The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: conquest

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 576: GRUNDO THE GREAT

    (Champion Comics 010, 1940)

    There are a few things to like about Grundo the Great: his mustache, his name which sounds like it’s what Miss Grundy would be called in a 1960s Archie Comics fantasy series about the heroic students battling the teachers as evil warlords, the fact that he has a “crew of mad chemists and technicians” in his mountaintop castle somewhere in the Midwestern US… Lot of good stuff. His ultimate aim, to take over America, is a little standard but you have to admit that it’s villainous.

    If Grundo (his real name, by the way: Lars Grundo) has a major flaw, it’s in going too big, too early. In order to raise funds for his mad science crew he pulls a heist of the fabulous Taj Mah Jewels while they are being transported by plane, exactly the kind of crime that attracts the attention of a super-hero like the Human Meteor.

    (side note: this is the second “Taj Mahal Jewels” sound-alike I’ve encountered from the year 1940 – the first being the Green Mask and the Taj Lamah Jewels – and that’s the sort of coincidence that makes me think that there was a famous Taj Mahal Jewels exhibition in 1939 or 1940. Turns out that “Taj Mahal” is one of those search terms that really blows out your results with a lot of unrelated information. There was a “Taj Mahal Emerald” on display at the 1939 NY World’s Fair but that’s about as far as I’m going to get without doing actual research so I’ll just assume that that’s what inspired both)

    The Human Meteor does take an interest, and makes his way to Grundo’s mountain fastness. Grundo employs a really fantastic deathtrap: a door that opens up onto a sheer cliff that a puruer can be baited into charging through. It only works on an enemy who can’t fly, unfortunately for Grundo.

    Grundo and his crew are so completely outclassed by the Human Meteor that it’s a bit of a mercy when they are all blown to high heaven by their own bombs. Perhaps they would have had more of a chance to shine if they had faced off against a slightly less superhuman foe.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 574: DUKE DAROLDI

    (Champion Comics 007, 1940) 

    Someone is kidnapping foreign dignitaries and then hanging their skeletons in public spaces! Weird! Sinister! Diplomatically complicated!

    The culprit turns out to be gang boss Duke Daroldi, who is killing the diplomats as part of an attempt to involve the US in WWII and then step in and take over once the combatants are all sufficiently weakened. This is a stunningly hubristic plan, especially considering the maybe five other guys in Daroldi’s gang. I assume that the steps goes something like:

    1. kill diplomats

    2. draw the US into the war in Europe

    3. ????

    4. profit

    We never get to see Duke Daroldi’s plan come to fruition, because Johnny Fox is on the case. He infiltrates Daroldi’s yacht using the surefire “get captured” method, escapes, is recaptured, learns that the diplomats are being skeletonized using the old classic method: a school of piranhas, escapes again and finally engages Daroldi in a high-stakes fistfight in the yacht’s crow’s nest. 

    Daroldi ultimately meets his end, not in his own piranha tank as would be narratively satisfying, but in a simple fall after being uppercutted out of the ship’s rigging by Johnny Fox. No followthrough. No commitment to the bit. Finis.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 574: DUKE DAROLDI

    (Champion Comics 007, 1940) 

    Someone is kidnapping foreign dignitaries and then hanging their skeletons in public spaces! Weird! Sinister! Diplomatically complicated!

    The culprit turns out to be gang boss Duke Daroldi, who is killing the diplomats as part of an attempt to involve the US in WWII and then step in and take over once the combatants are all sufficiently weakened. This is a stunningly hubristic plan, especially considering the maybe five other guys in Daroldi’s gang. I assume that the steps goes something like:

    1. kill diplomats

    2. draw the US into the war in Europe

    3. ????

    4. profit

    We never get to see Duke Daroldi’s plan come to fruition, because Johnny Fox is on the case. He infiltrates Daroldi’s yacht using the surefire “get captured” method, escapes, is recaptured, learns that the diplomats are being skeletonized using the old classic method: a school of piranhas, escapes again and finally engages Daroldi in a high-stakes fistfight in the yacht’s crow’s nest. 

    Daroldi ultimately meets his end, not in his own piranha tank as would be narratively satisfying, but in a simple fall after being uppercutted out of the ship’s rigging by Johnny Fox. No followthrough. No commitment to the bit. Finis.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 569: NEPTINA

    (Champion Comics 002, 1939) 

    I can’t say for sure that whoever created Neptina sat down and said “I will make a lady version of Namor the Sub-Mariner” but it’s at least plausible. Neptina is the ruler of the undersea kingdom of Amloza, and has designs on a total conquest of the surface world as well as the depths.

    Neptina is, like Namor, a horny character. She captures US Navy Lieutenant Brad Fletcher early in her series and spends a considerable amount of mental, martial and political energy in subsequent installments in service of keeping him near her and away from other women.

    (note the little tuning fork thing that Neptina is holding – it works in concert with a telepathic receiver as a form of communication for the Fish-Men of Amloza. There are lots and lots of panels featuring characters who look like they’re playing with a toy from the 1920s when in fact they are talking to one another. It’s fun!)

    Neptina is shown to be a ruthless slaver with ranks of surface men pillaged from ships and equipped with gills in place of their human lungs. The reverse operation can be performed on Fish-Men to allow them to become fully amphibious, though the lungs involved must be harvested from a human. Neptina’s vanity is showcased when she demands that the lungs for her operation be harvested from a beautiful woman only. This also proves to be Neptina’s first major stumbling block, as Brad Fletcher immediately falls in love with movie star Norma Kane when she is brought to Amloza, and rescuing her is one of his major motivations for disrupting Neptina’s plans in early installments.

    More interesting than Neptina’s schemes is the biology of Amloza’s population. There appear to be at least two biological castes, with more humanoid Fish-Men Nobles like Brad Fletcher’s friend Gakk holding higher station than the fish-headed commoners (Neptina’s chief scientist Mogg is a regular Fish-Man and probably the most competent character in the comic, in a welcome nod to the foolishness of biological determinism).

    Complicating things further is the fact that the female population of Amloza appears to consist entirely of bodacious blonde babes in shell bras. If it were just Neptina I’d figure that she was a surface woman somehow elevated to the throne (the racial politics of the time would almost demand that a non-white/nonhuman group would instinctively subjugate themselves to a blonde bombshell), but this suggests the kind of sexual dimorphism we see in fantasy and sci-fi character design (mildly NSFW comic, but Oglaf as a whole is wildly NSFW).

    The other option, and the one I favour, is that the group represented by Neptina and the Fish-Men are two morphologically distinct but related species operating as a unified society – perhaps the Neptinans are naturally parthogenic (sp) which explains their seeming single gender, while the Fish-Men could lack any sexual dimorphism. The Fish-Men Nobles would thus represent hybrids of the two populations and thus their role as nobles could be seen as a bridge between the two.

    Speculative biology aside, here’s a timeline of Neptina’s deal:

    -after Brad Fletcher and Norma Kane escape, she acquires lungs from a second, less fortunate surface woman and makes her way to NYC.

    -while attempting to raise capital by selling some huge pearls, Neptina runs afoul of both the NYPD and a gang of crooks, who foolishly attempt to get rid of her via drowning and end up on the bottom of the harbour themselves.

    -the pearls in question are the sacred Tear Drops of Neptune and scientist Mogg, already a mite anti-monarchist in his leanings, embarks on a) a mission to recover them and b) an attempt to undermine Neptina’s plans of conquest.

    -also set against Neptina: Gakk the Fish-Man Noble and her own half-sister Mhersa, leader of a rebel group called the Maella.

    -Brad returns with a diplomatic envoy. Things are tense but civil until the surface folk help drive off an invasion by Dhakka Snail-Men. At this point, Neptina effectively reforms – Mogg has even seemingly forgiven her for making off with the sacred pearls. More dark: the US Government in the form of Brad Fletcher has forgiven her for the many crimes against its citizens in pursuit of a powerful alliance. 

    As 1940 closes, Brad, Norma, Neptina and Mogg are stranded mid-ocean and Mhersa has taken over Amloza. Will she be villainous enough to appear here? Find out when I make my way to the 1941 issues of Champ Comics!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 569: NEPTINA

    (Champion Comics 002, 1939) 

    I can’t say for sure that whoever created Neptina sat down and said “I will make a lady version of Namor the Sub-Mariner” but it’s at least plausible. Neptina is the ruler of the undersea kingdom of Amloza, and has designs on a total conquest of the surface world as well as the depths.

    Neptina is, like Namor, a horny character. She captures US Navy Lieutenant Brad Fletcher early in her series and spends a considerable amount of mental, martial and political energy in subsequent installments in service of keeping him near her and away from other women.

    (note the little tuning fork thing that Neptina is holding – it works in concert with a telepathic receiver as a form of communication for the Fish-Men of Amloza. There are lots and lots of panels featuring characters who look like they’re playing with a toy from the 1920s when in fact they are talking to one another. It’s fun!)

    Neptina is shown to be a ruthless slaver with ranks of surface men pillaged from ships and equipped with gills in place of their human lungs. The reverse operation can be performed on Fish-Men to allow them to become fully amphibious, though the lungs involved must be harvested from a human. Neptina’s vanity is showcased when she demands that the lungs for her operation be harvested from a beautiful woman only. This also proves to be Neptina’s first major stumbling block, as Brad Fletcher immediately falls in love with movie star Norma Kane when she is brought to Amloza, and rescuing her is one of his major motivations for disrupting Neptina’s plans in early installments.

    More interesting than Neptina’s schemes is the biology of Amloza’s population. There appear to be at least two biological castes, with more humanoid Fish-Men Nobles like Brad Fletcher’s friend Gakk holding higher station than the fish-headed commoners (Neptina’s chief scientist Mogg is a regular Fish-Man and probably the most competent character in the comic, in a welcome nod to the foolishness of biological determinism).

    Complicating things further is the fact that the female population of Amloza appears to consist entirely of bodacious blonde babes in shell bras. If it were just Neptina I’d figure that she was a surface woman somehow elevated to the throne (the racial politics of the time would almost demand that a non-white/nonhuman group would instinctively subjugate themselves to a blonde bombshell), but this suggests the kind of sexual dimorphism we see in fantasy and sci-fi character design (mildly NSFW comic, but Oglaf as a whole is wildly NSFW).

    The other option, and the one I favour, is that the group represented by Neptina and the Fish-Men are two morphologically distinct but related species operating as a unified society – perhaps the Neptinans are naturally parthogenic (sp) which explains their seeming single gender, while the Fish-Men could lack any sexual dimorphism. The Fish-Men Nobles would thus represent hybrids of the two populations and thus their role as nobles could be seen as a bridge between the two.

    Speculative biology aside, here’s a timeline of Neptina’s deal:

    -after Brad Fletcher and Norma Kane escape, she acquires lungs from a second, less fortunate surface woman and makes her way to NYC.

    -while attempting to raise capital by selling some huge pearls, Neptina runs afoul of both the NYPD and a gang of crooks, who foolishly attempt to get rid of her via drowning and end up on the bottom of the harbour themselves.

    -the pearls in question are the sacred Tear Drops of Neptune and scientist Mogg, already a mite anti-monarchist in his leanings, embarks on a) a mission to recover them and b) an attempt to undermine Neptina’s plans of conquest.

    -also set against Neptina: Gakk the Fish-Man Noble and her own half-sister Mhersa, leader of a rebel group called the Maella.

    -Brad returns with a diplomatic envoy. Things are tense but civil until the surface folk help drive off an invasion by Dhakka Snail-Men. At this point, Neptina effectively reforms – Mogg has even seemingly forgiven her for making off with the sacred pearls. More dark: the US Government in the form of Brad Fletcher has forgiven her for the many crimes against its citizens in pursuit of a powerful alliance. 

    As 1940 closes, Brad, Norma, Neptina and Mogg are stranded mid-ocean and Mhersa has taken over Amloza. Will she be villainous enough to appear here? Find out when I make my way to the 1941 issues of Champ Comics!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 543: VLAMIR KORAN

    (Smash Comics 001, 1939)

    Vlamir Koran, Argentinean Adolf Hitler pastiche in charge of Nazi pastiche the Black Spot, takes over the entirety of South America in about half a page, because the real action of the story is centred around his attempt to continue his conquering ways into the United States.

    Koran’s first couple of attempts to invade the US are stymied by technology and tactics, so he hires the “greatest of all spies”, Mata Hari pastiche Mara Hani, to infiltrate the US military and steal their secrets. At this point Vlamir Koran effectively leaves the comic and the action shifts to a cat-and-mouse game of espionage between Mara Hani and Black X over possession of US defense plans.

    Although Mara Hani starts strong by vamping the plans out of a young and horny military engineer, Black X gets ’em back on the boat voyage back to South America and the goal of the cat-and-mousing switches to Mara Hani attempting to prevent Black X from reaching anti-Koran partisan Emanuel Hasana, who simultaneously has enough martial and political clout that he can shift the entire balance of South American power and little enough volition that he won’t emerge from his tiny jungle fort without US sayso.

    Mara Hani gets jaguared pretty good and Black X almost kills himself dragging her to the fort using his bullet-riddled body. And then she dies anyway.

    Luckily, the fifty guys that Hasana had in that fort were the real key to defeating Vlamir Koran, and South America is free to return to its old political state and borders with no lasting ramifications to the time everyone was conquered by fascist Argentina. Emanuel Hassan doesn’t even annex a couple of the smaller countries for himself! All this big talk about loving America and then he passes up a prime opportunity to emulate them.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 535: VON HAUPT

    (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939)

    Von Haupt is  more like a journey through the traits and attributes of a style of  super-crook than a character: Aviator Captain Kidd is flying over an unspecified jungle when his plane is forced down by an engine-killing ray. Captured by costumed goons, Kidd is brought to a jungle fortress before a vaguely European man  with a German-sounding last name and a monocle. Though threatening, this exchange turns out to be a job interview, as von Haupt needs a few good men to help him take over  the world.

    Von Haupt claims to be (and indeed is) physically immortal due to his experiments but makes sure to clearly signpost his weak point, a withered hand encased in a keen metal gauntlet.

    He demonstrates his power, as well as the razor sharp claws on his gauntlet.

    And finally falls from grace (into vat of sulphur). The weak point comes into play as the gauntlet comes off. The fortress explodes, but Captain Kidd gets out in the nick of time.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 534: THE BRAIN

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 534: THE BRAIN

    (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939)

    We open on Space Smith and his girlfriend Dianna (sometimes Diana) having a trans-Lunar space-date ruined by Martian Imp Men and I am immediately struck with the dilemma engendered by nearly all Fletcher Hanks stories: follow through on my impulses and post most if not all panels or be judicious for the sake of space and readability? I went with the latter but it hurt.

    So in lieu of my posting every panel that features the great/horrible Martian Imp Men let’s just pause and appreciate how great they are.

    Space Smith and Dianna awaken in the laboratory of the great Martian scientist Skomah and learn that they have been kidnapped by Skomah’s 7th son, also called Skomah, aka the Brain, aka the Central Brain aka the Great Martian Central Brain.

    Really appreciate the detail that the Brain’s head is so big that it has to be held up with two special robot arms.

    Like a lot of big head smart guys, the Brain is convinced that it is his destiny to rule all of creation and is planning to start with Earth. He’s also a huge creep in the same was as a lot of those guys and a lot of super-villains in general, in the “capture a woman and declare that she will be your queen” way.

    Luckily for Dianna, a guy with a head so big he is literally bolted to the ground is not the hardest guy to get away from, even if he has a bunch of D&D 5e kobolds working for him. She and Space Smith get away incredibly easily, in fact, and spend the next few issues trying to get back to Mars to put a permanent end to Skomah the 7th (they never do actually get there. Perhaps they just lost interest when it became clear that the Brain was all talk. Or Fletcher Hanks just forgot).

    BONUS MAN-EATING MARTIAN MOSQUITO

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 533: THORGA

    (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939) 

    Thorga! Exiled from Western society because of his “mad plans”, he emerges from the mountains of Tibet with a high-tech army, intent on conquering Europe!

    Thorga! He fields a mighty airforce of advanced planes, a mechanized infantry of advanced tanks!

    Thorga! He is the first foe faced by Fox Features’ Samson and so his main role is as a demonstration of Samson’s power as he destroys not only the planes and tanks but the regular infantry to boot (who, might I note, are not only dressed in excellent henchman costumes but apparently referred to as “Thorganians”, a top-notch henchman name).

    Thorga, not only defeated by Samson, not only killed by Samson but buried under the wreckage of his lab in a callback to Original Samson’s final hurrah.

    Thorga. He served his purpose.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 527: THE GREEN GHOUL

    (Blue Ribbon Comics 016, 1941)

    The Green Ghoul is a demonic creature either summoned or created by the demon known as the Dictator as a very successful method of getting Mr Justice to leave him alone. He appears on a US beach and lays waste to an unfortunate couple before heading to the unnamed New York City-alike that Mr Justice calls home.

    Like I said, the Green Ghoul is a distraction, so it’s understandable that its plans lack nuance. To whit, his initial plan is just indiscriminate slaughter.

    Having lured Mr Justice back from Europe, the Green Ghoul now needs to occupy his attention, and having murdered and possessed Assistant Mayor Tracey Keen he sets his sights on conquering Unnamed City.

    Also, he LOOKS GREAT. There could e a conversation about how nobody noticed that Keen was obviously a possessed corpse but he is a previously unseen character created expressly for the purpose of being killed off in this story, so maybe he was just Like That already and the Green Ghoul got lucky.

    For a being of great if undefined infernal power, the Ghoul’s plans for municipal domination are surprisingly conventional: he wants to become the mayor. Granted, he wants to do so by killing and possessing the incumbent but it’s still fairly mundane as far as demonic power plays go. Fortunately for Mayor Clark he is unlike his assistant a member in good standing of Mr Justice’s supporting cast and so the various attempts on his life are foiled.

    There’s a bit of story padding in which Mr Justice and the Green Ghoul (plus Mr Justice love interest Pat Clark) duke it out in a dinosaur-infested subatomic world but things eventually come to a head in the space between the mundane world and the spiritual one, one of the few places that an immortal being can be killed, where the Ghoul hopes to do just that to Mr Justice. Unfortunately for the Ghoul, the immortal killing golden knife cuts two ways and he ends up as a cloud of green ocean pollutants.

    killed because he challenges mr justice to a battle to the death in the void between – cuts both ways