The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: submarine pirates

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 028

    These guys use science for crime and evil, for which we excoriate them, but they also make entertaining villains, for which we celebrate them. 

    Dr Stone:

    Dr Elijah Stone has a calling and it is in creating and disseminating deadly plagues upon mankind. This, however, is the kind of passion that society frowns upon and Stone is locked away in the State Mental Hospital. Unfortunately for mankind, the State Mental Hospital seems to be one of those places that contracts its security out to the lowest bidder, because Stone escapes in no time flat.

    Sure enough, there is soon a hot new Dr Stone plague ravaging humanity. This quiet New England Town is absolutely screwed, and the rest of the world is soon to follow if someone doesn’t do something soon.

    Enter time/space explorer Whiz Wilson, who pops into the future to a time when there simply must be a cure and is referred to the Medical Center on Mars. His quest hits a small speedbump when the Martian doctor turns out to actually be Dr Stone in disguise – it seems that when not making plagues Stone has dabbled in chronal physics and has independently developed Futurescope technology. He has been using the future as a home base to culture up enough plague germs to wipe out 1941 humanity in one fell swoop, after which he will enjoy some alone time on an unpopulated planet. 

    Whiz Wilson smashes Stone’s Futurescope and makes off with his personal supply of anti-plague serum but is forced to let the man himself escape. Both Stone and the text boxes set up Dr Stone as an upcoming recurring nemesis for Whiz to deal with, presumably in different time periods, but his evil plans are foiled by the fact that this is the final Whiz Wilson story. (Lightning Comics v2 004, 1941)

    Professor Hanley:

    Professor Hanley is one of the many comic book scientists whose development of a means of making artificial diamonds is seen as dangerous and/or criminal by a super-hero. Hanley is at least attempting to pass artificial diamonds off as natural ones so I guess this counts as selling counterfeit good, but I still think that this is not worth your time, the Angel. (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 014, 1940)

    Howland:

    Howland, the second and final foe faced by Sky Wizard, has been causing mass chaos by sending out his army of humanoid robots to loot and kill. He also has a real “evil Vulcan” look that I appreciate.

    In addition to the extremely nifty robots (called the Robot Terrors by one and all, though I suspect that Howland just adopted the very cool name after he heard Sky Wizard use it), Howland is notable for creating these deathtraps that kill their victims by dropping slats out from under their feet at a rate of one per five seconds and then leaving them to dangle and strangle thanks to the tight neck shackle. This is pretty gruesome, but it’s also very quick, and Howland still manages to be out of the room when Sky Wizard and his aide Keeshan manage to escape. 

    Let’s be clear: I was already worked up about this before I noticed that he says how many slats there are because even at, say, one hundred slats that’s only eight and a half minutes, but no, it’s six slats. That’s thirty seconds, Howland. You’re too busy to wait thirty seconds for a super-hero to die? I don’t even feel sorry for you that you eventually die at the cold metal hands of your own robots, because I only feel contempt. (Miracle Comics 004, 1941)

    Captain Kiddlaw:

    Captain Kiddlaw, the Wizard-Pirate, is a scientific scoundrel who vexes the Super Police of the far-flung year 2023. His scheme involves dragging passing cruise ships to the bottom of the ocean for loot and slaves and is never technically foiled due to the cancellation of the “Super Police 2023” serial. They probably get him eventually, though. (New Fun Comics 002, 1935)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 028

    MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 028

    These guys use science for crime and evil, for which we excoriate them, but they also make entertaining villains, for which we celebrate them. 

    Dr Stone:

    Dr Elijah Stone has a calling and it is in creating and disseminating deadly plagues upon mankind. This, however, is the kind of passion that society frowns upon and Stone is locked away in the State Mental Hospital. Unfortunately for mankind, the State Mental Hospital seems to be one of those places that contracts its security out to the lowest bidder, because Stone escapes in no time flat.

    Sure enough, there is soon a hot new Dr Stone plague ravaging humanity. This quiet New England Town is absolutely screwed, and the rest of the world is soon to follow if someone doesn’t do something soon.

    Enter time/space explorer Whiz Wilson, who pops into the future to a time when there simply must be a cure and is referred to the Medical Center on Mars. His quest hits a small speedbump when the Martian doctor turns out to actually be Dr Stone in disguise – it seems that when not making plagues Stone has dabbled in chronal physics and has independently developed Futurescope technology. He has been using the future as a home base to culture up enough plague germs to wipe out 1941 humanity in one fell swoop, after which he will enjoy some alone time on an unpopulated planet. 

    Whiz Wilson smashes Stone’s Futurescope and makes off with his personal supply of anti-plague serum but is forced to let the man himself escape. Both Stone and the text boxes set up Dr Stone as an upcoming recurring nemesis for Whiz to deal with, presumably in different time periods, but his evil plans are foiled by the fact that this is the final Whiz Wilson story. (Lightning Comics v2 004, 1941)

    Professor Hanley:

    Professor Hanley is one of the many comic book scientists whose development of a means of making artificial diamonds is seen as dangerous and/or criminal by a super-hero. Hanley is at least attempting to pass artificial diamonds off as natural ones so I guess this counts as selling counterfeit good, but I still think that this is not worth your time, the Angel. (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 014, 1940)

    Howland:

    Howland, the second and final foe faced by Sky Wizard, has been causing mass chaos by sending out his army of humanoid robots to loot and kill. He also has a real “evil Vulcan” look that I appreciate.

    In addition to the extremely nifty robots (called the Robot Terrors by one and all, though I suspect that Howland just adopted the very cool name after he heard Sky Wizard use it), Howland is notable for creating these deathtraps that kill their victims by dropping slats out from under their feet at a rate of one per five seconds and then leaving them to dangle and strangle thanks to the tight neck shackle. This is pretty gruesome, but it’s also very quick, and Howland still manages to be out of the room when Sky Wizard and his aide Keeshan manage to escape. 

    Let’s be clear: I was already worked up about this before I noticed that he says how many slats there are because even at, say, one hundred slats that’s only eight and a half minutes, but no, it’s six slats. That’s thirty seconds, Howland. You’re too busy to wait thirty seconds for a super-hero to die? I don’t even feel sorry for you that you eventually die at the cold metal hands of your own robots, because I only feel contempt. (Miracle Comics 004, 1941)

    Captain Kiddlaw:

    Captain Kiddlaw, the Wizard-Pirate, is a scientific scoundrel who vexes the Super Police of the far-flung year 2023. His scheme involves dragging passing cruise ships to the bottom of the ocean for loot and slaves and is never technically foiled due to the cancellation of the “Super Police 2023” serial. They probably get him eventually, though. (New Fun Comics 002, 1935)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 982: CAPTAIN MARS

    (The Funnies 062, 1941)

    “Rex, King of the Deep” is an adventure strip that ran in The Funnies 037 through to 063, the final issue. It stars titular King of the Deep Rex Withers, a wealthy young man who decides to put his money toward the betterment of humanity by funding the construction of a Super-Submarine designed by his friend Professor Bidoux. Over the next couple of years worth of comics he and his ever-expanding cast of associates (the Professor, second-in-command Tim and his own, less super submarine, former shipwreck victim Nan Barlow, young stowaway Butch, a large and mostly nameless crew of submariners) work to keep the seas safe for innocent travellers, at first independently and later on behalf of the Allied Powers. If you like comics about submarine combat I’m sure it’s perfectly thrilling but I personally find it to be a bit of a slog.

    Until, that is, The Funnies 061, in which Rex and his pals fend off a mysterious submarine attack on a convoy that they have been escorting across the Atlantic. They win handily and then follow the survivors with an eye toward discovering their base of operations, and are very surprised to find that it is an enormous, mobile undersea facility. This is the home of Captain Mars, who is not the commander of some Axis superweapon as they must have initially believed, but a highly ambitious and technologically proficient submarine pirate, which is possibly my second favourite kind of pirate after space!

    The centrepiece of Mars’ operation is his headquarters, which is frankly enormous. Not only can it easily accommodate the already huge Super-Sub in its docking bay, but there are frequent references to buildings and streets, and in The Funnies 063 Rex evades some pursuers by swinging on some vines that are hanging from what appears to be a full-grown oak tree in a courtyard and landing on the other side of a garden wall. They have so much extra space inside of this thing that they’re doing landscaping.

    Captain Mars has the classic Bad Boss and Bombastic Speechifying genes that are common to many super-villains, and which are almost certainly a necessity for anyone looking to set up shop as a submarine pirate. I would still recommend that he reconsider his policy of shooting his subordinates for “failures” such as disengaging from a combat engagement before their vessel was destroyed. If nothing else it must be terrible for morale.

    Despite the might of his base and the fact that he has cool holographic communication technology, Captain Mars is undone by Rex’s Underwater Tank, which was merely a useful tool in the first few of his adventures but which seems to also be an unstoppable war machine capable of defeating all barriers and attacks.

    Sadly, the cancellation of The Funnies brings with it a premature end to “Rex, King of the Deep,” just as Mars managed to bamboozle Rex out of the Underwater Tank and repurpose it as a coastal raider. While the original plan for the comic must have been for Rex to escape and reclaim his property and possibly even take the underwater base for his own, as it stands Captain Mars is forever ascendant. 

    Categorized in: Generica (Captains), Famous Figures (Mars), Theft (Submarine Pirates) 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 982: CAPTAIN MARS

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 982: CAPTAIN MARS

    (The Funnies 062, 1941)

    “Rex, King of the Deep” is an adventure strip that ran in The Funnies 037 through to 063, the final issue. It stars titular King of the Deep Rex Withers, a wealthy young man who decides to put his money toward the betterment of humanity by funding the construction of a Super-Submarine designed by his friend Professor Bidoux. Over the next couple of years worth of comics he and his ever-expanding cast of associates (the Professor, second-in-command Tim and his own, less super submarine, former shipwreck victim Nan Barlow, young stowaway Butch, a large and mostly nameless crew of submariners) work to keep the seas safe for innocent travellers, at first independently and later on behalf of the Allied Powers. If you like comics about submarine combat I’m sure it’s perfectly thrilling but I personally find it to be a bit of a slog.

    Until, that is, The Funnies 061, in which Rex and his pals fend off a mysterious submarine attack on a convoy that they have been escorting across the Atlantic. They win handily and then follow the survivors with an eye toward discovering their base of operations, and are very surprised to find that it is an enormous, mobile undersea facility. This is the home of Captain Mars, who is not the commander of some Axis superweapon as they must have initially believed, but a highly ambitious and technologically proficient submarine pirate, which is possibly my second favourite kind of pirate after space!

    The centrepiece of Mars’ operation is his headquarters, which is frankly enormous. Not only can it easily accommodate the already huge Super-Sub in its docking bay, but there are frequent references to buildings and streets, and in The Funnies 063 Rex evades some pursuers by swinging on some vines that are hanging from what appears to be a full-grown oak tree in a courtyard and landing on the other side of a garden wall. They have so much extra space inside of this thing that they’re doing landscaping.

    Captain Mars has the classic Bad Boss and Bombastic Speechifying genes that are common to many super-villains, and which are almost certainly a necessity for anyone looking to set up shop as a submarine pirate. I would still recommend that he reconsider his policy of shooting his subordinates for “failures” such as disengaging from a combat engagement before their vessel was destroyed. If nothing else it must be terrible for morale.

    Despite the might of his base and the fact that he has cool holographic communication technology, Captain Mars is undone by Rex’s Underwater Tank, which was merely a useful tool in the first few of his adventures but which seems to also be an unstoppable war machine capable of defeating all barriers and attacks.

    Sadly, the cancellation of The Funnies brings with it a premature end to “Rex, King of the Deep,” just as Mars managed to bamboozle Rex out of the Underwater Tank and repurpose it as a coastal raider. While the original plan for the comic must have been for Rex to escape and reclaim his property and possibly even take the underwater base for his own, as it stands Captain Mars is forever ascendant. 

    Categorized in: Generica (Captains), Famous Figures (Mars), Theft (Submarine Pirates) 

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 026

    A wretched and motley crew for ye this day. 

    Mikal, leader of the undersea pirates, is an evocative figure who exists only to pad out the Typhon story that he appears in by a couple of pages. In an attempt to aid his ally, the king of the Sea Demons, he gets off one good hydro-jet blast at Typhon’s submarine before he and his entire undersea fortress are annihilated by the sub’s hydro-ray. (Weird Comics 005, 1940)

    Friends, I am 100% sure that “the War Maniac” is just being used as a standard 1939-1941 paper-thin obfuscation of the fact that they’re talking about Hitler, and yet it’s such an excellent villain name that I am compelled to make note of it as if it were describing an armoured giant from a 60s Jack Kirby comic. (Weird Comics 007, 1940)

    The Boss, leader of a gang that targets the members of a private club that the Eagle belongs to in his secret identity of Bill Powers, turns out to be Rider, the club secretary, who might have been a great gang boss but really should have thought to keep his huge and distinctive wrist scar covered up in at least one of his identities. (Weird Comics 008, 1940)

    Queen Marie is a gang boss who styles herself as royalty, which just barely lines up with her diamond-smuggling concerns. I would call it a 100% charming affectation if her definition of queendom didn’t include having a throne room dotted with African slaves. Queen or not, her gang beat up by the Sparkler and she gets shipped off the the hoosegow. (Wham Comics 002, 1940)

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 026

    A wretched and motley crew for ye this day. 

    Mikal, leader of the undersea pirates, is an evocative figure who exists only to pad out the Typhon story that he appears in by a couple of pages. In an attempt to aid his ally, the king of the Sea Demons, he gets off one good hydro-jet blast at Typhon’s submarine before he and his entire undersea fortress are annihilated by the sub’s hydro-ray. (Weird Comics 005, 1940)

    Friends, I am 100% sure that “the War Maniac” is just being used as a standard 1939-1941 paper-thin obfuscation of the fact that they’re talking about Hitler, and yet it’s such an excellent villain name that I am compelled to make note of it as if it were describing an armoured giant from a 60s Jack Kirby comic. (Weird Comics 007, 1940)

    The Boss, leader of a gang that targets the members of a private club that the Eagle belongs to in his secret identity of Bill Powers, turns out to be Rider, the club secretary, who might have been a great gang boss but really should have thought to keep his huge and distinctive wrist scar covered up in at least one of his identities. (Weird Comics 008, 1940)

    Queen Marie is a gang boss who styles herself as royalty, which just barely lines up with her diamond-smuggling concerns. I would call it a 100% charming affectation if her definition of queendom didn’t include having a throne room dotted with African slaves. Queen or not, her gang beat up by the Sparkler and she gets shipped off the the hoosegow. (Wham Comics 002, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 715: THE STEEL SHARK

    (Rocket Comics 001, 1940)

    The Steel Shark has a couple of distinctive notes right off the bat. Firstly, he is part of the elite society of villains who star in their own series and secondly that series is set in the far future world of the year 1960 CE, for no particular reason as far as I can tell. Indeed, I suspect that the people working on the strip did not themselves remember that is was set in the future as early as the second instalment but without some explicit indication of such I’m going to assume that all Steel Shark stories are set in the Swinging Sixties.

    The Steel Shark himself is a satisfyingly weird looking weirdo, right down to his weird green skin. After engaging in some submarine piracy using his vessel’s high-powered heat ray, he sets upon the idea of abducting the daughter of the governor of Monango Island, and does so handily after using unspecified technology to put the entire island into a deep sleep.

    (it’s not quite a calling card but I must take a second to point out this whimsical little detail: after the Steel Shark attempts to bash in the sleeping head of Lieutenant Dick Jones, his future nemesis, he leaves behind a… bruise? scab? in the shape of a submarine. Does the Steel Shark have a cool raised carving of a submarine on the butt of his revolver or has Fate stepped in to mark the pursuer with the sign of the pursued?)

    In a sad turn, the second and third instalments of the Steel Shark’s adventures are illustrated by a different hand, and though he continues to be an unstable madman he no longer looks like someone 2/3 of the way through a zombie metamorphosis. By his third outing even most of the high-tech accoutrements have fallen by the wayside and Lt Jones is merely having to contend with ordinary run-of-the-mill submarine piracy. Still: good name, good MO (submarine pirates is one of the best kinds of pirates) and of course it’s always fun when a villain’s series ends before they themselves are actually dealt with. Somewhere out there in th 1960s the Steel Shark even now.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 715: THE STEEL SHARK

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 715: THE STEEL SHARK

    (Rocket Comics 001, 1940)

    The Steel Shark has a couple of distinctive notes right off the bat. Firstly, he is part of the elite society of villains who star in their own series and secondly that series is set in the far future world of the year 1960 CE, for no particular reason as far as I can tell. Indeed, I suspect that the people working on the strip did not themselves remember that is was set in the future as early as the second instalment but without some explicit indication of such I’m going to assume that all Steel Shark stories are set in the Swinging Sixties.

    The Steel Shark himself is a satisfyingly weird looking weirdo, right down to his weird green skin. After engaging in some submarine piracy using his vessel’s high-powered heat ray, he sets upon the idea of abducting the daughter of the governor of Monango Island, and does so handily after using unspecified technology to put the entire island into a deep sleep.

    (it’s not quite a calling card but I must take a second to point out this whimsical little detail: after the Steel Shark attempts to bash in the sleeping head of Lieutenant Dick Jones, his future nemesis, he leaves behind a… bruise? scab? in the shape of a submarine. Does the Steel Shark have a cool raised carving of a submarine on the butt of his revolver or has Fate stepped in to mark the pursuer with the sign of the pursued?)

    In a sad turn, the second and third instalments of the Steel Shark’s adventures are illustrated by a different hand, and though he continues to be an unstable madman he no longer looks like someone 2/3 of the way through a zombie metamorphosis. By his third outing even most of the high-tech accoutrements have fallen by the wayside and Lt Jones is merely having to contend with ordinary run-of-the-mill submarine piracy. Still: good name, good MO (submarine pirates is one of the best kinds of pirates) and of course it’s always fun when a villain’s series ends before they themselves are actually dealt with. Somewhere out there in th 1960s the Steel Shark even now.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 651: THE RAIDERS

    (Green Giant Comics 001, 1940)

    The Raiders are a piratical group with a two-pronged approach to acquiring gold on the briny deep: 

    1. learn of  gold shipments via a spy network operated by a member known only as “the Spy Chief”

    2. employ the super-scientific creations of submarine captain Dirck to wreak havoc on gold bearing ships and then escape.

    The whole thing is going swimmingly and even Rex Norton, the Black Arrow, is making very little headway against them until they make the mistake of trying to eliminate him using some of the Spy Chief’s spies. Here’s where the Raiders’ fatal flaw comes in: no two of them can stand one another. In the course of their operation, spies Borgu and X-13 bicker hard enough to spill every vital secret that their organization has to Norton’s hot little ears, and are distracted enough by infighting that he escapes and captures them without difficulty.

    (X-13 seems to be coded as the Black Arrow’s femme fatale/ friendly enemy and probably would have been a recurring antagonist if Rex Norton had ever reappeared)

    The bickering extends all the way to the top, as the Spy Chief and Dirck the Inventor basically do Rex Norton’s job for him in a mutual betrayal that he barely has to intervene in to take down the entire organization.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 590: THE SUBMARINE GANG

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 590: THE SUBMARINE GANG

    (Exciting Comics 005, 1940)

    The Submarine Gang get dealt a very bad hand: although they are a successful and feared group of submarine pirates who have been terrorizing shipping in the New York area, they have the misfortune of being lead by corrupt City Commissioner Lupine, who is dumb enough not only to conduct gang business while hosting a large and well-attended party at his home but to do so in the context of the Sphinx operating out of the same city as them. And while you might argue that Lupine would have no reason to suspect that the Sphinx might be a guest at his high-society party… the guy wears a tuxedo all the time. You have to at least assume he’s going to party.

    Thus, the Submarine Gang is undone before they really get going. Sure the characters in the story talk about how they’ve raided this or that ship in the past, but their in-story appearance is 100% the process of them blundering into a trap set by the Sphinx and the cops.

    Just a complete failure of leadership and information security. Those poor pirates deserved better.