The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: creep

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 569: NEPTINA

    (Champion Comics 002, 1939) 

    I can’t say for sure that whoever created Neptina sat down and said “I will make a lady version of Namor the Sub-Mariner” but it’s at least plausible. Neptina is the ruler of the undersea kingdom of Amloza, and has designs on a total conquest of the surface world as well as the depths.

    Neptina is, like Namor, a horny character. She captures US Navy Lieutenant Brad Fletcher early in her series and spends a considerable amount of mental, martial and political energy in subsequent installments in service of keeping him near her and away from other women.

    (note the little tuning fork thing that Neptina is holding – it works in concert with a telepathic receiver as a form of communication for the Fish-Men of Amloza. There are lots and lots of panels featuring characters who look like they’re playing with a toy from the 1920s when in fact they are talking to one another. It’s fun!)

    Neptina is shown to be a ruthless slaver with ranks of surface men pillaged from ships and equipped with gills in place of their human lungs. The reverse operation can be performed on Fish-Men to allow them to become fully amphibious, though the lungs involved must be harvested from a human. Neptina’s vanity is showcased when she demands that the lungs for her operation be harvested from a beautiful woman only. This also proves to be Neptina’s first major stumbling block, as Brad Fletcher immediately falls in love with movie star Norma Kane when she is brought to Amloza, and rescuing her is one of his major motivations for disrupting Neptina’s plans in early installments.

    More interesting than Neptina’s schemes is the biology of Amloza’s population. There appear to be at least two biological castes, with more humanoid Fish-Men Nobles like Brad Fletcher’s friend Gakk holding higher station than the fish-headed commoners (Neptina’s chief scientist Mogg is a regular Fish-Man and probably the most competent character in the comic, in a welcome nod to the foolishness of biological determinism).

    Complicating things further is the fact that the female population of Amloza appears to consist entirely of bodacious blonde babes in shell bras. If it were just Neptina I’d figure that she was a surface woman somehow elevated to the throne (the racial politics of the time would almost demand that a non-white/nonhuman group would instinctively subjugate themselves to a blonde bombshell), but this suggests the kind of sexual dimorphism we see in fantasy and sci-fi character design (mildly NSFW comic, but Oglaf as a whole is wildly NSFW).

    The other option, and the one I favour, is that the group represented by Neptina and the Fish-Men are two morphologically distinct but related species operating as a unified society – perhaps the Neptinans are naturally parthogenic (sp) which explains their seeming single gender, while the Fish-Men could lack any sexual dimorphism. The Fish-Men Nobles would thus represent hybrids of the two populations and thus their role as nobles could be seen as a bridge between the two.

    Speculative biology aside, here’s a timeline of Neptina’s deal:

    -after Brad Fletcher and Norma Kane escape, she acquires lungs from a second, less fortunate surface woman and makes her way to NYC.

    -while attempting to raise capital by selling some huge pearls, Neptina runs afoul of both the NYPD and a gang of crooks, who foolishly attempt to get rid of her via drowning and end up on the bottom of the harbour themselves.

    -the pearls in question are the sacred Tear Drops of Neptune and scientist Mogg, already a mite anti-monarchist in his leanings, embarks on a) a mission to recover them and b) an attempt to undermine Neptina’s plans of conquest.

    -also set against Neptina: Gakk the Fish-Man Noble and her own half-sister Mhersa, leader of a rebel group called the Maella.

    -Brad returns with a diplomatic envoy. Things are tense but civil until the surface folk help drive off an invasion by Dhakka Snail-Men. At this point, Neptina effectively reforms – Mogg has even seemingly forgiven her for making off with the sacred pearls. More dark: the US Government in the form of Brad Fletcher has forgiven her for the many crimes against its citizens in pursuit of a powerful alliance. 

    As 1940 closes, Brad, Norma, Neptina and Mogg are stranded mid-ocean and Mhersa has taken over Amloza. Will she be villainous enough to appear here? Find out when I make my way to the 1941 issues of Champ Comics!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 555: SHADDIBA

    (Wonder Comics 002, 1939)

    Shaddiba appears in the first adventure of magic hero Yarko the Great as an old enemy of Yarko who has come to the town of Hexville in the Allegheny Mountains of Pennsylvania. His exact reasons for doing so are unstated, so I reckon that it’s equally likely that Hexville is an especially ripe spot for crime as that he was attracted by the old haunted mansion on the hill that he moves into. Comic book expectations aside I reckon that sourcing those has to be a real estate nightmare – I’ve certainly never had the opportunity to rent one.

    Shaddiba’s dumb name also introduces the possibility that perhaps Yarko is not alone, that all magic users in this continuity have made-up nonsense monikers. It’s the only rational explanation!

    Shaddiba does a lot of mouthing off to Yarko about what a great magician he is and how much Yarko sucks and to be fair Yarko is unable to break the mental hold that Shaddiba has on several locals in order to compel them to rob and murder (as well as on a local woman because he is a creep), but this is definitely classified as hubris.

    The fact that Shaddiba lambastes Yarko for intruding on the “sacred arts” of the “magic of the East” and then immediately invokes Lucifer as the source of his power is weird.

    The disagreement between the two magicians comes to a head in an all-out astral smackdown. A lot of the astral battling that we’ve seen so far (e.g., the one in this Mr Justice episode) has been quite quick-and-dirty decisive, so it’s neat to see these fellows really get into it.

    Shaddiba surrenders rather than be flung into the Chasm of Oblivion but if there’s one trait almost universally shared by super-villains it’s being a sore loser and so he blows himself to smithereens rather than live with the consequences of his actions.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 553: LANDOR, MAKER OF MONSTERS

    (Speed Comics 001, 1939)

    Landor, Maker of Monsters is a fellow who hangs out in a castle and – no big surprise – makes monsters. He’s also the title character of his feature, which is not unprecidented in Golden Age comics but worth noting whenever it’s the case.

    Landor is just about finished with his very first monster when socialites Tony Torrence and his fiance  Marcia NoLastName show up at his door seeking shelter from the stormy night. Just why they are on a mountain (in a storm, in the middle of the night) in what appear to be riding clothes is not elaborated on.

    Landor’s first creature, the Brute, is basically a frankenstein and is horny for Marcia. Not only does this mess up Tony and Marcia’s nights but it leads to Landor himself being dashed against a wall when he acts threatening to Marcia and the Brute doesn’t like it.

    The Brute meets his end as a biological crash mat when he and Tony fall off a high balcony. Tony and Marcia flee and between the wall trauma and the obligatory laboratory fire Lando, Maker of Monsters is assumed to be dead.

    But no! Landor lives! An ass has been made of you and of me! He is merely burnt to a crisp! And it is now he who is the horny one, or at least the one who creates a seven foot tall babe in a one-piece swimsuit to do his bidding – is this the one time where attempting to murder a young couple is the more wholesome of two options?

    Carda (for that is the flying woman’s name) meets with some initial success but is hampered by the fact that she is very flammable. Marcia sets her wings on fire entirely by accident, by merely holding a torch. This time Landor is thought to be dead because he leaps out of a high window.

    In his third appearance, Landor has abandoned anthropomorphism entirely in favour of mobilizing a fleet of giant mosquitoes to enact his revenge on Tony and Marcia. As is becoming evident by this point, revenge is not a kind mistress to Landor – giant mosquitoes, while formidable, are vulnerable to both “getting shot” and “being exploded along with your boss and his castle” and so it’s back to the drawing board for a fourth time. Once he gets over being exploded, of course.

    UPDATE: Landor, Maker of Monsters (1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 553: LANDOR, MAKER OF MONSTERS

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 553: LANDOR, MAKER OF MONSTERS

    (Speed Comics 001, 1939)

    Landor, Maker of Monsters is a fellow who hangs out in a castle and – no big surprise – makes monsters. He’s also the title character of his feature, which is not unprecidented in Golden Age comics but worth noting whenever it’s the case.

    Landor is just about finished with his very first monster when socialites Tony Torrence and his fiance  Marcia NoLastName show up at his door seeking shelter from the stormy night. Just why they are on a mountain (in a storm, in the middle of the night) in what appear to be riding clothes is not elaborated on.

    Landor’s first creature, the Brute, is basically a frankenstein and is horny for Marcia. Not only does this mess up Tony and Marcia’s nights but it leads to Landor himself being dashed against a wall when he acts threatening to Marcia and the Brute doesn’t like it.

    The Brute meets his end as a biological crash mat when he and Tony fall off a high balcony. Tony and Marcia flee and between the wall trauma and the obligatory laboratory fire Lando, Maker of Monsters is assumed to be dead.

    But no! Landor lives! An ass has been made of you and of me! He is merely burnt to a crisp! And it is now he who is the horny one, or at least the one who creates a seven foot tall babe in a one-piece swimsuit to do his bidding – is this the one time where attempting to murder a young couple is the more wholesome of two options?

    Carda (for that is the flying woman’s name) meets with some initial success but is hampered by the fact that she is very flammable. Marcia sets her wings on fire entirely by accident, by merely holding a torch. This time Landor is thought to be dead because he leaps out of a high window.

    In his third appearance, Landor has abandoned anthropomorphism entirely in favour of mobilizing a fleet of giant mosquitoes to enact his revenge on Tony and Marcia. As is becoming evident by this point, revenge is not a kind mistress to Landor – giant mosquitoes, while formidable, are vulnerable to both “getting shot” and “being exploded along with your boss and his castle” and so it’s back to the drawing board for a fourth time. Once he gets over being exploded, of course.

    UPDATE: Landor, Maker of Monsters (1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 552: BARON VON KAMPF

    (Speed Comics 001, 1939) 

    Baron von Kampf! Major recurring Shock Gibson villain and aspiring world conqueror. He’s exactly the sort of evil, sneering gloating villain that I love to see vex the heroes of yesteryear, and due to the fact that his appearances are concentrated in the early days of the super-hero medium that’s about all the characterization he gets. He wants to rule the world and he’s a dick about it.

    But who needs characterization when you’ve 1. got the appearance of a weird little goblin man and 2. employ the services of what are possibly the greatest henchmen of the Golden Age: the Zombies!

    “This Better Not Awaken Anything In Me”

    According to Baron von Kampf, the Zombies are radio-controlled creatures made out of animal parts. Just why they’re called zombies is a mystery – the idea of the zombie as a resurrected corpse or corpselike drugged (or mystically enthralled) person was very much in the cultural ether in 1939, so who the heck knows?

    Naming conventions aside the Zombies look terrific, particularly in a huge group – they’re like something that Steve Ditko might draw swarming out of a portal to beat up Dr Strange.

    Baron von Kampf’s second appearance in Speed Comics 002 sadly does not involve the Zombies but does feature that old favourite gizmo, the engine killing ray, which von Kampf is employing to bring down airplanes in order to conquer the South American nation of El Matador. 

    The real interesting thing about the Baron in this issue is that he still has on what I previously assumed to be some sort of surgical cap but might just be the top of his head? Like it’s a metal plate or something? Like all aspects of the Baron’s appearance it goes unmentioned in the text so we can only speculate on why exactly he is Like That.

    Baron von Kampf shows up maybe half a dozen times total but the real attraction is the Zombies, who get a bit weirder as time goes on. We”l be seeing them again, I assure you.

    UPDATE: Baron von Kampf 1940

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 552: BARON VON KAMPF

    (Speed Comics 001, 1939) 

    Baron von Kampf! Major recurring Shock Gibson villain and aspiring world conqueror. He’s exactly the sort of evil, sneering gloating villain that I love to see vex the heroes of yesteryear, and due to the fact that his appearances are concentrated in the early days of the super-hero medium that’s about all the characterization he gets. He wants to rule the world and he’s a dick about it.

    But who needs characterization when you’ve 1. got the appearance of a weird little goblin man and 2. employ the services of what are possibly the greatest henchmen of the Golden Age: the Zombies!

    “This Better Not Awaken Anything In Me”

    According to Baron von Kampf, the Zombies are radio-controlled creatures made out of animal parts. Just why they’re called zombies is a mystery – the idea of the zombie as a resurrected corpse or corpselike drugged (or mystically enthralled) person was very much in the cultural ether in 1939, so who the heck knows?

    Naming conventions aside the Zombies look terrific, particularly in a huge group – they’re like something that Steve Ditko might draw swarming out of a portal to beat up Dr Strange.

    Baron von Kampf’s second appearance in Speed Comics 002 sadly does not involve the Zombies but does feature that old favourite gizmo, the engine killing ray, which von Kampf is employing to bring down airplanes in order to conquer the South American nation of El Matador. 

    The real interesting thing about the Baron in this issue is that he still has on what I previously assumed to be some sort of surgical cap but might just be the top of his head? Like it’s a metal plate or something? Like all aspects of the Baron’s appearance it goes unmentioned in the text so we can only speculate on why exactly he is Like That.

    Baron von Kampf shows up maybe half a dozen times total but the real attraction is the Zombies, who get a bit weirder as time goes on. We”l be seeing them again, I assure you.

    UPDATE: Baron von Kampf 1940

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 539: THE CLAW

    (Silver Streak Comics 001, 1939)

    The Claw is a character we will be returning to – he’s one of the most prominent Golden Age super-villains, after all – but this entry is concerned only with his first appearance in accordance with my new policy of approaching things as they come. And while the Claw who eventually battles super-heroes like the Ghost and Daredevil and massacres thousands in an attempt at world domination is a size-changing monster-man this first version reads more like an elaborate hoax.

    As the story opens, “chemist-adventurer” Jerry Morris and “America’s only female ambassador” Eloise Pearsall dock at the Pacific island of Ricca on their way to China with a shipload of gold to aid in the war with Japan. One hitch: Ricca is home to the Claw, a giant who holds the whole island in the grip of fear and incidentally also runs the submarine pirate operation that is looting ships in the region.

    The Claw maintains his grip on the island using his own fearsome looming presence, plus a “maddening hum” that also influences Eloise Pearsall to jump overboard and make her way to the castle because the Claw is also a creep who wants a “queen” and doesn’t care if he has to do a little mind control to get it.

    Jerry Morris of course goes after his travel companion and it’s a good thing that he’s a chemist-adventurer because he manages to whip up a useful serum in his stateroom/ laboratory, a radium-based solution that renders one immune to “any mental or physical attack”. Jerry infiltrates the Claw’s organization by feigning interest in signing up and discovers that the Claw ensures loyalty in his henchmen by giving them addictively pleasant dreams (and also punishes them with nightmares, natch). Eloise is in the first stages of the addiction treatment but lucky for her the radium serum covers that too and one shot later she is free.

    Thanks to his complete immunity to harm, Jerry goes on to foil a submarine raid on the gold shipment and returns with a load of sailors all hopped up on serum. They rout the Claw’s men only to find the villain’s throne empty and abandoned.

    (due to a flamethrower attack by the Claw’s defenders there is also an unusual amount of male nudity thanks to the invulnerable men not thinking to wear invulnerable clothing)

    Like I said, if I didn’t know that the next issue would feature the Claw walking around and demonstrating his power to grow to colossal sizes I would assume that he was a fake, engineered to keep the island people under the thumb of some schemer like the Purple Monster – the enthroned Claw actually a robotic shell, the towering Claw some sort of projection or inflatable. The mind control? Sonics and drugs. After all, why would such an enormous man flee from a handful of nudists, even if they are invulnerable?

    UPDATE 1940

    UPDATE 1941 Part 1 

    UPDATE 1941 Part 2 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 539: THE CLAW

    (Silver Streak Comics 001, 1939)

    The Claw is a character we will be returning to – he’s one of the most prominent Golden Age super-villains, after all – but this entry is concerned only with his first appearance in accordance with my new policy of approaching things as they come. And while the Claw who eventually battles super-heroes like the Ghost and Daredevil and massacres thousands in an attempt at world domination is a size-changing monster-man this first version reads more like an elaborate hoax.

    As the story opens, “chemist-adventurer” Jerry Morris and “America’s only female ambassador” Eloise Pearsall dock at the Pacific island of Ricca on their way to China with a shipload of gold to aid in the war with Japan. One hitch: Ricca is home to the Claw, a giant who holds the whole island in the grip of fear and incidentally also runs the submarine pirate operation that is looting ships in the region.

    The Claw maintains his grip on the island using his own fearsome looming presence, plus a “maddening hum” that also influences Eloise Pearsall to jump overboard and make her way to the castle because the Claw is also a creep who wants a “queen” and doesn’t care if he has to do a little mind control to get it.

    Jerry Morris of course goes after his travel companion and it’s a good thing that he’s a chemist-adventurer because he manages to whip up a useful serum in his stateroom/ laboratory, a radium-based solution that renders one immune to “any mental or physical attack”. Jerry infiltrates the Claw’s organization by feigning interest in signing up and discovers that the Claw ensures loyalty in his henchmen by giving them addictively pleasant dreams (and also punishes them with nightmares, natch). Eloise is in the first stages of the addiction treatment but lucky for her the radium serum covers that too and one shot later she is free.

    Thanks to his complete immunity to harm, Jerry goes on to foil a submarine raid on the gold shipment and returns with a load of sailors all hopped up on serum. They rout the Claw’s men only to find the villain’s throne empty and abandoned.

    (due to a flamethrower attack by the Claw’s defenders there is also an unusual amount of male nudity thanks to the invulnerable men not thinking to wear invulnerable clothing)

    Like I said, if I didn’t know that the next issue would feature the Claw walking around and demonstrating his power to grow to colossal sizes I would assume that he was a fake, engineered to keep the island people under the thumb of some schemer like the Purple Monster – the enthroned Claw actually a robotic shell, the towering Claw some sort of projection or inflatable. The mind control? Sonics and drugs. After all, why would such an enormous man flee from a handful of nudists, even if they are invulnerable?

    UPDATE 1940

    UPDATE 1941 Part 1 

    UPDATE 1941 Part 2 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 534: THE BRAIN

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 534: THE BRAIN

    (Fantastic Comics 001, 1939)

    We open on Space Smith and his girlfriend Dianna (sometimes Diana) having a trans-Lunar space-date ruined by Martian Imp Men and I am immediately struck with the dilemma engendered by nearly all Fletcher Hanks stories: follow through on my impulses and post most if not all panels or be judicious for the sake of space and readability? I went with the latter but it hurt.

    So in lieu of my posting every panel that features the great/horrible Martian Imp Men let’s just pause and appreciate how great they are.

    Space Smith and Dianna awaken in the laboratory of the great Martian scientist Skomah and learn that they have been kidnapped by Skomah’s 7th son, also called Skomah, aka the Brain, aka the Central Brain aka the Great Martian Central Brain.

    Really appreciate the detail that the Brain’s head is so big that it has to be held up with two special robot arms.

    Like a lot of big head smart guys, the Brain is convinced that it is his destiny to rule all of creation and is planning to start with Earth. He’s also a huge creep in the same was as a lot of those guys and a lot of super-villains in general, in the “capture a woman and declare that she will be your queen” way.

    Luckily for Dianna, a guy with a head so big he is literally bolted to the ground is not the hardest guy to get away from, even if he has a bunch of D&D 5e kobolds working for him. She and Space Smith get away incredibly easily, in fact, and spend the next few issues trying to get back to Mars to put a permanent end to Skomah the 7th (they never do actually get there. Perhaps they just lost interest when it became clear that the Brain was all talk. Or Fletcher Hanks just forgot).

    BONUS MAN-EATING MARTIAN MOSQUITO

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 498: THE ROCKINGHAM BANDIT

    (Big Shot Comics 016, 1941)

    The Rockingham Bandit is a masked fellow who commits robberies and murders in the town of Rockingham (natch) who turns out to be a balloonist from a nearby circus who is framing another guy from the same circus in an attempt to steal his girl. Two items:

    1) The frame works like this: the Rockingham Bandit does a crime and then leaves behind an item identifiable as belonging to the target. The Rockingham PD are apparently even dumber than your typical comic book cops and don’t question the fact that this guy is doing crimes while seemingly shedding a constant stream of monogrammed items (he does have a weirdly large number of such items, though).

    2) This is a Charlie Chan story and like all Charlies Chan comics (all Charlie Chan everything?) is pretty good! If you completely tune out everything that Charlie Chan says.