Bored? Unemployed? Why not explore a career in low-tier supercrime? the ABC Gang: I must regretfully inform you that the ABC Gang that is described here does not appear in this issue, as Spencer Steel and his pal Doakes instead get sidetracked by a different gang that is looking to rob the bank that they pegged as the logical next target in the ABCs’ pattern. This is a real shame, because “gang who robs banks in alphabetical order by name,…
(Captain America Comics 001, 1940) Captain America! Hitler-Puncher Number One! Quite possibly in the top five of super-heroics’ most well-known origins – a young man, physically unfit for the military but wishing to serve his country, is transformed into a super soldier with a combination of chemicals and radiation. The scientist responsible for this is murdered by an enemy spy rendering the young man a unique hero rather than the first of many. His first act as a hero is…
You give a guy access to a mask and some super-science and how does he repay you? Crime! Karno: The dapper Karno has a cool flying submarine, a metal-melting weapon and a plan to combine the two and do some old-fashioned piracy with them. He thinks that this scheme will be enhanced by the expert submarine piloting skills of Sub Saunders, but quickly learns the same lesson that all villains do upon incorporating a hero into their plans: it’s more hassle than…
It’s a wide-ranging and complicated theological world out there. the Death Orchid: Once again we have a giant flower – in this case a carnivorous one – that is being worshipped as a god. Interestingly, the people doing so are Lamas, which I think might be being incorrectly used as a general term for Tibetans of a religious inclination, unless there are some major aspects of Tibetan Buddhism that I haven’t heard about. Adventure aviator Captain Kidd flies a fellow named Professor…
(Fantastic Comics 023, 1941) The comic opens in media res, as a (the) Monster bursts into the hotel room of art critic Iona Hall and carries her off into the night. Cut to the Gorman Art Gallery the next day, where we see… Iona Hall!? As you might have guessed, this isn’t the real Iona Hall, and “famous art connoisseur” Dan Kenneth spots this when he is introduced to the false Hall by gallery owner Gorman. When Kenneth attempts to discover…
Gosh! How alien they are! Frog-Men: These two Frog-Men cause trouble for Sub Saunders when they steal his ship for a little joyriding/ piracy session. They are undone by the fact that neither of them know how to drive, and are ultimately head-konked into submission after crash landing. What this tells us about Frog-Man society is unclear – if this were a Star Wars then the Frog-Men would end up being a race of car thieves, of course, but most…
I feel like we could avoid some of this unpleasantness if we made the Mad Arts a required part of the curriculum again. Unnamed Sorcerer: The Golden Knight and Alice are up to some good old-fashioned adventure, as they travel into the land of Kongola to seek out the cause of mysterious disappearances of people in adjoining Kooran. Just where are Kongola and Kooran? I’m going to say somewhere in what is now the United Kingdom since that that is…
Once again I must regretfully inform you that some comic books are problematic. Like, racially. the Laughing Hyenas: Hey, it’s our first racial hate group, and I think I’m just going to preemptively file these under “problematic” because they’re a) not fun to talk about and b) necessitate talking about hate-crimes even if I, for example, choose not to use the panels with lynchings in them. The Laughing Hyenas are actually kind of a hate group by proxy, as they…
It’s more of those dastardly (and not-so-dastardly) aliens! Zutarians: One day while on a trip to visit his magic brother in-law who lives on the sun, the Golden Knight and Alice are thrown off course and crash on planet Zutarn, where they are picked up by some friendly-yet-threatening Zutarians. As is often the case in Golden Age comics, the exact location of Zutarn is not stated – for bookkeeping reasons I’m going to say it’s in an unspecified star system,…
Super-heroes, coincidentally arranged in ascending order of notability! Kalkor: A faithful priest of Isis c.1000 BC, Kalkor is restored to life at the same time as Nagana, the Queen of Evil, as a foil to her power. He is empowered with the same immortality and comic book magic as Nagana so that he may combat her effectively (and perhaps as a way for Isis to make up for crushing him to death as a byproduct of collapsing a temple on…