The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: smuggler

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 969: THE SCORPION

    (Fantastic Comics 021, 1941)

    The Scorpion is an Irish super-criminal who, in a classic villain move, inspires the creation of his own nemesis when he slays a man on the moors near Cork one dark night (and whether there are any moors in that area is surprisingly tedious to find out, so just colour me generically skeptical) as part of a scheme to acquire a gold deposit.

    The future nemesis in question is the man’s stepson, Jim O’Donnell, whose subsequent pursuit of justice for the murder leads to him becoming the costumed vigilante known as the Banshee. And speaking of banshees: the reason hat the Scorpion leaves Jim alive as a potential witness to the murder is that he mistakes a wailing gust of wind for a banshee’s cry and runs away rather than finish murdering him.

    In addition to the fact that he is very superstitious and also our first Irish super-villain, the third noteworthy thing about the Scorpion is the fact that he doesn’t look anything like a scorpion, and instead has a kind of demonic imp look going on, perhaps one that is meant to be a kind of “if a scorpion was a guy” concept. 

    The Scorpion next heads to NYC to murder Jim’s step-cousin Joan O’Neill as his original victim’s last surviving heir (as mentioned in the Banshee entry: Jim and his step-father were close in a “vengeance ques” but not a “be left something in the will” kind of way).

    The Scorpion is of course captured before he is able to murder Joan, and it’s a rough one for him: in addition to being unmasked, he is distracted at a critical moment by a police siren (and if that’s the threshold that he has for “banshee noises” then he must live in a state of perpetual fear, even in 1940s NYC), has Jim fall on him and break his leg while stumbling around with a clothesline worth of sheets rapped around him, and to add insult to injury is taken to jail by the only two non-Irish cops in comic book NYC (“what the heck is a banshee?”, sheesh).

    Not to be dissuaded, the Scorpion breaks jail and gets into the arms smuggling business with a new green mask. His major rival in this is crooked air transport company owner Joe Collins, who coincidentally happens to be Joan’s boss who has just agreed to give Jim a job as well. Despite some particularly gruesome warnings in the form a missing pilot’s head and hand, Collins refuses to give up his smuggling business and gets himself murdered by the Scorpion. 

    The Scorpion remains wildly superstitious, however, and once Jim shows up in his Banshee costume it’s basically all over. Do you reckon he gets sent back to Ireland to serve time for his crimes there, or does he go to American jail first?

    Categorized in: Animals (Scorpions), Narrative Footballs (Origin Story Guys), Supranormal Beings (Imps)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 969: THE SCORPION

    (Fantastic Comics 021, 1941)

    The Scorpion is an Irish super-criminal who, in a classic villain move, inspires the creation of his own nemesis when he slays a man on the moors near Cork one dark night (and whether there are any moors in that area is surprisingly tedious to find out, so just colour me generically skeptical) as part of a scheme to acquire a gold deposit.

    The future nemesis in question is the man’s stepson, Jim O’Donnell, whose subsequent pursuit of justice for the murder leads to him becoming the costumed vigilante known as the Banshee. And speaking of banshees: the reason hat the Scorpion leaves Jim alive as a potential witness to the murder is that he mistakes a wailing gust of wind for a banshee’s cry and runs away rather than finish murdering him.

    In addition to the fact that he is very superstitious and also our first Irish super-villain, the third noteworthy thing about the Scorpion is the fact that he doesn’t look anything like a scorpion, and instead has a kind of demonic imp look going on, perhaps one that is meant to be a kind of “if a scorpion was a guy” concept. 

    The Scorpion next heads to NYC to murder Jim’s step-cousin Joan O’Neill as his original victim’s last surviving heir (as mentioned in the Banshee entry: Jim and his step-father were close in a “vengeance ques” but not a “be left something in the will” kind of way).

    The Scorpion is of course captured before he is able to murder Joan, and it’s a rough one for him: in addition to being unmasked, he is distracted at a critical moment by a police siren (and if that’s the threshold that he has for “banshee noises” then he must live in a state of perpetual fear, even in 1940s NYC), has Jim fall on him and break his leg while stumbling around with a clothesline worth of sheets rapped around him, and to add insult to injury is taken to jail by the only two non-Irish cops in comic book NYC (“what the heck is a banshee?”, sheesh).

    Not to be dissuaded, the Scorpion breaks jail and gets into the arms smuggling business with a new green mask. His major rival in this is crooked air transport company owner Joe Collins, who coincidentally happens to be Joan’s boss who has just agreed to give Jim a job as well. Despite some particularly gruesome warnings in the form a missing pilot’s head and hand, Collins refuses to give up his smuggling business and gets himself murdered by the Scorpion. 

    The Scorpion remains wildly superstitious, however, and once Jim shows up in his Banshee costume it’s basically all over. Do you reckon he gets sent back to Ireland to serve time for his crimes there, or does he go to American jail first?

    Categorized in: Animals (Scorpions), Narrative Footballs (Origin Story Guys), Supranormal Beings (Imps)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 856: THE PANTHER

    (Famous Funnies 067, 1940)

    The Panther is a no-nonsense Western gang boss who actually avoids a lot of the common missteps of the average super-villain by running an extremely tight ship in her munitions-smuggling gang. Is maintaining workplace discipline with a bullwhip the best idea? No, but it is better than workplace explosions.

    The Panther’s downfall starts when she puts a little two much trust in her lieutenants, Luis and Ramon, and they immediately go out and do some unsanctioned train robbing. Trouble is, the robbery was somehow pinned on Lone Rider, who ends up escaping the law and stumbling around in the desert until he passes out on the Panther’s front door. It’s hardly the most efficient way to infiltrate a gang, but it works.

    The Lone Rider (going by the name Lightnin’, which is his horse’s name) proves his worthiness to join the gang by beating all of the Panther’s specialists: he out-shoots Tex the gunhawk and out-fights Santos the strong man and then as a bonus because Santos is a poor loser the Panther gets to show off the fact that she can pick a knife out of the air with her whip.

    Luis and Ramon eventually decide that they could do a better job at running the gang than the Panther (despite all evidence to the contrary) and rally the rest of the men to join them. The Panther proves them all wrong of course, when she deploys the knockout gas system that she had put in place outside of her fortified chambers for this very reason. The only unexpected variable turns out to be Lightnin’, who reveals himself to be the Lone Rider and turns her over to the authorities.

    Ultimately the Panther doesn’t really get enough room to shine – she has sick whip skills, a pet panther, special lieutenants, a secret mountain base and good (criminal) business acumen – the conflict with Luis and Ramon is over expanding their purview to include kidnapping, and she is right to tell them no! They’re running a clandestine smuggling operation, while kidnapping is by its very nature a very attention-getting crime! It’s a hard life out there for a competent villain.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 741: THE MASKED ONE

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 741: THE MASKED ONE

    (Smash Comics 007, 1940)

    Sometimes a villain is as simple as a hooded gun-runner called the Masked One, and that’s who we have here. Also, he is captured by Quality Comics adventure character Abdul the Arab, a name that isn’t technically problematic but sure does make the corner of your eye twitch when you read it (plus the comics it appears in meet all the problematic specifications, so your eye is right to react).

    The Masked One is actually Webb, a character who could not be more clearly signposted as the prime suspect if his name was Eno Deksam but who elicits the same amount of surprise when unmasked as Abdul’s own mother might. Perhaps he was just giving the Masked One the benefit of the doubt in not assuming he’d be so obvious.

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 019

    We may have gotten away from the “costumed” and “generic” is debatable but you can take the “villain” from my cold dead hands. 

    This guy is part of a gang who:

    -broke into Fort Knox via a secret tunnel

    -smashed up up all of the gold and mixed it into stone in a nearby quarry

    -transported that gold-bearing stone from the quarry to a mansion

    -melted down the gold and concealed it inside a series of bronze statues

    And while I suppose that you want to take a lot of care to conceal your movements when you are looting the US gold reserve I just have to be on record as saying that this is an unnecessarily complex scheme. Just book it for the border, fellows!

    Also Dynamo, stung by the razzing of government investigators, gilds the entire gang… thus killing them? before turning them in. Brutal stuff. (Science Comics 002, 1940)

    This very cool looking but unnamed spy chief has developed anti-Dynamo technology that renders him immune to the various beams and rays that usually assail the hero’s foes, which he uses to make off with some explosive wire that Dynamo and the nerds at his day job have made. He pulls off this theft pretty slickly but then completely fails to recognize the difficulty of attempting to pull off a scheme (in this case blowing up US military installations using explosive wire) while a super-hero is after you. It’s a real failure to recognize the opportunity to slay Dynamo while he can’t get you, unnamed spy chief! (Science Comics 004, 1940)

    John J. Hix, millionaire and asylum escapee, needs to get revenge on his old friend for some reason, so he puts on a cloak that makes him look like the ghost of a cat and hires some crooks to kidnap his friend’s daughter Doris Dare (a “society deb singer,” which is not a type of entertainer I am familiar with. Was it a thing? It’s hard to tell!) so that he can kill her. He is opposed by heroic police inspector the Duke and ends up blowing himself up rather than be captured. (Silver Streak Comics 002, 1940)

    The Sky Wolf encounters this goofy-but-also-cool magnetically-shielded fire-breathing duck/dragon/plane as it attacks fishing boats one day and traces it back to a similarly magnetically-shielded base where crooks armed with plastic guns inform him that all of this is essentially prep work in advance of setting up a smuggling operation.

    Now, issues of whether the expense involved in setting up this operation might cut substantially into any profits realized from it or indeed whether simply selling this magnetic bullet shield to one of the many armies extant in 1940 might be more profitable aside… my admittedly layman’s understanding of how smuggling works is that you really want to keep it as quiet as possible. Maybe I’m naive, but establishing a huge messy monster-infested exclusion zone might just… draw more attention to your operation? Like a masked pilot, for example? 

    Anyway, they all get blown up. (Silver Streak Comics 006, 1940)

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 019

    We may have gotten away from the “costumed” and “generic” is debatable but you can take the “villain” from my cold dead hands. 

    This guy is part of a gang who:

    -broke into Fort Knox via a secret tunnel

    -smashed up up all of the gold and mixed it into stone in a nearby quarry

    -transported that gold-bearing stone from the quarry to a mansion

    -melted down the gold and concealed it inside a series of bronze statues

    And while I suppose that you want to take a lot of care to conceal your movements when you are looting the US gold reserve I just have to be on record as saying that this is an unnecessarily complex scheme. Just book it for the border, fellows!

    Also Dynamo, stung by the razzing of government investigators, gilds the entire gang… thus killing them? before turning them in. Brutal stuff. (Science Comics 002, 1940)

    This very cool looking but unnamed spy chief has developed anti-Dynamo technology that renders him immune to the various beams and rays that usually assail the hero’s foes, which he uses to make off with some explosive wire that Dynamo and the nerds at his day job have made. He pulls off this theft pretty slickly but then completely fails to recognize the difficulty of attempting to pull off a scheme (in this case blowing up US military installations using explosive wire) while a super-hero is after you. It’s a real failure to recognize the opportunity to slay Dynamo while he can’t get you, unnamed spy chief! (Science Comics 004, 1940)

    John J. Hix, millionaire and asylum escapee, needs to get revenge on his old friend for some reason, so he puts on a cloak that makes him look like the ghost of a cat and hires some crooks to kidnap his friend’s daughter Doris Dare (a “society deb singer,” which is not a type of entertainer I am familiar with. Was it a thing? It’s hard to tell!) so that he can kill her. He is opposed by heroic police inspector the Duke and ends up blowing himself up rather than be captured. (Silver Streak Comics 002, 1940)

    The Sky Wolf encounters this goofy-but-also-cool magnetically-shielded fire-breathing duck/dragon/plane as it attacks fishing boats one day and traces it back to a similarly magnetically-shielded base where crooks armed with plastic guns inform him that all of this is essentially prep work in advance of setting up a smuggling operation.

    Now, issues of whether the expense involved in setting up this operation might cut substantially into any profits realized from it or indeed whether simply selling this magnetic bullet shield to one of the many armies extant in 1940 might be more profitable aside… my admittedly layman’s understanding of how smuggling works is that you really want to keep it as quiet as possible. Maybe I’m naive, but establishing a huge messy monster-infested exclusion zone might just… draw more attention to your operation? Like a masked pilot, for example? 

    Anyway, they all get blown up. (Silver Streak Comics 006, 1940)

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 018

    The hits flops just keep coming.

    This gang doesn’t bother to give themself a proper name even though their scheme is extremely big and loud: they have access to a magnetic ray device and have employed it to pull down multiple large buildings in scenic Midtown City, thus killing between one and four thousand people (a printing error obscures the exact number), all so that their demands for protection money from the owners of other buildings will be paid without question. It’s just as well that the Comet eye-beams them all.

    I really am stuck on the fact that they haven’t bothered to give themselves a name, when they have such attention to detail that the hostages they grabbed in order to stymie the Comet were literally Mr & Mrs John Q. Public Priorities differ, I suppose. (Pep Comics 009, 1940)

    Buck Brady of the FBI is investigating a gang that is smuggling Malaysians across the Canada/ US border (because nobody would expect them to, that’s why) and the ringleader, when he shows up, is dressed fantastically. I cannot believe that more super-villains aren’t wearing big fur coats when they look so great when paired with a cowl mask. Anyway, he turns out to be Lieutenant Thomas of the US Border Patrol. (Prize Comics 003, 1940)

    Move over pre-2000s Wolverine, because this guy right here is possibly the most mysterious figure in comics. Samson and David track him to the hidden City of Erde after he initiates a series of attacks against the US, presumably with an eye on conquering it. But who is he? How did he become king of Erde and its population of cavemen? Where did he get the weaponry his cavemen are using in their attacks? Just how the heck did a whole city full of cavemen go unnoticed smack in the middle of the US, secret valley or no? (Samson 002, 1940)

    This unnamed mustachioed man is remarkable mostly for the number of pivots that he manages to pull off over the course of a 13-page story. He first attracts Samsons’s attention with a scheme to pit the presumably South American country of Ecuazil against its neighbour (sadly unnamed but probably something like Perile or Aregentuay) and then conquer both once they were both sufficiently weakened by the fighting. Once Samson and David put an end to that he hypnotically enslaved Samson for a while, then launched into a full-fledged invasion of the US. Pretty good range, I’d say.

    The US invasion plan also featured this amazing spindly-legged flamethrower tank. Bask in its pleasing aesthetics and questionable strategic value! Please also note David in these panels as this is a good representation of his role in the comic: all enthusiasm, willing to lasso absolutely anything, very low actual impact on events as they unfold but clearly Samson enjoys having him around.

    Finally, I don’t quite know why but I feel that I must highlight this sequence in which Samson hurls a man into a pit and then his lifeless body is just there for the next two panels. I want to frame this and hang it on my wall. (Samson 002, 1940)

  • PROBLEMATIC ROUND-UP 002

    Once again I present the worst that comics has to offer.

    The Great Green Turtle:

    The Great Green Turtle is just your standard Yellow Peril Chinatown ganglord, albeit one with a fantastic name. He does try to throw Sub-Zero, a man with ice powers, into a shark tank so we can safely say that he is not a villain with fantastic intelligence. His gem-smuggling ring gets thoroughly kiboshed. (Blue Bolt v1 004, 1940)

    The Lama:

    The Lama is a bandit chief, essentially, albeit one with a name from one religious tradition and henchmen – Thuggees, natch – from another. He hijacks a plantation and then gets beat up by aviator Captain Kidd. (Fantastic Comics 010, 1940)

    The Fire God:

    If there’s one thing that Captain Kidd likes, it’s finding lost explorers, so when a fellow named Benson goes missing he’s off like a shot. He finds Benson about to be sacrificed to the Fire God, a masked figure who a well-placed kick reveals to be a Hitler lookalike in a mask (the Hitler thing is either a coincidence or just kind of meant to indicate generic megalomania in the Fire God’s character). This one not only has a white guy easily convincing a group of credulous natives that he is a god but an instance of White People Vs Everyone else as Captain Kidd fruitlessly tries to get out of a sticky situation by playing the race card.

    The Fire God ultimately meets his end in the classic writer’s cop-out when they don’t want to make their guy do a murder: he falls and hits his head on a rock after a sock to the jaw. (Fantastic Comics 011, 1940)

    Mad Ming:

    Part of me wants to give Mad Ming some credit for not being as racist a Yellow Peril villain as someone like the Great Green Turtle, but he basically is and I am being tricked. Ming talks and dresses like a normal person and so all of his outrageous villainy is recontextualized, and maybe he would be worthy of reconsideration if all of his schemes and his henchmen and his nom de crime weren’t still mired in the muck of the Oriental pulp villain, but as it stands he’s just mildly better than his peers, racist stereotype-wise. (Funny Pages v4 001, 1940)

  • PROBLEMATIC ROUND-UP 002

    Once again I present the worst that comics has to offer.

    The Great Green Turtle:

    The Great Green Turtle is just your standard Yellow Peril Chinatown ganglord, albeit one with a fantastic name. He does try to throw Sub-Zero, a man with ice powers, into a shark tank so we can safely say that he is not a villain with fantastic intelligence. His gem-smuggling ring gets thoroughly kiboshed. (Blue Bolt v1 004, 1940)

    The Lama:

    The Lama is a bandit chief, essentially, albeit one with a name from one religious tradition and henchmen – Thuggees, natch – from another. He hijacks a plantation and then gets beat up by aviator Captain Kidd. (Fantastic Comics 010, 1940)

    The Fire God:

    If there’s one thing that Captain Kidd likes, it’s finding lost explorers, so when a fellow named Benson goes missing he’s off like a shot. He finds Benson about to be sacrificed to the Fire God, a masked figure who a well-placed kick reveals to be a Hitler lookalike in a mask (the Hitler thing is either a coincidence or just kind of meant to indicate generic megalomania in the Fire God’s character). This one not only has a white guy easily convincing a group of credulous natives that he is a god but an instance of White People Vs Everyone else as Captain Kidd fruitlessly tries to get out of a sticky situation by playing the race card.

    The Fire God ultimately meets his end in the classic writer’s cop-out when they don’t want to make their guy do a murder: he falls and hits his head on a rock after a sock to the jaw. (Fantastic Comics 011, 1940)

    Mad Ming:

    Part of me wants to give Mad Ming some credit for not being as racist a Yellow Peril villain as someone like the Great Green Turtle, but he basically is and I am being tricked. Ming talks and dresses like a normal person and so all of his outrageous villainy is recontextualized, and maybe he would be worthy of reconsideration if all of his schemes and his henchmen and his nom de crime weren’t still mired in the muck of the Oriental pulp villain, but as it stands he’s just mildly better than his peers, racist stereotype-wise. (Funny Pages v4 001, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 644: THE SKULL

    (Fight Comics 003, 1940)

    This Skull is a smuggler notable only for his name and for being the first foe of Rip Regan, the Power-Man. I do appreciate the fact that these three panels are his only actual appearance in the story and they are exclusively concerned with him attempting to run away like a filthy coward.

    SKULL SCORE: A generous 1/5 for a somewhat cadaverous face.