The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: Space Smith

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 048

    Gosh! How alien they are!

    Frog-Men:

    These two Frog-Men cause trouble for Sub Saunders when they steal his ship for a little joyriding/ piracy session. They are undone by the fact that neither of them know how to drive, and are ultimately head-konked into submission after crash landing. What this tells us about Frog-Man society is unclear – if this were a Star Wars then the Frog-Men would end up being a race of car thieves, of course, but most societies don’t work like that. (Fantastic Comics 021, 1941)

    Martians:

    Today’s selection of Martians is going to include some classic design elements! First we have this species represented by the very helpful Darek. Darek is based on the old Speculative Evolution version of a Martian, with spindly limbs due to the lower gravity and huge ears and lungs to aid in hearing and breathing in a thin atmosphere. As a bonus, he’s also from a Mars that is covered in some classic canals, and has a hint of an interesting culture and mythology thanks to some early Jack Kirby writing. And of course he is green. A true classic Martian in many ways. (Crash Comics Adventures 003, 1940)

    Martians:

    These Martians aren’t quite as cool as the previous ones, but the ruddy tint to their skin is a real classic design element for aliens from the Red Planet. I also appreciate that they look a bit like Space Elves wearing little green hats. If “Space Smith” was still being created by Fletcher Hanks when they appeared I might speculate that they were of the same species as the Brain, but I can’t in good conscience do so now. Besides, even Hanks’ version of Mars supports multiple humanoid species.

    As a bonus, these Martians help Space Smith and Dianna defeat an attempted invasion of the Solar System by an extrasolar group called the Generals of Capella. We never actually learn much about these guys due to the fact that they attack with the aid of remote controlled meteors called “sandblasts,” but when has that ever mattered: they’re going on the list. (Fantastic Comics 009, 1940) 

    Martians:

    For our final Classic Martian Design Element, we have these warlike Martians dressed in futuristic Roman gear! The connection between the planet Mars and the god Mars has dramatically extended the reach of the brush-topped helmet in fiction over the years, and given us countless Martian aggressors to boot.

    These particular Martians are hell-bent on claiming the interior of one of the Living Planet Monsters as their own, for some reason, and the fact that they attack the human colonists who are already there is especially egregious because they don’t actually want to be there, they just got eaten. This unreasonable aggression is enough to make Saber, the Spy Fighter (there to rescue the Earth colonists) use his mega-powers to grow enormous and turf the entire Mars contingent out into the void of space. (Fight Comics 010, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 045

    No matter how many comic book aliens we catalogue, there are always more to see!

    Fish-Men:

    While fish men are nothing new, these particular ones have a couple of points of distinction: firstly they just look kind of nice, a bit more gracile and svelte than your usual humanoid fish. Secondly, they are in fact Moon Fish-Men, as they serve demi-god(?) and would-be King of the Moon Bakalma. This also makes them Moon Fish-Men from the 12th Century, as Bakalma is an enemy of former Crusader the Golden Knight. Finally, this means that many if not all of them were blown up by a volcano. (Fantastic Comics 017, 1941)

    Martian Imp Men:

    The Martian Imp Men are the servants of Martian villain Skomah the 7th, aka the Brain. They are unfailingly loyal and probably also mind-controlled, so we don’t get much of an idea of their culture is like, but their strong resemblance to something like a cross between a Gremlin and a D&D goblin is certainly giving me ideas. (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939)

    Martian Ogres:

    The Martian Ogres are a also pledged to the service of the Brain. They are larger, seemingly more intelligent and a bit less spiky than their presumably-distant cousins the Imp Men, and as such are sent off in a space fleet to destroy the Earth with Anti-Earth Demolishing Rays.

    Despite their best efforts – and whether it is due to mental conditioning or sheer love of the game they tray very hard – the Ogres are unable to overcome the full might of the Earth space fleet. (Fantastic Comics 002, 1940)

    Martians:

    In 1939, inventor Montague Dexter and his wife pilot an experimental rocket to Mars as a part of the New York World’s Fair. Stranded there by damage to their vehicle, they live there among the Martian people until 2000 CE, when their son Rex flies the newly-repaired rocket back to his ancestral planet. Though Rex sets out with the promise to return some day, this is to my knowledge the only appearance of the Martians in question. I really like them! I think that the artist was going for an amphibian look over all, but the slight bovine cast to the face is quite pleasant. Plus it’s nice to see some benevolent Martians now and then. (Mystery Men Comics 001, 1939)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 045

    No matter how many comic book aliens we catalogue, there are always more to see!

    Fish-Men:

    While fish men are nothing new, these particular ones have a couple of points of distinction: firstly they just look kind of nice, a bit more gracile and svelte than your usual humanoid fish. Secondly, they are in fact Moon Fish-Men, as they serve demi-god(?) and would-be King of the Moon Bakalma. This also makes them Moon Fish-Men from the 12th Century, as Bakalma is an enemy of former Crusader the Golden Knight. Finally, this means that many if not all of them were blown up by a volcano. (Fantastic Comics 017, 1941)

    Martian Imp Men:

    The Martian Imp Men are the servants of Martian villain Skomah the 7th, aka the Brain. They are unfailingly loyal and probably also mind-controlled, so we don’t get much of an idea of their culture is like, but their strong resemblance to something like a cross between a Gremlin and a D&D goblin is certainly giving me ideas. (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939)

    Martian Ogres:

    The Martian Ogres are a also pledged to the service of the Brain. They are larger, seemingly more intelligent and a bit less spiky than their presumably-distant cousins the Imp Men, and as such are sent off in a space fleet to destroy the Earth with Anti-Earth Demolishing Rays.

    Despite their best efforts – and whether it is due to mental conditioning or sheer love of the game they tray very hard – the Ogres are unable to overcome the full might of the Earth space fleet. (Fantastic Comics 002, 1940)

    Martians:

    In 1939, inventor Montague Dexter and his wife pilot an experimental rocket to Mars as a part of the New York World’s Fair. Stranded there by damage to their vehicle, they live there among the Martian people until 2000 CE, when their son Rex flies the newly-repaired rocket back to his ancestral planet. Though Rex sets out with the promise to return some day, this is to my knowledge the only appearance of the Martians in question. I really like them! I think that the artist was going for an amphibian look over all, but the slight bovine cast to the face is quite pleasant. Plus it’s nice to see some benevolent Martians now and then. (Mystery Men Comics 001, 1939)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 035

    Aliens! Aliens? Aliens.

    the Black-Light Men:

    Like the Emerald Men of Asperus, the Black-Light Men travel on a mobile planet (the Black-Light Planet, natch, so named because it is not visible using conventional light) and like so many Fletcher Hanks villains they are looking to take over the Earth, in this case by pulling the whole planet out of orbit and freezing it solid before selling it on to the Martians. Due to the Black-Light Planet’s perpetual cold, the Black-Light Men are all blubbery. Just what the little rhino horn situation they have going on is for is beyond me. 

    Luckily for the Earth, space hero Whirlwind Carter is on the case and the planet-jacking is halted before more than a measly few million people are killed. Carter leads the Earth military in a retaliatory strike on the Black-Light Planet but it quickly turns into a hand-to hand battle that leaves the human forces ata severe disadvantage.

    Thanks to Whirlwind Carter’s companion Brenda, the Black-Light Men are discovered to have a crippling fear of fire and armed with that knowledge the Earthian forces are able to drive them to self-destruction. (Daring Mystery Comics 005, 1940)

    Serviles: 

    Flip Falcon’s portal to the Fourth Dimension allows him to do a whole lot of different things, for instance: look at images of the planet Mercury and notice that there is a cool-looking city there, then visit that city with his partner Adele. We soon learn that the city is called Servil, and it is inhabited by some truly delightful aliens with the bodies of plucked chickens and the heads of bargain-basement mannequins and who are revealed to be called Serviles in a text box several issues after this appearance.

    The Serviles communicate using extremely cute golden helmets. Up until this point they might just be the perfect alien species, but they have to go and ruin it all by being weird 1940s misogynists and denying women the ability to speak (!) because they “talk too much.”

    Anyway, Servile civilization is plagued by these cool-looking dragonoid beasts called Heidites that crawl over from the hot side of Mercury to eat them, but who could care? (Fantastic Comics 005, 1940)

    Hoof-Men: 

    The Hoof-Men are 1. extremely burly 2. hoofed and 3. of a class of science fiction alien that can best be described as “space bullies,” who exist to give humans a hard time. In this case they have captured the (also very burly) space explorer Professor Darrel and are threatening to turn him into a bug if he doesn’t say that Hoof-Men are better than humans, and it all gets a little too real until space hero Cosmic Carson has to step in and break things up. (Science Comics 003, 1940)

    Hoppers:

    The Hoppers are yet another group of Fletcher Hanks aliens who live on a wandering planetoid, in this case on that looks just like a cartoon tropical island and seems to just aimlessly float through space. As might be expected given their name the Hoppers a big on jumping and can seemingly do so to get from planet to planet. They have the beefiest legs in comics and show them off in what I can only describe as bicycle shorts, in an astounding bit of predictive design-work.

    Unlike most Fletcher Hanks aliens, the Hoppers don’t have some sort of over-the-top plan to destroy humanity – they aren’t even hostile, as far as I can tell. They do hop on over to Space Smith’s ship as soon as it comes into range, which he interprets as a hostile act, but I’m inclined to disagree. The only aggression the Hoppers display is after they are trapped under a big metal net, and even then it is nonlethal.

    Perhaps Smith agrees with me after all, because instead of gruesomely killing the Hoppers he instead essentially pranks them by bringing them to New York City to be spooked by the hustle and bustle of big city life, with its bodegas and whatnot. Unable to hack the Big Apple, they hop back to their small-town planetoid. (Fantastic Comics 005, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 617: MOROSIO

    (Fantastic Comics 007, 1940)

    Like so many Space Smith adventures do, this one begins with Space and his ladyfriend Dianna being waylaid as they make their way around the Solar System. In this case a mysterious gas disables their spaceship and causes them to land on the moon Ganymede. From whence did this gas come? Why, it was the sinister laboratory of Morosio, not just a mad and/or criminal scientist but a mad and/or criminal scientist who has already been caught once and escaped to do further science crimes and/or madness.

    I like his sass (“Say Emperor Morosio”) and I love a villain with pre-baked backstory but I gotta say that Morosio’s hair leaves a lot to be desired.

    The really great thing about Morosio is that his henchmen of choice are these fellows who he made with his own two hands. They’re called the Crustaceans and they are peak character design. The base model is the size of a large cat, with a lobster body and a crab claw head, but they can range in size all the way up to maybe five feet tall. They have between zero and two arms and either have wings or little bipedal legs… I think that given a more advanced colour palette and a visual guide to different crab claw shapes you could populate an entire video game enemy ecosystem based off of the Crustacean design.

    The major flaw in the Crustaceans as henchmen is that they are vulnerable to radioactive beryllium, in that it makes them explode. Coincidentally, Ganymede is littered with radioactive beryllium, to the extent that not only is Space Smith able to defeat the entire Crustacean swam using a slingshot but also blow up Morosio’s whole operation to hell and gone with some spare radiation. A true design oversight!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 611: THE COMMANDER

    (Fantastic Comics 006, 1940)

    It happened again. Space Smith and Dianna were just noodling along through space when they found themselves captured and transported to the surface of a strange world by strange aliens. In this case the world is the annoyingly named Vacuum Meteor and the aliens are the extremely cool Vacuumites.

    Like the Robot Scientists before them, the Vacuumites don’t seem quite sure what to do with their new prisoners – it seems to be an opportunistic kidnapping. Lucky for them they have the decisive mind of the Vacuumite Commander at hand.

    The Commander orders that Space and Dianna be transformed into Vacuumites themselves using “vacuum ortho glows”. This suggests some interesting things about whether Vacuumites are a species or a condition, like a Dungeons & Dragons undead type that arises when someone dies in a particular fashion. Are there freeze-dried space mummies in the Spelljammer setting? There should be.

    Space and Dianna pull the old prisoner’s trick of yelling about being sick and then konking your guard on the head when they come to check on you (which works way more often than it should – why do so many villains hire compassionate prison guards?). After that it’s just a big brawl, during which the Commander makes an ill-advised unarmed charge ad a raygun-wielding Space Smith. An ignoble end for such a distinctive character.

    (I just remembered that space is a magic gas or something in Spelljammer and so our theoretical vacuum mummies wouldn’t work. Very sad)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 611: THE COMMANDER

    (Fantastic Comics 006, 1940)

    It happened again. Space Smith and Dianna were just noodling along through space when they found themselves captured and transported to the surface of a strange world by strange aliens. In this case the world is the annoyingly named Vacuum Meteor and the aliens are the extremely cool Vacuumites.

    Like the Robot Scientists before them, the Vacuumites don’t seem quite sure what to do with their new prisoners – it seems to be an opportunistic kidnapping. Lucky for them they have the decisive mind of the Vacuumite Commander at hand.

    The Commander orders that Space and Dianna be transformed into Vacuumites themselves using “vacuum ortho glows”. This suggests some interesting things about whether Vacuumites are a species or a condition, like a Dungeons & Dragons undead type that arises when someone dies in a particular fashion. Are there freeze-dried space mummies in the Spelljammer setting? There should be.

    Space and Dianna pull the old prisoner’s trick of yelling about being sick and then konking your guard on the head when they come to check on you (which works way more often than it should – why do so many villains hire compassionate prison guards?). After that it’s just a big brawl, during which the Commander makes an ill-advised unarmed charge ad a raygun-wielding Space Smith. An ignoble end for such a distinctive character.

    (I just remembered that space is a magic gas or something in Spelljammer and so our theoretical vacuum mummies wouldn’t work. Very sad)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 601: THE THINKER

    (Fantastic Comics 004, 1940) 

    After a couple of stories worth of interruptions, Space Smith and Dianna either finished the Brain off between issues or they and/or Fletcher Hanks forgot that he was an immanent threat to life on Earth because this issue finds them following a mysterious radio signal to sight-see a rare gold comet as it passes by the moon.

    Instead of watching the comet on its flyby, Space and Dianna are hit with a ray that disables their spaceship before being drawn to the surface. There they find themselves the captives of the Thinker and his army of headless goons. And here let me say that while it is not great that the Thinker’s only stated goal is to acquire Dianna as his “Empress-Goddess”, there is a clarity of purpose there that is a bit refreshing after seeing so many villains attempt to wed unwilling women as a mere opportunistic afterthought.

    Whether the Thinker had greater plans or if getting married to a woman and keeping her in a “flame-girdled Cage of Solitude” was his only goal in life will have to go unanswered because he learns the same hard lesson as so many other big-headed creeps in comics do: all of your big-head smart plans can be undone in an instant by some thoughtless violence. 

    RIP the Thinker: you should have controlled for muscleheads.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 596: THE ROBOT SCIENTISTS OF VENUS

    (Fantastic Comics 003, 1940) 

    The Robot Scientists of Venus are not particularly noteworthy villains on a lot of axes but they are the bosses of perhaps the most visually distinctive groups of the Golden Age, the Leopard Women of Venus.

    What other comic could offer a visual like this: a bevy of bodacious blonde babes in red leopardprint bodysuits, surfing through space on lizard monsters and blazing away with their head-guns? Other Fletcher Hanks comics, I guess, plus early Wonder Woman. But the point stands!

    (here is where I will put a brief aside on the notion of “transmitting” as it exists in Fletcher Hanks comics. Conceptually, transmitting involves just that, the transmission of matter along a light or radio beam of some kind. In practice, it’s more like just being able to fly around in space without any kind of life support like the Leopard Women here)

    Sadly, the Leopard Women are mere vassals of the dominant Venusian race and we don’t really see them again. Happily, the dominant Venusian race are these cool robots! Their leaders appear to be these robot scientists, who seem to be running these Leopard Woman space raids without any clear goals. Sure, they plan on turning Dianna into a Leopard Woman but that seems to be more of a spur-of-the-moment decision.

    Luckily for them, Space Smith escapes before they have to figure out what to do with him. The rest of the adventure is just a series of encounters with colourful robots as they make their way to their spaceship, starting with these (delightfully and conscientiously masked) robot surgeons.

    Everyone in this panel is grumpy.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 534: THE BRAIN

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 534: THE BRAIN

    (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939)

    We open on Space Smith and his girlfriend Dianna (sometimes Diana) having a trans-Lunar space-date ruined by Martian Imp Men and I am immediately struck with the dilemma engendered by nearly all Fletcher Hanks stories: follow through on my impulses and post most if not all panels or be judicious for the sake of space and readability? I went with the latter but it hurt.

    So in lieu of my posting every panel that features the great/horrible Martian Imp Men let’s just pause and appreciate how great they are.

    Space Smith and Dianna awaken in the laboratory of the great Martian scientist Skomah and learn that they have been kidnapped by Skomah’s 7th son, also called Skomah, aka the Brain, aka the Central Brain aka the Great Martian Central Brain.

    Really appreciate the detail that the Brain’s head is so big that it has to be held up with two special robot arms.

    Like a lot of big head smart guys, the Brain is convinced that it is his destiny to rule all of creation and is planning to start with Earth. He’s also a huge creep in the same was as a lot of those guys and a lot of super-villains in general, in the “capture a woman and declare that she will be your queen” way.

    Luckily for Dianna, a guy with a head so big he is literally bolted to the ground is not the hardest guy to get away from, even if he has a bunch of D&D 5e kobolds working for him. She and Space Smith get away incredibly easily, in fact, and spend the next few issues trying to get back to Mars to put a permanent end to Skomah the 7th (they never do actually get there. Perhaps they just lost interest when it became clear that the Brain was all talk. Or Fletcher Hanks just forgot).

    BONUS MAN-EATING MARTIAN MOSQUITO