The Curse of Skeleton Munroe

Category: kidnapper

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 517: THE BULL

    (Blue Bolt v2 004, 1941)

    Community. That’s what the Bull’s all about. Specifically a crime community, one of the top kinds of communities (to read about at least – most of them don’t sound too great to live in). Situated in the Florida Everglades, the Bull’s nameless crime community consists of him, about five other guys and a pet crocodile living in a bunch of ramshackle shacks. It’s not much, but it’s home.

    There’s not much else to the Bull – if I’m honest he only gets the nod because I love crime communities and there aren’t enough of them. He does a kidnapping and tries to burn down a town and the Twister runs him in for his troubles. The real victim here is that poor crocodile who has to find its way down from that tree. And also that kidnapped woman, of course.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 490: THE HOOK

    (Big Shot Comics 003, 1940)

    Is a hook hand the most basic gimmick that automatically flips a gang boss over to being a super-villain in my mind? We don’t have enough data to call it yet but all signs point to Probably. 

    This Hook is Hook Horner and there’s not too much to say about him: he kidnaps a young woman sometime between the death of someone she is set to inherit millions from but before she herself knows about it, ie, while the money is still going to be in legal limbo for a while yet, ie, way too early. He gives the Face a run for his money but like a lot of hook-handed villains in the end he dies because his hook gets caught on something, in this case a speeding car.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 490: THE HOOK

    (Big Shot Comics 003, 1940)

    Is a hook hand the most basic gimmick that automatically flips a gang boss over to being a super-villain in my mind? We don’t have enough data to call it yet but all signs point to Probably. 

    This Hook is Hook Horner and there’s not too much to say about him: he kidnaps a young woman sometime between the death of someone she is set to inherit millions from but before she herself knows about it, ie, while the money is still going to be in legal limbo for a while yet, ie, way too early. He gives the Face a run for his money but like a lot of hook-handed villains in the end he dies because his hook gets caught on something, in this case a speeding car.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 486: THE MONSTER

    (Big 3 006, 1941)

    The Monster, while an imposing figure engaged in some extremely villainous and questionable activities – kidnapping wealthy young women from some sort of summer camp – ultimately fails to satisfy.

    And here is exactly why: this is the kind of story that benefits from a bit of mystery: a red herring or two; a few suspects – but this George Benson guy not only is the singular suspect but has spent twenty-plus years saying things like “you will live to regret the day” and trying to ruin the lives of the woman who turned him down, the man she chose over him and their child. Worst of all, the inciting incident that lead to him dressing up in orange jodhpurs and a stupid mask is him pursuing the affections of the child and very reasonably being turned down for being an old creep (to be clear, she is an adult at the time. He is just a double or even triple adult). 

    He doesn’t even have the dignity to get killed at the end. Just a sad old spiteful creep in a mask.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 486: THE MONSTER

    (Big 3 006, 1941)

    The Monster, while an imposing figure engaged in some extremely villainous and questionable activities – kidnapping wealthy young women from some sort of summer camp – ultimately fails to satisfy.

    And here is exactly why: this is the kind of story that benefits from a bit of mystery: a red herring or two; a few suspects – but this George Benson guy not only is the singular suspect but has spent twenty-plus years saying things like “you will live to regret the day” and trying to ruin the lives of the woman who turned him down, the man she chose over him and their child. Worst of all, the inciting incident that lead to him dressing up in orange jodhpurs and a stupid mask is him pursuing the affections of the child and very reasonably being turned down for being an old creep (to be clear, she is an adult at the time. He is just a double or even triple adult). 

    He doesn’t even have the dignity to get killed at the end. Just a sad old spiteful creep in a mask.

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 454: THE GREEN TERROR

    (Mystic Comics v1 001, 1940)

    The Green Terror gets off on the right foot with me, let me tell you. Sure he’s a mysterious figure who sends goons out to kidnap healthy young New Yorkers for unknown but surely sinister purposes, but those goons are dressed in green costumes and drive around in a green car with a green smokescreen and if there’s one thing I love, my friend, it’s a villain who sticks to a theme.

    The Green Terror is opposed by super-sleuth trio the Three Xs and well… I groused a while back about Marvel Comics fans constantly overwriting their own history and the Three Xs might just be the best recent example of that. Up until 2019 this was their only appearance and their entry on any given fan website probably read like that final panel: 1X is the leader, 2X the brains and 3X the muscle. Then Marvel Comics #1000 came out and did a really great, fun job of bringing together disparate and unconnected bits of Marvel Universe lore – the Three Xs were also the Scientists’ Guild from the Human Torch’s origin were also the Enclave who created Adam Warlock etc, and they were engaged in a generations-long scheme involving the Eternity Mask which was, it turns out, worn by everyone from the Operative to the Thunderer to the Masked Raider.

    And like I said: this is all great! It’s a fun way for a forgotten bit of comics lore to come back into focus! I just wish that there wasn’t such a tendency for more recent information to overwrite what came before.

    Grumbling aside, the Three Xs get jumped by a bunch of the Green Terror’s goons, then track them to an ocean liner and get jumped again, leading to them being captured. On purpose, or so they claim.

    (the Green Terror’s lieutenant really going for it here “Ah! More guests for the blood feast!” indeed)

    The blood feast in question involves draining the blood out of the kidnap victims in order to… inject? feed? it to this tall green hunk of jerky. Honestly, most information about the Green Terror is going to be speculative due to the fact that he’s a classic blowhard of a villain who yammers on and on about how great he is. If you take him at his word he’s an immortal superman who absorbs strength from the blood of his victims. On the face of the evidence, he’s a green guy with a blood fetish. The truth lies somewhere in between.

    Obviously any villain who can convincingly deliver the line “the Green Terror will always be the strongest man in the Universe!” about half a page before being punched out and apprehended is my kind of bad guy and should be BRUNG BACK post haste. Is he exactly the same or is he a withered green husk after 80-odd years in prison? Just how much blood will he steal and how much trash will he talk while doing so? I want to see it!

    OR! Since the Three Xs eventually became the Enclave etc of Adam Warlock fame perhaps they acquired the Green Terror from the authorities as part of their research into superhumanity. He’s floating in a tube in an abandoned lab right now after having his weird hair harvested to make cocoons or something and all he needs is for the right dummy to break in to steal the copper wiring to set him free!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 454: THE GREEN TERROR

    (Mystic Comics v1 001, 1940)

    The Green Terror gets off on the right foot with me, let me tell you. Sure he’s a mysterious figure who sends goons out to kidnap healthy young New Yorkers for unknown but surely sinister purposes, but those goons are dressed in green costumes and drive around in a green car with a green smokescreen and if there’s one thing I love, my friend, it’s a villain who sticks to a theme.

    The Green Terror is opposed by super-sleuth trio the Three Xs and well… I groused a while back about Marvel Comics fans constantly overwriting their own history and the Three Xs might just be the best recent example of that. Up until 2019 this was their only appearance and their entry on any given fan website probably read like that final panel: 1X is the leader, 2X the brains and 3X the muscle. Then Marvel Comics #1000 came out and did a really great, fun job of bringing together disparate and unconnected bits of Marvel Universe lore – the Three Xs were also the Scientists’ Guild from the Human Torch’s origin were also the Enclave who created Adam Warlock etc, and they were engaged in a generations-long scheme involving the Eternity Mask which was, it turns out, worn by everyone from the Operative to the Thunderer to the Masked Raider.

    And like I said: this is all great! It’s a fun way for a forgotten bit of comics lore to come back into focus! I just wish that there wasn’t such a tendency for more recent information to overwrite what came before.

    Grumbling aside, the Three Xs get jumped by a bunch of the Green Terror’s goons, then track them to an ocean liner and get jumped again, leading to them being captured. On purpose, or so they claim.

    (the Green Terror’s lieutenant really going for it here “Ah! More guests for the blood feast!” indeed)

    The blood feast in question involves draining the blood out of the kidnap victims in order to… inject? feed? it to this tall green hunk of jerky. Honestly, most information about the Green Terror is going to be speculative due to the fact that he’s a classic blowhard of a villain who yammers on and on about how great he is. If you take him at his word he’s an immortal superman who absorbs strength from the blood of his victims. On the face of the evidence, he’s a green guy with a blood fetish. The truth lies somewhere in between.

    Obviously any villain who can convincingly deliver the line “the Green Terror will always be the strongest man in the Universe!” about half a page before being punched out and apprehended is my kind of bad guy and should be BRUNG BACK post haste. Is he exactly the same or is he a withered green husk after 80-odd years in prison? Just how much blood will he steal and how much trash will he talk while doing so? I want to see it!

    OR! Since the Three Xs eventually became the Enclave etc of Adam Warlock fame perhaps they acquired the Green Terror from the authorities as part of their research into superhumanity. He’s floating in a tube in an abandoned lab right now after having his weird hair harvested to make cocoons or something and all he needs is for the right dummy to break in to steal the copper wiring to set him free!

  • MINOR SUPER-HERO 362: THE SON OF COUNT DRACULA

    (Master Comics 020, 1941)

    The Son of Count Dracula: 100/100 for theming and commitment to the bit, 0/100 for practical planning. 

    So: a team of private detectives named Splithair and Undermeyer are hired to investigate a series of disappearances associated with Vampire Castle, located in the castle-rich hills of New York State. Splithair is quickly captured by the Son of Count Dracula (tSoCD) and Undermeyer is only saved by the timely intervention of a nosy Bulletman. TSoCD retreats from the dawn and Bulletman escorts a panicky Undermeyer home.

    The next day Bulletgirl, justifiably upset at being left behind on the first outing, does some investigating of her own and is promptly added to tSoCD’s collection of prisoners, and then Bulletman shows up to save the day.

    The Son of Count Dracula turns out to be Splithair, of course, and while I admire his imagination and sticktoitiveness I must note that it is entirely his fault that he was caught. Beyond even the question of whether he should have taken the job to investigate his own crimes there is the simple fact that he didn’t need to run a vampire-themed kidnapping ring out of Vampire Castle. Run a regular kidnapping ring somewhere inconspicuous, man! Make yourself at least a little hard to find!

  • MINOR SUPER-HERO 362: THE SON OF COUNT DRACULA

    (Master Comics 020, 1941)

    The Son of Count Dracula: 100/100 for theming and commitment to the bit, 0/100 for practical planning. 

    So: a team of private detectives named Splithair and Undermeyer are hired to investigate a series of disappearances associated with Vampire Castle, located in the castle-rich hills of New York State. Splithair is quickly captured by the Son of Count Dracula (tSoCD) and Undermeyer is only saved by the timely intervention of a nosy Bulletman. TSoCD retreats from the dawn and Bulletman escorts a panicky Undermeyer home.

    The next day Bulletgirl, justifiably upset at being left behind on the first outing, does some investigating of her own and is promptly added to tSoCD’s collection of prisoners, and then Bulletman shows up to save the day.

    The Son of Count Dracula turns out to be Splithair, of course, and while I admire his imagination and sticktoitiveness I must note that it is entirely his fault that he was caught. Beyond even the question of whether he should have taken the job to investigate his own crimes there is the simple fact that he didn’t need to run a vampire-themed kidnapping ring out of Vampire Castle. Run a regular kidnapping ring somewhere inconspicuous, man! Make yourself at least a little hard to find!

  • MINOR SUPER-VILLAIN 361: THE THROTTLER

    (Master Comics 019, 1941)

    Imagine my excitement when I saw that Zoro the Mystery Man was facing a guy called the Throttler so soon after his bout with the Choker: a theme! A villain theme! Huzzah!

    And imagine my disappointment when I discovered that the Throttler moniker was a fiction developed by two butlers to cover for their fairly inept kidnapping scheme. There wasn’t even any throttling!

    Still, I do have to tip my hat to them on one front: in a super-hero universe, pretending to be a guy with a special name and a gimmick is absolutely the way to give your ransom note a bit more gravitas. Too bad for them that it’s also absolutely the way to get beat up by a guy with a pet cheetah.