The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: fake undead – vampire

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 945: DR DRACULA

    (Silver Streak Comics 017, 1941) 

    With Dr Dracula, Captain Battle has now faced four Nazi or Nazi-adjacent villains in a row whose plans involve gathering up a bunch of guys and pretending to be monsters, in this case vampires. Was there a meeting about this at the regional Nazi spy headquarters or is this one of those things like when Hollywood makes two volcano movies at the same time? Maybe one guy had a good idea and the other three stole it. 

    I’d have to say that Dr Dracula has the best name and possibly the best look out of the four, but the Mummy Master’s Mummy Gang might take the gold in terms of best henchmen. 

    As a supplement to the power of fake vampirism, Dr Dracula steals a new death ray from the hapless Professor Fosdick, who then serves as the first (human) target of its instant skeletonization effect. Horrifying! And visually striking!

    (please note the fourth panel above, when Fosdick exclaims “Vampires! Vampires as large as men!” I believe him to be referring to vampire bats, which doesn’t make a huge amount of sense given what he is looking at at the time but which is the only interpretation to make much sense. It is the kind of thing that comic book people shout when vampire bats are about, after all)

    This is about the time that Captain Battle shows up to put a stop to Dr Dracula’s plans, which gives he and his men the opportunity to demonstrate that they can all fly as they engage in thrilling aerial combat vs Captain Battle and his luceflyer (Hale Battle is lagging behind and can’t be there for this fight). 

    These wing suits are very cool and more importantly… way more strategically valuable than the death ray that they just stole? Like, yes: the death ray can instantly kill any target, but so can a good sniper, and you certainly could deploy more good snipers easily if you had flying infantry, right?

    Having made his getaway, Dr Dracula gets down to the serious business of sabotaging American war production by turning people into goofy skeletons. Prof Fosdick must have had a sense of humour, because while the ray dissolves clothing it selectively leaves props such as cigarettes or blankets behind so that every tragic ray-gun death looks just a little bit funny.

    Dr Dracula meets his end when Captain Battle throws a steel net over him and the death ray explodes. This is what happens when you steal an experimental piece of technology and kill the inventor, folks. 

    Hale Battle must of course have his souvenir, and what better or more striking object is there than one of the false vampires’ wing suits?

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 945: DR DRACULA

    (Silver Streak Comics 017, 1941) 

    With Dr Dracula, Captain Battle has now faced four Nazi or Nazi-adjacent villains in a row whose plans involve gathering up a bunch of guys and pretending to be monsters, in this case vampires. Was there a meeting about this at the regional Nazi spy headquarters or is this one of those things like when Hollywood makes two volcano movies at the same time? Maybe one guy had a good idea and the other three stole it. 

    I’d have to say that Dr Dracula has the best name and possibly the best look out of the four, but the Mummy Master’s Mummy Gang might take the gold in terms of best henchmen. 

    As a supplement to the power of fake vampirism, Dr Dracula steals a new death ray from the hapless Professor Fosdick, who then serves as the first (human) target of its instant skeletonization effect. Horrifying! And visually striking!

    (please note the fourth panel above, when Fosdick exclaims “Vampires! Vampires as large as men!” I believe him to be referring to vampire bats, which doesn’t make a huge amount of sense given what he is looking at at the time but which is the only interpretation to make much sense. It is the kind of thing that comic book people shout when vampire bats are about, after all)

    This is about the time that Captain Battle shows up to put a stop to Dr Dracula’s plans, which gives he and his men the opportunity to demonstrate that they can all fly as they engage in thrilling aerial combat vs Captain Battle and his luceflyer (Hale Battle is lagging behind and can’t be there for this fight). 

    These wing suits are very cool and more importantly… way more strategically valuable than the death ray that they just stole? Like, yes: the death ray can instantly kill any target, but so can a good sniper, and you certainly could deploy more good snipers easily if you had flying infantry, right?

    Having made his getaway, Dr Dracula gets down to the serious business of sabotaging American war production by turning people into goofy skeletons. Prof Fosdick must have had a sense of humour, because while the ray dissolves clothing it selectively leaves props such as cigarettes or blankets behind so that every tragic ray-gun death looks just a little bit funny.

    Dr Dracula meets his end when Captain Battle throws a steel net over him and the death ray explodes. This is what happens when you steal an experimental piece of technology and kill the inventor, folks. 

    Hale Battle must of course have his souvenir, and what better or more striking object is there than one of the false vampires’ wing suits?

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 684: THE TERROR OF ROCKY POOL

    (Pep Comics 002, 1940)

    Like the Mayfair Monster before him, the Terror of Rocky Pool is interrupted mid-murder by Inspector Bentley of Scotland Yard. Just like last time, his trusty stick has little effect, though instead of breaking over a head of iron it meets no resistance at all. Unlike last time, Bentley is too late to save the victim, who swiftly bleeds to death from a too-small wound. Bentley is informed that the culprit is the Terror of Rocky Pool and that it makes its vampiric lair at the bottom of that same body of water.

    A subsequent interview with the victim’s family introduces a couple of suspects: his adoptive cousin Joan Edmunds and biological cousin John Blake, who are in love, even though Joan was the victim’s fiance. They only marry cousins in Little Rockham it seems. Also the victim’s uncle, a kindly man who raises leeches as a hobby and Joan as his daughter. Can’t be him, obviously.

    After a few vampire chases and a lot of yelling, Bentley gets to the bottom of things and it’s even more unsavoury than all of the cousin-marrying and cousin-cuckolding. It turns out that kindly Uncle Blake was the Terror all along, using in order, a local superstition, anticoagulant leech saliva and an underwater tunnel from the pool to his house in order to kill one nephew and attempt to frame the other because he was in love with his own adopted daughter. We truly are dealing with the most depraved depths of supercrime here.

  • MINOR SUPER-HERO 362: THE SON OF COUNT DRACULA

    (Master Comics 020, 1941)

    The Son of Count Dracula: 100/100 for theming and commitment to the bit, 0/100 for practical planning. 

    So: a team of private detectives named Splithair and Undermeyer are hired to investigate a series of disappearances associated with Vampire Castle, located in the castle-rich hills of New York State. Splithair is quickly captured by the Son of Count Dracula (tSoCD) and Undermeyer is only saved by the timely intervention of a nosy Bulletman. TSoCD retreats from the dawn and Bulletman escorts a panicky Undermeyer home.

    The next day Bulletgirl, justifiably upset at being left behind on the first outing, does some investigating of her own and is promptly added to tSoCD’s collection of prisoners, and then Bulletman shows up to save the day.

    The Son of Count Dracula turns out to be Splithair, of course, and while I admire his imagination and sticktoitiveness I must note that it is entirely his fault that he was caught. Beyond even the question of whether he should have taken the job to investigate his own crimes there is the simple fact that he didn’t need to run a vampire-themed kidnapping ring out of Vampire Castle. Run a regular kidnapping ring somewhere inconspicuous, man! Make yourself at least a little hard to find!

  • MINOR SUPER-HERO 362: THE SON OF COUNT DRACULA

    (Master Comics 020, 1941)

    The Son of Count Dracula: 100/100 for theming and commitment to the bit, 0/100 for practical planning. 

    So: a team of private detectives named Splithair and Undermeyer are hired to investigate a series of disappearances associated with Vampire Castle, located in the castle-rich hills of New York State. Splithair is quickly captured by the Son of Count Dracula (tSoCD) and Undermeyer is only saved by the timely intervention of a nosy Bulletman. TSoCD retreats from the dawn and Bulletman escorts a panicky Undermeyer home.

    The next day Bulletgirl, justifiably upset at being left behind on the first outing, does some investigating of her own and is promptly added to tSoCD’s collection of prisoners, and then Bulletman shows up to save the day.

    The Son of Count Dracula turns out to be Splithair, of course, and while I admire his imagination and sticktoitiveness I must note that it is entirely his fault that he was caught. Beyond even the question of whether he should have taken the job to investigate his own crimes there is the simple fact that he didn’t need to run a vampire-themed kidnapping ring out of Vampire Castle. Run a regular kidnapping ring somewhere inconspicuous, man! Make yourself at least a little hard to find!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 278: THE VAMPIRE KILLER

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 020, 1941)

    We open on a fear-gripped Star City (not the one you’re thinking of), in which ten people have been killed and drained of their blood. VAMPIRE! KILLER!

    An eleventh soon joins their ranks, and we get a look at the Vampire Killer in his cool as hell Shadow cosplay. VAMPIRE! KILLER! INTO! FASHION!

    But it seems all is not as we thought! Extradimensional smoke-man the Vision, exercising the oft-overlooked super-hero skill of Research, discovers that the so-called Vampire Killer is in reality biochemical Experiment 36-B, AKA Florus Homo. I don’t know that I want to blame the victim here, but engineering an intelligent plant that feeds on blood is a comic book science version of Russian Roulette. PLANT! MAN! DAD! EATER!

    And of course, having learned that the Vampire Killer is no vampire, we get to see it’s face in all of its Kirby-designed glory. Makes you wish that it hadn’t been set on fire by the Vision one page later. But it’s a plant, right? And seeds! Seeds can stay viable for centuries! There’s still hope, even now! BRING! BACK! TURNIP! HEAD!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 265: THE MAD DOCTOR

    (Marvel Mystery Comics v1 009, 1940)

    This one, while not being particularly spectacular as a whole does contain a lot of fun elements. Let’s count them off!

    We open on our hero one a one-issue trip to Europe (1) where he pooh-poohs the local superstitions (2) about a castle full of vampires who steal young women (3).

    The Angel – for it is he who pooh-poohs – quickly gets mixed up in an attempted vampiric abduction and, surprise surprise, the guy isn’t actually a vampire at all (4). A shame, because I love it when vampires are wretched little weasels instead of cool guys in evening wear.

    It turns out that the supposed vampire clan is actually a front for an unnamed mad scientist – “Mad Doctor” is a captions-only unofficial name (5) – who is kidnapping the young women for use as test subjects (6) in his mind-swapping machine (7) and he intends to place his latest victim’s mind into the body of a gorilla (8).

    Lucky for the hapless fraulein, the Angel shows up, there is a fracas and the whole place ends up exploding (9).