REAL PERSON ROUND-UP 031

REAL PERSON ROUND-UP 031

Get ready for some real people, now in comic form!

Adolf Hitler:

Just as a musician knows that they have made it in a certain way because they have been parodied by Weird Al Yankovic, when a 1940s comics character has vexed Adolf Hitler or a transparent analog of him they can rest easy in the knowledge that they have done their part for history. This particular Hitler is vexed by aviation-based duo Shot and Shell. (Military Comics 003, 1941)

Cheops:

“The Magic Crystal of History” was a recurring feature in the early days of New Fun and More Fun Comics, and concerned a pair of young children named Bobby and Binks who stumbled upon the titular crystal and unlocked its mysterious chronal powers. In their first outing, the duo are transported back to Ancient Egypt and identified as demonic entities thanks to their weird clothes and strange complexions (everyone in history was a provincial rube, you see) and nearly killed by some priests before Pharaoh Cheops (aka Khufu), the one rational man in the country, showed up to save them. (New Fun Comics 002, 1935)

Tutankhamen:

Bobby and Binks’ second foray into the past takes them to a more recent era in Egyptian history and they meet Tutankhamen and his consort Ankhesenamun and save them from an assassination attempt. Note the weird monotheism shout-out in the panel above, which is especially weird because restoring Egyptian polytheism is one of the few things that the rule of Tutankhamen is known for. (New Fun Comics 006, 1935)

We also briefly meet King Tut’s brother, a mysterious figure not recorded by history. (More Fun Comics 012, 1936) 

Croesus:

In later Bobby and Binks stories they figure out how to use the Magic Crystal of History to merely view the events of the past rather than placing themselves in the midst of them. In the first of these, they witness Croesus’ famous visit to the Oracle of Delphi and his subsequent defeat by Cyrus the Great. Luckily for the kids’ sensitive eyes they live in a world where Cyrus spares Croesus rather than horribly executing him, whereas in our world the truth of Croesus’ death is unknown. 

“The Magic Crystal of History” has now entered Dubiously but Arguably Part of Continuity territory, as it is now functionally just a nonfiction fact page, something I would normally discount for inclusion in the Real Person Round-Up, but the fact that Bobby and Binks, two children who have had time travel adventures, are watching the action means that it is and has taken place in the past of the Golden Age DCU, which means that Vandal Savage is technically lurking in the background of half of them.

All this is to say that I am sorry for the next three-plus Real Person Round-Ups being wall-to-wall Magic Crystal of History content. (More Fun Comics 012, 1936)

Alexander the Great:

Bobby and Binks next view Alexander of Macedon’s early campaigns in the Balkans, and in these early comics you are tempted to think that the Magic Crystal of History is censoring some of the bloodshed, but no, these kids are just totally desensitized to historical violence. Featuring Glaucias of Taulantii! (More Fun Comics 013, 1936)

Xerxes:

And speaking of bloodshed, the very next thing that the kids watch in the Magic Crystal is Xerxes vs the Spartans at the Battle of Thermopylae, including the betrayal of Ephialtes and the last stand of Leonidas and his 300. Fun stuff, kids! (More Fun Comics 014, 1936)

Sir Francis Drake:

“HMS Barracuda” was a very short-lived naval action comic about a submarine commanded by Skiff Wilkins, a direct descendant of Sir Francis Drake. (Military Comics 004, 1941)

George Roussos:

Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson hit the carnival and pass by a billboard advertising “Roussos the Flame-Eater.” (Detective Comics v1 051, 1941)

Pancho Villa:

Jack Woods (the very first DC Comics character dues to his appearance on the cover of New Fun Comics 001) comes into conflict with Villa over the fate of a ranch owner and his daughter. (New Fun Comics 005, 1935)

Twelve issues and more than one calendar year later, Woods knocks Villa out a window and into the hands of the Mexican Federales to stand trial, which is not how his career ended in our world. (More Fun Comics 017, 1937) 

Viscount Andrew Cunningham:

Admiral Sir Andrew Cunningham, Commander of the British Mediterranean Fleet, has a brief cameo in this Archie Atkins comic. (Military Comics 003, 1941)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *