The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: espionage

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 019

    We may have gotten away from the “costumed” and “generic” is debatable but you can take the “villain” from my cold dead hands. 

    This guy is part of a gang who:

    -broke into Fort Knox via a secret tunnel

    -smashed up up all of the gold and mixed it into stone in a nearby quarry

    -transported that gold-bearing stone from the quarry to a mansion

    -melted down the gold and concealed it inside a series of bronze statues

    And while I suppose that you want to take a lot of care to conceal your movements when you are looting the US gold reserve I just have to be on record as saying that this is an unnecessarily complex scheme. Just book it for the border, fellows!

    Also Dynamo, stung by the razzing of government investigators, gilds the entire gang… thus killing them? before turning them in. Brutal stuff. (Science Comics 002, 1940)

    This very cool looking but unnamed spy chief has developed anti-Dynamo technology that renders him immune to the various beams and rays that usually assail the hero’s foes, which he uses to make off with some explosive wire that Dynamo and the nerds at his day job have made. He pulls off this theft pretty slickly but then completely fails to recognize the difficulty of attempting to pull off a scheme (in this case blowing up US military installations using explosive wire) while a super-hero is after you. It’s a real failure to recognize the opportunity to slay Dynamo while he can’t get you, unnamed spy chief! (Science Comics 004, 1940)

    John J. Hix, millionaire and asylum escapee, needs to get revenge on his old friend for some reason, so he puts on a cloak that makes him look like the ghost of a cat and hires some crooks to kidnap his friend’s daughter Doris Dare (a “society deb singer,” which is not a type of entertainer I am familiar with. Was it a thing? It’s hard to tell!) so that he can kill her. He is opposed by heroic police inspector the Duke and ends up blowing himself up rather than be captured. (Silver Streak Comics 002, 1940)

    The Sky Wolf encounters this goofy-but-also-cool magnetically-shielded fire-breathing duck/dragon/plane as it attacks fishing boats one day and traces it back to a similarly magnetically-shielded base where crooks armed with plastic guns inform him that all of this is essentially prep work in advance of setting up a smuggling operation.

    Now, issues of whether the expense involved in setting up this operation might cut substantially into any profits realized from it or indeed whether simply selling this magnetic bullet shield to one of the many armies extant in 1940 might be more profitable aside… my admittedly layman’s understanding of how smuggling works is that you really want to keep it as quiet as possible. Maybe I’m naive, but establishing a huge messy monster-infested exclusion zone might just… draw more attention to your operation? Like a masked pilot, for example? 

    Anyway, they all get blown up. (Silver Streak Comics 006, 1940)

  • PROBLEMATIC ROUND-UP 004

    Get ready for a collection of MLJ’s finest racially-problematic villains.

    Yen Fat Sing: 

    Yen Fat Sing’s deal is that he knows about a treasure buried on Fu Chang’s charity farm and, in an effort to grab that treasure for himself, has been murdering the workers using man-eating plants. He’s a pretty standard type of minor super-villain but because he is a Fu Chang foe he is of course a generic Yellow Peril character on top of that. A couple of remarkable things about Yen Fat Sing: 

    1. after all the effort to run everyone off the farm, once Fu Chang is closing in he just sneaks onto the grounds and digs up the treasure, suggesting that he could have done that all along and particularly so because nobody knew about the treasure at all until he ran his mouth about it.

    2. Yen Fat Sing is killed in the course of the story but, unlike virtually every other comic book villain to have anything to do with carnivorous plants, he is not eaten by a tree but rather dies in a car crash.

    I do rally like that the man-eating plants only attack in the dark. That’s a fun detail. (Pep Comics 005, 1940)

    Joodar the Evil:

    Joodar the Evil starts out as an evil equivalent to Fu Chang, only instead of accessing his power via supplication to an ancestral god with a tonsure, Joodar worships the Great Genii of the Water Demons, and instead of a very eclectic set of animated chess figures…

    … Joodar is granted the services of – you guessed it – water demons. Though his stated plans involve world domination, Joodar has a lot of trouble with step 1: destroy Fu Chang, to the extent that both the Great Genii and his Water Demon crew end up destroyed. (Pep Comics 006, 1940)

    Joodar returns in the next issue, potentially because “summoning water demons” isn’t a crime in San Francisco. This time he is without his demon pals and so he turns to the next best things: bacteria and mosquitoes! Specifically, he has mixed up a big batch of different harmful bacteria and stuck ’em in some mosquitoes in order to create havoc in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Why does he do this? It’s not entirely clear. Generic revenge? Mass chaos? Joodar doesn’t really deliver a coherent thesis statement I’m afraid.

    Joodar’s greatest creation is this enormous mosquito, which almost takes out Fu Chang and his fiance Tay Ming but ultimately cannot contend with those pesky magic chessmen. Joodar, as far as I know, just absconds into the night – perhaps mosquito-crime is also not illegal in San Francisco. (Pep Comics 007, 1940)

    Dr Wang:

    Dr Wang is a Yellow Peril villain in the true Fu Manchu mould, a sinister genius who strikes at the security of the US for no stated reason. It’s possible that we are meant to read Asian villain = Japanese, but if I’m honest an evil mastermind who plots against the United States for the sheer cussed challenge of it it quite a bit more evocative.

    Dr Wang is so threatening to the secuirty of the country, in fact, that we are introduced to him in media res ad the Shield attempts to murder him by dropping a boulder on his car. This is that proactive super-hero action that we al1 wanted in the late aughts!

    Dr Wang has two things going for him: the first is his mask, which looks great. Terrific style of mask, particularly with a hat. The second is his plan to disrupt US war production, by rounding up a bunch of guys who are afflicted with cholera and hypnotizing them into getting jobs in arms factories, thus starting a targeted cholera epidemic. And the very fun thing about this is that cholera is mostly spread by contact with infected feces, so these factories must be disgusting.

    The Shield cannot of course let this stand, and goes back for another try at solving the Dr Wang Problem, and you know what they say: the second time is the charm – plus it’s a bit more narratively satisfying for the Shield not to do a premeditated murder! (Shield-Wizard Comics 002, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 691: THE CLAW

    (Pep Comics 007, 1940) 

    The Press Guardian’s only recurring villain, the Claw has what can only be described as an eclectic career: In his first appearance he’s a sort of freelance spy chief working to aid the I-assume-European country of Shironia in its attempt to conquer neighbouring Lanfia by committing acts of sabotage in the US and framing Lanfia as the perpetrator so that America will withdraw its support of Lanfia. The Press Guardian exposes the scheme and sends the Claw and his henchmen to a presumed watery grave.

    Pep 008 drops a bombshell: the Claw could, in fact, swim. Instead of drowning, he made his way to the Central City docks and set up an insurance scam whereby he and his crew of rowdy sea dogs sunk their own ships for a tidy profit. The only flaw in the plan: the Claw kept on murdering nosy reporters who got too interested in all the shipwrecks going on, and you know that the Press Guardian is going to show up to check something like that out. The Claw ended up in the drink again, presumed dead but with more of a question mark than before.

    And that question mark was justified! Pep 009’s Press Guardian adventure begins with he and his aide Cynthia Blake investigating an extremely suspicious want ad for “young, healthy women with no living relatives” and wouldn’t you know it, it’s the Claw again. He’s been turning people into beast-men using animal hormone injections and he’s decided to finally branch out into making beast-women. The Press Guardian is even less into this scenario than the others and wastes little time in beating everyone up and forcing the Claw to reveal the antidote to beast-manism. When last seen the one-handed villain is being chased down by a mob of former beast-men, with murderous intent. Surely the Claw has finally met his end?

    No dice. The Claw returns one last time, in Pep Comics 010, with a knife-wielding green-skinned weirdo named the Goon in tow. The Goon and the Claw have been kidnapping women from a bit of cottage country called Rocky Point – has he gone back to making beast-women? Is he trying to ruin the Press Guardian’s home paper, the Daily Express, who are involved in the development of the region somehow? No, he’s trying to drive people off so that he can steal a radium deposit that’s located on the land.

    The Claw suffers a fairly ignominious defeat in the face of what can’t have been a very hard kick from Cynthia Blake. For all that he’s been tenacious, he’s also always been very easily defeated and while in a real-world way I know that that is because the Press Guardian was a second-tier character with a smaller pagecount than a headliner like the Shield, in my heart of hearts I prefer to believe that he’s just a scrawny little wiener. Or maybe it’s because he hangs out in radium-filled caves all the time, who can say.

    Though the Goon is captured, the Claw just scampers away, and since he isn’t in what turns out to be the Press Guardian’s final outing in Pep Comics 011, he’s just… at large when all is said and done (though again: radium cave. The Claw might not have been troubling humanity for much longer after this particular escapade).

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 674: THE SCALENE ANGLES

    (Miracle Comics 001, 1940)

    “Police athlete” Dash Dixon’s first super-heroic adventure involves him travelling to the small European Republic of Scalene in search of the murderers of several US exporters. Turns out that they were killed to prevent arms and other supplies from being brought into the country, because the Scalene Angles, a group of wealthy jerks, were looking to conquer it.

    The most important thing about the Scalene Angles is of course their name. It’s fun, but it also depends on their country being named Scalene and once you consider that you have to imagine the whole nation being lousy with places like Triangle Square and Three Sides of Different Lengths Locksmithing and the Pythagoras Doesn’t Know Us Bakery (and maybe a few places talking about the neck in some way). It’s still a great name but it’s also probably the name of a triangleball team that one of their kids plays on so no points for originality here.

    (they do leave a note with a little triangle signature and I always like that, so one point to them there. But Dash Dixon does find and destroy them because of that note so the point is a treacherous one)