The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: unofficial name

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 486: THE MONSTER

    (Big 3 006, 1941)

    The Monster, while an imposing figure engaged in some extremely villainous and questionable activities – kidnapping wealthy young women from some sort of summer camp – ultimately fails to satisfy.

    And here is exactly why: this is the kind of story that benefits from a bit of mystery: a red herring or two; a few suspects – but this George Benson guy not only is the singular suspect but has spent twenty-plus years saying things like “you will live to regret the day” and trying to ruin the lives of the woman who turned him down, the man she chose over him and their child. Worst of all, the inciting incident that lead to him dressing up in orange jodhpurs and a stupid mask is him pursuing the affections of the child and very reasonably being turned down for being an old creep (to be clear, she is an adult at the time. He is just a double or even triple adult). 

    He doesn’t even have the dignity to get killed at the end. Just a sad old spiteful creep in a mask.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 486: THE MONSTER

    (Big 3 006, 1941)

    The Monster, while an imposing figure engaged in some extremely villainous and questionable activities – kidnapping wealthy young women from some sort of summer camp – ultimately fails to satisfy.

    And here is exactly why: this is the kind of story that benefits from a bit of mystery: a red herring or two; a few suspects – but this George Benson guy not only is the singular suspect but has spent twenty-plus years saying things like “you will live to regret the day” and trying to ruin the lives of the woman who turned him down, the man she chose over him and their child. Worst of all, the inciting incident that lead to him dressing up in orange jodhpurs and a stupid mask is him pursuing the affections of the child and very reasonably being turned down for being an old creep (to be clear, she is an adult at the time. He is just a double or even triple adult). 

    He doesn’t even have the dignity to get killed at the end. Just a sad old spiteful creep in a mask.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 466: THE MAD-MAN

    (Amazing-Man Comics 010, 1940)

    I am heartbroken. 

    Here’s a bit of trivia: most of the 465 entries before this were written about characters in comics I had already read and if there was something in them that made me feel particularly strong emotions then I had had time to process it and mull it over. Going forward, however, we’re looking at a lot of comics that are brand new to me.

    In that spirit, I must admit: the first few pages of this Shark adventure had me. I was all in. A non-human villain? An octopus, no less? A well-drawn octopus?! Move over Robin because Cephalopoda the Murder Octopus was all set to be my sensational character find of 1940.

    I should have known that it was too good to be true when Cephalopoda and the Shark squared up on page 2. Rather than engage in Exciting Combat Between Demigod and Octopode, Cephalopoda flees into a crevice and when the Shark follows he is swept deep into the bowels of the Earth. And that’s it! That’s a wrap on Cephalopoda! Sadness reigns!

    The Shark wakes up in a cavern deep under the Earth and is subsequently gathered up by a weird sub-Earth goon (trivia: those weird Bart Simpson head lumps this guy has instead of hair are very unsettling to me) and taken to a cool walking building.

    There he meets the Mad-Man (unofficial name), who I would normally think was pretty neat: a psychic megalomaniac who came to the centre of the Earth (so-called) to capture the lumpy-headed folk who live there and use them to conquer the world, plus the same high pressure environment that makes the lumpy-heads so strong has also crunched down the Mad-Man into a wee little fella.

    As I said, a guy like this is good, to me. A fun antagonist to have in your super-story! Sadly I cannot fully enjoy his villainy as he reveals that my beloved Cephalapoda was in fact being remotely controlled as a lure for the super-durable Shark. All of my dreams of an octopus super-villain have been dashed to pieces. I’m sure I’ll encounter one some day, but for now it’s just dreary old humans and humanoid aliens and extradimensional humanoids and humanoid robots. Plus a few more kinds of humanoids.

    The Mad-Man’s plan is to incapacitate the Shark, then implant the knowledge of how to perform a brain transplant into his lumpy-headed thrall. This all goes roughly to plan until the lumpy-head actually removes the Mad-Man’s brain, at which point his mental domination ends, the thrall runs off and the Shark is free to go. The Mad-Man’s brain moulders on a table under the Earth forevermore.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 466: THE MAD-MAN

    (Amazing-Man Comics 010, 1940)

    I am heartbroken. 

    Here’s a bit of trivia: most of the 465 entries before this were written about characters in comics I had already read and if there was something in them that made me feel particularly strong emotions then I had had time to process it and mull it over. Going forward, however, we’re looking at a lot of comics that are brand new to me.

    In that spirit, I must admit: the first few pages of this Shark adventure had me. I was all in. A non-human villain? An octopus, no less? A well-drawn octopus?! Move over Robin because Cephalopoda the Murder Octopus was all set to be my sensational character find of 1940.

    I should have known that it was too good to be true when Cephalopoda and the Shark squared up on page 2. Rather than engage in Exciting Combat Between Demigod and Octopode, Cephalopoda flees into a crevice and when the Shark follows he is swept deep into the bowels of the Earth. And that’s it! That’s a wrap on Cephalopoda! Sadness reigns!

    The Shark wakes up in a cavern deep under the Earth and is subsequently gathered up by a weird sub-Earth goon (trivia: those weird Bart Simpson head lumps this guy has instead of hair are very unsettling to me) and taken to a cool walking building.

    There he meets the Mad-Man (unofficial name), who I would normally think was pretty neat: a psychic megalomaniac who came to the centre of the Earth (so-called) to capture the lumpy-headed folk who live there and use them to conquer the world, plus the same high pressure environment that makes the lumpy-heads so strong has also crunched down the Mad-Man into a wee little fella.

    As I said, a guy like this is good, to me. A fun antagonist to have in your super-story! Sadly I cannot fully enjoy his villainy as he reveals that my beloved Cephalapoda was in fact being remotely controlled as a lure for the super-durable Shark. All of my dreams of an octopus super-villain have been dashed to pieces. I’m sure I’ll encounter one some day, but for now it’s just dreary old humans and humanoid aliens and extradimensional humanoids and humanoid robots. Plus a few more kinds of humanoids.

    The Mad-Man’s plan is to incapacitate the Shark, then implant the knowledge of how to perform a brain transplant into his lumpy-headed thrall. This all goes roughly to plan until the lumpy-head actually removes the Mad-Man’s brain, at which point his mental domination ends, the thrall runs off and the Shark is free to go. The Mad-Man’s brain moulders on a table under the Earth forevermore.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 401: THE MASKED MAN

    (More Fun Comics 073, 1941)

    This is not a new development but having Johnny Quick and Green Arrow’s debuts so close together made me realize that a minor sea change had happened some time in 1941: whereas the earliest super-heroes would start out collaring regular crooks we’re entering an era in which super-villains are the norm! (that said, Aquaman’s debut is in this issue as well and he just blows up a few Nazis).

    As for the Masked Man (our fifth! Even if more than half of them are unofficial), he’s another themed deathtraps guy, killing members of the extremely tryhard History Club (members must have the same last name as a famous historical or mythological figure, but sometimes it’s the figure’s first name as their last name and also there’s a member named Frank d’Arcy who is a member under the extremely slim pretext of sharing a name with Joan of Arc AKA Jean d’Arc. Maybe it’s a club for guys too uninteresting to belong to any of the other weird themed organizations in comics). Needless to say my interest was piqued: themed deathtraps are a classic villain trope! These, however, are extremely perfunctory – shooting a guy named Lincoln but not in a theatre, stabbing a Caesar in his sleep… a little more theatricality would have gone a long way.

    More halfassed deathtraps: Ezra Samson is tied up next to a bomb that will collapse a building on him, Frank d’Arcy is tied up in a burning building, Amos Socrates is forced to drink poison at gunpoint and Leonard Achilles (great name!) is warned about his heel being targeted so he wears metal boots and is then killed via electrified mat. It’s all moderately thematic but feels perfunctory.

    And it is, in fact, perfunctory! The Masked Man is not killing the members of the History Club out of hatred or because of a weird compulsion but as a distraction! He’s actually club treasurer Ezra Samson attempting to cover up his long-term embezzlement of club funds by murdering everyone who would care, culminating in a fake attempt on his own life and a staging of Amos Socrates’ poisoning so that he would look like a guilty suicide. And he might have gotten away with it if Green Arrow and Speedy hadn’t been there to kill him with a car wreck at the end of the story.

    BONUS TROPHY ROOM

    Green Arrow and Speedy add the Masked Man’s fake round bomb to their already overstuffed trophy case.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 398: THE DARK VAPOR

    (More Fun Comics 072, 1941)

    The Dark Vapor (one of my trademark Unofficial Names) is just that: a misty entity that emerges from an old jar of mysterious provenance and possesses simple farmer Hiram Spiezel.

    The Vapor-driven Hiram immediately heads for the big city of Cliffland NJ and starts wheeling and dealing, becoming a stock marked player and a real estate tycoon almost overnight. And soon after that, he starts evicting tenants, bilking people and falsifying records: capitalism to Mega-Capitalism, all in a few short days.

    All this unwholesome business draws the attention of the Spectre, who quickly discovers that a) he cannot influence “Hiram Spiezel” like he could a normal man, b) “Spiezel” can see him, c) “Hiram Spiezel” is actually a banished evil entity from an ancient civilization picking up a bid for world conquest where it left off and d) the Dark Vapor entity is much more powerful than the Spectre. 

    The entity swiftly runs off the Spectre and gets back to the business of enacting a hostile takeover on the world. As an aside: I really appreciate the adaptability of this being – I mean, I assume that whatever civilization it originated in was not organized along the same lines as 1940s US capitalist society and yet it is perfectly comfortable in its new role as business mogul rather than Thunder Warlord or Priest-King or Grand Art Critic. Good job, Dark Vapor!

    Too bad for the Vape that the Spectre has an unspecified, vaguely Christian entity on speed dial, a literal deus ex machina for just such occasions. It supplies him with a power-boosting red aura, with which he in short order evicts the Vapor from Hiram Spiezel, hunts it down and imprisons it at the bottom of the sea, presumably to someday bedevil a civilization of intelligent octopuses with its preternatural pebble-stacking prowess.

    AND SPEAKING OF OCTOPUSES! I enjoyed the Dark Vapor’s machinations but absolutely the greatest thing about their adventure is this illustration of them as a metaphorical octopus ensnaring the US in their horrible flesh-toned tentacles. Always a delight!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 398: THE DARK VAPOR

    (More Fun Comics 072, 1941)

    The Dark Vapor (one of my trademark Unofficial Names) is just that: a misty entity that emerges from an old jar of mysterious provenance and possesses simple farmer Hiram Spiezel.

    The Vapor-driven Hiram immediately heads for the big city of Cliffland NJ and starts wheeling and dealing, becoming a stock marked player and a real estate tycoon almost overnight. And soon after that, he starts evicting tenants, bilking people and falsifying records: capitalism to Mega-Capitalism, all in a few short days.

    All this unwholesome business draws the attention of the Spectre, who quickly discovers that a) he cannot influence “Hiram Spiezel” like he could a normal man, b) “Spiezel” can see him, c) “Hiram Spiezel” is actually a banished evil entity from an ancient civilization picking up a bid for world conquest where it left off and d) the Dark Vapor entity is much more powerful than the Spectre. 

    The entity swiftly runs off the Spectre and gets back to the business of enacting a hostile takeover on the world. As an aside: I really appreciate the adaptability of this being – I mean, I assume that whatever civilization it originated in was not organized along the same lines as 1940s US capitalist society and yet it is perfectly comfortable in its new role as business mogul rather than Thunder Warlord or Priest-King or Grand Art Critic. Good job, Dark Vapor!

    Too bad for the Vape that the Spectre has an unspecified, vaguely Christian entity on speed dial, a literal deus ex machina for just such occasions. It supplies him with a power-boosting red aura, with which he in short order evicts the Vapor from Hiram Spiezel, hunts it down and imprisons it at the bottom of the sea, presumably to someday bedevil a civilization of intelligent octopuses with its preternatural pebble-stacking prowess.

    AND SPEAKING OF OCTOPUSES! I enjoyed the Dark Vapor’s machinations but absolutely the greatest thing about their adventure is this illustration of them as a metaphorical octopus ensnaring the US in their horrible flesh-toned tentacles. Always a delight!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 382: THE MAN

    (More Fun Comics 066, 1941) 

    Out of nowhere one day, giant monsters attack Cliffland, New Jersey!

    After driving them off a couple of times, the Spectre manages to follow them back to their base of operations, a weird painting of unknown provenance hanging in a Cliffland museum. There he finds that the monsters reside in a metal city ruled over by a man referred to only as the Man.

    The Man is clearly modeled after the fascist dictators of the day and spends his time whipping his monstrous subjects into a frenzy prior to a wholesale invasion of the real world. While I don’t appreciate the attempted-destruction-of-humanity of it all I must admit that he has some wonderful turns of phrase. Maybe being a fictional entity allows you to tap into a poetical mindset more easily.

    The Man‘s schemes all come to nothing as the Spectre invades his world and decimates his forces, then overcomes the Man himself (despite the Man deploying not only a variety of magical powers but a surprise eleventh-hour monster transformation) and destroys both the painting and the world it contains.

    I have to say that despite not particularly loving the monster designs here I do love the idea of an outsider artist putting so much of themself into a work that it gains a life of its own. BRING BACK the Man, I say, whether in another work by the same artist or as a fictional parasite who appears in other paintings until he can find one that he can use as a portal to the real world. He would be a great addition to the ranks of the DCU’s magical weirdos.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 360: MISTER MASK

    (Master Comics 019, 1941)

    If you’re ever at a party and a guy shows up with a mysterious bequest for the host and then is murdered by an unseen party before he can hand over what turns out to be a huge diamond then take it from me: you are in a comic book. If there’s a guy named “Rajah Kohur” there to declare the diamond to be cursed, well that’s just what we call further evidence.

    Now you’re going to want to watch out for costumed crooks – in this case they’ve gone for a vague Indian/ religious theme to play up the cursed nature of the gem and are using a weird tube that shoots darts made of crystallized poison to kill people because simplicity and costumed villainy don’t mix.

    Anyway, you’re going to want to keep an eye on any guardians, uncles, family lawyers, that sort of folk. Mister Mask turns out to be the heiress’ foppish cousin Dariustrying to get her to sell the “cursed” diamond cheap (Rajah Kohur is of course a con artist). His biggest error was in trying all of this at an event attended by the Companions Three – there’s no reason to handicap your own attempt at an already difficult task.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 354: THE MASKED MAN

    (Master Comics 015, 1941)

    This really illustrates how the life of a mysterious adventurer is different from that of the rest of us: while driving through Florida, Zoro the Mystery Man stops at a random mansion, is rebuffed when he seeks admittance, and decides to snoop around. While you or I might discover, say, a private birthday party or merely a normal family who don’t particularly want to entertain every stranger who knocks on their door, Zoro instead finds a masked figure who is busily mutating the mansions inhabitants into ape-men. I guess once it happens to you a couple of times you just get an instinct for it?

    Hi-jinks of course ensue, culminating in the revelation that the culprit is Garvey, the black sheep of the family who presumably chose the ape-man route of seeking revenge because it was cooler than merely shooting up the joint. The point is, his name is Garvey Rantrill.