The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: Dell

  • ALIENS AND SO FORTH ROUND-UP 010

    Oh those rascally aliens.

    the Grey Hordes from the Center of the Earth: 

    The Grey Hordes from the Center of the Earth, aka the Grey Men, have been bombing London for unclear reasons using hard-to-see transparent planes. War correspondent Danny Dash and his associate Shamrock “Mac” McGlynn (!) stumble upon a group of them in the English countryside after their car is wrecked by a mysterious bomb-throwing glowing limousine, but since the “Danny Dash” feature never concluded we never really learn the answers to the reasons behind any of this, including why they are making war on the British or why they have corkscrews on top of their hats. (War Comics 001, 1940)

    the Jovian Mountain People:

    The Jovian Mountain People live a simple life that revolves around the harvesting and processing of native jurta berries into a potent drug. They call in the heroic Space Patrol after a rash of murder and robberies (sixty!) point to an organized jurta drug ring in the area.

    Basil Wolverton’s knack for alien design was remarkable not just for its inventiveness but for the fact that he could make such sympathetic alien characters who weren’t just humans with blue skin, and the Jovian Mountain Folk might just be the greatest example of this, with their little round bodies and concerned expressions. The above image of the jurta harvester carefully processing his crop is one of my favourite in all of comics, and it’s a shame that the poor guy is about to be tossed off of a mountain by one of…

    the Balloon Men: 

    The Balloon Men showcase another of Wolverton’s strengths: creating aliens that are simultaneously goofy yet believably threatening. A big orb-shaped dude with little fluttering wings is undeniably a silly-looking fellow, but just scroll back up to that image of the attack on the jurta-man and picture one of these guys silently descending on you with murderous intent. Eerie. Plus I really appreciate the clear distinction between the inflated and deflated states of the Balloon Men, 

    The Balloon Men are not, however, the ultimate architects of the jurta thefts. No, it turns out that they are working for…

    the Haggur: 

    The Haggur are identified as a “cruel and crafty tribe of South Jupiter” and if this is an accurate description then this otherwise-unnamed Haggur is an exemplar of his kind. He and his imported Balloon Men intend on plundering the entire season’s jurta drug harvest no matter how many Mountain People they have to kill to do so. It’s only being totally exploded by the Space Patrol that stops this dastardly plan. 

    Design-wise, the Haggur is a pretty standard big alien bruiser, though I do really like the huge bands of muscle attached to the jaw and of course welcome the single central Basil Wolverton nostril whenever it makes an appearance.

    The comic ends with a little gag about how unattractive the Jovian Mountain Ladies are, in case you were worrying that it had no flaws. I personally think that they’re cute. (Amazing Mystery Funnies v3 005, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 841: SIKANDUR, THE ROBOT MASTER

    (War Comics 001, 1940) 

    Sikandur, the Robot Master, is a villain-in-a-starring-role who sadly only appeared once. Any evil roboticist who, for example, makes his robots red-hot as a way of discouraging those who might grapple them is an evil roboticist I want to read about, and I only got the one opportunity to do so.

    Sikandur need gold in order to build more robots, though whether he needs it as a necessary component or as a handy source of cash is unspecified. To that end, he sends his boy Robot X5328B to the United States to rob Fort Knox.

    If Sikandur’s feature had continued to appear then presumably these three dingbats would have been the ones who would be foiling him going forward. As it is, they’re just three… college students? who figure out that Robot X5328B is something more than a simple traveller with jet-black eyes and kind of bumble around trying to figure out what he’s up to.

    Also please not that Sikandur has apparently “conquered half of Europe” at this point.

    Robot X5328B is an advanced robot indeed, because he (?) does some excellent and very menacing threats before being undermined by Sikandur’s caution re: the small-town police missing three local oafs. And that’s a wrap on Sikandur the Robot Master. Presumably the next few issues would have concerned our unlikely trio’s efforts to prevent the robbery of Fort Knox and then ultimately the end of Sikandur and his dreams of world conquest.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 841: SIKANDUR, THE ROBOT MASTER

    (War Comics 001, 1940) 

    Sikandur, the Robot Master, is a villain-in-a-starring-role who sadly only appeared once. Any evil roboticist who, for example, makes his robots red-hot as a way of discouraging those who might grapple them is an evil roboticist I want to read about, and I only got the one opportunity to do so.

    Sikandur need gold in order to build more robots, though whether he needs it as a necessary component or as a handy source of cash is unspecified. To that end, he sends his boy Robot X5328B to the United States to rob Fort Knox.

    If Sikandur’s feature had continued to appear then presumably these three dingbats would have been the ones who would be foiling him going forward. As it is, they’re just three… college students? who figure out that Robot X5328B is something more than a simple traveller with jet-black eyes and kind of bumble around trying to figure out what he’s up to.

    Also please not that Sikandur has apparently “conquered half of Europe” at this point.

    Robot X5328B is an advanced robot indeed, because he (?) does some excellent and very menacing threats before being undermined by Sikandur’s caution re: the small-town police missing three local oafs. And that’s a wrap on Sikandur the Robot Master. Presumably the next few issues would have concerned our unlikely trio’s efforts to prevent the robbery of Fort Knox and then ultimately the end of Sikandur and his dreams of world conquest.

  • REAL PERSON ROUND-UP 016

    REAL PERSON ROUND-UP 016

    Are you ready for some comic book versions of real life and fictional people? I sure hope so! 

    Adolf Hitler:  

    Premier Grahvin of the fictional African country of Cadiwa is a pretty broad pastiche of the Axis leaders, but the sheer speed at which he accelerates into full-blown dictator mode (before Mr Mystic turns up to reveal that he had not, in fact killed the king of Cadiwa and was not, in fact, in charge) must be highlighted. (The Spirit Section, 21 July, 1940)

    Likewise, Karoly Gore is an Axis dictator pastiche from a Mr Mystic story a few weeks earlier (but I read them out of order so it’s okay) (The Spirit Section, 9 June, 1940) 

    Axtrol here is a third in our series of Axis dictator pastiches, and he’s possibly the biggest shithead of the bunch. (The Spirit, “Dr Prince von Kalm”, 17 November, 1940)

    Nargoff, aka the Leader, is either a would-be North American dictator or the agent of a European one looking to set up a local franchise. Either way, the Spirit burns down his fake island/submarine base and then engineers a situation in which the might-makes-right philosophies espoused in Nargoff’s book “The New Order” are explored by way of Nargoff and his burly assistant Max being stranded on a small boat in the Caribbean with a limited amount of water. (The Spirit, “The Leader”, 29 December, 1940)

    Don Juan: 

    Mr Mystic and his fiance Elena encounter a whole castle full of ghosts in the woods of Spain, among whom is the spirit of the entirely fictional man Don Juan, who mistakes Elena for his missing wife Ysabel and almost kills her before himself being double-killed by Mystic. (The Spirit Section, 15 December, 1940)

    Khufu aka Cheops: 

    When Mr Mystic decides to go back in time to the creation of the Great Pyramid of Giza, he is mistaken for the god Ammon Ra and of course just immediately gets his grubby little mitts all over the progress of history. It’s kind of okay, though, because the history he’s in seems to already be a big mess – for instance, while Pharaoh Cheops is indeed the ruler supposed to have commissioned the building of the Great Pyramid c. 2600 BCE, the Babylonian invasion they’re worried about is tricky because a) Babylonia is dated from 1890 BCE b) the earliest Nebuchadnezzar I can find ascended to the throne in 1121 BCE and c) given the cultural milieu that this comic was written in they’re probably talking about Nebuchadnezzar II, the one from the Bible, who did invade Egypt a couple of times but didn’t come to power until 605 BCE. Like I said: a real mess. Plus, Amun didn’t even become associated with Ra until the 16th Century BCE!

    There’s also this guy, Prince Sargon of Babylonia, and while there’s a part of me that wants to say that he’s supposed to be Sargon II (the most famous Sargon, 722 BCE), I don’t reckon that Bob Powell, mad as he was with creative power when he wrote this story, would make someone the son of someone else born a hundred years after them. Right? (Sargon does return as a time-travelling mummy out for revenge in the next installment of Mr Mystic but this alas does nothing to clear up the puzzle of his identity) (The Spirit Section, 29 September 1940)

    Misc Arthurian Figures: 

    During one of his jaunts into the past, the Ghost finds himself in Camelot, where he meets a very small selection of Arthurian figures (all of the big name knights are away on the Crusades, we are told). These include Sir Kay, who acts like a weird creep (accurate) and gets beaten up for his efforts, King Arthur, an amiable doormat, and Merlin the Magician, who is portrayed as a fraud with no magical power who sells out Arthur as soon as he gets the chance. An interesting choice for a comic about a magic man, but perfectly in keeping with 1940s secular values. (Thrilling Comics 005, 1940) 

    Myrna Loy & William Powell: 

    A simple flip of the last names renders Myrna Loy and William Powell into Myrna Powell and William Loy on this marquee, with a bonus “Boris Scarloff” for Boris Karloff. (The Spirit Section, 10 November, 1940)

    Ty Cobb: 

    If there’s anything more tedious than a 1940s sports comic it’s a 1940s hillbilly comic, so trust me when I say that this one-off about a baseball-playing hillbilly named Obadiah “Pie” Gobb is one of the the worst things I have ever read. 

    What’s even more egregious is the fact that while Pie Gobb and his new teammate Moe de Muggio (the World’s Greatest Slugger, thanks to the fact that he eats his Fleeties every morning) are easy to identify as Ty Cobb and Joe DiMaggio, respectively, the rest of his team also have goofy names but as far as I can tell none of them are also puns on famous baseball players, meaning that I just spent all that time playing rhyming games on Wikipedia for no reason. (The Funnies 047, 1940)

  • REAL PERSON ROUND-UP 016

    REAL PERSON ROUND-UP 016

    Are you ready for some comic book versions of real life and fictional people? I sure hope so! 

    Adolf Hitler:  

    Premier Grahvin of the fictional African country of Cadiwa is a pretty broad pastiche of the Axis leaders, but the sheer speed at which he accelerates into full-blown dictator mode (before Mr Mystic turns up to reveal that he had not, in fact killed the king of Cadiwa and was not, in fact, in charge) must be highlighted. (The Spirit Section, 21 July, 1940)

    Likewise, Karoly Gore is an Axis dictator pastiche from a Mr Mystic story a few weeks earlier (but I read them out of order so it’s okay) (The Spirit Section, 9 June, 1940) 

    Axtrol here is a third in our series of Axis dictator pastiches, and he’s possibly the biggest shithead of the bunch. (The Spirit, “Dr Prince von Kalm”, 17 November, 1940)

    Nargoff, aka the Leader, is either a would-be North American dictator or the agent of a European one looking to set up a local franchise. Either way, the Spirit burns down his fake island/submarine base and then engineers a situation in which the might-makes-right philosophies espoused in Nargoff’s book “The New Order” are explored by way of Nargoff and his burly assistant Max being stranded on a small boat in the Caribbean with a limited amount of water. (The Spirit, “The Leader”, 29 December, 1940)

    Don Juan: 

    Mr Mystic and his fiance Elena encounter a whole castle full of ghosts in the woods of Spain, among whom is the spirit of the entirely fictional man Don Juan, who mistakes Elena for his missing wife Ysabel and almost kills her before himself being double-killed by Mystic. (The Spirit Section, 15 December, 1940)

    Khufu aka Cheops: 

    When Mr Mystic decides to go back in time to the creation of the Great Pyramid of Giza, he is mistaken for the god Ammon Ra and of course just immediately gets his grubby little mitts all over the progress of history. It’s kind of okay, though, because the history he’s in seems to already be a big mess – for instance, while Pharaoh Cheops is indeed the ruler supposed to have commissioned the building of the Great Pyramid c. 2600 BCE, the Babylonian invasion they’re worried about is tricky because a) Babylonia is dated from 1890 BCE b) the earliest Nebuchadnezzar I can find ascended to the throne in 1121 BCE and c) given the cultural milieu that this comic was written in they’re probably talking about Nebuchadnezzar II, the one from the Bible, who did invade Egypt a couple of times but didn’t come to power until 605 BCE. Like I said: a real mess. Plus, Amun didn’t even become associated with Ra until the 16th Century BCE!

    There’s also this guy, Prince Sargon of Babylonia, and while there’s a part of me that wants to say that he’s supposed to be Sargon II (the most famous Sargon, 722 BCE), I don’t reckon that Bob Powell, mad as he was with creative power when he wrote this story, would make someone the son of someone else born a hundred years after them. Right? (Sargon does return as a time-travelling mummy out for revenge in the next installment of Mr Mystic but this alas does nothing to clear up the puzzle of his identity) (The Spirit Section, 29 September 1940)

    Misc Arthurian Figures: 

    During one of his jaunts into the past, the Ghost finds himself in Camelot, where he meets a very small selection of Arthurian figures (all of the big name knights are away on the Crusades, we are told). These include Sir Kay, who acts like a weird creep (accurate) and gets beaten up for his efforts, King Arthur, an amiable doormat, and Merlin the Magician, who is portrayed as a fraud with no magical power who sells out Arthur as soon as he gets the chance. An interesting choice for a comic about a magic man, but perfectly in keeping with 1940s secular values. (Thrilling Comics 005, 1940) 

    Myrna Loy & William Powell: 

    A simple flip of the last names renders Myrna Loy and William Powell into Myrna Powell and William Loy on this marquee, with a bonus “Boris Scarloff” for Boris Karloff. (The Spirit Section, 10 November, 1940)

    Ty Cobb: 

    If there’s anything more tedious than a 1940s sports comic it’s a 1940s hillbilly comic, so trust me when I say that this one-off about a baseball-playing hillbilly named Obadiah “Pie” Gobb is one of the the worst things I have ever read. 

    What’s even more egregious is the fact that while Pie Gobb and his new teammate Moe de Muggio (the World’s Greatest Slugger, thanks to the fact that he eats his Fleeties every morning) are easy to identify as Ty Cobb and Joe DiMaggio, respectively, the rest of his team also have goofy names but as far as I can tell none of them are also puns on famous baseball players, meaning that I just spent all that time playing rhyming games on Wikipedia for no reason. (The Funnies 047, 1940)

  • DIVINE ROUND-UP 006

    More gods means more options. 

    Katagwah, the Rain God: 

    An unseen Native American rain god whose most fanatical adherent is attempting to perform a human sacrifice to bring rain to the Mojave Desert when Mr Mystic steps in to help the intended victim’s brother put a stop to the ceremony. I felt certain that the story would end with a rainstorm brought on by Mystic chucking the aggressor into the sacrificial canyon, but no such luck.

    God style: invoked. (The Spirit Section, 18 August, 1940) 

    the Sacred Lion:

    Real-life big game trapper Clyde Beatty heads into the African jungle to prevent evil men from stealing the Sacred Lion God from the Ugandi Tribe who worship him. Not because it’s wrong to swan into someone else’s temple and steal their god, mind you, but rather because Beatty wants the Sacred Lion for his own circus.

    God style: animist (Crackajack Funnies 018, 1939) 

    the Living Tribe God: 

    Clyde Beatty is back again, in the Amazon jungle this time, and thanks to the machinations of his rival Bart Slay he almost gets eaten by/sacrificed to the Living Tribe God, an enormous tarantula. Strangely, even after clearing things up and avoiding death, Beatty doesn’t bother stealing this god to take home.

    God style: animist (Crackajack Funnies 037, 1941)

    Naga Goona: 

    Naga Goona, God of the Silvery Moon, is worshipped by the near-human Troglodytes of Matto Grosso. On the one hand, this is just another idol that a white explorer has to be saved from being sacrificed to, but on the other hand… just look at that face! Naga Goona might just be the most charmingly goofy-looking god on record, especially after his idol is animated by Marvelo, Monarch of Magicians and starts walking around and telling people off. 

    God style: idol (Big Shot Comics 010, 1941) 

  • DIVINE ROUND-UP 006

    More gods means more options. 

    Katagwah, the Rain God: 

    An unseen Native American rain god whose most fanatical adherent is attempting to perform a human sacrifice to bring rain to the Mojave Desert when Mr Mystic steps in to help the intended victim’s brother put a stop to the ceremony. I felt certain that the story would end with a rainstorm brought on by Mystic chucking the aggressor into the sacrificial canyon, but no such luck.

    God style: invoked. (The Spirit Section, 18 August, 1940) 

    the Sacred Lion:

    Real-life big game trapper Clyde Beatty heads into the African jungle to prevent evil men from stealing the Sacred Lion God from the Ugandi Tribe who worship him. Not because it’s wrong to swan into someone else’s temple and steal their god, mind you, but rather because Beatty wants the Sacred Lion for his own circus.

    God style: animist (Crackajack Funnies 018, 1939) 

    the Living Tribe God: 

    Clyde Beatty is back again, in the Amazon jungle this time, and thanks to the machinations of his rival Bart Slay he almost gets eaten by/sacrificed to the Living Tribe God, an enormous tarantula. Strangely, even after clearing things up and avoiding death, Beatty doesn’t bother stealing this god to take home.

    God style: animist (Crackajack Funnies 037, 1941)

    Naga Goona: 

    Naga Goona, God of the Silvery Moon, is worshipped by the near-human Troglodytes of Matto Grosso. On the one hand, this is just another idol that a white explorer has to be saved from being sacrificed to, but on the other hand… just look at that face! Naga Goona might just be the most charmingly goofy-looking god on record, especially after his idol is animated by Marvelo, Monarch of Magicians and starts walking around and telling people off. 

    God style: idol (Big Shot Comics 010, 1941) 

  • DIVINE ROUND-UP 003

    More gods for you to worship.

    Goddess of the Jungle: 

    The Goddess of the Jungle is an idol stolen by an adventurer named Stero while he was roving around Africa. Returning to America with it, he attains some fame and success as a film director, which he attributes to the influence of the Goddess on his life. Is the Goddess of the Jungle really real, or can the whole affair be blamed on the fact that Stero has apparently spent the decade or so that he’s had her whacked out of his gourd on jungle potions courtesy of his servant and Kailo, an acolyte of the Goddess?

    Stero attempts to bring the idol back to where he got it and assume the role of high priest or possibly king, but ultimately he ends up as sacrifice for his sacrilege.

    God style: idol, possible real powers. (The Arrow 001, 1940)

    Dong, God of War:

    Science adventurer Stuart Taylor spent the bulk of his early career being flung back in time by the mad scientist Ali Pasha, and on this particular jaunt he ends up in ~50 BCE helping to defend the Tibetan city of Manchung from invaders, and the key to his eventual success is that the people of Manchung (including Manchung, King of Manchung, natch) have seemingly accidentally invented gunpowder for use as a part of the ritual prayers to Dong, God of War. Thanks, Dong!

    God style: idol (Jumbo Comics 009, 1939)

    Eterno: 

    The comic series “Shangra”, in brief, is about a pair of newspaper correspondents, Joan Joyce and Jack Flynn, who crash their plane in the remote Tibet-adjacent country of Shangraland and get mixed up in the affairs of Shangraland ruler Shangra and his great-great-great granddaughter Lonna. Specifically, the super-powered, 200-year-old Shangra wants Jack to take his place and Lonna wants to marry Jack and murder Joan.

    Eterno here is the fun-looking and very specialized God of Eternal Life who bestows such on the rulers of Shangraland. Like I said, very specialized. 

    God style: idol, some real power (Crash Comics Adventures 003, 1940) 

    The Fire Monster: 

    Just some cavemen fearfully trying to appease a volcano, as you do.

    God style: animist (The Funnies 004, 1937) 

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 022

    Just look at them go.

    This gang has hit upon the very effective technique of faking an appearance by the Arrow in order to steal other crooks’ takings when they intelligently run away from a potential ass-kicking by a seven-foot-tall vigilante. 

    The important corollary to any plan to impersonate a super-hero, of course, is that that hero will eventually get wind and show up to see just what they are supposedly doing, which leads to, yes, a collective ass-kicking by a seven-foot-tall vigilante. (The Arrow 002, 1940)

    I’d probably make more of this “ring of big shots” and their plan to take over NYC by blowing up the various dams that contain its water reservoirs (for instance: is a flooded New York without a fresh water supply really worth taking over?) but Phantasmo really torpedoes their whole plan by literally torpedoing their leader as he’s trying to torpedo the New Croton Dam, so the whole plot fizzles before it can really get off the ground. (The Funnies 047, 1940)

    He may be an extremely generic Central American revolutionary leader who bungles things spectacularly enough that his entire force is destroyed before they actually get around to doing any revolution, but I do find the name “El Tiger” to be as charming as it is linguistically nonsensical. (The Funnies 050, 1940)

    Is Eldas Thayer, a cranky old terminally ill miser who stages his own murder in order to frame the Spirit, yet another example of me possibly straying a bit too far from the concept of the “generic costumed villain” that this round-up supposedly exists to showcase? Probably, but that doesn’t matter because I am in charge here.

    Though the reason for this plot is ultimately “this is a more interesting comic if the Spirit is wanted by the police” (which is why the Spirit is never actually exonerated for this crime), I do really appreciate Thayer’s forthright statement that he is doing this because he is an evil old man. Not enough villains have the guts to own up to that kind of thing, you know? (The Spirit, “Eldas Thayer”, 21 July, 1940) 

    ADDENDUM: I have made a proverbial fool of myself. The Spirit was cleared of the murder of Eldas Thayer like three months later. 

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 806: THE SCOURGE

    (The Funnies 050, 1940)

    The Scourge is a bandit chief operating in the nonspecific Medieval-pastiche England of the Black Knight, and let me tell you, he is a terrific villain. His amazing look is one thing – just how many Golden Age villains have the confidence to use eye makeup to accentuate their air of menace? – but on top of that I have seldom seen a villain so eager and joyful to torture a peasant woman. Just an amazingly hateable guy, with a really top-notch crew of evil oafs to boot.

    Though the poor woman’s husband and sons set out to avenge her, they prove no match for the Scourge and his band of ruffians, and it falls to the Black Knight and a local hunk to get the job done. 

    It does of course turn out that a good look and a bad attitude will only take you so far, particularly when your follow-up to a a successful heist is to get drunk in the woods for a week straight. The Black Knight and his unnamed and shirtless assistant make quick work of the lot of them once they are able to approach them on equal footing, and the Scourge meets his end by the Black Knight’s Blade.