The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: kidnapper

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 607: THE MIRACLE MEN

    (Fantastic Comics 005, 1940)

    Like a fair few Fletcher Hanks villains, the Miracle Men take a regular crime and amp it up to the nth degree. In this case, thanks to the technological marvel that is the Invisible Vacuum Tube, they have industrialized kidnapping. And if the ransom is not paid an appropriately oversized response can be delivered via their tornado making machines! This is modern, industrialized crime!

    Under the direction of leader Wolf-Eye, the Miracle Men perform hundreds of simultaneous kidnappings. Should Wolf-Eye be the one in the title of this entry? Maybe.

    Unfortunately for the hundreds of rich guys and the US at large, the FBI does not want to pay up, so it’s tornado time.

    Stardust is of course all over this, so the chances of a major city being destroyed via super-tornado are only about 50% (this is, remember, a Fletcher Hanks comic – he does not shy away from mass casualties). This time there is no slaughter, but remember folks: Stardust will not necessarily save you. He will avenge you.

    The greatest and most unexpected thing in this comic is when the hitherto-normal seeming gang boss Wolf-Eye unveils his gland-control magic. Is it real magic or more super-science? Impossible to say but I choose to believe that it’s magic, a perhaps one-time spell that Wolf-Eye has kept in his back pocket for years in case his authority is sufficiently challenged. It’s really great.

    Merely being a big guy is not enough to take on an enraged Super Wizard, however, so all Wolf-Eye gets for his trouble is a sock in the mouth and a trip to Prison City by way of Getting Shrunk Avenue. It is perhaps lucky for the Miracle Men that they only kidnapped people, as the most ironic punishment for a kidnapping is of course to be taken away and confined yourself – it’s just lucky for them that Stardust didn’t decide to seal them up in a big boulder or something.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 607: THE MIRACLE MEN

    (Fantastic Comics 005, 1940)

    Like a fair few Fletcher Hanks villains, the Miracle Men take a regular crime and amp it up to the nth degree. In this case, thanks to the technological marvel that is the Invisible Vacuum Tube, they have industrialized kidnapping. And if the ransom is not paid an appropriately oversized response can be delivered via their tornado making machines! This is modern, industrialized crime!

    Under the direction of leader Wolf-Eye, the Miracle Men perform hundreds of simultaneous kidnappings. Should Wolf-Eye be the one in the title of this entry? Maybe.

    Unfortunately for the hundreds of rich guys and the US at large, the FBI does not want to pay up, so it’s tornado time.

    Stardust is of course all over this, so the chances of a major city being destroyed via super-tornado are only about 50% (this is, remember, a Fletcher Hanks comic – he does not shy away from mass casualties). This time there is no slaughter, but remember folks: Stardust will not necessarily save you. He will avenge you.

    The greatest and most unexpected thing in this comic is when the hitherto-normal seeming gang boss Wolf-Eye unveils his gland-control magic. Is it real magic or more super-science? Impossible to say but I choose to believe that it’s magic, a perhaps one-time spell that Wolf-Eye has kept in his back pocket for years in case his authority is sufficiently challenged. It’s really great.

    Merely being a big guy is not enough to take on an enraged Super Wizard, however, so all Wolf-Eye gets for his trouble is a sock in the mouth and a trip to Prison City by way of Getting Shrunk Avenue. It is perhaps lucky for the Miracle Men that they only kidnapped people, as the most ironic punishment for a kidnapping is of course to be taken away and confined yourself – it’s just lucky for them that Stardust didn’t decide to seal them up in a big boulder or something.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 601: THE THINKER

    (Fantastic Comics 004, 1940) 

    After a couple of stories worth of interruptions, Space Smith and Dianna either finished the Brain off between issues or they and/or Fletcher Hanks forgot that he was an immanent threat to life on Earth because this issue finds them following a mysterious radio signal to sight-see a rare gold comet as it passes by the moon.

    Instead of watching the comet on its flyby, Space and Dianna are hit with a ray that disables their spaceship before being drawn to the surface. There they find themselves the captives of the Thinker and his army of headless goons. And here let me say that while it is not great that the Thinker’s only stated goal is to acquire Dianna as his “Empress-Goddess”, there is a clarity of purpose there that is a bit refreshing after seeing so many villains attempt to wed unwilling women as a mere opportunistic afterthought.

    Whether the Thinker had greater plans or if getting married to a woman and keeping her in a “flame-girdled Cage of Solitude” was his only goal in life will have to go unanswered because he learns the same hard lesson as so many other big-headed creeps in comics do: all of your big-head smart plans can be undone in an instant by some thoughtless violence. 

    RIP the Thinker: you should have controlled for muscleheads.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 599: POSEIDA

    (Fantastic Comics 003, 1940)

    Back to the adventures of Sub Saunders in the Year 10 000 CE! Naulus has been defeated and for their part in achieving that the US military, represented by Sub Saunders, have been promised untold subsea riches recovered from millennia of shipwrecks. The problem with this plan is that the riches are still just kind of out on the seafloor and more specifically that Poseida, ruler of the nearby city of Coralla, has decided to gather them up for himself.

    The impending diplomatic incident over the ownership of this treasure is forestalled by a different diplomatic incident as Poseida takes a shine to Sub Saunders’ fiancee Peg and attempts to woo her in the traditional manner of the villain: kidnapping and extortion. Is the fact that he seems to be the only human in a city of long-bearded Mermen any excuse for this? Not really but it does shed some light on his motivations.

    Poseida’s plan to win Peg’s love by placing Sub in danger fails when Sub utterly demolishes his giant spider crab foe and before long he has radioed Atlantis for help. The ensuing Frogman/ Merman battle is sadly only visible through the streaky windows of Poseida’s HQ. One good sock to the jaw and the treasure Peg is saved!

    There’s no follow-up on Poseida but as the leader of what seems to be a sovereign city-state he should be safe from prosecution for his crimes. He should count his lucky stars that he didn’t get blown up like Naulus.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 578: SEMMURABI

    (Champion Comics 010, 1940)

    Have you ever wondered what happened to the Chaldeans, the ancient Mesopotamian people whose height was from the 9th to 6th centuries BCE, who were mentioned frequently in the Bible and whose name was lent to a Babylonian dynasty? Well wonder no longer! They were merely tucked away in a little hidden city less than a day’s travel via horse from Jerusalem! At least until 1940, that is, because that’s when the city’s leader, a fellow named Semmurabi, made the mistake of being too horny. Or maybe he’d been kidnapping clueless tourists (sincerely clueless: they were roped in by an offer to show them the remains of Noah’s Ark on Mt Arrarat) to add to his harem forever and this was just the first time he’d done it to someone who knew a super-hero.

    In Semmurabi’s defense (for not knowing to keep a lower profile, not for kidnapping women) this is a very early Dr Miracle adventure and he can be excused for assuming that he wouldn’t meet opposition from a tuxedoed magic-man (but again, he will not be excused for the kidnapping). This also might explain why he makes the classic mistake of challenging a more powerful opponent to a magical duel in the astral realm: because he simply didn’t know better.

    Ignorance is no excuse in magic as in law and Semmurabi meets his end in the depths of a star. Sorry, Chaldea. You were ruled by a dope and now you pass into history. (Champion Comics 010, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 578: SEMMURABI

    (Champion Comics 010, 1940)

    Have you ever wondered what happened to the Chaldeans, the ancient Mesopotamian people whose height was from the 9th to 6th centuries BCE, who were mentioned frequently in the Bible and whose name was lent to a Babylonian dynasty? Well wonder no longer! They were merely tucked away in a little hidden city less than a day’s travel via horse from Jerusalem! At least until 1940, that is, because that’s when the city’s leader, a fellow named Semmurabi, made the mistake of being too horny. Or maybe he’d been kidnapping clueless tourists (sincerely clueless: they were roped in by an offer to show them the remains of Noah’s Ark on Mt Arrarat) to add to his harem forever and this was just the first time he’d done it to someone who knew a super-hero.

    In Semmurabi’s defense (for not knowing to keep a lower profile, not for kidnapping women) this is a very early Dr Miracle adventure and he can be excused for assuming that he wouldn’t meet opposition from a tuxedoed magic-man (but again, he will not be excused for the kidnapping). This also might explain why he makes the classic mistake of challenging a more powerful opponent to a magical duel in the astral realm: because he simply didn’t know better.

    Ignorance is no excuse in magic as in law and Semmurabi meets his end in the depths of a star. Sorry, Chaldea. You were ruled by a dope and now you pass into history. (Champion Comics 010, 1940)

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 569: NEPTINA

    (Champion Comics 002, 1939) 

    I can’t say for sure that whoever created Neptina sat down and said “I will make a lady version of Namor the Sub-Mariner” but it’s at least plausible. Neptina is the ruler of the undersea kingdom of Amloza, and has designs on a total conquest of the surface world as well as the depths.

    Neptina is, like Namor, a horny character. She captures US Navy Lieutenant Brad Fletcher early in her series and spends a considerable amount of mental, martial and political energy in subsequent installments in service of keeping him near her and away from other women.

    (note the little tuning fork thing that Neptina is holding – it works in concert with a telepathic receiver as a form of communication for the Fish-Men of Amloza. There are lots and lots of panels featuring characters who look like they’re playing with a toy from the 1920s when in fact they are talking to one another. It’s fun!)

    Neptina is shown to be a ruthless slaver with ranks of surface men pillaged from ships and equipped with gills in place of their human lungs. The reverse operation can be performed on Fish-Men to allow them to become fully amphibious, though the lungs involved must be harvested from a human. Neptina’s vanity is showcased when she demands that the lungs for her operation be harvested from a beautiful woman only. This also proves to be Neptina’s first major stumbling block, as Brad Fletcher immediately falls in love with movie star Norma Kane when she is brought to Amloza, and rescuing her is one of his major motivations for disrupting Neptina’s plans in early installments.

    More interesting than Neptina’s schemes is the biology of Amloza’s population. There appear to be at least two biological castes, with more humanoid Fish-Men Nobles like Brad Fletcher’s friend Gakk holding higher station than the fish-headed commoners (Neptina’s chief scientist Mogg is a regular Fish-Man and probably the most competent character in the comic, in a welcome nod to the foolishness of biological determinism).

    Complicating things further is the fact that the female population of Amloza appears to consist entirely of bodacious blonde babes in shell bras. If it were just Neptina I’d figure that she was a surface woman somehow elevated to the throne (the racial politics of the time would almost demand that a non-white/nonhuman group would instinctively subjugate themselves to a blonde bombshell), but this suggests the kind of sexual dimorphism we see in fantasy and sci-fi character design (mildly NSFW comic, but Oglaf as a whole is wildly NSFW).

    The other option, and the one I favour, is that the group represented by Neptina and the Fish-Men are two morphologically distinct but related species operating as a unified society – perhaps the Neptinans are naturally parthogenic (sp) which explains their seeming single gender, while the Fish-Men could lack any sexual dimorphism. The Fish-Men Nobles would thus represent hybrids of the two populations and thus their role as nobles could be seen as a bridge between the two.

    Speculative biology aside, here’s a timeline of Neptina’s deal:

    -after Brad Fletcher and Norma Kane escape, she acquires lungs from a second, less fortunate surface woman and makes her way to NYC.

    -while attempting to raise capital by selling some huge pearls, Neptina runs afoul of both the NYPD and a gang of crooks, who foolishly attempt to get rid of her via drowning and end up on the bottom of the harbour themselves.

    -the pearls in question are the sacred Tear Drops of Neptune and scientist Mogg, already a mite anti-monarchist in his leanings, embarks on a) a mission to recover them and b) an attempt to undermine Neptina’s plans of conquest.

    -also set against Neptina: Gakk the Fish-Man Noble and her own half-sister Mhersa, leader of a rebel group called the Maella.

    -Brad returns with a diplomatic envoy. Things are tense but civil until the surface folk help drive off an invasion by Dhakka Snail-Men. At this point, Neptina effectively reforms – Mogg has even seemingly forgiven her for making off with the sacred pearls. More dark: the US Government in the form of Brad Fletcher has forgiven her for the many crimes against its citizens in pursuit of a powerful alliance. 

    As 1940 closes, Brad, Norma, Neptina and Mogg are stranded mid-ocean and Mhersa has taken over Amloza. Will she be villainous enough to appear here? Find out when I make my way to the 1941 issues of Champ Comics!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 569: NEPTINA

    (Champion Comics 002, 1939) 

    I can’t say for sure that whoever created Neptina sat down and said “I will make a lady version of Namor the Sub-Mariner” but it’s at least plausible. Neptina is the ruler of the undersea kingdom of Amloza, and has designs on a total conquest of the surface world as well as the depths.

    Neptina is, like Namor, a horny character. She captures US Navy Lieutenant Brad Fletcher early in her series and spends a considerable amount of mental, martial and political energy in subsequent installments in service of keeping him near her and away from other women.

    (note the little tuning fork thing that Neptina is holding – it works in concert with a telepathic receiver as a form of communication for the Fish-Men of Amloza. There are lots and lots of panels featuring characters who look like they’re playing with a toy from the 1920s when in fact they are talking to one another. It’s fun!)

    Neptina is shown to be a ruthless slaver with ranks of surface men pillaged from ships and equipped with gills in place of their human lungs. The reverse operation can be performed on Fish-Men to allow them to become fully amphibious, though the lungs involved must be harvested from a human. Neptina’s vanity is showcased when she demands that the lungs for her operation be harvested from a beautiful woman only. This also proves to be Neptina’s first major stumbling block, as Brad Fletcher immediately falls in love with movie star Norma Kane when she is brought to Amloza, and rescuing her is one of his major motivations for disrupting Neptina’s plans in early installments.

    More interesting than Neptina’s schemes is the biology of Amloza’s population. There appear to be at least two biological castes, with more humanoid Fish-Men Nobles like Brad Fletcher’s friend Gakk holding higher station than the fish-headed commoners (Neptina’s chief scientist Mogg is a regular Fish-Man and probably the most competent character in the comic, in a welcome nod to the foolishness of biological determinism).

    Complicating things further is the fact that the female population of Amloza appears to consist entirely of bodacious blonde babes in shell bras. If it were just Neptina I’d figure that she was a surface woman somehow elevated to the throne (the racial politics of the time would almost demand that a non-white/nonhuman group would instinctively subjugate themselves to a blonde bombshell), but this suggests the kind of sexual dimorphism we see in fantasy and sci-fi character design (mildly NSFW comic, but Oglaf as a whole is wildly NSFW).

    The other option, and the one I favour, is that the group represented by Neptina and the Fish-Men are two morphologically distinct but related species operating as a unified society – perhaps the Neptinans are naturally parthogenic (sp) which explains their seeming single gender, while the Fish-Men could lack any sexual dimorphism. The Fish-Men Nobles would thus represent hybrids of the two populations and thus their role as nobles could be seen as a bridge between the two.

    Speculative biology aside, here’s a timeline of Neptina’s deal:

    -after Brad Fletcher and Norma Kane escape, she acquires lungs from a second, less fortunate surface woman and makes her way to NYC.

    -while attempting to raise capital by selling some huge pearls, Neptina runs afoul of both the NYPD and a gang of crooks, who foolishly attempt to get rid of her via drowning and end up on the bottom of the harbour themselves.

    -the pearls in question are the sacred Tear Drops of Neptune and scientist Mogg, already a mite anti-monarchist in his leanings, embarks on a) a mission to recover them and b) an attempt to undermine Neptina’s plans of conquest.

    -also set against Neptina: Gakk the Fish-Man Noble and her own half-sister Mhersa, leader of a rebel group called the Maella.

    -Brad returns with a diplomatic envoy. Things are tense but civil until the surface folk help drive off an invasion by Dhakka Snail-Men. At this point, Neptina effectively reforms – Mogg has even seemingly forgiven her for making off with the sacred pearls. More dark: the US Government in the form of Brad Fletcher has forgiven her for the many crimes against its citizens in pursuit of a powerful alliance. 

    As 1940 closes, Brad, Norma, Neptina and Mogg are stranded mid-ocean and Mhersa has taken over Amloza. Will she be villainous enough to appear here? Find out when I make my way to the 1941 issues of Champ Comics!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 567: THE FALCON

    (The Comics 001, 1937)

    The Falcon is a mercenary spy and Doctor Doom’s opposite number in the conflict between the kingdoms of Returia and Merovia. It’s somewhat debatable whether a couple of spies-for-hire can be classified as either heroes or villains in such a situation, but the story certainly presents them as such, with Merovia being vaguely Nazi German and Doctor Doom being proudly American to underline things.

    The Falcon’s espionage is also a bit more dastardly than Doctor Doom’s, as well as being a bit more effective. In particular, the Falcon’s kidnapping of Doom’s son Stephen from a Swiss boarding school with egregiously poor security comes very close to spelling Returia’s end.

    Like the Masked Czar before him, the Falcon provides some insight into the ups and downs of serialized storytelling – in this case, it’s the all-too-often case of a serial being axed before it actually comes to a conclusion,leaving the Falcon in the ascendant. Don’t worry, though! This comic was evidently assembled out of the plot of a Big Little Book, so if you want to find out what happens and how exactly Doctor Doom comes out on top you can probably find out by buying the two extant Doctor Doom books for… looks like around $150 US plus shipping. Have fun!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 558: DOXOL

    (Wonderworld Comics 004, 1939)

    We (and the Flame) start in media res, as a young woman unsuccessfully attempts to flee a car full of hooded goons, is captured and brought back to an ominous manor in the woods. The Flame cottons on to this and follows them.

    Inside we find Doxol! Doxol is a wizened green fellow who is using mind control drugs (mystic ones!) to create his own little crime cult. This is where the slice-of-life nature of the story gets a bit frustrating from an analytical perspective: is Doxol still setting up or has this cult been a going concern for a while? Were the new recruits all kidnapped or recruited regular cult-style? Even Doxol’s appearance – magic mutation or dramatic disguise? It’s a mystery!

    The Flame has even less information about Doxol than we do because he was dropped into a pit with crushy walls as soon as he stepped through the door. Lucky for him/ unlucky for Doxol his induction ceremony involves a flaming brazier for the Flame to appear in like he does (also lucky for that lady because she doesn’t get shot full of grody mind control drugs).

    Doxol makes his escape while the hooded riffraff deal with the Flame, or so he thinks. Turns out that the Flame was fortuitously flying his plane when he stumbled into this mess. 

    You’d think that engaging a guy like the Flame in a dogfight would level the playing field for a fellow like Doxol but no, he just leans out the window and lights Doxol’s plane on fire.