The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

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  • MINOR SUPER-HERO ROUND-UP 092

    MINOR SUPER-HERO ROUND-UP 092

    Who ever thunk that there could be quite so many minor super-heroes?

    Invisible Scarlet O’Neil:

    Young Scarlet O’Neil, being the kind of person who will touch an arc of mysterious energy in her scientist father’s lab, finds herself rendered invisible, a condition that she eventually learns is reversed by touching a certain nerve in her wrist.* She uses this power to fight mid-tier injustice eventually (I am assured) parleys it into a career as a newspaper reporter. Before that, she functions as a very low-level vigilante – she solves some crimes, yes, but also gets mixed up in a lot of people’s personal lives. She is also one of the few invisible characters to regularly suffer any consequences for going out in public without reflecting any light: she is regularly beaned by baseballs, pushed into traffic, etc.

    Sticklers might note that “Invisible Scarlet O’Neil” was a comic strip first and that what I am showing here are images from the comic book reprints of such, and I must confess that I do not have the wherewithal to source comic strip dates every time I want to refer to this character. All references to her will be from the Eastern Color comics. (Famous Funnies 081, 1941)

    *As presented, the timeline is extremely sad: 1) her father accidentally causes her to become invisible by not taking her poor lab safety practices into account 2) he works to find a cure but cannot 3) he dies, presumably in despair over his child’s life of invisible obscurity 4) she figures out the nerve thing

    Categorized in: Body (Invisible), Origin (Mysterious Ray Mutate), Power (Invisibility)

    Fearless Flint, the Famous Flint Man:

    Jack Bradley, a worker on the carving of Mount Rushmore (and let me tell you: every time I think that I’m done being surprised by the real-world events that super-hero origins are being roped into I am dead wrong) is flung down the face of the mountain when his pneumatic drill is sabotaged. Instead of being killed horribly as one might expect, Jack survives because the flint shards that litter the Rushmore debris field merge with his skin rather than shredding it. Now, upon touching any metal, he turns to red hot flint complete with little sparks flying off of him, and becomes super strong and invulnerable. A few things:

    – Flint’s elemental transformation is very on brand for the small stable of Eastern Color super-heroes, cv Hydroman, the upcoming Man o’Metal, etc.

    – Despite the fact that he requires the touch of metal to transform, Flint notably fails to consider carrying any around with him in any of the half dozen of his adventures I have flipped through. He always needs one of his enemies to bop him with a metal weapon or push him into a railing or drop a chandelier on his head, and in later adventures simply turns to flint when he gets angry.

    – Flint’s drill was sabotaged by agents of the Lava Man, his first enemy, whose appearances are serialized across half a dozen issues in 1942 and who we will be covering once that year rolls around. I will give you a spoiler, however: he has absolutely no reason to have sabotaged the construction of Mount Rushmore, so either this was a classic example of the Reel (agents of a super-villain go far afield for no reason other than to draw the hero to a second location and move the plot forward) or the Lava Man is very sympathetic to the plight of the Sioux people.

    – Finally, I looked very hard and while I can’t say this with 100% certainty I can do so at 95%: the Black Hills in general and Mount Rushmore in particular do not seem to be particularly rich in flint. But maybe that’s the secret to Flint’s transformation, that they were magic flint shards that shouldn’t ought to have been there.

    All in all a true oddball of a character as befits a member of the Eastern Color stable. (Famous Funnies 089, 1941)

    Categorized in: Element (Minerals (Flint)), Origin (Material Mutate), Power (Phyiscal Transformation, Super Strength)

    the Sixth Column:

    Nineteen Forty-One: Stardust the Super Wizard, concerned about a mass mobilization of Axis fifth columnists into the Americas, vows to form a sixth column to counter their efforts. As his agents, he chooses the boys of the United States (more on this). Also please note that in between declaring that he would found the Sixth Column and actually getting around to doing so, Stardust roots out and murders every Fifth Columnist in America as part of his defense of Earth against the Martian Sky Demons.

    With no counter-espionage work to do, the Sixth Column is instead given a portion of Stardust’s power (flight, fusing rays to mess up the enemy’s war machines, repelling rays to levitate the enemy troops) and set loose as a super powered child army versus an Axis invasion force that is approaching from South America. (Fantastic Comics 014, 1941)

    The Sixth Column returns in Fantastic Comics 015, and this time they get official Stardust the Super Wizard outfits. In addition to the star-metal costumes (possibly invulnerable), the boys are equipped with mind-reading devices to root out fifth columnists and metal-repelling rays to protect the US from enemy missiles. Curiously, this time they are not given the power of flight.

    The thing that I find myself thinking while reading the two stories featuring the Sixth Column is “why is Stardust doing this?” It’s not for any lack of ability to keep on top of things, that’s for sure, as the boys do not do anything that Stardust hasn’t already done on a bigger scale, and in any case he is monitoring them the entire time as seen here when they lose control of a missile and destroy an ocean liner and he jumps in to take over immediately.

    Is it meant to be some sort of mentoring? Of ensuring that there will be a new stardust? Is he just bored? He’s probably just bored with crime fighting while being so grotesquely overpowered, isn’t he.

    Categorized in: Alphanumeric (Six), Origin (Sidekicks), Powers (Various) 

    Stardust the Super Wizard **UPDATE**:

    And speaking of Stardust the Super Wizard: we’ve seen him shapeshift before and we’ve seen him impossibly grab a man by the torso before but in this, his very last appearance, he combines the two by grabbing the villain “Slant-Eye” with a gross tentacle hand. It truly is an iconic image for the guy to go out on. (Fantastic Comics 016, 1941)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 043

    We’ve met a few of them in the past, but here’s another dose of the inhabitants of the Fourth Dimension, as explored by Flip Falcon.

    Zezo:

    Zezo works for the Fourth Dimensional villain Lucifer as a guardian. We don’t learn too much about this fellow – is he a one-off or representative of a whole species, for example – but I like his moxie and his big teeth. (Fantastic Comics 015, 1941)

    Koggo:

    Koggo is an even more mysterious fellow than Zezo, given that he is more obviously the product of a civilization of some sort: he has clothing and weapons and hypodermics full of Agony Serum, and also a conceptual framework that allows him to believe that human pilots are somehow trying to invade the Fourth Dimension. This leads him to kill and kidnap several of them until he is stopped when he is exploded by Flip Falcon. (Fantastic Comics 018, 1941)

    Fourth Dimensional Dragons: 

    Fourth Dimensional dragons have a body plan that is a variation of the modern fantasy concept of the wyvern, with wings and front limbs appended to a long serpentine body. It’s unclear just how intelligent they are: Robbo here acts like an animal, but he also has a name. (Fantastic Comics 015, 1941)

    Serpo (Poison Dragon of the Elements) also has a name, but given his seeming status as more of a natural disaster than an inhabitant of the Fourth Dimension, that might just be equivalent to when we name hurricanes. Intriguingly, Serpo is able to cross the dimensional boundaries under his own power.

    Serpo comes to the attention of Flip Falcon after he abducts a woman from Earth and learns too late that he is susceptible to being exploded. (Fantastic Comics 016, 1941)

    Demi-Things:

    Any time you talk about Flip Falcon and the Fourth Dimension, you’re going to get Demi-Things coming up. The first time this occurs is when Gogo, Master of the Demi-Things attempts to abduct the same woman who had already been snatched by Serpo. And just like Serpo, Gogo is unprepared for the explosive power of Flip’s dimensional energy. (Fantastic Comics 016, 1941) 

    The death of Gogo opens the way for Kandor to become Lord of the Demi-Things, and while we have no indication of whether he is a more benevolent ruler than his predecessor, he certainly is aware of the fact that he rules at Flip Falcon’s whim. Or perhaps they really are friends, who knows. (Fantastic Comics 018, 1941)

    Finally, we have Zorka, the Giant Demi-Thing. Zorka guards a region of the Fourth Dimension containing the element “acco-nito.” Why? This is not explained – perhaps it’s just a classic case of treasure-hoarding. In any case, Flip needs so acco-nito to save a woman’s life, so Zorka gets exploded.(Fantastic Comics 019, 1941)

    Octopus Men:

    Strictly speaking, the Octopus Men are not Fourth Dimensional beings, instead, they are the inhabitants of the wandering planet Octo, which up and wanders straight through the dimensional barrier one day and allows the Octopus Men to start beating ten kinds of hell out of the Demi-Things.

    Despite this, the Octopus Men prove just as vulnerable to being exploded as all of Flip’s other enemies, which he discovers after intervening to prevent the conquered Demi-Things from being impressed into a life of space piracy by the Octopus Men’s boss, a human man named Otho. Just how he came to be on an extrasolar planet in the first place, let alone in charge of the place, is left unexplored, but since Flip drags him back to Earth to stand trial we must assume that that’s where he started out. I have no idea what Flip thinks that the charges might be, by the way. (Fantastic Comics 017, 1941)

    Unnamed Species: 

    This unnamed fellow is remarkable mostly for being the antagonist of Flip Falcon’s final adventure. He seems to live on a planetoid by himself, has captured space explorer Irwin Burns and demands help in his plan to go to Earth and kidnap a woman (he needs a “queen” and can’t be bothered to date).

    As befits the final Flip Falcon villain, this fellow gets exploded. It’s a real shame that this is our last look at the Fourth Dimension as the cosmology was getting very weird: it’s another dimension but also Hell and/or Purgatory and it connects to all space and time and as a result of this you can just kind of pass from our dimension to it by travelling far enough out into space? I mean, talk about a rich setting for cosmic horror. (Fantastic Comics 021, 1941) 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 636 UPDATE: THE SERPENT LADY

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 636 UPDATE: THE SERPENT LADY

    (Fantastic Comics 016, 1941)

    We all remember the Serpent Lady, who lived in an underwater city with a bunch of weird ghouls and used her pet sea serpent to kidnap people for her minions to eat. And we all remember how Sub Saunders showed up and killed her serpent but let her go free for some reason (the reason is because she is a sexy lady who walks around in a gold bikini top). Well, the Serpent Lady hasn’t just laid down and given up, no sir. She is back.

    So, just how does the Serpent Lady follow up her old operation that revolved around Mephisto the sea serpent, why with the hot new Diablo, a two-headed sea serpent. Surely the only problem with the old plan was that it involved an insufficient number of serpent heads!

    Unfortunately for the Serpent Lady, not only does Diablo prove even less effective against Sub Saunders than Mephisto was (Mephisto took a whole four panels to die while Diablo goes down after three), but following his death her lieutenant Luco turns on her and attempts to take over the whole undersea snake thing by killing both her and Saunders.

    Though Luca believes himself to be ready for the big leagues this is absolutely not the case, as Sub turns the tables on him and slays him with his own deathtrap with absurd ease. He then spurns the Serpent Lady’s overtures of love and toddles off for the surface. BUT he also refrains from blowing her up, so there’s still a chance for these crazy kids.

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 042

    ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 042

    I hope you like aliens, because I just can’t stop finding new ones. 

    Kobolians:

    The Kobolians are from the underwater city of Kobol in the year 10 000 CE, and while we don’t learn too much about how their society functions we can intuit a certain amount of civic pride, given that their leader is named Lobok – did he rise to power on the strength of that name? Did he adopt it? Is the city named after him? Whichever it is, Lobok commands enough loyalty that the Kobolians go along with him when he decides to acquire a human wife via extortion. And not just any human either, but the daughter of Biran, leader of the Army of New America!

    Though the Kobolians live in an underwater city, it is not flooded, indicating that they are amphibious rather than fully water-breathing. They might even be that most rare of things: the underwater species that is fully air-breathing!

    Anyway, Sub Saunders blows the place up after rescuing Ms Nirab. (Fantastic Comics 014, 1941)

    Magyans:

    Space adventurer Iron Munro (born on Jupiter in the 22nd Century and thus very physically mighty. If his name seems familiar it’s because it was swiped by Roy Thomas and used as the name of the post-Crisis Superman replacement) and his companions, after being blasted into a “new universe” (contextually, a new solar system) by a rogue asteroid, find themselves in the middle of a conflict between two groups called the Magyans and the Tefflans. 

    As explained by the Magyan leader, the roots of this conflict stem from a war between their ancestors and the underground-dwelling Tefflans on another planet, tens of thousands of years earlier, a conflict that resulted in the destruction of their mutual home continent as the remnants of both populations fled into outer space. Iron Munro takes an immediate wild swing and identifies this continent as Mu (why no Atlantis? Is Iron Munro a hipster?). 

    If the Magyans are the lost inhabitants of Mu, then what does that make the Tefflans? Why, they are weird evil goat-men, and thus the basis for all of humanity’s legends about demons and devils!

    Munro and his pals side with the humans, of course, and over the next six issues there is an escalating back-and-forth war between the Magyans and the more technologically-advanced Tefflans that culminates in a devastating final attack in which the Magyans launch their twin moons Ma-Ran and Ma-Kanee at the Tefflan planet of Teff-El. It’s a horrifying way to end a war! (Shadow Comics v1 002, 1940)

    Man-Apes:

    These Man-Apes serve megacreep Dr Wratt as muscle. They hold the particular distinction of being the least apelike ape-men that I have ever seen. (Jungle Comics 002, 1940)

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 042

    GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 042

    Celebrated by none… until now. And then only mildly.

    Slavin:

    This masked man is the leader of a gang who have been systematically robbing warehouses and then burning them down. The culprit turns out to be Slavin, the general manager of the warehousing company, and not the red herring suspect Slivers, owner of the company (who is ugly, and therefore more likely to be evil than the handsome Slavin). PI Dan Williams is too enlightened to judge others based on their appearances though, and busts the right man.  (Exciting Comics 014, 1941)

    the Black Baron:

    After wandering around Europe and North Africa and only really hitting up the Crusades long enough to kill Saladin, Sir Richard of Warwick, aka the Golden Knight, returns home to find that his younger brother Roland is missing and a very rude man called the Black Baron is squatting on his lands.

    The Black Baron seemed like he might get a numbered entry by name alone but alas, he’s a true scrub. The Golden Knight and his friends murder all of his men with what I would call embarrassing ease and the Baron passes up an opportunity to get away with his life for another shot at the gold he is convinced that Roland is hiding from him. The Golden Knight then enacts a little Crusader-style justice on him. To death. (Fantastic Comics 014, 1941)

    Unnamed Fascists:

    What do you do when you’re notorious comic book oddball Fletcher Hanks and you need to draw a selection of Axis leaders but the US comics industry isn’t yet 100% on board with just explicitly depicting Hitler as an evil villain and so you need to have a bit of plausible deniability? Masked Axis leaders, obviously! (Fantastic Comics 014, 1941)

    Kong:

    This fellow, name of Kong, has a super-sub and is looking to use it to extort some quick cash from the future state of New America. A classic plan!

    Kong’s cachet is spoiled somewhat by the fact that the heroic Sub Saunders just walks in through the front door of his underwater base and lays him out with a single punch. As a villain it is very hard to come back from something like this. (Fantastic Comics 015, 1941)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 041

    Once again I am inviting you to look at some aliens.

    Martian Sky-Demons:

    We only really ever see the space fleet belonging to these Martians, who have thrown in with the Axis forces to lend their “long-range, disintegrating super-bombs” to the invasion of North America. What they look like is left as just as much a mystery as what they are getting out this alliance with the Nazis.

    The Sky-Demons end up wasting their payload of super-bombs on a replica Earth that Stardust makes out of smoke, shadows and the bodies of a few hundred unlucky fifth columnists, upon which they abandon the plan and return to Mars. Perhaps those were all the bombs they had, or perhaps they wisely realized that they were flirting with disaster – Stardust is after all not known for his restraint in the face of aggression. (Fantastic Comics 014, 1941)

    Living Diamonds:

    The Living Diamonds are a really terrific species who live on Mystery Isle, on the same planet as the crew of Air Sub DX. I love that they’re literally just big diamonds, that they have little hat-shaped flying platforms to get around on, and that they can spit molten glass at their enemies. And I especially love this guy’s extremely weary facial expression which might just be how he looks and might be because crooks have been trying to turn his people into regular, non-living diamonds. 

    Also please note the second-last panel above, which is the earliest instance of someone calling a giant humanoid vehicle a “mech” that I have ever seen. (Amazing Mystery Funnies v2 008, 1939)

    Lunerzons:

    In the future occupied by space adventurer Spurt Hammond (variously placed anywhere from 2520 to 40 000 CE), the polar regions of the Moon are occupied by a group called the Lunerzons, who are as their name suggests Amazons who live on the Moon. The spelling being Lunerzon and not Lunarzon is, of course, maddening.

    The Lunerzons have ambitions of conquest, and to that end have begun raiding passing transport rockets. One of these rockets is piloted by Spurt Hammond, Planet Flyer, who puts up enough of a fuss in defense of his cargo that he ends up as a captive back on the Moon.

    Perhaps because they admire his tenacity, the Lunerzons treat Spurt more as a guest than a prisoner and so give him the official tour, including visits to the explosives factory where all of their men are employed in gruelling slave labour, and the pens where the Lunarzons breed the delightfully-named goblin-like Mooniacs for sport.

    Your average Golden or Silver Age comic featuring this setup would end with Spurt freeing all of the enslaved men and leading them in a revolution against their female oppressors in a not-so-subtle bit of social commentary. Instead, he drops a Mooniac that has been loaded down with explosives onto the factory roof, and while I enjoy a twist it’s a pretty rough way to treat an enslaved underclass.

    Lest you think that the “Spurt Hammond” scribes were above jokes at the expense of women, Our Hero escapes the Moon while the Lunerzon leaders are having a catfight over him. (Planet Comics 001, 1940)

    Spiderpeople:

    The Spiderpeople inhabit an unnamed moon orbiting an unnamed planet in an undisclosed star system, and only become relevant to our interests when some Earth colonists blunder their way into the planet-wide Spiderperson webs and get themselves captured. This attracts the attention of the mighty Red Comet, who is more kindly disposed to Earth people than any aliens, no matter how trespassed-upon.

    Probably the most interesting thing about the Spiderpeople is the arrangement of their limbs: rather than being kind of spider centaurs like so many of their peers, they have four spider legs emerging from their rib cage area and then a tiny little lower body with two more. While it’s not the most physically imposing design, it is neat. 

    Like I said, the Red Comet is not interested in exploring cultural relativity: the Spiderpeople attempt to sacrifice some Earthlings to their gods and so they get squarshed. Not all of them, but he certainly puts a dent in their population. That’ll show ’em for looking kind of gross. (Planet Comics 001, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 966: ARPOR, HIGH PRIEST OF EVIL

    (Fantastic Comics 015, 1941)

    I’ve mentioned this in the past but it bears repeating: some Golden Age comics read like a fever dream, in which barely connected events just kind of float by as you read. This story is one of those, but also has a sort of exquisite corpse quality in that the connections between events almost make sense but when you step back and look at the whole it is astonishing. To whit:

    – Samson and David are just hanging around in whatever US city they call home when they notice a weird truck in the street outside. When they go out to investigate the truck it turns out to be full of poison gas.

    – After disposing of the truck (the purpose of which is never revealed), the duo follow some nearby thugs to a warehouse full of counterfeiting equipment. Samson tosses the whole building into the river and then fishes out the one surviving thug.

    – The thug reforms out of gratitude and tells Samson that the mastermind behind the warehouse is Arpor, High Priest of Evil.

    – Samson and David make their way to Arpor’s stronghold in the nearby mountains, dodging various traps and ambushes along the way. Eventually, Samson pretends to be knocked out by a fall so that he can be captured. He is taken back to Arpor’s temple lair to be sacrificed to a moderately off-model Kali. As an aside, Arpor’s cultist minions appear to be called Fiends, which is fun.

    – Not even a whole cult is enough to take on Samson and Arpor is eventually rounded up (after a few more hijinks) and taken away to jail.

    So what is Arpor up to here? Is the counterfeiting setup funding the cult or meant to destabilize society in some way that ties in with the usual comic book shorthand of Kali = Thuggees = wanton murder? Is this where the poison gas comes in? We will never know!

    Shout out to this sweet cone-shaped lightning rifle that Arpor uses to blast Samson into submission. Love an energy weapon that dares to not just look like a fancy tommy gun.

    Categorized in: Abstract Concepts (Evil), Misc (Cult Leaders), Profession (Priests)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 966: ARPOR, HIGH PRIEST OF EVIL

    (Fantastic Comics 015, 1941)

    I’ve mentioned this in the past but it bears repeating: some Golden Age comics read like a fever dream, in which barely connected events just kind of float by as you read. This story is one of those, but also has a sort of exquisite corpse quality in that the connections between events almost make sense but when you step back and look at the whole it is astonishing. To whit:

    – Samson and David are just hanging around in whatever US city they call home when they notice a weird truck in the street outside. When they go out to investigate the truck it turns out to be full of poison gas.

    – After disposing of the truck (the purpose of which is never revealed), the duo follow some nearby thugs to a warehouse full of counterfeiting equipment. Samson tosses the whole building into the river and then fishes out the one surviving thug.

    – The thug reforms out of gratitude and tells Samson that the mastermind behind the warehouse is Arpor, High Priest of Evil.

    – Samson and David make their way to Arpor’s stronghold in the nearby mountains, dodging various traps and ambushes along the way. Eventually, Samson pretends to be knocked out by a fall so that he can be captured. He is taken back to Arpor’s temple lair to be sacrificed to a moderately off-model Kali. As an aside, Arpor’s cultist minions appear to be called Fiends, which is fun.

    – Not even a whole cult is enough to take on Samson and Arpor is eventually rounded up (after a few more hijinks) and taken away to jail.

    So what is Arpor up to here? Is the counterfeiting setup funding the cult or meant to destabilize society in some way that ties in with the usual comic book shorthand of Kali = Thuggees = wanton murder? Is this where the poison gas comes in? We will never know!

    Shout out to this sweet cone-shaped lightning rifle that Arpor uses to blast Samson into submission. Love an energy weapon that dares to not just look like a fancy tommy gun.

    Categorized in: Abstract Concepts (Evil), Misc (Cult Leaders), Profession (Priests)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 040

    Weird humanoids as far as the eye can see!

    Demon People: 

    The Demon People are seemingly native to the dimension that Breeze Barton travels to in his first adventure and are in conflict with Miracle City and its population of immortals. Even though their major goal is to get through the dimensional aperture and invade Earth, I would have a lot more sympathy toward them (eternal neighbours really must be the greatest test a people could have, after all) if they weren’t also huge slavers. I do really like the one big wing/fin that they have on their back, even if I can’t figure out what it could be for. (Daring Mystery Comics 003, 1940)

    Jupiterians:

    The Jupiterians, or more specifically the South Jupiterians, are a peaceful, swamp-dwelling people who want to live somewhere other than a swamp and have thus decided to enter into a colonial relationship with Earth. And it works! Against all historical precedent, the South Jupiterians are soon the proud owners of a new city called New Washington! No strings attached!

    The real threat to South Jupiterian sovereignty comes in the form of a diplomatic envoy of lop-eared North Jupiterians under the command of Princess Eelo (whose own long ears are presumably concealed under that kicky headscarf). They represent the bad kind of colonialism, in contrast to the warm fuzzy colonialism of Earth under Captain Nelson Cole, and it takes a plague scare and the complete destruction of New Washington to shift them. Back to work, South Jupiterians! (Planet Comics 009, 1940)

    Link People:

    Comics and other genre fiction are of course chock full of speculative missing links, but the key thing about the missing link concept is that it represents the bridge between ape and human. The idea that the missing link is instead some sort of humanoid reptile that just kind of ignores the existence of mammalian evolution and instead posits (I think) a chain of reptile -> reptile-man -> ape -> human is very weird!

    This being a comic book, such a wild speculation by a collection of white-haired scientists is of course 100% accurate, down to the location and architectural style of the Link Person community. Among other things, this means that the Descent of Man image is going to have to be heavily revised, and also that diver Kinks Mason is immediately sent in to bother this untouched society.

    Fearing that a mere photograph will not be believed, the scientists opt to kidnap one of the Link People, thus completing their introduction to humanity via a whirlwind of violence, death and loss (okay, they do try to sacrifice some of the scientists to their gods, but I think that they might have been justified). (Fight Comics 005, 1940)

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 040

    Weird humanoids as far as the eye can see!

    Demon People: 

    The Demon People are seemingly native to the dimension that Breeze Barton travels to in his first adventure and are in conflict with Miracle City and its population of immortals. Even though their major goal is to get through the dimensional aperture and invade Earth, I would have a lot more sympathy toward them (eternal neighbours really must be the greatest test a people could have, after all) if they weren’t also huge slavers. I do really like the one big wing/fin that they have on their back, even if I can’t figure out what it could be for. (Daring Mystery Comics 003, 1940)

    Jupiterians:

    The Jupiterians, or more specifically the South Jupiterians, are a peaceful, swamp-dwelling people who want to live somewhere other than a swamp and have thus decided to enter into a colonial relationship with Earth. And it works! Against all historical precedent, the South Jupiterians are soon the proud owners of a new city called New Washington! No strings attached!

    The real threat to South Jupiterian sovereignty comes in the form of a diplomatic envoy of lop-eared North Jupiterians under the command of Princess Eelo (whose own long ears are presumably concealed under that kicky headscarf). They represent the bad kind of colonialism, in contrast to the warm fuzzy colonialism of Earth under Captain Nelson Cole, and it takes a plague scare and the complete destruction of New Washington to shift them. Back to work, South Jupiterians! (Planet Comics 009, 1940)

    Link People:

    Comics and other genre fiction are of course chock full of speculative missing links, but the key thing about the missing link concept is that it represents the bridge between ape and human. The idea that the missing link is instead some sort of humanoid reptile that just kind of ignores the existence of mammalian evolution and instead posits (I think) a chain of reptile -> reptile-man -> ape -> human is very weird!

    This being a comic book, such a wild speculation by a collection of white-haired scientists is of course 100% accurate, down to the location and architectural style of the Link Person community. Among other things, this means that the Descent of Man image is going to have to be heavily revised, and also that diver Kinks Mason is immediately sent in to bother this untouched society.

    Fearing that a mere photograph will not be believed, the scientists opt to kidnap one of the Link People, thus completing their introduction to humanity via a whirlwind of violence, death and loss (okay, they do try to sacrifice some of the scientists to their gods, but I think that they might have been justified). (Fight Comics 005, 1940)