The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: jewel thief

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 576: GRUNDO THE GREAT

    (Champion Comics 010, 1940)

    There are a few things to like about Grundo the Great: his mustache, his name which sounds like it’s what Miss Grundy would be called in a 1960s Archie Comics fantasy series about the heroic students battling the teachers as evil warlords, the fact that he has a “crew of mad chemists and technicians” in his mountaintop castle somewhere in the Midwestern US… Lot of good stuff. His ultimate aim, to take over America, is a little standard but you have to admit that it’s villainous.

    If Grundo (his real name, by the way: Lars Grundo) has a major flaw, it’s in going too big, too early. In order to raise funds for his mad science crew he pulls a heist of the fabulous Taj Mah Jewels while they are being transported by plane, exactly the kind of crime that attracts the attention of a super-hero like the Human Meteor.

    (side note: this is the second “Taj Mahal Jewels” sound-alike I’ve encountered from the year 1940 – the first being the Green Mask and the Taj Lamah Jewels – and that’s the sort of coincidence that makes me think that there was a famous Taj Mahal Jewels exhibition in 1939 or 1940. Turns out that “Taj Mahal” is one of those search terms that really blows out your results with a lot of unrelated information. There was a “Taj Mahal Emerald” on display at the 1939 NY World’s Fair but that’s about as far as I’m going to get without doing actual research so I’ll just assume that that’s what inspired both)

    The Human Meteor does take an interest, and makes his way to Grundo’s mountain fastness. Grundo employs a really fantastic deathtrap: a door that opens up onto a sheer cliff that a puruer can be baited into charging through. It only works on an enemy who can’t fly, unfortunately for Grundo.

    Grundo and his crew are so completely outclassed by the Human Meteor that it’s a bit of a mercy when they are all blown to high heaven by their own bombs. Perhaps they would have had more of a chance to shine if they had faced off against a slightly less superhuman foe.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 538: THE WHISP

    (Funny Pages v3 008, 1939)

    There’s not much to the Whisp, which I suppose is appropriate. A bloodthirsty jewel thief, the Whisp makes off with some star sapphire bracelets and pulls a switcheroo by using a garage’s loaner car to make their initial getaway before swapping back to their own car for the long haul.

    The final trick is that the Whisp is not, in fact, a fresh-faced young man but a woman! And unlike some of our other cross-dressing characters this seems to be purely for the purpose of disguise rather than some sort of gender non-conformity. And it works! The dumb local cops are seemingly about to jail the poor garage owner based on the fact that he claims that two men borrowed his car even though it contained some long blonde hairs and thus… I can’t actually even begin to piece together why that would implicate him, honestly.

    Of course while the cops are being dummies our hero the Arrow is on the case. It’s a bit uncharacteristically gentle but he merely runs the Whisp and her companion off the road into a gorge and partially drowns one of them – as opposed to his usual methods, of course, which involve a lot of arrows impaling people. It’s probably because the Whisp is a woman?

    In conclusion, the extra ‘h’ in Whisp is very annoying.

  • GENERIC COSTUMED VILLAIN ROUND-UP 009

    GENERIC! COSTUMED! VILLAINS!

    It’s not much of a costume but this dude named Marmi does manage to use a trained cobra to steal a huge ruby before the Radio Squad gets him, which is a feat. (More Fun Comics 072, 1941)

    It’s possible that this fellow was meant to have a name but he never managed to say it over the Green Mask’s relentless mocking of his costume. He’s munitions magnate August Mincer, who has no obvious ties to Nazism despite his gruesome swastika-themed deathtrap. His plans to take over the US munitions market and possibly the world are stopped by a boomerang to the head from Green Mask sidekick Domino the Miracle Boy (Mystery Men Comics 018, 1941)

    A bunch of fake ghosts set to scare off Zara of the Jungle and her guy-pal Jeff Graves from a slavery operation, these guys not only have a great look but an unshakable faith in their armoured skull headpieces – not only that they will protect them from all incoming attacks but that their foes will only go for headshots. All of these guys must have so many concussions. (Mystic Comics v1 003, 1940)

    This here bunch of handsome lads are the Communist-esque henchmen of spy Kursk. They capture weirdo hero Dr Hypno but don’t manage to get what they want out of him before he projects his mind into a little cat and escapes. (Amazing-Man Comics 018, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 413: DR MAGNO

    (Amazing Man Comics 008, 1939)

    Dr Magno is your classic elemental evil opposite: a man with magnetic hands pitted against a man with an iron skeleton. He’s a wild-card ex-foe of the Iron Skull freshly broken out of the asylum to loot Chicago of its jewels and get revenge on his traitorous ex-cronies.

    He’s also, weirdly, an evil equivalent, as both he and the Iron Skull owe their powers to debilitating injuries suffered in the Great War of 1950, but whereas the Iron Skull was rebuilt as a nigh-indestructible cyborg, Dr Magno got some magnetic hands. 

    What’s that you say? The Great War of when? That’s right! The Iron Skull stories are set in the far future of ~1970 CE! Carl Burgos invented retro-future neo-noir while regular noir was still going strong (mostly by not changing the clothing and car styles of the future, but still)!

    Anyway, Dr Magno gets the jump on the Iron Skull using magnetism, but spoils his chances for revenge by making the classic mistake of spending so long gloating and drawing out the hero’s end that he is able to escape.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 413: DR MAGNO

    MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 413: DR MAGNO

    (Amazing Man Comics 008, 1939)

    Dr Magno is your classic elemental evil opposite: a man with magnetic hands pitted against a man with an iron skeleton. He’s a wild-card ex-foe of the Iron Skull freshly broken out of the asylum to loot Chicago of its jewels and get revenge on his traitorous ex-cronies.

    He’s also, weirdly, an evil equivalent, as both he and the Iron Skull owe their powers to debilitating injuries suffered in the Great War of 1950, but whereas the Iron Skull was rebuilt as a nigh-indestructible cyborg, Dr Magno got some magnetic hands. 

    What’s that you say? The Great War of when? That’s right! The Iron Skull stories are set in the far future of ~1970 CE! Carl Burgos invented retro-future neo-noir while regular noir was still going strong (mostly by not changing the clothing and car styles of the future, but still)!

    Anyway, Dr Magno gets the jump on the Iron Skull using magnetism, but spoils his chances for revenge by making the classic mistake of spending so long gloating and drawing out the hero’s end that he is able to escape.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 385: THE GREAT MEDICINE BIRD

    (More Fun Comics 067, 1941)

    It’s an old, dumb trope: diamond thief Gordon Slade escapes into the jungle with his loot and then takes over a tribe as it’s spiritual leader – sometimes it’s a god but in this case it’s as a medicine man. Between the name and the outfit the Great Medicine Bird, like a lot of his shitty compatriots, technically qualifies for the status of minor super-villain. But since I don’t especially like them, they’re going into roundup posts from now on.

    And yes I could have just started a roundup post with this guy but then I wouldn’t have the opportunity to present this: the most over-the-top death I have encountered in a while: briefly getting the upper hand over Congo Bill, Slade is grabbed by a boa constrictor. He kills it, causing them both to plunge into a crocodile-infested river. Congo Bill’s pal Professor Kent calls him both a snake and a rat as a eulogy.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 334: THE MONOCLE

    (All-Flash Quarterly 001, 1941) 

    I love a foppish gang boss, and the Monocle might just be the most foppish I’ve seen in some time. He’s got all the accessories: the monocle, natch, but also the eccentric mustache, cigarette holder, neat suit with nosegay and tiepin and pocket square and to top it off one of the more eccentric comic book hobbies I have ever encountered: a twee little garden where he displays his stolen gems in artificial flowers. Pretty great stuff.

    The Monocle is also a technically-minded villain, whose main line is planning knockout gas-centric crimes but with a sideline in deathtraps – his booby-trapped HQ does a better job than most at almost bumping off the Flash.

    Of particular note is that the Monocle hits upon the same discovery as an unnamed criminal scientist the year before: that though the Flash moves fast enough that he uproots shrubs and blows the clothing off of people in his wake, he also moves slow enough that a stroboscopic lighting setup will make it possible to effectively aim a firearm at him. He might even have actually killed the Flash if, succumbing to the deathtrap-maker’s hubris, he hadn’t left mid-battle to check on his gem garden.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 257: THE SWORDS OF DEATH

    (Hit Comics 006, 1940)

    Once again we find ourselves profiling the interesting henchmen of a run-of-the-mill villain: the Swords of Death, in this case. A trio of assassin/ thieves armed with electrified rapiers and high opinions of themselves, the Swords have the misfortune to run into perennial-punching-bag-but-actually-fun-character the Red Bee on what seems to be their first mission, whereupon he promptly kills two of them.  

    I like the Swords of Death – any time a hero has to beat up a bunch of cool henchmen is okay by me, and cool electric swordsmen who sneak around in hats and overcoats like the Ninja Turtles are extra fun. Possibly the most intriguing thing about them, however, is that the surviving member of the three kills himself upon being defeated by the Red Bee, rather than be captured. A shocking degree of loyalty! Especially as…

    … he works for this weird little creep (named Kulak, in a weird made-up name coincidence), continuing the long comic book tradition of inexplicable loyalty-unto-death by ruthless killers toward people who probably wouldn’t buy them a coffee on their birthday, let alone give a damn that they were dead.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 257: THE SWORDS OF DEATH

    (Hit Comics 006, 1940)

    Once again we find ourselves profiling the interesting henchmen of a run-of-the-mill villain: the Swords of Death, in this case. A trio of assassin/ thieves armed with electrified rapiers and high opinions of themselves, the Swords have the misfortune to run into perennial-punching-bag-but-actually-fun-character the Red Bee on what seems to be their first mission, whereupon he promptly kills two of them.  

    I like the Swords of Death – any time a hero has to beat up a bunch of cool henchmen is okay by me, and cool electric swordsmen who sneak around in hats and overcoats like the Ninja Turtles are extra fun. Possibly the most intriguing thing about them, however, is that the surviving member of the three kills himself upon being defeated by the Red Bee, rather than be captured. A shocking degree of loyalty! Especially as…

    … he works for this weird little creep (named Kulak, in a weird made-up name coincidence), continuing the long comic book tradition of inexplicable loyalty-unto-death by ruthless killers toward people who probably wouldn’t buy them a coffee on their birthday, let alone give a damn that they were dead.

  • SUPER-VILLAIN YEARBOOK: THE JOKER 1940

    What did the Joker get up to in 1940?

    1. Batman Comics v1 001, ‘Untitled’ **first appearance**

    The Joker really hits the ground running in his first crime-outing. He establishes his character – prideful, mercurial and on-theme – and methods that are still in his repertoire to this day

    He indulges in the old standard of warning the police ahead of time, then killing his target and stealing their named gems (uh, this is a personal term for any gem famous enough to have a name, like the Hope Diamond. they make more frequent appearances in comics than real life, unsurprisingly). Not the most creative of crime sprees by his own eventual standard, but everyone has to start somewhere. He also murders a number of people who challenge him, including a gang boss and a judge who once sent him to jail (a perfect 1/1 judge and jury revenge slaying! Aim low, kids!).

    Also established this adventure: the smiling-death style of Joker Venom, as well as:

    …the classic hideous Joker calling card design.

    But despite racking up an impressive success rate and almost killing both Batman and Robin on several occasions, the Joker ends his first outing in the slammer.

    2. Batman Comics v1 001, ‘The Joker Returns’

    That’s right, the Joker makes his second appearance in the same issue as his first! They knew he was a hot property from the very start!

    After a very dramatic escape from prison and a relocation to his secret cemetery hideout, the Joker settles into his familiar pattern: a taunting message, then theft or the murder of his enemies. In achieving the latter, he employs two of my very favourite deathtraps in comics:

    To bump off the Chief of Police: a sound-activated poison dart launcher concealed in his telephone – and he activates it by shouting his own name real loud! Tremendous style points there.

    The second is just sharpened playing cars with poison on the edges, but again there’s some tremendous style on display in the commitment to the bit of having an entire pack of jokers. Completely worth going around to every gaming supply store in Gotham to buy packs of the same brand of cards.

    A minor point in this adventure is that it highlights that the Joker is primarily a jewel thief, something that I associate with the Golden Age version of the character but that might just be me extrapolating from this issue.

    And finally we have the death of the Joker, truly one of the great on-brand death scenes of all time as he gets stabbed while struggling over a knife with Batman. It was a good run but the Joker is dead.

    OR IS HE???

    3. Batman Comics v1 002, ‘Untitled’

    Since the Joker actually survived the last issue, both Batman and the members of Crime Syndicate Inc  have the same idea: kidnap him while he’s being treated for his injuries, the former for some sort of gruesome lobotomy and the latter as a replacement for their recently deceased leader. More than half of the story is taken up with the dueling Joker kidnappings, after which he predictably betrays the crooks, strikes out on his own and ends up left for dead in a burning castle.

    More interesting to me is that this is the end of a sequence of events that, well, here’s a timeline:

    -Initial Joker crime spree. No time period is specified in the story but it seems a fairly rapid-fire series of crimes. Somewhere between 1 and 2 weeks, we’ll say. Joker is captured.

    -Two days later, Joker escapes. His crime spree resumes at the same pace, with at least two robberies occurring sequentially. Say another 1 to 2 weeks. Joker is seriously injured and rushed to hospital.

    -Crooks spirit Joker away following his treatment. His recovery lasts one week, after which he seemingly dies in a fire.

    What this all adds up to is a situation like Friday the Thirteenth 2 through 4, but whereas that was an astonishingly bloody weekend told over the course of three movies, this is the Joker committing at least 6 high-profile robberies and 13 murders over the course of one to two months! A huge debut for the big guy!

    4. Detective Comics v1 045, ‘The Case of the Laughing Death’

    Predictably, the Joker is not, in fact, dead! He remains alive to this day if you can believe it!

    He has, though, adopted a brand new modus operandi. Perhaps drawing on his brief time with Crime Syndicate Inc, he slips for the first time into an alter ego with the infuriating surname of Rekoj and forms a little gang of his own. Then, after his gang pulls a heist, he robs them as the Joker so that he doesn’t have to split the profits with them. IT’S A DUMB PLAN BUT IT WORKS.

    I’m willing to forgive, but only because of the great deathtraps, and this is a fun one: a record that releases Joker Toxin as it plays, thus killing even as its message is delivered. Insidious!

    At story’s end, the Joker is in the drink, presumed dead. For good? No.

    5. Batman Comics v1 004, ‘The Case of the Joker’s Crime Circus!’

    For his final outing of 1940, the Joker assembles another gang. This time, it’s one of my favourite styles of gang, the circus of crime! They specialize in casing wealthy patrons’ estates and manors and then using their circus skills to rob the various joints.

    Batman being Batman, he pieces together the clues and tracks down the Joker, who ends the adventure in the traditional manner by seemingly plummeting to his death.

    Body Count: at least 14

    End-of-year Status: Presumed Dead