not in fact robots but blobby green aliens that use the impervious robotic exoskeletons to protect their frail flesh. 

    Ted escapes to retrieve his spaceship and takes advantage of the Gods’ habit of sleeping outside of their shells to kill five of them. The sixth, on watch over the Venusian slaves, is lassoed and dragged into a cave where it is then sealed, hopefully for all time. The Venusians (and Jane) are free! (Exciting Comics 003, 1940)

    Fang Men: 

    The Fang Men of Jupiter (or Jupitor, as it appears here) might have a rich and beautiful society that values poetry and art and presumably good dentistry but alas that is not how we encounter them while reading the adventures of Cosmic Carson. 

    Instead, all of the Fang Men we meet are space pirates, and particularly jerky ones at that. We can only hope that this is not an accurate picture of Fang-Man society as a whole. (Science Comics 001, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 023

    A fine batch of aliens for ye this day, sor! 

    Inferians: 

    The wandering planet Inferno threatens to destroy the Earth with its heat, and the magician Zambini (plus some lady and the mad astronomer Professor Stargaze) travel to its surface in an attempt to cool it down. There they find the Inferians, charmingly can-shaped aliens made out of heat-resistant glass.

    We learn more information than usual about this alien culture from a handy text box: the nearby Inferian city is called Cinderburg, and the tap-based language is called Clink. From an Inferian tranformed into a human we learn that the king of Inferno is known as the Great Glassblower, plus the fact that Inferians can be horny.

    The Great Glassblower is implied to have made the Inferians somehow, so I had expected him to be some other manner of being but instead he is just a slightly better-dressed Inferian with a hostile attitude and a bowl full of molten glass that he’s not afraid to throw at intruders. Zambini nonetheless manages to seal up the huge volcano that is the source of Inferno’s great heat (and hopefully not important for maintaining the lives of the Inferians somehow) and thus Earth is saved! (Zip Comics 002, 1940)

    Etherians and Rodongees: 

    After helping the Barrangees move back to the surface of their world and defeat the giant insect species that had driven them underground in the first place, Captain Tornado and his fellow Earthicans were probably ready for a bit of a break from inter-species combat. Well, tough luck, because upon closer inspection, some of the giant insects flying around the surface of Barrang were not insects at all but insect-shaped vehicles piloted by four-armed, blue-haired guys with fragile constitutions and a bad attitude, and Tornado, his friends and a whole bunch of Barrangees are rounded up and taken prisoner by them.

    Their jailers turn out to be called Etherians, and the Etherians turn out to be jerks who have already enslaved a race called the Rodongees and now propose to do the same to the Barrangees. Tornado and his party fall in with a group of freedom-fighting Rodongees and pledge to help them overthrow the Etherians once and for all… and that is the end of the “Captain Tornado” feature. I sure hope they managed to complete their mission without having any more alien trouble on Barrang! (Popular Comics 056, 1940)

    the Evil Gods: 

    Ted Hunt and Jane Martin, the Star Rovers, are making an exploratory stop on Venus when they are captured by a tribe of post-apocalyptic Venusians, but just what exactly was the apocalypse that made them so? They soon find out when they witness a Venusian hunter being chased down and seemingly eaten by a robot referred to as one of the “Evil Gods.”

    And just what are the Evil Gods? Once Ted beats up the Venusian king he gets the story of how his people found six of them deep underground in some sort of suspended animation and how once they were accidentally revived they enslaved the former Venusian civilization and reduced the few free members of the species to starving in isolated swamps. Ted, now king of the Venusians, vows to free the people from the tyranny of the Evil Gods.

    Ted and Jane set out to find food and are immediately captured and transported back to the Evil Gods’ seat of power, where they learn that the tyrant beings are not in fact robots but blobby green aliens that use the impervious robotic exoskeletons to protect their frail flesh. 

    Ted escapes to retrieve his spaceship and takes advantage of the Gods’ habit of sleeping outside of their shells to kill five of them. The sixth, on watch over the Venusian slaves, is lassoed and dragged into a cave where it is then sealed, hopefully for all time. The Venusians (and Jane) are free! (Exciting Comics 003, 1940)

    Fang Men: 

    The Fang Men of Jupiter (or Jupitor, as it appears here) might have a rich and beautiful society that values poetry and art and presumably good dentistry but alas that is not how we encounter them while reading the adventures of Cosmic Carson. 

    Instead, all of the Fang Men we meet are space pirates, and particularly jerky ones at that. We can only hope that this is not an accurate picture of Fang-Man society as a whole. (Science Comics 001, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 874: MAGI

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 874: MAGI

    (Zip Comics 004, 1940)

    The villain for today is called Magi, and is the chief magic-user to a race of Mermen and Mermaids. Magi and his pal Torno have come to the surface world on a mission to retrieve the last descendant of the Mer-folk on land. Some notes:

    -Magi gets no small amount of points for recognizing Zambini as his greatest threat among the surface world people and moving to neutralize him in advance of the mission.

    -These points are lessened by the fact that Zambini manages to wake up mid-Eternal Sleep spell and turn it into a Long Nap spell instead.

    -Mary Reed, the last Mer-descendant on Earth, is somehow the key to making the Merfolk able to walk the land again, but just how this is to be achieved is never articulated. Does it have something to do with her being the only part-Mer human or have the Merfolk simply been procrastinating for generations?

    -The reason that the Merfolk can’t just walk up onto land may shock you: it’s not due to amphibiousness-related problems as you might expect but rather because they can’t see in daylight. Wild! 

    Magi and Torno successfully nab Mary Reed, but her savvy friends recruit Zambini (extremely refreshed from his long magic nap) to help rescue her. In addition to Mary’s friend Jean Sampson (cruelly institutionalized for reporting Mary’s abduction but sprung by Zambini) and Jean’s fiance Stanley Hamilton, they are accompanied by Hamilton’s friend and minor antagonist Paul Lloyd, whose lust for Merman gold is such that he attempts to murder Zambini for it while walking around on the bottom of the ocean in a Zambini-made air bubble that he has no hint will survive the magician’s death. If ever a man deserved magical punishment (specifically: having his arm turned into a fish fin) it is he.

    The rest of the adventure is a foregone conclusion, considering that Magi was not quite powerful enough to overcome Zambini while the latter was in deep REM sleep. After some magical spankings and a round of apologies, the humans are off to the surface while the Merfolk city is spared further wizardly wrath. Even Paul Lloyd gets his regular arm back though he doesn’t deserve it, the jerk.