The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: alien

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 014

    We’ve hit a rich seam of aliums this month.

    Mermaid/ Reptile-Men:

    This city of Reptile-Men is ruled over by a Mermaid queen, and I am forced to contemplate, and not for the first time, whether this is an instance of a member or group of one species ruling over another or if it’s one of extreme sexual dimorphism. Whichever one it is, I do appreciate that the Reptile-Men have that really goofy wide stance going on with their lizard legs. (Weird Comics 003, 1940)

    Monkey Men: 

    Also known as the Cannibalistic Monkey Men, these beefy lads vex one of those hidden Ancient Roman colonies that are all over Africa and the Middle East by demanding tribute of human flesh. They eventually meet their match and are seemingly wiped out entirely when they try to eat Kaänga and his new pal “Red” Longjohn. (Jungle Comics 007, 1940)

    Capris-Men:

    Earth is in need of radium, the only cure to a deadly plague that is ravaging the population, and so an expedition headed by Rex Dexter of Mars sets out to get some from the nearly 100% pitchblende planet Capris (okay, so it’s called a planet throughout the story but it’s got to be a dwarf planet or an asteroid or something based on travel timelines alone). The fantastic-looking native Capris-Men, aka the Capris Monsters, don’t take to kindly to this and mount an attack on the expedition, which leads the expedition to leave early, meaning that they don’t get enough radium to treat everyone.

    The obvious solution to this problem is, of course, to tow the entire planet(oid) into orbit around Earth, so that the healing power of ionizing radiation can eternally shine down on its inhabitants and make them the healthiest people in the universe. No word on what the Capris-Men thought about this development. (Mystery-Men Comics 002, 1939)

    the Cave Men and the Lizard Men:

    The Cave Men are basically just some extra hairy guys who live in a cave system called the Underground Empire beneath Rhodesia/modern day Zimbabwe. They are possibly immortal and are ruled by a white lady named Aldia, who is – the question is whether she bothered to share the secret of the Immortal Flame with her subjects.

    The thing that really sets the Cave Men apart is the quality of their enemies, the Lizard Men. Sure, they’re just a mindless horde of inhuman monsters who exist only to be righteously slaughtered by the heroic Lance Hale, but just look at their majestic fins! (Silver Streak Comics 004, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 013

    You wouldn’t believe how many of these I have.

    Unnamed Planetoid-Dwellers: 

    Blast Bennett and his pal Red run into these guys on a planetoid somewhere between Venus and Mercury and exclusively refer to them as “savages” even though they fly around in their own spaceship. Get off their planetoid, weirdos. (Weird Comics 003, 1940)

    the Brainmen:

    The Brainmen of the planet Larz are a bunch of large-headed jerks who have conquered… Earth? some time around the Year 5000, when Whiz Wilson shows up using his Futuroscope. My uncertainty above is due to the fact that the focus of the issue is very much on the fact that Americans have been enslaved, which is probably not meant to be a deeply ironic commentary on the long history of forced labour in the Land of the Free but they can’t stop me from thinking it.

    Whiz manages to acquire and distribute the “N-Gas” antidote to the pacification gas used to render the Americans compliant, but even a peasants’ revolt is not enough to overthrow the might of the Brainmen, and he is forced to bring Brainman King Gar back to 1940 to use the threat of being beaten to death by a crowd of angry New Yorkers to ultimately win the day. (Sure-Fire Comics 003, 1940) 

    Brutes:

    Lumpy, oafish humanoid encountered by Jan and Wanda when they are blasted into another dimension by Dr Doom. Has no buttcrack. (Science Comics 008, 1940)

    Bugmen:

    The Bugmen are a belligerent species of insect-centaurs who occupy the Jovian jungles and regularly vex Auro, Lord of Jupiter until he bests their leaders, Ogre and Agh. I enjoy their huge tusks and also wonder just how much they get in the way. (Planet Comics 006, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 012

    You won’t believe these guys. 

    the Mermen: 

    Some undersea jerks who capture explorer Typhon and his crew. Their leader is a real creep named Neptune who has a nigh-fetishistic plan to freeze the crew – and particularly sole female crewmember Cecelia – into blocks of ice and then breathe fire on them. Luckily for all who might venture beneath the waves, he drowns (?) during Typhon’s escape. (Weird Comics 002, 1940)

    the Beaked Men:

    The Beaked Men of Mercury’s mountains operate as an extortion racket on the solar trade routes, raiding and capturing ships from their mobile “space island” ships. Such a threat to the interplanetary commerce of the year 25 000 will not stand, and Spurt Hammond, Planet Flyer successfully manages to explode the whole operation thanks to a handy prisoner revolt. (Planet Comics 004, 1940)

    the Big-Eared Tribe of Saturn: 

    I’m not sure if the implication is that all of the people of Saturn are big-eared or if it’s just a subgroup, but the fact that they seem to be generally feared and that the leader (and father) of this particular bunch of Big-Eared men, Varg Emmos, is a respected scientist who is presumably using his futuristic heardpiece to disguise his own big-eared status points toward the former. 

    Varg and his boys have a plot to take over Earth using an ultrasonic ray that affects only humans but are foiled when Rex Dexter in turn discovers a musical note that kills them and that is seemingly featured heavily in symphonic music. Sucks to be a Big-Eared music lover I guess. (Mystery Men Comics 020, 1941)

    the Coal People:

    The Coal People (also referred to as the Blackmen) reside in an underground kingdom below Colorado and are descended from ancient people who got themselves trapped there and were forced to subsist of coal to survive. Rather than dying of starvation and/or stomach cancer, they instead became humanoid creatures composed of living coal. The problem comes when mining activities bring the Coal People into contact with contemporary surface humans – fairly harmless when they decide to worship the above old man as a kind of captive god, but increasingly menacing after the discovery of a miner’s corpse reveals to them that there are more interesting things to eat than coal.

    Luckily for the surface world (or for Coloradans, at least) the next person to enter the mines and get captured is the super-strong giant Mighty Man, who discovers the in-retrospect-fairly-obvious secret of the Coal People: that they fear fire. He and the erstwhile god escape and seal the mine behind them. Colorado is saved! (Amazing-Man Comics 011, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 012

    You won’t believe these guys. 

    the Mermen: 

    Some undersea jerks who capture explorer Typhon and his crew. Their leader is a real creep named Neptune who has a nigh-fetishistic plan to freeze the crew – and particularly sole female crewmember Cecelia – into blocks of ice and then breathe fire on them. Luckily for all who might venture beneath the waves, he drowns (?) during Typhon’s escape. (Weird Comics 002, 1940)

    the Beaked Men:

    The Beaked Men of Mercury’s mountains operate as an extortion racket on the solar trade routes, raiding and capturing ships from their mobile “space island” ships. Such a threat to the interplanetary commerce of the year 25 000 will not stand, and Spurt Hammond, Planet Flyer successfully manages to explode the whole operation thanks to a handy prisoner revolt. (Planet Comics 004, 1940)

    the Big-Eared Tribe of Saturn: 

    I’m not sure if the implication is that all of the people of Saturn are big-eared or if it’s just a subgroup, but the fact that they seem to be generally feared and that the leader (and father) of this particular bunch of Big-Eared men, Varg Emmos, is a respected scientist who is presumably using his futuristic heardpiece to disguise his own big-eared status points toward the former. 

    Varg and his boys have a plot to take over Earth using an ultrasonic ray that affects only humans but are foiled when Rex Dexter in turn discovers a musical note that kills them and that is seemingly featured heavily in symphonic music. Sucks to be a Big-Eared music lover I guess. (Mystery Men Comics 020, 1941)

    the Coal People:

    The Coal People (also referred to as the Blackmen) reside in an underground kingdom below Colorado and are descended from ancient people who got themselves trapped there and were forced to subsist of coal to survive. Rather than dying of starvation and/or stomach cancer, they instead became humanoid creatures composed of living coal. The problem comes when mining activities bring the Coal People into contact with contemporary surface humans – fairly harmless when they decide to worship the above old man as a kind of captive god, but increasingly menacing after the discovery of a miner’s corpse reveals to them that there are more interesting things to eat than coal.

    Luckily for the surface world (or for Coloradans, at least) the next person to enter the mines and get captured is the super-strong giant Mighty Man, who discovers the in-retrospect-fairly-obvious secret of the Coal People: that they fear fire. He and the erstwhile god escape and seal the mine behind them. Colorado is saved! (Amazing-Man Comics 011, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 011

    ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 011

    What ho! Aliens!

    Martians: 

    These Martians attack Earth for reasons that will remain unclear forever, because the story they appear in never actually gets an ending. In fact, they never even show their faces, instead attacking from their very cool-looking ships and sending their very cool-looking robots to act as ground troops. The initial invasion is driven off by superhuman scientist Greg Gilday and his associate Joan and then the Martians just never bother to return for another shot. (War Comics 002, 1940)

    Barrangees: 

    After their initial encounter with the giant insect life of Planet Barrang, Captain Tornado and his companions end up falling in with the Barrangees, a humanoid species who were forced underground when the insects began to increase in size and intelligence, and despite the common cause that they had made with the purple ant faction, the trio are far more comfortable around an non-insectoid race.

    (wildly, this extends to not even questioning the Barrangee caste system in which servants are surgically rendered mute as a symbol of their subservience and children are raised in total darkness to give them enhanced night vision)

    The Earth-people quickly resolve to help the Barrangees return to surface life using their knowledge of firearms and insecticides. Their main obstacle to this, other than the insects themselves, is the Barrangee High Priest, leader of a religion that worships the Sacred Centipede and by extension all of Barrang’s insect life. Captain Tornado eventually resolves this by shooting both the High Priest and the Sacred Centipede dead. (Popular Comics 048, 1940) 

    the Batmen:

    The Rocket and the Queen of Diamonds seem to run into another hostile humanoid species every time they leave the walls of the hidden Diamond Empire, and the Batmen are yet another of these, which they end up in the clutches of after crashing the Rocket’s ship into an underground cavern. The king of the Batmen is of course a creep who lusts after the Queen and attempts to dispose of the Rocket via gladiatorial combat vs a giant turtle, but once the Rocket learns that the Batmen are mortally afraid of fire it’s all over. Quite literally, because he accidentally burns down their city. (Pep Comics 003, 1940)

    the Batmen of Kordano: 

    It’s been a while since I read “Air-Sub DX” and the world-building was never its main focus, so forgive me if I’m wrong, but as I recall it was set in an undefined future on a planet that I have written down as “Tago-Lor” but could have just as easily been a far-future Earth. The crew of the titular Air-Sub contend with the machinations of various bald guys, including Klawger here, who has assumed the identity of the administrator of some sort of mining colony. 

    All this is to say that I have no idea what the deal is with the Batmen of Kordano, aka the Living Dead Men, aside from the facts that a. they look cool, b. they have two great names, and c. they ride around in squat cylindrical vehicles called “mobile pillboxes,” which is fun. Aside from that, no idea. Why so aggro? Where or who or what is Kordano? No idea. (Amazing Mystery Funnies v2 005, 1939)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 010

    Oh those rascally aliens.

    the Grey Hordes from the Center of the Earth: 

    The Grey Hordes from the Center of the Earth, aka the Grey Men, have been bombing London for unclear reasons using hard-to-see transparent planes. War correspondent Danny Dash and his associate Shamrock “Mac” McGlynn (!) stumble upon a group of them in the English countryside after their car is wrecked by a mysterious bomb-throwing glowing limousine, but since the “Danny Dash” feature never concluded we never really learn the answers to the reasons behind any of this, including why they are making war on the British or why they have corkscrews on top of their hats. (War Comics 001, 1940)

    the Jovian Mountain People:

    The Jovian Mountain People live a simple life that revolves around the harvesting and processing of native jurta berries into a potent drug. They call in the heroic Space Patrol after a rash of murder and robberies (sixty!) point to an organized jurta drug ring in the area.

    Basil Wolverton’s knack for alien design was remarkable not just for its inventiveness but for the fact that he could make such sympathetic alien characters who weren’t just humans with blue skin, and the Jovian Mountain Folk might just be the greatest example of this, with their little round bodies and concerned expressions. The above image of the jurta harvester carefully processing his crop is one of my favourite in all of comics, and it’s a shame that the poor guy is about to be tossed off of a mountain by one of…

    the Balloon Men: 

    The Balloon Men showcase another of Wolverton’s strengths: creating aliens that are simultaneously goofy yet believably threatening. A big orb-shaped dude with little fluttering wings is undeniably a silly-looking fellow, but just scroll back up to that image of the attack on the jurta-man and picture one of these guys silently descending on you with murderous intent. Eerie. Plus I really appreciate the clear distinction between the inflated and deflated states of the Balloon Men, 

    The Balloon Men are not, however, the ultimate architects of the jurta thefts. No, it turns out that they are working for…

    the Haggur: 

    The Haggur are identified as a “cruel and crafty tribe of South Jupiter” and if this is an accurate description then this otherwise-unnamed Haggur is an exemplar of his kind. He and his imported Balloon Men intend on plundering the entire season’s jurta drug harvest no matter how many Mountain People they have to kill to do so. It’s only being totally exploded by the Space Patrol that stops this dastardly plan. 

    Design-wise, the Haggur is a pretty standard big alien bruiser, though I do really like the huge bands of muscle attached to the jaw and of course welcome the single central Basil Wolverton nostril whenever it makes an appearance.

    The comic ends with a little gag about how unattractive the Jovian Mountain Ladies are, in case you were worrying that it had no flaws. I personally think that they’re cute. (Amazing Mystery Funnies v3 005, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 010

    ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 010

    Oh those rascally aliens.

    the Grey Hordes from the Center of the Earth: 

    The Grey Hordes from the Center of the Earth, aka the Grey Men, have been bombing London for unclear reasons using hard-to-see transparent planes. War correspondent Danny Dash and his associate Shamrock “Mac” McGlynn (!) stumble upon a group of them in the English countryside after their car is wrecked by a mysterious bomb-throwing glowing limousine, but since the “Danny Dash” feature never concluded we never really learn the answers to the reasons behind any of this, including why they are making war on the British or why they have corkscrews on top of their hats. (War Comics 001, 1940)

    the Jovian Mountain People:

    The Jovian Mountain People live a simple life that revolves around the harvesting and processing of native jurta berries into a potent drug. They call in the heroic Space Patrol after a rash of murder and robberies (sixty!) point to an organized jurta drug ring in the area.

    Basil Wolverton’s knack for alien design was remarkable not just for its inventiveness but for the fact that he could make such sympathetic alien characters who weren’t just humans with blue skin, and the Jovian Mountain Folk might just be the greatest example of this, with their little round bodies and concerned expressions. The above image of the jurta harvester carefully processing his crop is one of my favourite in all of comics, and it’s a shame that the poor guy is about to be tossed off of a mountain by one of…

    the Balloon Men: 

    The Balloon Men showcase another of Wolverton’s strengths: creating aliens that are simultaneously goofy yet believably threatening. A big orb-shaped dude with little fluttering wings is undeniably a silly-looking fellow, but just scroll back up to that image of the attack on the jurta-man and picture one of these guys silently descending on you with murderous intent. Eerie. Plus I really appreciate the clear distinction between the inflated and deflated states of the Balloon Men, 

    The Balloon Men are not, however, the ultimate architects of the jurta thefts. No, it turns out that they are working for…

    the Haggur: 

    The Haggur are identified as a “cruel and crafty tribe of South Jupiter” and if this is an accurate description then this otherwise-unnamed Haggur is an exemplar of his kind. He and his imported Balloon Men intend on plundering the entire season’s jurta drug harvest no matter how many Mountain People they have to kill to do so. It’s only being totally exploded by the Space Patrol that stops this dastardly plan. 

    Design-wise, the Haggur is a pretty standard big alien bruiser, though I do really like the huge bands of muscle attached to the jaw and of course welcome the single central Basil Wolverton nostril whenever it makes an appearance.

    The comic ends with a little gag about how unattractive the Jovian Mountain Ladies are, in case you were worrying that it had no flaws. I personally think that they’re cute. (Amazing Mystery Funnies v3 005, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 835: KING QUANTUS

    (Top-Notch Comics 007, 1940)

    Streak Chandler’s adventures on Mars conclude with a space battle with Kalox, deposed king of the Gas Men, as he attempts to destroy the planet in retribution for losing his throne. Streak and his pals prevent this, but at the moment of their triumph they find themselves in the clutches of yet another villain, the pirate King Quantus, and spirited away to his secret headquarters on the Jovian moon Io.

    In addition to being a space pirate, King Quantus is big on slavery: he not only maintains a creepo harem of captured women but has a laboratory full of enslaved scientists. All this does nothing to save him from a good old American ass-kicking once Steak Chandler manages to sneak up on him, however.

    Quantus rallies his forces in an attempt to destroy Chandler and recapture his companions, but while he is doing so, Chandler’s erstwhile ally Lura leads a revolution of Quantus’ many slaves and captives.

    Lura, having been recently romantically rejected by Streak, turns on her former companions and announces herself as the new space pirate queen of Io. Between her and the still-at-large King Quantus, Streak’s space adventures appear to be just beginning but alas, we never get to see any of them as this is the final installment of his strip. 

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 007

    Streak Chandler, a football player at State University, is kidnapped by gangsters in order to prevent him from playing in a key game. This almost never works but these particular gangsters might just be the fist comic book characters to successfully fix a sporting event this way, because rather than stash Streak in an easily-escaped-from cabin close enough to the stadium to show up for the final crucial minutes of the game, they make rocket scientist Professor Finlay and his daughter Vola take Streak to Mars with them in an unfinished rocket ship. Of course they have many adventures with various aliens while there, and here they are:

    the Ferrugas:

    The Ferrugas are the first Martian inhabitants that Chandler and his companions encounter, and while they don’t get a lot of page time, they sure do make an impression: hostile, big-headed red guys in wrestling singlets who can shoot heat rays out of their index fingers will do that. 

    The Ferrugas prove to be vulnerable to oxygen blasts thanks to the fact that they evolved in Mars’ thin atmosphere. When last seen, they were being driven off by fellow martians the Lokis. (Top-Notch Comics 004, 1940) 

    Lokis: 

    The Lokis are a race of blue, birdlike humanoids who fly and are also amphibious – a rare combo! They are also slavers who capture Streak and his companions on sight and are all set to press them into service when they are interrupted by…

    THE DREADED BRONTAURIS! Let me tell you: I have been struggling with my own impulse to start a series of Monster and Beast Round-Ups to go with all of the others and it’s only the fact that it would be an even more endless and Sisyphean task than I have already set myself that is stopping me… the Brontauris here is the kind of amazing alien beast that is really bad for my resolve. It’s so beautiful and weird. 

    Streak kind of accidentally tames the Brontauris and turns it into a faithful mount, which so impresses the Lokis that they adopt the trio instead of enslaving them – very good for the Earthlings involved, sure, but we’re left with a real lack of information about the general state of slavery in Lokidom. Is Streak Chandler problematic? (Top-Notch Comics 004, 1940)

    the Gas Men: 

    Volcano-dwelling blue humanoids who are able to transform into semi-solid gas beings at well. The Gas Men are the deadly enemies of the Lokis and constantly hinder their efforts to terraform Mars via canal-building. That is, until Streak Chandler and his brontauris allies depose the tyrant King Kalox and reinstall his imprisoned rival Rega. (Top-Notch Comics 005, 1940) 

    Jovians:

    An unnamed Jovian scientist who is working for Rega, the rightful Gas Man king, falls afoul of his deposed rival Kalox. Note the change in artists that has rendered the Gas Men into regular white guys. Lura, the daughter of the scientist, makes a surprise heel turn in an unresolved cliffhanger of Top-Notch Comics 008, but other than that these Jovians are just green humans. (Top-Notch Comics 006, 1940)

    Venusians: 

    Only one representative of this brand of Venusian actually shows up on panel: King Quantus, a space pirate and a real creep. Let’s give the species as a whole the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is an outlier and does not represent them. Some real Star Trek alien makeup-level design work here, which is fun to me. (Top-Notch Comics 007, 1940) 

    Ionians: 

    King Quantus has his HQ on the Jovian moon Io, and the bulk of his forces are drawn from the Ionian population, who are basically big blue ogres. Hopefully their society will be able to shake off the nefarious influence of the space pirate/ sex pest after his defeat and they can all get together and try not to be such doofuses. (Top-Notch Comics 007, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 007

    Streak Chandler, a football player at State University, is kidnapped by gangsters in order to prevent him from playing in a key game. This almost never works but these particular gangsters might just be the fist comic book characters to successfully fix a sporting event this way, because rather than stash Streak in an easily-escaped-from cabin close enough to the stadium to show up for the final crucial minutes of the game, they make rocket scientist Professor Finlay and his daughter Vola take Streak to Mars with them in an unfinished rocket ship. Of course they have many adventures with various aliens while there, and here they are:

    the Ferrugas:

    The Ferrugas are the first Martian inhabitants that Chandler and his companions encounter, and while they don’t get a lot of page time, they sure do make an impression: hostile, big-headed red guys in wrestling singlets who can shoot heat rays out of their index fingers will do that. 

    The Ferrugas prove to be vulnerable to oxygen blasts thanks to the fact that they evolved in Mars’ thin atmosphere. When last seen, they were being driven off by fellow martians the Lokis. (Top-Notch Comics 004, 1940) 

    Lokis: 

    The Lokis are a race of blue, birdlike humanoids who fly and are also amphibious – a rare combo! They are also slavers who capture Streak and his companions on sight and are all set to press them into service when they are interrupted by…

    THE DREADED BRONTAURIS! Let me tell you: I have been struggling with my own impulse to start a series of Monster and Beast Round-Ups to go with all of the others and it’s only the fact that it would be an even more endless and Sisyphean task than I have already set myself that is stopping me… the Brontauris here is the kind of amazing alien beast that is really bad for my resolve. It’s so beautiful and weird. 

    Streak kind of accidentally tames the Brontauris and turns it into a faithful mount, which so impresses the Lokis that they adopt the trio instead of enslaving them – very good for the Earthlings involved, sure, but we’re left with a real lack of information about the general state of slavery in Lokidom. Is Streak Chandler problematic? (Top-Notch Comics 004, 1940)

    the Gas Men: 

    Volcano-dwelling blue humanoids who are able to transform into semi-solid gas beings at well. The Gas Men are the deadly enemies of the Lokis and constantly hinder their efforts to terraform Mars via canal-building. That is, until Streak Chandler and his brontauris allies depose the tyrant King Kalox and reinstall his imprisoned rival Rega. (Top-Notch Comics 005, 1940) 

    Jovians:

    An unnamed Jovian scientist who is working for Rega, the rightful Gas Man king, falls afoul of his deposed rival Kalox. Note the change in artists that has rendered the Gas Men into regular white guys. Lura, the daughter of the scientist, makes a surprise heel turn in an unresolved cliffhanger of Top-Notch Comics 008, but other than that these Jovians are just green humans. (Top-Notch Comics 006, 1940)

    Venusians: 

    Only one representative of this brand of Venusian actually shows up on panel: King Quantus, a space pirate and a real creep. Let’s give the species as a whole the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is an outlier and does not represent them. Some real Star Trek alien makeup-level design work here, which is fun to me. (Top-Notch Comics 007, 1940) 

    Ionians: 

    King Quantus has his HQ on the Jovian moon Io, and the bulk of his forces are drawn from the Ionian population, who are basically big blue ogres. Hopefully their society will be able to shake off the nefarious influence of the space pirate/ sex pest after his defeat and they can all get together and try not to be such doofuses. (Top-Notch Comics 007, 1940)