The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: conquest

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 481: DE STRUCTO

    (Big 3 002, 1940)

    De Structo (properly “Master-Mind” de Structo, but he’s only referred to in that way the once in-story) is a man with a dream, and that dream is to kill everyone in the US in a position of authority so that he can step in and take over society. To that end, he has his gang (grandiosely referred to as “Troopers”) distribute an “oxygen destroying ray” in vials (and here we’re going to have to assume that this is a “ray” in the sense of a radiation rather than a beam or that these are some amazing vials) near his targets in order to release them all simultaneously for maximum impact.

    And this is a thorough coup d’etat: not only is de Structo attempting to wipe out the government, state and local police, the intelligence services and the military but also publishers, bankers, industrialists, and doctors. I’ve heard of power vacuums but this is ridiculous. Fortunately for society, Stardust the Super Wizard shows up in time to save… most people.

    We’ve seen the cartoonish evil that is the hallmark of any good Fletcher Hanks comic and now it’s time for the over-the-top ironic punishment! First, de Structo is mutated until he is just an enormous head.

    As the giant spaceman says: this is because he attempted to destroy the heads of society.

    De Structo is then flung into the Space Pocket of Living Death, where the Headless Headhunter, the “hugest giant in the Universe” – who appears to be maybe 25 feet tall at most – eagerly absorbs him. It’s not quite an ironic punishment but it is gruesome – just what we expect from a Fletcher Hanks comic.

    As a bonus, all of de Structo’s henchmen are rounded up and compressed into a single being (presumably to save time) who is subsequently fired into space. Do Not Sin When Stardust Is Near, Mortals.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 474: KING OF THE USA

    (Amazing-Man Comics 020, 1941)

    The King of the USA, not unlike the Emperor of America before him, is a weirdo megalomaniac who lives in a hole, with the major difference being that while the Emperor was of course known for being surrounded by hunks the King lives alone. Note that this means that he personally scurried up to this office boy and delivered his own unhinged manifesto.

    If the King of the USA did have a few hunks around then maybe one of them might have pointed out a potential flaw in his plan: that basing your operation out of sewer might lead to some complications related to eg, flooding when you do things like collapse major parts of New York’s infrastructure with your disintegrator. And this theoretical hunk would be right! It’s just such a flood that brings Minimidget and Ritty to his door!

    Even more to the point: after Our Small Heroes drug his coffee and tie him up he ends up drowning in his sleep due to a flood caused when he collapses the Chrysler Building. Drainage: just one of the many oft-overlooked aspects of successful villain lair design.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 462: THE TRUSTEES OF HATE

    (Mystic Comics v1 004, 1940)

    The Trustees of Hate are a group of villains operating at least nominally along corporate lines, with strategy meetings, what appears to be a board of directors etc. Because their headquarters is in the evocatively named Horror Hall, on the border of the fictional European countries of Borsia and Gratzia, the Blue Blaze is given a new power especially so that he can go beat them up: he returns to his grave between cases and emerges from it again when he is needed, but the grave moves. Very eerie and also very funny if you picture his coffin burrowing through the dirt like a worm. Like I do.

    So just who are the Trustees of Hate?

    Dr Vortex: If the story hadn’t hit the “Trustees of Hate” angle so hard in the first few pages then this would be an entry on Dr Vortex with special mention of the Trustees as his well-named henchmen. As it stands, the Trustees were held up as a group threat and Dr Vortex is their leader. He’s your regular-style evil scientist and developer of the Hate Ray that is key to the Trustees’ plan.

    Lor: Lor is the Trustees’ hangman. There’s not a lot that you can say about him, as he keels over dead with a heart attack after seeing the Blue Blaze emerge from a lime pit (the second time this specific heart attack trigger happens in a Blue Blaze story, by the way). He does appear to love his job, so that’s something.

    Probably the most interesting thing about Lor is his design – I reckon that over the span of comics this sort of “generic punk” look might just be one of the more iconic designs for low-threat goons ad thugs but it’s fairly wild to see it in a comic from 1940.

    Lara: Every evil organization worth its salt has at least one hypercompetent woman making sure things run smoothly and for the Trustees of Hate that woman is Lara. Not only does Lara capture the Blue Blaze and make sure that the Trustees’ plans go off despite his interference but she is also the only member of the group to survive the adventure (spoiler). Here’s hoping that like Nalda after her she got away to some corner of the Marvel Universe to thrive in her own evil way. Perhaps they’re elderly evil business partners by now.


    Weasel: The only named member of the horde of gangsters and spies that make up the bulk of the organization. Weasel is shot by Lara after he is captured by the Blue Blaze and looks likely to spill his guts.

    The rest of them, meanwhile, are blown up by Dr Vortex in an attempt to kill the Blue Blaze.

    The Trustees’ actual plan involves Lara and others using Dr Vortex’ Hate Ray on the leaders of neighbouring European countries Borsia and Gratzia until a war happens. Once both countries have bombed each other to smithereens, the Trustees of Hate would move in and take over and/or loot both countries. Not a bad plan though if I were starting a war between two countries I might refrain from living on the border between the two. But what do I know – I’ve never invented any kind of ray.

    Despite the fact that most of the Trustees are already dead, Dr Vortex manages to capture the Blue Blaze. It’s hard to determine if he could have sealed the deal and actually bumped him off, because he commits the classic villain mistake and stops to gloat. COuld the Blue Blaze escape any time he wanted or was that cool cigarette just what he needed to recharge his power? We’ll never know.

    This is the last Blue Blaze story, and until someone brings him back again I’ll always picture him in his little coffin, burrowing through the earth like a worm, on his way to fight evil.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 457: THE BLACK HAWK

    (Mystic Comics v1 002, 1940)

    Scourge of the year 2300, the Black Hawk and his Mercurian space pirates loot the spaceways of radioactive plinium in a bid to take over the entire Solar System. He’s also a pretty bad father, a fact that comes back to bite him (fatally) when his daughter Alyse teams up with the Space Rangers to take him down.

    Kids, amirite?

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 382: THE MAN

    (More Fun Comics 066, 1941) 

    Out of nowhere one day, giant monsters attack Cliffland, New Jersey!

    After driving them off a couple of times, the Spectre manages to follow them back to their base of operations, a weird painting of unknown provenance hanging in a Cliffland museum. There he finds that the monsters reside in a metal city ruled over by a man referred to only as the Man.

    The Man is clearly modeled after the fascist dictators of the day and spends his time whipping his monstrous subjects into a frenzy prior to a wholesale invasion of the real world. While I don’t appreciate the attempted-destruction-of-humanity of it all I must admit that he has some wonderful turns of phrase. Maybe being a fictional entity allows you to tap into a poetical mindset more easily.

    The Man‘s schemes all come to nothing as the Spectre invades his world and decimates his forces, then overcomes the Man himself (despite the Man deploying not only a variety of magical powers but a surprise eleventh-hour monster transformation) and destroys both the painting and the world it contains.

    I have to say that despite not particularly loving the monster designs here I do love the idea of an outsider artist putting so much of themself into a work that it gains a life of its own. BRING BACK the Man, I say, whether in another work by the same artist or as a fictional parasite who appears in other paintings until he can find one that he can use as a portal to the real world. He would be a great addition to the ranks of the DCU’s magical weirdos.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 381: NYARL-AMEN

    (More Fun Comics 065, 1941)

    Okay, so the guy on the throne is Nyarl-Amen, AKA the Ancient One AKA the Lost Wisdom AKA the Wonder Wisdom. Fifty thousand years ago he ruled the world from beneath the waves as head of the Nyarl-Amen Dynasty.

    Nyarl-Amen has lived in the City of Nyarl-Amen for one hundred thousand years…

    His arsenal includes the Magic Eyes of Nyarl-Amen…

    And together with his minions the Fish Men of Nyarl-Amen he seeks to reconquer the world and presumably establish a Second Dynasty of Nyarl-Amen. Whatever you say about this civilization, “It has too many names,” can’t be one of them.

    The thing is, all this repetition has left me unsure just whether we’re dealing with an immortal fish-man sea-wizard attempting to reclaim his glory after 500 centuries or a city with an upstart ruler and bad imagination. I suppose whether it’s Nyarl-Amen the First or Nyarl-Amen the Six Hundred and Fifteenth doesn’t really matter since Dr Fate ends up blowing up every single Nyarl-Amen mentioned thusfar.

    These guys should 100% be BRUNG BACK for one simple reason: the best thing about Aquaman stories is the weird collection of pulp novel civilizations that coat the DCU seafloor and these fish-head weirdos would enhance that immeasurably.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 381: NYARL-AMEN

    (More Fun Comics 065, 1941)

    Okay, so the guy on the throne is Nyarl-Amen, AKA the Ancient One AKA the Lost Wisdom AKA the Wonder Wisdom. Fifty thousand years ago he ruled the world from beneath the waves as head of the Nyarl-Amen Dynasty.

    Nyarl-Amen has lived in the City of Nyarl-Amen for one hundred thousand years…

    His arsenal includes the Magic Eyes of Nyarl-Amen…

    And together with his minions the Fish Men of Nyarl-Amen he seeks to reconquer the world and presumably establish a Second Dynasty of Nyarl-Amen. Whatever you say about this civilization, “It has too many names,” can’t be one of them.

    The thing is, all this repetition has left me unsure just whether we’re dealing with an immortal fish-man sea-wizard attempting to reclaim his glory after 500 centuries or a city with an upstart ruler and bad imagination. I suppose whether it’s Nyarl-Amen the First or Nyarl-Amen the Six Hundred and Fifteenth doesn’t really matter since Dr Fate ends up blowing up every single Nyarl-Amen mentioned thusfar.

    These guys should 100% be BRUNG BACK for one simple reason: the best thing about Aquaman stories is the weird collection of pulp novel civilizations that coat the DCU seafloor and these fish-head weirdos would enhance that immeasurably.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 371: THE BLITZ GANG

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 371: THE BLITZ GANG

    (Minute-Man 002, 1941)

    AKA the Blitz Force AKA the Panzer Gang.

    I almost started out by saying that the idea of a criminal gang operating along military lines was an old one but no, it isn’t yet. It’s not a new idea – there might be half a dozen examples in this list so far and I’m sure it cropped up more than once in the pulps – but it’s not quite the mid-tier trope that it eventually will be.

    This time, the idea for a criminal army is inspired by US pre-war military training program crime czar Boss Donker and his don’t-say-he’s-a-Nazi pal Baron Marz have hatched a scheme that takes advantage of the readily-available supply of Army-trained men: arm them and loot cities wholesale (with an optional attempt to conquer the US for “the Fatherland,” wherever that is.

    And of course it all goes swimmingly until Minute-man shows up.

    The best part of the story by far is this bit here. Baron Marz has seemingly killed Minute-Man with a falling block of stone and Slippy, the only former gangster army recruit who doesn’t want to return to a life of crime, is about to take up the mantle in his honour. It’s actually kind of too bad that Minute-Man wasn’t actually dead, because having the identity change hands this way might have given him an interesting hook at last – maybe it could have been a series about person after person taking on th role of Minute-Man as needed and as the previous one falls instead of about a third-rate Captain America knockoff.

  • MINOR SUPER-HERO 330: RATHIA

    (Human Torch v1 005b, 1941)

    Bit of an unfair one here: Rathia is a princess of a Baltic kingdom of Atlanteans who persuades the Sub-Mariner to attempt world conquest. She is unquestionably a bad egg but by far the worst crimes of the issue are perpetuated by Namor himself and include: imprisoning and nearly killing Toro, mind controlling the Human Torch, flooding Africa and NYC, sinking the Italian Navy, nearly destroying Moscow and various war crimes. Crucially, Rathia does not exert any influence other than puffing up Namor’s ego – no mind control, nothing. Maybe a roll in the hay. Despite this, she is the one who stands trial as “World Enemy No. 2 – second only to Hitler!” while Namor just has to look contrite.

    In conclusion, this should probably be part of a Yearbook post about Namor but I am aggressively disinterested in him so Rathia takes the hit once again.  

    Seriously, look at this guy. Contemptible.

  • MINOR SUPER-HERO 330: RATHIA

    (Human Torch v1 005b, 1941)

    Bit of an unfair one here: Rathia is a princess of a Baltic kingdom of Atlanteans who persuades the Sub-Mariner to attempt world conquest. She is unquestionably a bad egg but by far the worst crimes of the issue are perpetuated by Namor himself and include: imprisoning and nearly killing Toro, mind controlling the Human Torch, flooding Africa and NYC, sinking the Italian Navy, nearly destroying Moscow and various war crimes. Crucially, Rathia does not exert any influence other than puffing up Namor’s ego – no mind control, nothing. Maybe a roll in the hay. Despite this, she is the one who stands trial as “World Enemy No. 2 – second only to Hitler!” while Namor just has to look contrite.

    In conclusion, this should probably be part of a Yearbook post about Namor but I am aggressively disinterested in him so Rathia takes the hit once again.  

    Seriously, look at this guy. Contemptible.