The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: conquest

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 210: THE SPECTRE

    (Crackajack Funnies 035-037, 1941) 

    There’s a lot to like about the Spectre. His motivation is okay – his face was blasted off by American shelling in WWI and he wants revenge – and his execution is nonexistent as he ends up getting caught during the planning and preparation stage. It’s the trappings that really do it for me.

    Fist up: costumes. The Spectre’s own is okay, but I have nothing but joy in my heart when I see henchmen dressed in such simple yet effective outfits. Stylish, easily recognizable, easy to remove in a pinch… they have it all!

    Next: lore. The Spectre’s story isn’t told until the third issue of the three he appears in but part of it is that in the 20 years since he vowed revenge on America he hasn’t slept, and in support of this, in basically every panel he appears in he is chugging coffee. A small but fun (and visually charming) detail.

    Finally: progressive values. All of the above panels feature a blonde woman. This is Miss Owl, the Owl’s fiancé/ crimefighting partner who has been captured in the mistaken belief that she herself is the Owl. And the Spectre – outbursts about “American women” aside – is perfectly willing to accept this, and to accept the services of a seemingly turncoat Owl. He might be a partially-exploded revenge-driven warmonger who probably went insane from lack of sleep decades ago but he isn’t a misogynist.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 187: THE MASTER

    (Crack Comics 006, 1940)

    The best thing about the Master is absolutely his henchmen, the Kite Men. Identical shirtless bald guys who shoot lightning from their bracelets as they soar above unnamed, probably American cities, the Kite Men are some terrific weirdo henchmen. They all get blasted by the Black Condor by the end of the story, but until then they have a good run.

    The Master himself is your typical world conqueror, whose motivation seems to be that he’s sick of being laughed at because he’s a dwarf. And as if to illustrate, when Black Condor discovers the leader of this plot who has already killed tens or hundreds of thousands of people, he too laughs. HE’S PART OF THE PROBLEM.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 180: KING OF THE CRATER

    (Captain Marvel Adventures 005, 1941)

    This rockabilly-looking feller is King of the Crater and I like him quite a bit. His plan, as laid out above, is to weaponize a seam of magma that runs under the Rockies and the Andes in order to lay claim to a strip of territory running the length of the Americas. It’s not a bad plan if you subscribe to the attitude that violent conquest is an acceptable means of achieving control over territory. Or that control over territory is a desirable end in itself, I guess. 

    It is a plan that is vulnerable to the supposition that it might just be easier to establish a lucrative monopoly on geothermal power production, of course. Also Captain Marvel. The plan is and was vulnerable to Captain Marvel.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 113: RAYMOND RALL

    (More Fun 062, 1940)

    Look at this damn nerd. He’s got a lightning cannon and a robot army and he bothered Dr Fate for a whole afternoon. Good riddance to him, I say. Raymond Rall. Ridiculous.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 112: THE CRIME LORD/ THE BRAIN

    (More Fun Comics 062, 1940) 

    An early iteration of the classic tale of a brain that is freed of its cranium and becomes both powerful and EVIL, originally just a man named Dexter with a skeletal system and all the organs, he then became a mysterious shadowy figure named the Crime Lord as he directed his minions toward an eventual takeover of the US.

    Upon being freed from his bell jar, the Crime Lord became the rapidly-expanding Brain, who similarly grew his ambitions: no longer interested in conquest on a national level, he was now going to expand to fill the entire universe. And he might have gotten away with it if the Spectre hadn’t shown up to shrivel him away to nothingness.

    Bonus: the Spectre eating a bullet to save FDR.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 112: THE CRIME LORD/ THE BRAIN

    (More Fun Comics 062, 1940) 

    An early iteration of the classic tale of a brain that is freed of its cranium and becomes both powerful and EVIL, originally just a man named Dexter with a skeletal system and all the organs, he then became a mysterious shadowy figure named the Crime Lord as he directed his minions toward an eventual takeover of the US.

    Upon being freed from his bell jar, the Crime Lord became the rapidly-expanding Brain, who similarly grew his ambitions: no longer interested in conquest on a national level, he was now going to expand to fill the entire universe. And he might have gotten away with it if the Spectre hadn’t shown up to shrivel him away to nothingness.

    Bonus: the Spectre eating a bullet to save FDR.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 110: THE NORNS

    (More Fun Comics 060, 1940)

    Here’s the thing about these guys: they probably aren’t the Norns and they probably don’t call themselves the Norns. They’re three giant purple guys who hang out in a cave in the Catskills and send a flying saucer full of little green guys to attack NYC, ostensibly to conquer it. But! Earlier in the story:

    … Dr Fate is reading a book about the Fates when Inza comes to tell him about the saucer attack, and then jumps to the conclusion that they are the same as the purple guys when he sees three people together. It’s weird!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 110: THE NORNS

    (More Fun Comics 060, 1940)

    Here’s the thing about these guys: they probably aren’t the Norns and they probably don’t call themselves the Norns. They’re three giant purple guys who hang out in a cave in the Catskills and send a flying saucer full of little green guys to attack NYC, ostensibly to conquer it. But! Earlier in the story:

    … Dr Fate is reading a book about the Fates when Inza comes to tell him about the saucer attack, and then jumps to the conclusion that they are the same as the purple guys when he sees three people together. It’s weird!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 097: THE WIZARD

    (More Fun Comics 052-054, 1940)

    The Wizard is the kind of guy you get in comics who develops a robot army and a few different types of rays, destructive and otherwise, and immediately turns around and takes over (what I assume to be) his home town. I do appreciate that he looks like someone who has been sitting in a basement or a cave soldering robot faces for twenty years, but it’s no excuse for incivility.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 097: THE WIZARD

    (More Fun Comics 052-054, 1940)

    The Wizard is the kind of guy you get in comics who develops a robot army and a few different types of rays, destructive and otherwise, and immediately turns around and takes over (what I assume to be) his home town. I do appreciate that he looks like someone who has been sitting in a basement or a cave soldering robot faces for twenty years, but it’s no excuse for incivility.