The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: mad science

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 697: THE CREATURE

    (Planet Comics 002, 1940)

    Having defeated the evil Sarko, Flint Baker and his crew are ready to head home to accept their accolades as the as-fas-as-anyone-knows first humans to land on Mars, when word comes from Princess Viga that the city of Ru is facing yet another deadly threat. This time it’s a giant four-armed primate that attacks three times per year and hauls Martians away to an uncertain and terrifying fate. Will Flint Baker help them? Of course he will!

    It’s a daunting beast to be sure, and it compounds the danger by immediately grabbing Princess Vigo and Baker Expedition stowaway-turned-crewmember Mimi, but Flint proves the old adage true once more: no matter how big you are or how many arms you have, you’re not walking away from a rocket ship to the mouth.

    I suppose that the old saying was only partially accurate in this case, actually, because the monster does walk away from the scene, if only to die elsewhere. Baker and his crew must pursue on “rocket-propelled degravitation pods” (i.e., pogo sticks).

    Arriving at the monster’s location, Baker and his men find that it is indeed dead, but also that it was not some wild creature with a periodic appetite for Martians but the creation of a little green guy with a big head. The Creature! Which, yes, is almost certainly not what they call themself but “the creature” is basically the only thing that is used to identify them in the caption boxes so I’m going with it.

    Not only does the Creature reveal that they were the creator of the monster, but that the beast was in fact made out of the kidnapped Martians! And they’re making another one! Just how many Martians were being kidnapped, and for how long?

    (this is honestly a pretty great slow burn horror concept that was certainly out of the realm of 1940 comic book storytelling: people start disappearing, nobody knows how or where, and then after a couple of years someone sees a creature grabbing someone. And then every time it comes back, it’s a bit bigger or has another limb, etc. Ideally the reveal comes while the beast is still alive, via DNA sequencing or something like that)

    Honestly, the Creature is an amazing villain. A bombastic weirdo living in a cave and making a monster out of people? Terrific. But also, they are super strong and invulnerable to ray gun blasts that destroy everything around them. Who is this little creep and why are they living in a cave making monsters?

    Sadly, though the Creature might have been immune to ray gun technology they were still susceptible to a good old fashioned sock on the jaw. Flint and his compatriots leave the Creature behind to be blown up with the rest of the laboratory in the obligatory final explosion – a sad end for a terrific antagonist.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 696: QUORAK

    (Planet Comics 001, 1940)

    Quorak, like Moloka before him, seems to have developed his planet-wrecking technology without a clear indication of how he was going to use it. The caption box mentions destroying “all traces of civilization” and Quorak himself speaks of becoming “the greatest power in the whole universe!” but there have to be a lot of steps in the flow chart with “????” and “work this out later” on them. He does look very menacing while sitting at his desk, though.

    Like, yes, Quorak’s device can and does pull Pluto toward his base on planetoid Spectremus (excellent name), but why. What is he going to do with a planetload of wrecked cities and dead Plutonians? Is the destruction the point? Then why not push Pluto into the Sun or something? Why pull it?

    I think I’m getting so worked up about this because I like Quorak so much. Look at him in his little layered skirt – he could be such a good villain if he had any sort of decent plan. Why, he deals with two Inter-Planetary Police officers without even breaking a sweat!

    Ultimately Quorak succcumbs to one of the classic villain’s follies, of toying with his victims too much. He hangs Inter-Planetary Police officer Gary upside-down for a larf and ends up zapping himself with Gary’s heat ray. And then to add insult to injury he gets captured with his own paralysis ray. Shoulda worked on that flow chart a bit more, Quorak, old pal.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 667: ANGEL EYES

    (Jungle Comics 010, 1940)

    It’s a c-c-c-combo breaker! Ordinarily Fantomah swans around observing the villains of her comic adventures and periodically telling them that they should stop what they’re doing before it’s too lat, ie, before she delivers unto them an ironic punishment. This issue features one of the few foes to catch her completely flat-footed and she is as surprised as anyone when giant flaming hands start tearing through the jungle, indiscriminately murdering both people and animals. Who or what could be behind this?

    The culprit turns out to be a scientific prodigy called Angel Eyes, who has the Batman origin except his parents were killed by a jungle and so he has vowed to destroy all jungles. He has created artificial life forms out of chemicals and known as the Flaming Claws for the simple reason that they are completely invisible except for their huge flaming clawed hands.

    I really appreciate Angel Eyes’ design! He really captures the look of a person who would be extremely attractive if they didn’t constantly wear their foul mood in their facial expression.

    Not that Fantomah ever has much of a hard time dealing with guys like this, but Angel Eyes is an especially easy one: she just hangs him from a tree and has his own creations attack him until he has a heart attack and dies. As for the Flaming Claws, why, they get melted back into the constituent chemicals that they were made of.

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 012

    Science class was never like this.

    Count la Roach is a scientist-spy looking to synthesize enough “noxio gas” to flood the NYC of the I-think-it’s-still-the-near-future world of Yank Wilson, but all he gets is a sock in the jaw for his trouble. (Fantastic Comics 007, 1940)

    This unnamed fellow is our first proper mad scientist in a while! I really like his style, particularly the fact that he’s introduced while sitting in a tennis judge’s chair for no stated reason. He lives in an inactive volcano, probably in Africa, and is developing a horrible poison dust that he has used to destroy the neighbouring village – it’s probably a good thing that Captain Kidd melts him. (Fantastic Comics 008, 1940)

    Dr Loy here has created an army of chemical androids that he controls and aims to take over the world with. Two problems: the Fantom of the Fair is on the case and Dr Loy’s androids dissolve in water. Loy is quickly arrested. (Amazing Mystery Funnies v3 002, 1940)

    Chung Hang has a simple dream: wait until the world is exhausted by WWII and then take over using his mind control ray. And he might just get there some day, because Chip Collins of the Skull Squadron just punches him out and leaves once he and his pals have escaped Chung Hang’s science dungeons. (Fight Comics 002, 1940)

  • MAD AND CRIMINAL SCIENTIST ROUND-UP 012

    Science class was never like this.

    Count la Roach is a scientist-spy looking to synthesize enough “noxio gas” to flood the NYC of the I-think-it’s-still-the-near-future world of Yank Wilson, but all he gets is a sock in the jaw for his trouble. (Fantastic Comics 007, 1940)

    This unnamed fellow is our first proper mad scientist in a while! I really like his style, particularly the fact that he’s introduced while sitting in a tennis judge’s chair for no stated reason. He lives in an inactive volcano, probably in Africa, and is developing a horrible poison dust that he has used to destroy the neighbouring village – it’s probably a good thing that Captain Kidd melts him. (Fantastic Comics 008, 1940)

    Dr Loy here has created an army of chemical androids that he controls and aims to take over the world with. Two problems: the Fantom of the Fair is on the case and Dr Loy’s androids dissolve in water. Loy is quickly arrested. (Amazing Mystery Funnies v3 002, 1940)

    Chung Hang has a simple dream: wait until the world is exhausted by WWII and then take over using his mind control ray. And he might just get there some day, because Chip Collins of the Skull Squadron just punches him out and leaves once he and his pals have escaped Chung Hang’s science dungeons. (Fight Comics 002, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 624: MOLOKA

    (Fantastic Comics 009, 1940)

    Moloka is our second Stardust the Super Wizard foe from a story not penned by Fletcher Hanks and I’d say that our unknown scribe gets things mostly right: there’s certainly enough wanton destruction for this to be a Hanks comic. Moloka is a humanoid alien who has developed world-wrecking super weapons and as the comic opens is using them to blast away at various inhabited planets.

    Where exactly this is happening is a little unclear. If Fletcher Hanks’ idea of how outer space is structured is a little fuzzy then his stand-in is even more vague on the particulars. It’s equally possible that Moloka is based in another star system and using weapons with an interstellar range as it is that he’s in our own Solar System and there are just a heap of extra planets to blow up.

    Moloka’s goal is also a bit unclear. I think that he’s looking to become some sort of Galactic or Solar Dictator but he spends an awful lot of time just blasting away at inhabited planets without really asking to be put in charge. It’s possible that the power is an excuse and the blasting is the point.

    Moloka is based on Pluton, which is either an alternate spelling of Pluto (that I have seen before to be honest) or as mentioned above a completely extrasolar one. There’s no way of working out which it is though I will say that none of Pluto’s satellites were discovered before 1978 so I have no idea where Nemus is supposed to be.

    Moloka does give some hints as to his mental state when he mistakes a vengeful Stardust for some sort of elemental being created by the hellish energies at his command. It’s kind of charming! It’s also wildly out of character for Stardust “the shortest distance between two lines is a punch” the Super Wizard. Stardust’s goal with this little ruse is to goad Moloka into firing his weapon at Earth, then using his own patented ray-reversal technology to redirect it back to its source.

    As to whyhe bothers to do this when he’s perfectly capable of blowing the whole of Pluton to hell and gone? I guess it’s a bit more of an ironic punishment to leave a warmonger stranded on a planet that they themself have devastated? Sure, we’ll go with that.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 546: PROFESSOR DWYER

    (Smash Comics 003, 1939)

    When a mysterious monster-man robs a London apartment by ripping a safe clean out of the wall, Captain Cook of Scotland Yard somehow intuits that this may be the work of disgraced London University scientist Professor Dwyer and manages to track him down to an abandoned castle on the moors outside the city (I take no responsibility for checking if there are moors just outside London. Or castles). His intuition is of course correct and he must contend with that most classic of comic book man-monsters: a gorilla with a human brain, wearing a suit.

    Dwyer isn’t the biggest villain, per se – he robs a safe, transplants a brain from a presumably-unwilling man into a gorilla and briefly kidnaps an elevator boy – but he certainly does manage to rack up an impressive checklist of mad science achievements before being taken into custody:

    – fired and in fact confined to an asylum due to the unorthodox nature of his research

    – asylum escapee

    – castle HQ

    – gorilla henchman

    – in fact gorilla henchman with a human brain

    – engine killing technology

    – death ray technology

    It’s an impressive resume, capped off by his complete lack of physical ability that leads to him being captured  with exactly no trouble despite being armed. The gorilla-man unfortunately does not survive.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 546: PROFESSOR DWYER

    (Smash Comics 003, 1939)

    When a mysterious monster-man robs a London apartment by ripping a safe clean out of the wall, Captain Cook of Scotland Yard somehow intuits that this may be the work of disgraced London University scientist Professor Dwyer and manages to track him down to an abandoned castle on the moors outside the city (I take no responsibility for checking if there are moors just outside London. Or castles). His intuition is of course correct and he must contend with that most classic of comic book man-monsters: a gorilla with a human brain, wearing a suit.

    Dwyer isn’t the biggest villain, per se – he robs a safe, transplants a brain from a presumably-unwilling man into a gorilla and briefly kidnaps an elevator boy – but he certainly does manage to rack up an impressive checklist of mad science achievements before being taken into custody:

    – fired and in fact confined to an asylum due to the unorthodox nature of his research

    – asylum escapee

    – castle HQ

    – gorilla henchman

    – in fact gorilla henchman with a human brain

    – engine killing technology

    – death ray technology

    It’s an impressive resume, capped off by his complete lack of physical ability that leads to him being captured  with exactly no trouble despite being armed. The gorilla-man unfortunately does not survive.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 515: DR ZORKA

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 515: DR ZORKA

    (Blue Bolt v2 002, 1941)

    Dr Zorka is a probably-mad scientist who gets up to experiments in reanimating the dead on a small island off the coast of Cuba, like Dr Bruno Varoz before him. Unlike Dr Varoz, Dr Zorka has no overt intention of unleashing his creations on an unsuspecting populace.

    It’s too bad for him, then, that this is a Sergeant Spook comic and in a Sergeant Spook comic the dead are likely to, for example, make a long journey North to Ghost Town in order to recruit the Ghost Law for your Crimes Against Ghosts. Which is exactly what happens when Dr Zorka attempts and fails to reanimate the corpse of a man named Kola.

    It’s at first unclear why Kola has such a problem with Zorka if his mortal shell is not in fact shambling around on its own but once they (and Dr Sherlock) arrive on the island everything becomes clear. While the the bodies of Zorka’s subjects are animated their spirits are doomed to wander the Earth as something much closer to a traditional ghost than Sergeant Spook and his contemporaries.

    Further, Dr Zorka has developed technology that allows him to see ghosts and a chemical that theoretically is able to destroy them but is not tested because Zorka is a Classic Nerd and unable to throw worth a damn. This is big stuff! And as with all of the other game changing revelations about the nature of life and death that occur in Sergeant Spook comics it is forgotten once the immediate threat is over and done.

    But no, the fundamental nature of the relationship between humanity and its dead is not altered, ushering in a new era of peaceful coexistence between all sentient beings. Instead Dr Zorka releases a gorilla in a futile last ditch attempt to kill what turn out to be three gorilla-proof ghost and is left to undo his zombifications under the watchful eye of Kola.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 494: THE INVENTOR

    (Big Shot Comics 008, 1940) 

    It’s a very big stretch, even by the standards of my own Unofficial Name convention, to call this guy the Inventor but it’s literally the only thing he’s referred to as other than “the man” and I just can’t keep calling these guys “Unnamed Scientist.” I just can’t.

    So! The Inventor has invented a very cool remote-controlled humanoid robot with a special poison-spraying device in the chest. We’ll skip my usual speculation into the potential value that could be reaped by selling this design for industrial purposes rather than using it for mere bank robbery because the Inventor is in fact a mad scientist and thus cannot be held to the same fiscal standards as his more rational colleagues.

    Let’s take a second to appreciate the classic stylings of this robot: cylinder head, pincer claws, speaker ears… all the great robot features in one cool guy.

    This might be a Tom Kerry story but the real hero of the piece is this night watchman who chooses not to pointlessly die in an attempt to protect the bank he works at and instead lives to clue the two-fisted District Attorney in on the culprit’s identity as a robot. I appreciate you, fella.

    Tom Kerry tracks the robot back to its lair by the simple expedient of clinging to the underside of the remote-controlled auto-gyro used to ferry both it and the money back to the Inventor. There he takes advantage of the fact that like a surprising percentage of Golden and Silver Age robots, this one’s exterior shell is easily removed and repurposed as a costume.

    The Inventor is essentially epically pranked into signing a confession, Tom Kerry battles a knife-wielding maniac in his boxer shorts and the whole thing wraps up with a sock to the jaw. No word on what became of that poor nude robot, though.