The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: jewel thief

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 046

    Here’s to all the crooks who just didn’t have enough oomph.

    the Despot:

    The Despot (not really his name, but literally the only thing he is called throughout the story) has the magic power to transform himself and others into living plants and animals, a power which he uses to trap Camilla and Sir Champion in his mountain fastness after luring them there on a magical golden road. Thus stripped of its leaders, the Lost Empire proves no match for the Despot’s invading armies (who might be animals that have been turned into humans or might also have the power to turn into animals – it is unclear). 

    The Despot’s reign over the Lost Empire is short, as Camilla and Sir Champion are able to outwit the single, albeit magical, dog that he had left to guard them. Cornered, he makes a real shapeshifter mistake and turns into a potato, whereupon he is trapped in that form forever by Sir Champion’s magic sword. 

    This adventure comes at the very end of Camilla’s time in the original Lost Empire location, which is very sad because I think that knowing that a magical evil potato was stuck to the floor somewhere just off-panel would have really enhanced those stories. (Jungle Comics 014, 1941)

    the Acrobat Bandits:

    The Acrobat Bandits are a trio of rope-swinging jewel thieves who terrorize NYC for a few weeks before they tangle with reporter Dopey Day and are undone by his semi-slapstick ways. They are in fact pretty cool villains but really don’t get a lot of time to shine while Dopey is tripping over himself and dropping things, alas. (Liberty Scouts Comics 003, 1941)

    Jasper Fennel:

    Seemingly mild-mannered jewellery store clerk Jasper Fennel turns out to be the brains behind the notorious Panther Gang in this Marvo the Magician story. He might never have been caught if he hadn’t robbed his own place of employment – a valuable lesson for all would-be criminals not to shit where you eat. He also has one of the more upsetting masks I have seen in a while. (Lightning Comics v2 004, 1941)

    Hook:

    Hook is the leader of a gang who are attempting to run a protection racket on New York’s dry cleaners. He’s just a guy with a hook prosthetic who has decided to go with it and that’s what this lowest level of super-villainy is all about. Plus that nail bomb that he attempts to kill Ferret with is truly gnarly. (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 009, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 996: THE BIRD KING

    (Jungle Comics 022, 1941)

    Zuko, aka the Bird King, is in a lot of ways a very classic minor super-villain. He has an obsession with birds and has both a flock of trained vultures and a set of working bird wings for personal flight that he uses in the pursuit of crime. He also has an obsession with diamonds that makes him jealously guard the ones that he has collected, and stop at nothing, including kidnapping and murder, to acquire more.

    The really unusual thing about Zuko is the fact that all of this villainous potential exists in a guy who lives in a treehouse in the middle of a crocodile-infested swamp in the middle of a jungle in an unspecified part of Central Africa. He only learns that there are people nearby with diamonds that he might be able to steal when one of them accidentally wanders into his front yard. In the next issue of Jungle Comics some crooks come looking for Zuko’s treasure so it’s possible that he was a super thief somewhere else before moving to the jungle to hide but as presented in his own story it’s kind of like if Dr Doom had just forged his mask and then stayed on the mountain with those monks.

    The Bird Man makes a spirited attempt to steal the diamonds from Kaänga’s adopted people but is unable to contend with jungle-man resistance. This all ends with him learning the ultimate lesson for people who choose the life of the wingsuit, all the way back to Icarus himself: they don’t work very well if they are on fire.

    Categorized in: Accessories (Wingsuits), Animals (Birds), Theft (Jewel Thieves) 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 985: THE MAD GHOST

    (Green Mask v1 008, 1941)

    The tale of the Mad Ghost (“Death Deals in Diamonds!”) is presented as a classic whodunnit, which happen to be one of my very favourite genres of both comic stories and of fiction in general. Sadly, this story is a prime example of how poorly this genre can be executed, and an early sign of this is in the dramatic presentation of suspects on the splash page. While it is pretty common to include the story’s protagonist in such lineups for aesthetic reasons or maybe to bulk things out a bit, this batch includes both Lens “the Night Bird” Crockett and his partner Dell, rendering that fat juicy suspect pool down to a mere three guys.

    As we get into the story proper we can find this same commitment to quality, as our murder mystery is in fact nothing more than a loosely connected series of action vignettes featuring the Mad Ghost. In terms of clues to the mystery of the Ghost’s identity, we learn that Count Rogo is a shady customer and that the hotel manager and detective are present, and that’s about all. Other than the fact that the hotel detective and the Mad Ghost wear the same colour suit, but surely that must be a red herring, yes?

    No, that’s really it so far as audience-friendly clues go. The Night Bird claims that he “recognized his profile” but c’mon. He’s wearing a rubberoid mask when he’s the Ghost! Are we using “profile” in a bold new way here? And just why was he dressing up like a creepazoid and stalking the rooms of a failing hotel? Because he is actually an escaped diamond thief who murdered and impersonated the real hotel detective while attempting to discover the location of his swag, which the detective had confiscated and hidden somewhere in the building. Was committing a series of monster murders a reasonable way to go about solving this problem? Sadly it was not.

    Categorized in: Body (Sanity), Theft (Jewel Thieves), Supranormal Beings (Ghosts)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 963: THE GENTLEMAN

    (Exciting Comics 015, 1941)

    The Gentleman, “the most elusive jewel thief in the country,” is after the fabulous Orloff Necklace, and District Attorney Tony Colby, aka the Mask, is on the case.

    I initially had my money on the goateed gallery manager being the Gentleman in a classic double bluff, but once this comically-affronted old lady showed up it became clear that my instincts were wrong. The Gentleman’s modus operandi turns out to involve a combination of disguise and smuggling gems out of places in his dog’s hollow collar, a very specialized grift indeed, considering that you need a place that allows dogs and that also has small, high-value items to steal.

    Is the masculine name/ feminine disguise an intentional attempt at misdirection or merely a coincidence? Sadly this is not addressed in the text and so we must take it as equally likely that the Gentleman dresses up in a variety of disguises as it is that he always cross-dresses.

    Categorized in: Accessories (Dogs), Origin (Cross-Dressing Characters), Royalty (Gentlemen)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 963: THE GENTLEMAN

    (Exciting Comics 015, 1941)

    The Gentleman, “the most elusive jewel thief in the country,” is after the fabulous Orloff Necklace, and District Attorney Tony Colby, aka the Mask, is on the case.

    I initially had my money on the goateed gallery manager being the Gentleman in a classic double bluff, but once this comically-affronted old lady showed up it became clear that my instincts were wrong. The Gentleman’s modus operandi turns out to involve a combination of disguise and smuggling gems out of places in his dog’s hollow collar, a very specialized grift indeed, considering that you need a place that allows dogs and that also has small, high-value items to steal.

    Is the masculine name/ feminine disguise an intentional attempt at misdirection or merely a coincidence? Sadly this is not addressed in the text and so we must take it as equally likely that the Gentleman dresses up in a variety of disguises as it is that he always cross-dresses.

    Categorized in: Accessories (Dogs), Origin (Cross-Dressing Characters), Royalty (Gentlemen)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 886: THE HORNED HOOD

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 886: THE HORNED HOOD

    (Wow Comics 002, 1941) 

    If a comic story opens on a description of a gem or art object like the Maharajah Jewel here the you can be sure that that item is about to be stolen by a nefarious individual. It’s just science!

    Sure enough, no sooner does Professor Cadiz finish his lecture on the gem and its provenance than rictus grin-sporting gang boss the Horned Hood is sending two of his top men into the Upstate Museum to grab the swag, and even though Mr Scarlet intervenes, the Horned Hood manages to scuttle out a side door with the jewel in the commotion.

    Ultimately, the Horned Hood might be the greatest degree of style over substance that we’ve encountered in a while, as seen in the extreme brevity of his battle with Mr Scarlet. And no wonder, because the Horned Hood turns out to be Professor Cadiz, the only possible suspect (because he his the only named character who doesn’t already work for the Horned Hood) and a real power nerd. 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 757: THE MASTERMIND

    (Smash Comics 017, 1940) 

    The Mastermind, mysterious head of a jewel theft and smuggling ring, is actually Jason White, prominent jeweller, but he is also Rufus Kane, pawnbroker and fence. White established Kane as a patsy identity to absorb all of the suspicion of being the Mastermind until things get a little too hot, at which point Kane and the Mastermind disappear and Jason White is free and clear to enjoy his ill-gotten gains.

    And it works! Rufus Kane manages to escape from the Invisible Hood and the police! It’s not quite the perfect crime – I’m sure that a little forensic accounting would turn up some irregularities in White’s finances, for instance – but it’s close enough. Unfortunately for him, the Invisible Hood is on the case, though for once invisibility is not the key to the situation. Instead, White is caught when the Hood, as Kent Thurston, gets his buddy Police Inspector Battle to tell him that Kane is no longer a suspect and he proceeds to sashay past the two of them in his Suspicious Criminal cosplay. An ignominious defeat to be sure!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 746: THE LUMINOUS EYES

    (Smash Comics 011, 1940)

    London is in the grip of terror! An ominous figure with huge glowing eyes is terrifying/attacking people in the streets and in their homes! The city is in an uproar – where could the Luminous Eyes strike next? And to make the whole situation even more confusing, the only purpose of these attacks appears to be the theft of various common items, all green.

    When there’s trouble in this particular fictional version of London, Captain Cook of Scotland Yard is the one to call, and indeed he almost corners the Luminous Eyes on his first attempt, only to lose his own green hat (and also attempt to shoot a fleeing criminal in the back, I might add). Still, this represents progress.

    Through some wild deduction that we are not really privy to, Cook arrives at the conclusion that all of this theft-of-ggreen has been preparation for an attempt to steal the Royal Crown Emeralds (not actually a part of the Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom, I checked) from the Tower of London. Further, he has deduced that the Luminous Eyes is not a man at all! Instead, he has been matching wits with an East Indian Panola (a fictional type of chimpanzee, I checked) with surgically-implanted owl’s eyes, and that the prior thefts were all part of an elaborate training regimen by the creature’s creator.

    And speaking of that creator, this is what I was talking about yesterday in the Bat entry! Is training a surgically-modified chimpanzee to steal green objects as part of an attempt to steal an emerald crown a reasonable thing to do? Of course not, unless you’re in a comic book universe. In a comic book universe, such a plan has a reasonable chance of working, and even if it doesn’t you’re only down a chimp. And an owl, I suppose. Heck, the creator of the Luminous Eyes even gets away with it!

    (it turns out that this is the 1000th post that I’ve made on this blog, and unlike many of the other Milestone Posts, this one falls on a character that I actually have a lot of affection for! Here’s to the nxt thousand!)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 746: THE LUMINOUS EYES

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 746: THE LUMINOUS EYES

    (Smash Comics 011, 1940)

    London is in the grip of terror! An ominous figure with huge glowing eyes is terrifying/attacking people in the streets and in their homes! The city is in an uproar – where could the Luminous Eyes strike next? And to make the whole situation even more confusing, the only purpose of these attacks appears to be the theft of various common items, all green.

    When there’s trouble in this particular fictional version of London, Captain Cook of Scotland Yard is the one to call, and indeed he almost corners the Luminous Eyes on his first attempt, only to lose his own green hat (and also attempt to shoot a fleeing criminal in the back, I might add). Still, this represents progress.

    Through some wild deduction that we are not really privy to, Cook arrives at the conclusion that all of this theft-of-ggreen has been preparation for an attempt to steal the Royal Crown Emeralds (not actually a part of the Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom, I checked) from the Tower of London. Further, he has deduced that the Luminous Eyes is not a man at all! Instead, he has been matching wits with an East Indian Panola (a fictional type of chimpanzee, I checked) with surgically-implanted owl’s eyes, and that the prior thefts were all part of an elaborate training regimen by the creature’s creator.

    And speaking of that creator, this is what I was talking about yesterday in the Bat entry! Is training a surgically-modified chimpanzee to steal green objects as part of an attempt to steal an emerald crown a reasonable thing to do? Of course not, unless you’re in a comic book universe. In a comic book universe, such a plan has a reasonable chance of working, and even if it doesn’t you’re only down a chimp. And an owl, I suppose. Heck, the creator of the Luminous Eyes even gets away with it!

    (it turns out that this is the 1000th post that I’ve made on this blog, and unlike many of the other Milestone Posts, this one falls on a character that I actually have a lot of affection for! Here’s to the nxt thousand!)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 742: THE VOICE

    (Smash Comics 007, 1940)

    The Voice! A classic and popular alter ego for a reason – all you need is to be heard more than you are seen and you have yourself a gimmick, and if you have some sort of voice-based super power, well that’s a real bonus. In this case, the Voice is a mysterious figure who has kidnapped Lola Barnes, daughter of wealthy gem collector Sir Sidney Barnes. The Voice demands 100 000 pounds and the Red Star Diamond in return for Lola’s safe return and of course Captain Cook of Scotland Yard is brought in on the case.

    The Voice turns out to be Sir Sidney’s otherwise-unnamed servant, who seeks to recover the diamond because it was once owned by his ancestors, with the hundred grand as a sweet bonus. But how just is his quest? was the gem sold? stolen? Is this a case of colonialist injustice driving a man to the edge or is it just the scion of a formerly wealthy family taking a shortcut back to his perceived natural station? We will never know, because the Voice is a bad driver and dies while attempting to escape with the swag.